Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 74 | I Had A Dream

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 74 | I Had A Dream

I have had a few things on the go in the last few weeks, and I wasn’t sure how to tackle this story until the night before last. What I have been working on includes one part of the journey is from my childhood.

I call it the salt cod incident.

If you have never eaten salt cod, I consider you among a lucky group of people. In my opinion, salt cod is gross, and it was in our meal rotation when I was a child.

I have shared that I would strive to be the first one to clean my plate at the supper table to get the desired dessert. It became my thing. To me, it was a daily reward for something I could do well. When I would ask what was for dessert and I was told to have fruit, I felt disappointment. I would still eat it, but it didn’t qualify as dessert to me, when I was a kid.

One night, I was about four, we had company for supper. And salt cod was the protein on my plate. There was not enough green tomato chow in the world to cover the taste of the salt cod.

I made a plan.

My four year old self wanted to get dessert. She also did not want to eat the salt cod. She decided that she would stuff as much of the salt cod as she could into her cheeks, go to the bathroom and spit the fish into the toilet. Really creative for a four year old, when I think back to it.

My parents were not fooled by the chipmunk cheeks. I was not allowed to go to the bathroom. Instead, I was taken to a bedroom and yelled at to swallow my supper. I defiantly yelled, “No!” for as long as I could stand to. I was having a battle of wills with my father. He was rightly concerned that I would choke on the fish if I kept stuffing it into my cheeks without swallowing it. We also did not waste food in my home.

Eventually, a tearful four year old returned to the kitchen table to finish her supper.

Why am I sharing this story?

In the VIBE Method of Emotional Weight Release with Coach Elaine, we work on the emotional side of our journey. After having a breakthrough in August, and continuing to work while learning the VIBE Method, things are looking better than they have in a really long time.

A few weeks ago, it looked like I had lost a significant amount of weight. As a result, I am not focusing on the fluctuations right now. Instead, I am focusing on being kind to myself, and making smarter choices. I no longer eat quickly. Dessert isn’t an option every evening. I am not letting food determine how I plan my day. (This is HUGE for me).

After I expressed the feelings of turmoil, I participated in a private coaching session. When the weight climbed up higher on the scale, I wasn’t sure I handled week three the way I was supposed to. I knew I would need help to find out why I felt like things were in turmoil. I used this word to describe how I was feeling in week four. It was our last week, and I didn’t understand why I felt that way.

We started what was supposed to be a 45 minute session with my uncertainty. I shared this with Coach Elaine, and she wanted to run through all four weeks in a recap with me. Not in the detail of each week as we worked in the group, but to review what I had worked on to find out where the bump in the road was.

Putting it all together

After our two hour long additional coaching session, I am really glad we scheduled an extra session. It was the right thing for me to do, to ask for help.

Upon further reflection and discovery, we worked through one of the processes again. I realized that when I was four, the battle of the wills was when I started feeling like I wasn’t being HEARD. I was screaming, but what I had to say didn’t matter, because in this instance, I was wrong. When I have something to say, I give up when someone is not listening to me. This is something I am working on.

I wouldn’t say I have ever lost my voice, however I have had to learn how to speak louder so that I can be heard, and more importantly, taken seriously. For this to be effective, I have to believe in myself.

During our coaching session, the words VALUE and WORTHY became a part of the conversation. I needed to explore why the salt cod incident was so prominent in my mind. We were working with the first memory we had when our feelings weren’t validated.

The screaming match is what I remembered. Not that it was abusive, not that it was meant to hurt me, but because what I was expressing was not being treated as a valid reason for what I was trying to do.

Where does the dream come into the picture?

The night before last, I had a dream. It was what I was waiting for to help me to write this entry. I was dreaming that I managed to spend time with a movie star. I won’t put a name to him, I will leave it to your imagination. He was telling me that he wished I wasn’t married.

Even in my dreams, I remain loyal to my husband. I have had other dreams, and I always put a stop to things before they get carried away, even in my subconscious mind. I love my husband so much, I couldn’t ever dream of cheating on him. Not even with a movie star.

This movie star was put into the friend zone, in my dream. The next part of my dream had me telling Roy that I was elated because this movie star found me desirable. Worthy of wanting a relationship with. We were talking about my feelings, and the word JOY came to my mind. I was feeling absolute joy that someone other than my husband found value in having a conversation with me. The next words I received were: Isn’t it obvious? Everything was clicking into place. The work I have been doing in my conscious mind has crossed into my subconscious and into my dreams.

