Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 42
I got creative in the kitchen, yesterday. It has been a while. I made brown rice and added fresh mushrooms, green onion, and leftover roast beef in it. I used hoisin sauce. It was in the cupboard, so I used it. It made supper for 2 last night, and my lunch today. I have a little roast beef and green onion left for my roast beef special sandwich for lunch tomorrow. I really love roast beef, green onion, tomato, mayo and A1 sauce done up like a roast beef salad sandwich. My mom named it The Roast Beef Special, and I make it every time I cook a roast beef in the oven.
It has been a busy year for me. I have been working hard on the book, the website, the organizing, the blog, and building my business from the ground up. I have spent hours working on all of these things, but I think I forgot something along the way. Me. My health. I got lazy.
It is so much easier to be lazy and not do the work needed to live a healthier lifestyle. I have lost and gained. I am again scared to weigh myself. I am just not wanting to know the bad news. I am getting back into the practice of making better choices. I have to. My health depends on it.
I have had to work on the insulin levels again. That means I am doing better, when I start having lows it means I am needing to lower the dose. That means my body is responding to the things that I am doing right.
We are on the edge of a food-centered holiday. I am not sure how well I will do. On one hand, I can make treats and try to stick to the THM plan. It is a good way to try to plan ahead. There will be times, though when I will not be in control of the meal, and I will have to make the best choices that I can at the time. Other times I will make things that I know will be good choices to have to eat when I can. So I do have a plan. Sort of.
I also need to start making the moonshine again. Yes, you read that right. THM has a recipe for Good Girl Moonshine. GGMS as it is called, has water, apple cider vinegar, and ginger with a sweetener in it. I add Black Cherry Berry Celestial Seasonings tea to mine. I really enjoy drinking it, and it makes you run to release it if you catch my drift. I have learned that I should not drink it during the day while I am at work. I can have it after work and on the weekends, though. I bought a mason jar with a spout just for the GGMS. I think it is time for a test run. I need to start making little changes now so that I will be on track for 2018.
Have you started thinking about New Year’sResolutions yet? I have, and I will get them organized and plan things out better this year. I did a lot in 2017. What do I want to accomplish in 2018? More. I want to take everything I have done in 2017 and do it better in 2018. It is a place to start, and to build on. That is something I can do, start with little things, and push my limits and go for everything. One thing at a time, then another, and another. I have to start somewhere, and I am not going to wait. The only one that loses out if I keep putting things off is me. And the only thing I want to lose is weight. The time is now.
#TrustYourGut
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 35
They say that the core muscles are where your strength comes from. Mine hurt today. I had an awesome Zumba class yesterday. I didn’t feel like I worked out that hard, but I felt it last night when I was getting ready for bed. I am getting ready to start pushing myself in the writing game. This means I need to be active, or I will be a blob of goo in December.
I am not kidding. I have fallen way off track this fall, and I am working on getting my head back in the game. I need to put together a plan. I have been talking about this for a while. Thinking, not doing. Sometimes it is because I have other things that take priority. It happens to everyone. This or that becomes a priority.
The next thing you know, there are so many things that are a priority, you get left behind. I think that is what I am fighting with myself about right now. The importance of me.
I still have not checked in with the scale. I won’t do it until I am feeling brave. That won’t be until I am making strides in the right direction. I need to start wanting to track my progress. I can’t do that to myself right now. I don’t want to know how badly I have let things slide. I do want to pick myself back up and start wondering again.
I had some lows this week. That is a sign that I am turning a corner. When I am noticing that I need to lower my insulin doses again, it means that things are starting to work in my body. I have found that I am not able to go with a Zero carb diet. That is why I am positive that THM is the best option for me. I am getting there.
Writing about it helps. I am trying to inspire myself with my words. I have accomplished so much two weeks ago and nothing of significance this week. Except for the change in my blood sugars and getting myself to Zumba. That means this weekend I have some work to do. If I am going to be successful next month with my writing goals, I need to get serious about planning EVERYTHING out.
Time to make some lists. Time to make some changes. Time to make progress. Last but not least, time to make ME important enough to be a priority in my own life.
#TrustYourGutThursday
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 20
Vacation. It is that time of year when people are travelling and going to celebrations with friends and family. Vacation time can be a tricky thing on days when you aren’t in control of the food and drink that you may consume. This can pose a difficult problem if you are committed to your plan and goals.
You want to be invited to all of the events. You want to participate in the fun. For me, the fun includes eating and drinking the same things as everyone else. So it is a tricky tightrope to walk on when you are trying to fit in, even though it may not be the best way for you to stay the course.
I have to constantly check my blood sugars. That is helpful. I can adjust the insulin I have to take to adapt to what I am eating. But as I have written before, sometimes that dosage is a guessing game, at best.
