Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 29

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 29

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 29

I have not done what I set out to do in September.  I have not followed the plan, I have not kept detailed records, and I have not put any effort into what I needed to do this week at all.

The Monster is winning this week.  It is crushing the soul of my inner beauty. What am I going to do about it?

I have to refocus.  I have to make the efforts I need to make to have results.  I am not perfect, and although I was going to try my best, I fell short.  Like not even falling off the wagon, because I never climbed on it in the first place.

What am I NOT going to do about it?  Make excuses.

I am better than that.  I am better than the monster inside that convinced me it was a great idea to eat chips and Fudgsicles this week.  I am better than the monster that is telling me it is OK to eat whatever I want to because I am really hungry and don’t have time to wait for a healthier option to be ready to eat.  I am worth the effort of drowning out the monster with my inner beauty.  I need to let it shine, and help me find the way to becoming a healthier version of myself.

I need to have a plan, not just the THM plan, although that is a part of what I need to do, it needs to be a complete plan that encompasses everything I am working on and makes me want to work at this.  On me.  It is bigger than me just writing about it.  I need to DO it.  So this weekend, I am going to set aside a few hours to get this set up.

Part of the reason is that I am very skilled at making excuses.  I need to stop it.  Right now.  I am on such a roll with my writing that I do not want to stop.  I want to keep moving forward in all aspects of my life and live it to the fullest.  I will also avoid things and just do what I want to do instead of what I need to do if it is easier.  This is not a good way to do what I want to do, which is to lead by example.  I am not feeling the leader vibe this week.  I need to change things and make this happen.

Now. OK, on the weekend, as I am a tad bit busy with the writing and the entrepreneurial dreams and projects I am working on to change my whole life for the better.  The problem with letting the monster win is that I am leaving out a very important aspect of this dream, and that is me.  I need to rank myself higher on the list of things to be taken care of, so the inner beauty has the chance to glow and outshine the monster forever.

I am making a commitment here to have this ready to go for Monday.  I am going to hold myself accountable for taking the steps to make things happen.  Only I can make the necessary plans and changes to have this work.  It is time to take action and stop listening to the monster that keeps me from being the healthiest version of myself.  It is time to open the cage that traps my inner beauty so far inside me that I cannot find it anymore.  I need to let it out and nurture it until it is as bright as the sun.  I need to keep telling myself that I am worth it until I believe it.  Louder than the monster.  Brighter than the stars in the sky.  Over and over again, until I really get it.  And then you will see that I am doing this in front of all who witness it, and I will be accomplishing the dream of leading by example, by working hard to achieve my personal and professional goals.  Other things are starting to fall into place.  This is just the next thing I am on the verge of succeeding at.  Time to shine.

If you are following this series, and like what you read, thank you.  If you have your own story to share, please contact me.  I have accepted other people’s stories in this category and would love to have more stories than my own to share here.  I don’t want to bore everyone with my stories EVERY week, so if this is something YOU want to do, reach out to me.  There is a contact page for that very reason.  I am also willing to work with people to write a story based on an informal interview or having some discussions about their issues, to help other people deal with their own issues, and helping people understand what it is really like to have issues on EITHER END of the scale.  I would be happy to share your experiences, issues, successes, and tips here in the future.  Stop thinking about it.  Stop making excuses.  Let’s work together to change ourselves and the lives we live.  Our inner beauties deserve to be free and thriving.  We are worth every bit of the effort.  Let’s drop-kick those monsters to the curb. Together.  If I can do this, so can you.

#TrustYourGut.

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 29

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 25

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 25

I had a rough week last week.  It was one of those “hard on my head” kind of weeks.  I am struggling to dig out from under the stuff that was dragging me down.  It is hard to focus on living a healthier lifestyle when the world is crashing all around you, and pulling the rug out from under your feet.  This week was not much better, but I am turning things around.  I have made some decisions.