Before I woke up, Roy and I were trying to find this movie star at the end of my dream. Roy was helping me because I really wanted to express my gratitude to him for the messages I was receiving. I woke up before I was able to complete this, but it wasn’t a necessary step for my own progress. I got the message.

What I have to say does have value. I am worthy of love, just as I am.

I may not have all the answers, but I am open to the messages I need to receive to be able to grow as a person and make the changes I need to reflect on the outside the work I am doing on the inside.

#TrustYourGut

#TishspirationTuesday Week 1 What is Tishspiration Tuesday?

#TishspirationTuesday Week 1 What is Tishspiration Tuesday?

In an effort to get back on track with my blogging, I have decided to change up the Tuesday category. I love Treasure Seeker Tuesdays, and I am hoping that I was not alone in that sentiment. The time has come to try something new. #TishspirationTuesday Week 1 What is Tishspiration Tuesday? I might not even know yet.

I am going places.

I am going places.

Yes, I am writing my first book. Yes, I just took on a new project at work. Yes, I am planning a limited jewellery collection to be launched with my first (and every) book. Yes, draft 2 is in progress, in preparation for editing. Yes, I am all over social media, and I even got Instagram before I got a cell phone so that I can contribute there. I can follow I just can’t share there. Yes, I do talk to my husband when I am awake, and maybe in my sleep too.

No, I have not managed to hire a maid to keep up with the housekeeping. No, I have not hired a chef to keep me on track with my meal plans. No, I do not sleep very much when I am in a high creativity & productivity cycle. No, I haven’t been to Zumba regularly this summer. I will be changing that as soon as possible.

I drink my coffee black (which I review alternately with wine reviews on my Facebook live videos) and I take really good multivitamins. I try to eat healthily, and although I still have pop for a treat, I have basically given it up as an everyday beverage. I am making changes.

I ended the Birthday Bling Club. It did not get the number of subscribers I had hoped for. I have replaced it with a closed secret group to help people like me stay motivated and accountable with weight issues. It is going well. Now if only I could get back on track with my own weight loss goals…

What on Earth am I doing now?

I’ll bet some of you are wondering. There are days when even I am wondering…

I am shaking things up. I am using the momentum created by the positivity I have surrounded myself with to try and give you all a glimpse into the possibilities into what your own potential is.

That was a mouthful, wasn’t it?

Tishspiration. The Art of Surprising Yourself. Once upon a time, these two concepts were not linked. Until I thought about it. Someone I spoke with encouraged me to somehow find a way to meld these two things together. Now, it is as if they were never separate concepts. I made the term. I defined it. And now, I am going to run with it!

Tishspiration has been hovering around in my mind since April 2018, but it has had a much longer history than when I put a name to it. I will be writing a book to describe it in more detail. That will be book 2. I have to get book 1 written, published, and shared from my heart with the world before I can shift gears and get to work on book 2.  I can’t wait to explore what all of this means for me, and what it could mean for you.

As it grows and develops, there will be opportunities. Some will help me to fine tune this concept I have created into something that will change over time. I have been working on this in the background while doing all of the above. I have to keep going. You can witness all of it. I am hoping that when the time is right for you, you will take the leap with me. It all starts here. Now.

Are you with me?

tishspirationstation@gmail.com

Let’s start a conversation about this little thing I call #Tishspiration!

Treasure Seeker Tuesday 28: Success 2018 Revisited

Treasure Seeker Tuesday 28: Success 2018 Revisited

Hello Treasure Seekers! This is a little past the cutoff time for Tuesday, but I am determined to revisit Success 2018 as we are halfway through the year. Previously, in Treasure Seeker Tuesday #11, I revealed that my word to define 2018 would be Success.

I thought it was time to check in with my list, to see how far I have come.

15. Launching my Website on January 1st, 2018. (I have 14 more days to work on this)

If you are reading this, it is on my own website. Success.

14.Learning how to make a proper Launch and Landing page before the website launch on January 1st, 2018. Also setting up an email list and starting a newsletter.

This project is still in progress. It is on the way to success.

13. Finish writing more than 1 book. At least 2 published and writing my Fantasy Trilogy Book 1 by a year from now.

I am working on the second draft of book 1. I have set deadlines.

From Where I am Sitting, A Collection of Cat Tales by Tish Mac Webber September 30, 2018

The Art of Surprising Yourself (which has since become the definition of #Tishspiration) December 2018.

It is on the way to success.

12. Supplementing my income with sales from my website.
Book Sales will come with launch & publishing dates. Book Bling will Launch with the books. I have borrowed a camera to start taking better quality pics of my Bling for the online store. Basic Bling will be available before I start Book Bling in September.