I experienced a low last week. It was a bad one. Maybe more because it caught me by surprise, and also because of how long it has been since the last time I had a low. It isn’t a simple fix, it takes time for my body to recover from a blood sugar low. This time it took me two and a half hours to feel normal again.
Highs are no better. I feel really tired, to the extreme of me not being able to physically stay awake. There are times that I am literally fighting with myself to stay awake. It is not because I am needing sleep, this too is a side effect of the high sugars, and it is a little hard to explain. The closest I can come is that it is not something that you can control, only fight it. I am usually aware of what is happening at the time it is happening to try and recover. But it is not an easy thing to do.
When you have to think about the effects of everything that you eat and drink, it makes it hard to fit in at gatherings. A lot of them have sweets and cake and even alcoholic beverages are a source of empty calories. So what is a person to do when faced with all of these temptations?
Think about the occasion. What would be acceptable to participate in? What choices can you make? Skip the cake or the ice cream? Or eat salads earlier in the day so you can indulge a little at the celebration?
After all, only you control what you eat or drink. It is up to you. It doesn’t matter to anyone else whether or not you eat that cake or not. It really only matters to you. When you are planning a vacation, keep in mind that sometimes you will have complete control over what you eat and drink, and sometimes you will have to go with the flow. The trick is proper planning and to not go overboard when you do participate in celebrations. Remember to drink your water too, it can help speed up the recovery time of eating or drinking off plan. Really, it is all about balance, both on and off the scale.
#TrustYourGut
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 14
Getting back on track is easier said than done. It takes determination and effort. I have missed a few Zumba classes. I went today. I was eating anything and everything, the last few weeks. I prep cooked earlier in the week. My insulin is now working well enough to lower my doses again. Some days it is a fight just to get motivated to do what I should be doing. Other days I feel prepared to tackle everything. I am gearing up for another run at living a healthier lifestyle.
Last week I was watching the scale climb. This week it is starting to go down. I am working hard to try and stay on plan as much as I can, and it is working.
The last few months I have been consciously trying to drink more water. It is a good idea, not just for me, but for everyone. It would be better if I enjoyed drinking water. I have to force myself to drink water, sometimes. I have a drinking buddy, my straw! I need to get it in quickly or I won’t drink as much water in a day. Straws certainly help with that.
It is time to get out the measuring tape again. Still, nothing to report. With the last few weeks of being sick, I will have to take the number on the scale moving down as my encouragement. It is good that it is going the right way again.
My heart rate was steady in class. I do love that I can check it. Now I have to keep a better focus on what I eat and how much insulin I am taking because my body has come around to responding to it well, again. That happens when I work hard. I feel better so I want to do more and I do that and I feel even better. It is possible. Just not when I am sick. Everything goes out the window when I am sick.
I did go to the doctor last week. He gave me a different antibiotic. I bought a probiotic to take with it because we all know the warnings about what happens when you take one antibiotic, and now I have had to take two. It has been a little challenging to keep track of when I have to take what medicine. The good news is that it appears to be working, and worth the trouble.
This week I am feeling more optimistic. When I feel like doing things, there is a better chance that they will get done. I am finally feeling like trying again. So lesson learned. When my sugars are skyrocketing out of control, it is not me, or what I am or am not eating; I am probably sick. Which is good to know, because I don’t remember this happening when I was off work with my infected knee. There is a good reason for that. Painkillers. I was on some heavy-duty painkillers.
I am sleeping better this week. Quality sleep is also important in the struggle to live a healthier lifestyle. If you are well rested, it will boost the energy. Again, you can do more. It can snowball in the right direction. It is happening for me right now. It can happen to you too. If you need help, ask. Don’t be afraid. If you don’t ask for help, it might be too late. We are all worth helping. We are all worth loving. Believe it. When you believe that you are worth investing your own time and energy into, good things will happen for you too. One change becomes two, then three and so on. What change are you going to work on this week?
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13
I am retaining water. The scale is climbing. I am still fighting a sinus infection and on antibiotics. I am not scared to eat this week (I see the results of that on the scale) because my insulin and my body have started working together again. That being said, I still do not feel well. I am getting my sugars back under control, which is a good sign. I am still experiencing sinus pain and pressure, my face is still puffy, and the headache is still bouncing around with an aura or two just to keep things interesting.
Where am I headed with my story this week? Back to the doctor. My sugars were slipping out of control for a while now, and I was avoiding a trip to the doctor because I thought I was doing something wrong. I was not eating the healthiest choices and was blaming myself for the sugars being high.