Sometimes there are too many things to deal with and I get overwhelmed. Or frustrated. Or angry.  I did some thinking this week,  and I made some decisions.  My anger may have got the best of me in the last two weeks, and I am still finding ways to deal with it.  Eating is not one of them.  I have struggled to make healthier choices when it comes to food.  I went to Zumba.  In Zumba, I realized my abs were not going to be happy with me the next day.  I decided that was OK, because I am really not too pleased with my abs, either.

Instead of spiralling out of control, I spent some time dealing with my feelings.  They are not all resolved, but I decided that I was not able to control some things.  I also realized that there are some things that I can control.  I did some cooking.  Tonight I made Bangin Ranch Drums.  THM is a source of healthy recipes and food.  I have been making some of the recipes over and over, and I need to get back to it.

Tonight was a good start.  A week from tonight, I will meet my new doctor.  I finally made an appointment.  It will be good to get it over, and I am hoping that it will be a good experience.  If not, I will ask for a different doctor in the clinic I go to.  I am really hoping that it works out.

I do not have a lot of information or inspiration this week.  So I will just encourage anyone that is reading this to keep going.  Keep fighting for yourself.  Keep working to let your inner beauty shine so bright that the monster doesn’t stand a chance.  Because it is a never ending struggle, and no matter what your issues are, we can only tackle the ones we have a chance at winning.  That doesn’t mean that you should throw in the towel and give up.  What it does mean, is that sometimes you have to choose your battles.  This week I took my time about it, but in the end, I picked me.  And that is the best choice I can make.

#TrustYourGut

Weekend Warrior #24

Weekend Warrior #24

If you have ever wondered why I picked the “Angry Tomato” pic for this series, there are a few reasons.  One is that it made me laugh, out loud.  I reacted to it, so I decided it would work.  Another is because I am fighting my way to living a healthier lifestyle, and I wanted a kitchen themed picture for this series.  I try to do the cooking and cleaning on the weekends, I find it had to work at during the work week.  I have had some success this year in my spring cleaning challenge, but as of yet, I have not finished.  I choose not to dwell on what I have not done and try to move forward because of what I have done.

I am planning my day out, dreading the return to work tomorrow.  I am a firm believer that there should be less week and more weekend.  I do not have the power or the budget to sustain a lifestyle that does not include a day job, so the reality is, I have to keep the day job, even if I would rather devote all of my time to being creative and writing.

Which brings me to my books.  I have started them, yes.  I have had an idea (finally) this morning about where to continue as I plan to write some more today.  I don’t know if I will succeed in writing enough to complete the weekend challenge I joined, but I am going to see what I could do.  That is how I entered.  This doesn’t count, as it is not progressing on my book.  I will add it to the word count as a side project, because it is writing, nonetheless. I do have deadlines with my blog, too, though and I have to do my best to keep up with it here for myself, and for my followers.  Thank you to those who are taking the time to read my Blog, and welcome to any people who are new here.  I write at least twice a week, and this is one of my regular categories. Me vs the weekend. 🙂

Yesterday I got up early, bought and delivered a birthday present to a friend.  Her birthday had been the day before, and I wanted to make sure I got to see her.  We had a good talk, but as she was working it wasn’t the same as a real visit.  I am going to try and pop over again today, as I think it would be nice.

I then tackled some indoor gardening projects.  I have read online that spiders and other bugs do not like mint plants.  A few weeks ago, I had bought six different mint plants, and my husband replanted them into new pots for me.  I have noticed that they were drying up.  I am still trying to figure out a watering schedule for them.  I watered them from the top yesterday when I was finished, and just before I started writing I watered them from the bottom.  I will have to do some online research.  While I was working yesterday I found a green “leaf eater” bug, which my husband buried in the dirt saying that it is a leaf eater, that should be the end of it.  I have my doubts.  I also found an inchworm in another one, and that was successfully relocated outside on a leaf from that plant.  Late last night I got him to move a ladybug back outside for me.  The ants and spiders are not found as frequently inside, so that is a bonus.  I am hoping it works and more bugs stay outside.

Something else was a little confusing.  There is a spearmint plant amongst the varieties I bought, and around the base of the pot on the shelf that I have it on are a lot of hard, black dots.  It is either droppings from a critter or the plant went to seed because it was so dry.  I am not sure, the black bits are no bigger than granulated sugar pieces.  They may indeed be little seeds.  I may gather them up and plant them, to see what comes up!