It is on the way to success.

11. Plan a real vacation. 2 weeks. Need to fly to get there and back. 2 days before and after, 10 days at the destination.

I have booked a vacation and we will be heading to Nova Scotia. I am working on ideas for what to write about while I am in Cape Breton.

Sometimes we have to compromise. I am taking a 10 day vacation, but not getting on a plane.

Success.

10. Jewellery sales increasing after adding the jewellery to the website.

See # 12. It is on the way to success.

9.Using my 2 new 2018 planners to the fullest extent.

I am struggling with this. I have 6 more months to figure it out. Needs more effort.

8. Purging things. Lots of things. More than last year.

Started and stopped. I will need to get this going. It is Yard Sale Season. Needs more effort.

7. Finishing the Housecleaning challenge. A Bowl Full of Lemons runs it, check it out online here. There is a Facebook Group, but it is a closed group. You will need to ask to join it if you are interested in that.

Really struggling. I have company coming soon, and I am hosting a potluck in 2 weeks. Time to get’er done! Needs more effort. (Right away)!

6. Having a job related to the field of writing.

I will resume pursuing this goal after vacation is over. Needs more effort.

5.Collaborating with musicians to get at least one of my songs recorded and playable for other people to hear. Writing more lyrics.

#Help If you are a musician, we should strike up a conversation. A true collaboration is what I am looking for, a win/win. I really do want to get the songs out of my head and onto the radio. Needs more effort.

4. Getting a new pet (or a duo).

After vacation, this will be a realistic goal. It is on the way to success.

3. Becoming more active.

I did more Zumba lately. I walked and pulled a muscle in my foot. Le sigh. I am gingerly back to Zumba. It is on the way to success.

2. Lose weight the right way.

I started a Hydration challenge. This caused concern on my facebook wall, as I am aiming for 5 Litres of water a day, and people that care about me expressed their concern. I am researching and requesting guidance from my Diabetes Case Manager, and my own doctor.
I am eating more home cooked meals and working on giving up pop as a daily treat. I will still have some on occasion, but not every day any more. It is on the way to success.

1. Become a Best Selling Author.

Biggest goal here. I am working on it. It is on the way to success.

So if you were keeping track, 2 Successes, 9 items on the way to success, and 4 items need more effort.

Progress is progress.

Success 2018 Desk, notepad, pen, laptop and coffee for Tishspiration

Success 2018 Desk, notepad, pen, laptop and coffee for Tishspiration

I have surpassed my list with 2 things in 2018. My #DanceWithJanet audition is a total success, even if I didn’t get that call, because I did it. I used this to start rebranding my entrepreneurial dreams, by creating the YouTube Channel, Tishspiration Station. Wait, what? Did I jump into the YouTube world too? Um yeah, I did. I needed a place to link the dancing videos from to share them here on the blog. I am taking the #Tishspiration with me, and running with it. There I go again, surprising myself. I had no ambition to do this until I had the dance videos to share. I will be developing it to go along with book launches to start. As you know, I just go with things sometimes. I don’t know where this little left turn will take me, but here I go!

How are you doing at the 6 month mark of 2018? Are you checking your list off? Let me know in the comments.

#TreasureSeekerTuesday

 

Treasure Seeker Tuesday 28: Success 2018 Revisited

Treasure Seeker Tuesday #27 Beginning again

Hello Treasure Seekers! It’s Tuesday! Here I am starting fresh. It is like I am beginning again! I know it has been a while since I have been blogging, and my new schedule will have me writing in this category every two weeks, instead of every week. I really needed a break, and it is time to get back into the Blogging habit. It is a good thing for me to do, and I enjoy Blogging.

I am writing my first book. I have put aside the first draft to begin again, this time with a second draft. The first draft hasn’t been shredded, in fact, it will help me to perfect my second draft. Some of it is definitely worthy of making it into my book. Other parts need to be written with a new perspective, to have it in the correct point of view. I had to get a feel for where I am going with the stories and to do that, I needed time to think about what I did, and what I want to do.

One of my gifts is that I love to write, and tell stories. I have written song lyrics, and a poem or two. I have written a lot here on the Blog, and some people have told me that it is like a journal. In a way, it is. It is written from my heart, and that is where all of my stories come from. I used to write in journals, so maybe that is why it may read like a journal to some people. For me, it is not the same.