People talk about that little voice in your head. The negative one. The one that whispers so quietly you aren’t even really sure if it is in there, but it is. It’s the one that says my sugars are high because I am failing at my diet and the doctor isn’t going to want to help me anymore because I am not doing my part to take care of myself. It is whispering that it is OK to try that ice cream because it is a new flavour and once you try it, you won’t wonder about it anymore. Don’t get me wrong, treats are OK, but they aren’t meant to be an everyday thing in the life of a person with type 2 diabetes. If I didn’t give in a little once in a while, I would give up and stop caring altogether, and that is not the path I want to walk on.
Another little voice is nagging in the back of my head, telling me that there might be something REALLY wrong. Like when my knee was infected and my life had to go on pause in order to fight that infection and get better. My knee still hurts, a little, from time to time. It is not a muscle pain from any exercise related injury. It still feels like jello sometimes. You want to know the scariest part about that whole experience? They still don’t know why or how it became infected in the first place.
I did what the doctors said. I stayed as still as possible. I got better. I wore bandages for two months on my calves to reduce the fluid in them so I could be fitted for compression stockings. They work really well because I force myself to exercise. I have a job where I need to sit for most of my day. I listen to music in my down time, and I dance in my chair. I have a stool at my desk to elevate my feet to keep the fluids from pooling in my calves. I put up my feet and bounce in my chair as much as I can. Sitting still in a chair all day is not good for anyone. So I move around to keep the blood pumping, and the music does keep me in a decent mood at work.
I have missed Zumba a lot the last few weeks. With a migraine, I didn’t go. With the sinus infection, I didn’t go. I have decided that I need to revisit the doctor I saw last week. I am on day 8 of the antibiotics. Day 10 is on a Friday. The doctor is only at the clinic Monday to Friday. Saturday is not a day I want to spend waiting to see a doctor. I am not getting better fast enough. I need more help.
When you have issues with weight, it is easier to live in denial about the state of your health than to go to the doctor about it. It is a vicious cycle. Eat sleep avoid living and just exist. If you are morbidly obese like I am (I am fighting for the day I can stop having to use that description for my weight) then it is just that. It is so much easier to not care and eat whatever you want and be miserable on the inside, faking the happy person you appear to be on the outside.
Because it is all a huge cover up. Acting. Pretending everything is OK. It’s not. Anybody that has issues with their weight like I do is not happy. Not truly. And if you are listening to that little voice and believing it when it says that the junk food will make you happy, you are letting that little voice in your head lie to you. And you are falling for it every time you listen.
If you are like me, there are discussions that happen with more than one voice in your head at the same time. (That will be a good thing when I am hearing the characters from my book talk in my head when I write). I spend more time talking myself out of things than I do talking myself into them. Because it is easier to do the thing that is not the best choice most of the time. Easier does not mean better. If you want something, you have to work for it. It is easy to be fat. It is hard work to be healthy.
And then the littlest voice of all whispers that I will still need surgery when I lose the weight because I will have flaps of skin left hanging around. It is a fight I have been having inside of my head for years. That one little voice has been working against my wishes to be a healthier person. It is so quiet, and then it sneaks in and gets a little pushier and louder and then I realize I went off plan again. I tell myself that I won’t feel guilty about it, but I have layers and layers of guilt protecting my body from the healthier person that I could be.
I have also had a former doctor treat me like a hypochondriac. I stopped wanting to go to the doctor because he wasn’t listening to me, or taking anything I was telling him seriously. When he moved away I was lucky that my next doctor was one of the good ones. He is an advocate for people that try to improve their health, and he was supporting me in my efforts to become a healthier person.
Last month a letter came in the mail. My current doctor is moving away too. I am afraid that the next doctor will be another bad one. So scared that I have been avoiding making an appointment to go, and avoiding my regular blood work as I know the numbers are not going to be good. Not at all. I am secretly terrified of what is going to happen when I get another doctor. That is not how I want to live my life.
So, I am going to the clinic in the morning before work tomorrow. Not where my new doctor will be, but to the one in the mall where I work. He diagnosed the sinus infection, and he saw me a little more than a week ago. I need to feel like trying again. So I am going to ask for more help. Because what I am doing now isn’t working, and it is time to try something different. I want to be better. I want to get back to living my life, not just merely surviving it. It is hard to go back to the doctor because I am scared that I will be told to give the antibiotics more time. Or that he will prescribe the same ones for a longer time. That is a part of the reason the other doctor thought I was a hypochondriac. He thought everything that was wrong with me was because of my weight. He made me doubt myself, and that is why I am having such a hard time with all of this.
My gut tells me that the antibiotics aren’t working. Tomorrow I will let the doctor know what I think, and I hope that he will help me find another way to feel better. I hope that a week from now I am back to prep cooking, and Zumba, and feeling like trying to be that healthier person I want to become, again.
Trust Your Gut.