My husband worked a few extra hours yesterday.  He has been doing that on one of his days off to help with our budget.  I am not going to write about my work here, at least not this week, I had a frustrating week.  I am going to leave it at that, and it is also the reason I did not do any over time at my work this week.  Sometimes I do.  This week it just wasn’t going to happen.

After he was done, we picked up a few groceries.  He made us subs for lunch and he barbequed some wieners for supper.  We then headed out to spend time with some friends.  He had a guys gaming night, and I watched a movie with another friend and called it a ladies night.  Sometimes it is important to plan activities apart.  Other times, like today, we will spend more time together.  It is OK to not spend every single minute with your significant other when you have free time.  It is healthy to have different friends, hobbies and activities.  There is still a common ground for the things you enjoy doing together, but a little break here and there is something we all need.

For prep cooking today I am making Bangin’ Ranch Drums.  It is a Trim Healthy Mama recipe.  I love it, and my husband is OK with it in the rotation, but like with all of the THM recipes, he doesn’t want it all the time.  We also got buns for barbequed cheeseburgers and sloppy joes.  I have some THM sloppy joe mix already made in my freezer.  He likes Manwich.  On this, I am OK with him making his own supper.  If I am to be on plan when I eat it, I will have it with salad, not on a bun.  I may make some green bean fries this week too, as I do enjoy them as a side with the chicken.  I am still working on everything all at once but trying to be realistic at the same time.

Today I will be continuing the cat sitting job.  I also did some plant care there yesterday, they have one houseplant and it needed TLC.  I don’t know about the plant boxes on the deck, though.  They look like they have had a rough summer, and I am not sure if they can be rescued.  I may try, just to surprise my friends when they come home.  I will see how the day goes.  It is very dry, there is a no fire ban here province wide. If I do work on the outdoor plants, I will have to remember to water them.  If they don’t read this, it will be a nice surprise.  If they do, I make no promises.  It may be beyond saving.

I am a member of the Fredericton Science Fiction Society.  The FSFS gets together a little less frequently than it used to, but today we are going to meet up at a local ice cream shop.  My husband is a member too, and the group usually has potluck events year round.  With a ban on fires, we decided it would be better to go have ice cream instead of an outdoor BBQ at a local park today.  Air conditioning may or may not have been a deciding factor in this plan.

We have to do some cleaning.  While I was working on my indoor gardening yesterday, my husband was trimming the lawn.  He didn’t mow it yet.  It is still very dry so there may not be a rush for that.  He is amused that I think we should water it with the garden hose.  It is turning brown.  I just want it to be healthy, and not be so dry it is at risk for burning.  There was a thunderstorm last night, but we need more rain to remove the risk of fires, sooner rather than later.

All in all a busy weekend, but thankfully, it has been going at a slower pace this week.  It is a holiday tomorrow, and I look forward to the holiday pay that I *may have* already spent yesterday.  It is OK. I will forfeit it to the budget since I went ahead and bought some extras.  It’s all about compromise and doing what you can to make life enjoyable with what you have to work with.  Weekends are supposed to be fun and relaxing.  I think I snuck a little of each in this weekend, so it is a win for me!  What did you do this weekend?

 

 

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 29

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 18

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 18

Tomorrow.  Monday. The first day of the month.  We have all been there, and we have all promised ourselves that we will do better, but not now.  It is hard when you are addicted to food and addicted to sugar.  It is impossibly hard when you are too lazy to find the way to a healthier lifestyle.  I have written it before, and I will likely write these words again, it is easy to be lazy.

I am told quite frequently that I am too hard on myself.  I have come to accept that quality as something I am.  The truth is, I don’t know how to be any other way.  In my dabblings along the curvy path I am walking beside, around and sometimes hanging upside down from a tree on,  sometimes I cut myself way too much slack.  There is no middle ground when it comes to me and some things.  Some things being food.