There is a lot more thought behind what I write here. My journals were written when I was a teenager and a young adult. They were a lot less polished, more raw than what I write here on the blog. Nevertheless, I treasure all of the words I write, like the hidden gems they are.  Some are kept hidden, from my past, and they will stay there. It is where they belong. The Blog is constantly being polished to shine. Every change I make is heading in the right direction for me. I am hoping that you are still going to be reading as I keep writing. That is another one of my treasures. You.

This afternoon, when I got home from work, I checked my Stats. I know the GDPR is coming up, and I am working on preparing my website for the change. I have seen very low activity in the past little bit. Imagine my surprise when I saw a jump in the numbers! It went from 3 or fewer views to 24! Weekend Warrior from this past weekend stirred up some views. That makes me smile, to know that people have been waiting for me to write more Blog stories.

Wow. For those of you that are with me on this adventure, thank you. Really. It means a lot to me when the numbers reflect that you are paying attention. I write for you to read because you matter to me. My stories mean something to you too. I hope that this pattern continues and that you will stick with it and with me. Oh my gosh, this just makes me smile!

So how can I help you to grow in your own way with me? It is something I have been thinking about when I was preparing for this story. I have started so many new projects in the last year and a half. I have tried new things and challenged myself. Sometimes, there have been things that didn’t work. I am too stubborn to just quit. I am just not that kind of a person. I may stop in my tracks to get my bearings, and then go full speed ahead in whatever direction I need to go next. How can you do this?

Trust Your Gut! Ha! If you read my Blog, that is another category, but the title lends itself here with a different purpose. Start with one thing. Something that scares you a little. Or challenges you. Go with it. If it doesn’t work, there are two possibilities. Either it isn’t your thing (which means you need to try something different next time) or you need to rethink what happened, and try it again from a different angle. That is it. It is okay to try things and decide that you don’t want to do them again. The important thing is to keep trying new things. Keep pushing for what you really want, even if you are scared, even if you don’t know what that thing you want is yet. Time is going to pass whether you watch it or become a part of it. I choose to participate, and what an adventure I have begun. I am on my way to things I never thought I would be able to do. I am, in fact, surprising myself. You have the power to do it too, if you decide to participate in your own life, instead of watching it pass you by. Do something new! Let me know what you did in the comments below. I can’t wait to help you discover new things about yourself. I want to know what works for you, and what doesn’t.

Need an example? #DanceWithJanet was something I tried this spring. I thought about it, planned it in my mind, practiced when I got my feet to join in on the project. It took some convincing. I KNEW I wanted to do it. I didn’t know how. I do Zumba. I like it. I make up the moves that work for me to get through the class. That is what I did in my blooper reel. I spent 2 days filming, one with a friend, and one on my own. I did it. This past weekend, Janet Jackson was on the Billboard Awards. She was getting the Icon Award, and she did sing a little. Loved it. The thing that made me want to jump up and down was the little dance section at just over 2 minutes into the performance. She did her dance to IF! That is the song I chose for my audition. I was blown away. I am still giggling and shaking my head. Grinning from ear to ear. She must have watched. She may not add me to her show, but I might have added a touch of Tishspiration to her life. I have convinced myself of this, and that it wasn’t just a coincidence. #Tishspiration. It is a word I made up, with a whole lot of potential. I am going to use it to move forward with my journey. I am playing with my creativity and imagination, and it is really surprising me.

There is one final thing of note for my #DanceWithJanet audition. I did it. I sent it in. No regrets. I was on Twitter after the Award show, and one tweet stood out to me. Someone wrote, “I should have tried out for #DanceWithJanet.” Someone else out there regrets not doing something that I actually did. I am not the person with regrets. That is something I can think back on and smile. Scream a little, jump up and down about, and clap my hands for. I DID IT!

I was wondering today if Janet Jackson has any idea how much she impacted my life just for allowing me to try? Not only have I felt the joy of actually doing something to change my life, but the responses I got from friends and family were nothing short of amazing. The support and comments from so many people really made it worthwhile. Okay, and so did the actual completion of the project, but the reactions on the internet really surprised me. Nothing but positivity. For this, I also want to thank Janet Jackson. I didn’t know how many people truly cared about me and what I am doing in my life. It makes me think that I am on the right path and that I must keep going. #Tishspiration is just beginning. Wait until you see what I am working on next! There is a hint at my Youtube channel, Tishspiration Station. By the way, if you didn’t see the Audition video, or the progress/blooper reel, you can find them there. It is where the word Tishspiration started, with that audition video, so it is fitting that they were my first two videos on my Youtube Channel. I am conceptualizing what to tackle next there. It won’t be anything with music or dancing at this time, due to copyright laws. I am still crossing my fingers that the videos I have posted there keep the music. It was a part of the audition, so it was not in any way meant to do anything but share my adventure. It was never intended to earn money or claim any rights to the music. It was her sone, for her open competition. I can’t just do that with any music I love. There are songs that allow usage on Youtube. I may have fun someday with other songs and dances. For now, I am working on my first Vlog on youtube. Stay tuned! Vlog #1 TBA. I am just getting started on this adventure! I hope you will join me because I am glad that you are here!