I am finding it really hard to stick to staying on plan.  I know, it works.  I know I feel better when I do follow the plan.  I know it is the best thing for me to do.  Yet here I am again, thinking that tomorrow is a new day, for a fresh start.

What is a person supposed to do when this happens?  It is like I am on the side of a mountain in the middle of a mudslide, and in MY world, it is hailing Swedish berries, and all the mud is chocolate mixed with hot fudge, of course.  It is a struggle for most people to eat healthy most of the time.  I find if I give myself a little slack, I tend to give a little more, and a little more, until there is no more slack left, and I am way off track and possibly lost.

I am watching my body change, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worst.  I keep a close eye on my gut, and it does fluctuate, frequently.  I have also noticed that when I do put in the effort to work on me, I am starting to see the shape of the oblique muscles cause dents in my stomach.  I see them, so they are in there, somewhere.  Underneath the curves and fluff.

My chin causes me great concern.  I know what makes it look like that, and I know what fixes it.  You might think that is a little weird or eccentric, but it is true.  If I make GGMS, it gets smaller.  If I hit up chocolate a lot, it collects in my chin.  I kid you not.  I am wearing the chocolates I bought last Christmas in there right now.  I am positive that is what did it.

I did some sweeping and mopping this past week. We were expecting company.  I had a tight, sore back for two days after that.  I didn’t like it, but I didn’t pull anything, and I was able to do most things without any change.  Bending over was horrendous.  The good news is that I feel better now.  The bad news is that I am not convinced that cleaning my floors is good for my health.  They don’t clean themselves, though.

I need to work more at being on plan.  I know this.  It is hard to convince the monster that it doesn’t belong here anymore.  It wants me to dive into the mudslide of chocolate and never come up for air.  Or find a really big straw.

I just spent 2 hours taking the meat from the chicken I cooked.  It was a really big chicken.  I will be making that chicken chili tomorrow.  Or tonight, if I find a second wind.  Either way, the prep work is done, now I just assemble in the pot, and cook it.  That is the thing, though.  It is easy to say I am going to do something, but the prep time is never less than 10 minutes for me.  So that is why I go the easy way sometimes.  Because I take the time to do everything right, and sometimes it takes too long in real life to do what I want to do.  This is another trap down a slippery slope of marshmallow strawberries.  Can you tell I am having a hard time with sugar cravings this week?  I have my favourites, and sometimes I have to give in a little before it becomes a big mistake.

Goals for the upcoming week?  Find out if Ginger Juice by The Ginger People is available locally, or if I have to order it online.  I am using frozen ginger cubes in my GGMS now, but I would like to add the juice if I can find it.  I am wondering if I will like it better than the frozen cubes.  I found the powder too gritty, and want to make the GGMS the best I can.  I already know I LOVE it with Black Cherry Berry Tea by Celestial Seasonings.  So good!  I make the basic recipe and add the tea bags to steep, and drink over ice.  Not early in the day, I would run all day long.  I also need to make the Shrinker.  Another tea drink, made with oolong tea.  The recipes can be found here and I have tried most of the recipes on this page.  Good Girl Moonshine and The Shrinker are the two I am referring to in this story.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I am going to make healthy food to eat.  One day at a time.  Listen to the voice of your inner beauty, and let it help you shine!

#TrustYourGut

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 29

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 17

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 17

You know when you want to eat something, and you know what you should eat and you know what you want to eat and you get the easier thing because it is easier and you already are so hungry that you don’t want to spend the extra ten minutes making the better thing to eat because you are hungry right now?  I feel like that a lot.  This has been another week of grab the easy thing because I don’t have enough food prep cooked, even though I cooked a chicken in my slow cooker the night before last.

Tonight I will make something.  I am thinking about making THM Wicked White Chili.  I have made this once before, with a few small adjustments, and it was really great!  So if I can get it in a pot before I go to bed, and get it in some mason jars in the fridge so it is ready to grab in the morning for my lunch, I will be on my way to being back on track, with minimal effort.  That is something I can totally get up and do.