#TreasureSeekerTuesday

 

Weekend Warrior #60 A Wedding and an Award Show

Weekend Warrior #60 A Wedding and an Award Show

Hello Weekend Warriors! It has been a while, but I am trying to get back on track with the Blog. I am currently watching an Award Show after watching a Wedding yesterday. I along with a vast majority of the world, tuned in for the marriage of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. I hope they get to try Sussex Golden Ginger Ale for a toast some day. It is my preferred mix for whiskey.

Let’s back up a bit. Friday night we made the trip outside of the city to a smaller town to watch The Avengers Infinity War Movie. There was a lot to keep track of, but as a Marvel fan, it did not disappoint. I look forward to watching it again, to catch anything I may have missed. I am looking forward to 2 other movies. I want to see Book Club because it looks hilarious. I am also wanting to see Deadpool 2. I cannot wait to laugh right from my toes at Deadpool 2. I really enjoyed the first one, in all its inappropriate hijinks.

I did not get up early to watch The Royal Wedding yesterday. I did record it, so I could watch it on my schedule. I had coffee, not tea. I cried a little, at the beauty of love. I don’t think I cried at weddings until I got married myself. I understand what it means, and the depth of feelings that are wrapped up in the ceremony. I felt it while watching Harry and Meghan.

People have hated on the wedding, the makeup, the dress, and well I have a few things to write about that. I thought Meghan looked beautiful Yes, she is an actress, but she wasn’t working yesterday. She was living her life and marrying a Prince. In real life. She wasn’t over the top, she was respectable and beautiful. The Queen is a tough critic, and there are a lot more restrictions in all things Royal that must be taken into consideration when The Queen of England is going to be an in-law. No pressure, with that and the whole world watching too.

I think it was lovely, start to finish, even with the fanfare, and the wild sermon. It was a memorable event, and I am glad I watched. It reminded me of my own wedding, and how it was very memorable, for a different reason. We got married on the day of Hurricane Earl, almost 8 years ago. If you can’t have yourself a Royal Wedding, then I recommend allowing the weather to make the day memorable. We survived, and they say rain is good luck on a wedding day. I wonder what a hurricane means?

On to Sunday. Today I went to Church, took a nap, fired up the barbeque, and watched the Billboard Music Awards. As you know, I entered the #DanceWithJanet competition. I didn’t get a call yet, so I wasn’t on stage. However, I think I might have made an impression on Ms Jackson. She used the same music clip that I did for my audition. That cannot just be a coincidence! I believe I may have had a teeny tiny success in #Tishspiration, in that she picked the same song I did for my audition for her performance tonight. I wasn’t there dancing, but my heart was singing! The whole experience was so much fun, and it might have just gone over the top!

I am trying to figure out what to do to prepare my website for GDPR. The deadline is Friday. I am going to see what WordPress.org and Bluehost where I purchased my domain name from have available for advice and options. The store is not live yet, so sales are not yet an issue. When I set the store up, I will have a better idea of what to do to be compliant. For now, I just have to get it as ready as I can in the next few days.

Other than that, I have been working on my Youtube Channel Art. Tishspiration Station is a new project.

This is what I came up with:

Tishspiration-noun-Tish-spi-ra-tion-The-Art-of-Surprising-Yourself

Tishspiration-noun-Tish-spi-ra-tion-The-Art-of-Surprising-Yourself

Tishspiration Station

I had a few trial runs for this project, but I am pleased with this result. Now to get back to things like oh, I don’t know, writing and jewellery designing. I am breaking up the quantity of blog posts to have more quality and more time for other projects. I am trying to get the new concept for my first book nailed down for the second draft of my first book. I am submitting other writing projects for publication in a few different places. I am finalizing the concept for the Cat Tales Jewellery Collection. The Book Bling will have small collections, maybe one piece per book. It is meant to be specific to the book and has meaning for the fans. I have 3 concepts for my first 3 books.  I have a lot on the go, all the time.

What did you do this weekend?

#WeekendWarrior