After supper.  I have an errand to run, and that means I leave the house.  One of the best tips I have for living on a budget is to not leave the house.  The second I do, I know I am going to spend money.  I have done a lot of that over the last 20 years.  It is finally starting to pay off and add up.  Yes, I still have a budget, and yes, I am still working on it, but we have a little more breathing room at the moment.  So I don’t have to stay at home ALL OF THE TIME anymore.

If I don’t manage to make the chili tonight, I will prep some of the chicken for sandwiches tomorrow.  Or to go with my spinach in a salad.  I have some blue cheese dressing that is great with spinach.  Cucumber and tomatoes, green onion, and there is my salad.  I think that is what I will end up doing.  I have been known to eat the mini cucumber “straight up” like I picked it fresh from the garden.  I also have taken a knife to work to prep my salad during my lunch break, right before eating it.  I always have people looking at my lunches, especially my homemade leftover lunches.  I am not a PB & J kind of a lunch packer.  I like having food prepped to eat and ready to grab on my way out the door in the mornings.  It can be something I made for the whole week as I don’t always share my lunch with my husband.

The whole point of getting the chicken and popping it in the crock pot was to have the meat ready to go.  And it is in the fridge, still in the crock pot.  That is as far as I got.  I have been making excuses lately for not prep cooking, and I am going to have to stop doing that.  Yes,  it is easier to go get fast food.  But I have to keep reminding myself that I really enjoyed that chili the last time I made it, and I know it will be really good.  I made the chicken, so now I have to eat it. If my husband wasn’t a fan of this recipe, I would use up the spinach in the chili.  He liked it, so I am going to have to use it another way, maybe with scrambled eggs.

THM Wicked White Chili Recipe

I made it in a pot on the stove.  I used white kidney beans as I could not find the beans the recipe calls for.  I halved the measurements on the cumin and the chili powder.  I did not add any Greek yogurt.  I do not know where to get the chilies and tomatoes mixed, so I add mild chilies and extra stewed tomatoes.  I followed the rest of the recipe and it was delightful.

I go through phases.  Sometimes I try really hard to stay on plan, and other times I just make the wrong choice.  It is really all up to me, and if you read my story a few weeks ago, the monster has been louder again this week.  It wants fast food and junk food and all of the things that got me to the weight I am at today.  Sometimes I choose the wrong thing to eat because I am self-sabotaging my goals of a healthier lifestyle.  I have to keep fighting with myself, for myself.  I am the only one that can make those choices, and I really need to get serious about it.  Again.  It feels like a roller coaster at times, I am sometimes on track and doing well, and then the bottom falls out from under me and I stray from where I need to be going.

Right now, I can only imagine what it would be like to have lost the weight I need to lose.  I need to do it, for me, and for my health.  I need to keep reminding myself that I am worth the better choices and that I am worth the extra time and planning that prep cooking takes.  Otherwise, I will have to live with the consequences, and that is not how I want to be living my life.

Since I had the sinus infection, I have been needing to use my puffer a little more frequently.  I do find that it is hard to take a deep breath sometimes.  It has helped, and I am not using it on a daily, or even on a weekly basis, but sometimes I find my chest feeling tight, and I need to use it.  I guess that means I need to plan a real appointment with a doctor at the clinic.  I do not yet have a new family doctor.  I know it is important to get the appointment scheduled and go get it over with.  The anxiety is still making me hesitate, but I know, deep down, that I need to make the effort to take care of myself.  So the appointment needs to be scheduled, and then I need to go.  I think it is time for that lovely once a year check up, and that is not something anyone should skip.  If I let it go much longer I will need to get my prescriptions refilled, anyway.  So there is a reason to go soon, even if it is just for that.

I didn’t know how much negativity was creeping into my life.  I mean, I was so used to listening to the monster inside that I didn’t even realize that negative self-talk was happening.  I am trying to listen for the inner beauty talk.  It is very, very quiet.  I need to listen harder.  I know it is in there.  And it is crying to be let out of the cage the monster locked it in.  Writing that just broke my heart, a little.  Maybe the crack will be enough to let the inner beauty escape the cage, and find her voice.

#TrustYourGut