by Tish MacWebber | Feb 2, 2017 | Trust Your Gut
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people that have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them, as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
Here is the first of many Trust Your Gut stories, I am starting with my own, Tish’s Story.
I have always struggled with my weight. My issues began as a child. I have always been overweight. Growing up, dessert was used as a reward for eating all my supper. I used to gobble all of my supper as fast as I could and be the first one done so I could have my dessert. When I was in grade eleven, my mom and I went through weight watchers together. I was at goal weight when I graduated from high school and went to university. Then I was in charge of what happened. I got sick, in my first year. I fought mononucleosis and tonsillitis at the same time. While I was sick, my throat was very sore. When I was able to be at class, I dozed while taking notes. Doctors wanted me to eat, they were concerned that my sore throat would prevent me from eating and that the illnesses could cause an unhealthy weight loss. I was told to eat whatever I wanted, as long as I was eating.
I took that literally and ate whatever I wanted during my university years. When I finally graduated, it was six years later. Cafeteria food didn’t always win with the healthier choices. It was hard to choose salad over french fries. When I moved off campus and into my own apartment, I had more control over what I was eating, and a budget to deal with. Eating healthy is not easy to do when you are on a budget. I still struggle with that now, but it is easier with a larger budget for groceries. At that time, it was easier to have fast food and the less healthy options for groceries, because they would be more affordable.
As my weight ballooned more and more out of control, I developed other health issues. I became a Type 2 Diabetic. I was also diagnosed with thyroid disease. I take one pill a day for this, and I will have to forever. I am OK with that. Then I tested positive for sleep apnea. I have not started any medical treatment for this condition. These health issues are a normal combination for someone who is considered on the BMI scale to be morbidly obese.
The first time I heard that term, it had shock value. I didn’t know how to react. A term like that is really hard to apply to yourself. Being so overweight that you could die from it. It’s a lot to absorb when you don’t feel like it applies to you. I know I am overweight, don’t get me wrong. But there is some denial there too. Until the scale hits a certain number.
For me, and this is hard for me to put out there, I weighed more than 300 lbs. There, I wrote it. It is just a number, but it is a really significant one. I remember sharing a different, lower weight with a friend in university, who replied, “No, you can’t weigh that much. You don’t look like you weigh that at all. You carry it well.” This added to my denial of my weight problems. I didn’t look like I weighed that much, so it was OK to keep going like I was.
Only it didn’t stop there. I was close to 320 lbs at my highest weight. At that point in my life, I made a decision, after finding an ad on facebook for Trim Healthy Mama (THM). What I was doing wasn’t working, so it was time for me to make some changes. That was my aha moment, as it is commonly called. What I was doing was not working so I had to make a change.
I have implemented several changes in my journey to becoming a healthier person. I am following the Trim Healthy Mama plan. If you want to learn more, this is a link for your own research: https://trimhealthymama.com/
I am not on plan 100% of the time, but I have adapted it in my life over the last year. I have successfully lost 15-20 pounds since I started making small changes. I am bouncing between the two, and on the verge of two-ville (299.99 lbs). That is retaking my first small victory, to be under 300 lbs. The next goal is 290. Going by 10 lbs at a time is reasonable goal setting at this stage. Too large of a goal will cause self-defeat because it is too long between accomplishments. When I no longer have 20 lbs to lose, I will decrease the goals accordingly. I have a lot of work ahead of me, and a long way to go.
Another change I have made was to become more active. For a few years, I have been going to Zumba Classes twice a week. I did extra walking also, my Zumba teacher has dogs, and there was a steady time that I was going to visit and help her walk the dogs. She and her rescue dogs were rescuing me from being a couch potato. 🙂 In the spring I hope to adopt a rescue dog of my own, so I can start having a reason to walk every day.
I started noticing a trend from people I know, or people that are my friends through social media; and even on tv, the new show This is Us. Weight loss surgery is something that people are doing. This is why I decided to start this blog series. Weight loss surgery is not for me, and I have my reasons at this point for saying so. I can still move, therefore if I put in the work, I can make changes to lose the weight. I am not fooling myself. I see what happens when I do work really hard, and I have had success with THM. When I work hard I see results. It is up to me. So with that mindset, I am doing it. For me and my health.
Being a type 2 diabetic is something I would not wish on anyone. While I am on THM, I have noticed some trends in my blood sugars, the most significant one being I have sugar lows. This is a new and scary side to being a diabetic. It also means that there is hope that my body can start effectively producing and using its own insulin. I have been on insulin for about ten years now. I take 2 types, one short acting, and one long acting. I went from 2 needles a day to 5. This is what a person fears the most when they hear the words from a doctor, confirming that they are a diabetic. That you have to take insulin. You have to take needles. It is hard to adapt to this at first. What do you tell people, when you are taking insulin? Stabbing sounds violent. It is what I said at first. Then I decided it wasn’t the correct term, it was more like jabbing. Then it clicked. One morning I was trudging into the bathroom to take my insulin, and I blurted out to my roommate, ” I have to go Jabba the gut.” It stuck, and he thought it was hilarious. I have a fantastic sense of humour, and I do love a good pun. It takes an unpleasant necessary action and makes it funny.
A good sense of humour is something I can be proud of. It is a part of me that keeps me going. Laughter is something I do enjoy sharing. I take great pride in delivering a successful pun or joke. Sometimes people don’t know that my joke was actually thought about before I tell it. 😉 Some people think I tell too many stories, and don’t want to wait for the punch line. My sense of humour is a huge part of my coping mechanism, and I rely on it heavily, pun intended. It is a great deflector, to take the focus off me and my health, and to laugh about something else instead.
It is no laughing matter. Wearing size 24/26 clothing, and having to take 5 needles a day is no fun. I have started my weight loss journey, and I am going to keep going. I owe it to myself. No matter what your weight issues are, they are yours. You have to decide that your health is worth the effort. You are worth it. Whether your issue is being overweight, like myself, or if you are on the other end of the scale, and underweight, you are worth more than what the number is on the scale.
I wanted to start this series to try and help people like me. I have chosen my path, and I intend to keep on it. It won’t be straight and narrow, I am a curvy woman who likes to choose the path less travelled; when I am not forging a new path on my own. I am hoping that by sharing my story, and other people’s stories, that this series will make people with weight issues start thinking and talking about it. It is an issue for a lot of people, and by sharing our stories and information, we can help someone out there that needs to make some changes but doesn’t know where to start, or what options are out there. I intend to write more Trust Your Gut stories, with help from other people, so that someone out there can have their aha moment, and start making changes towards their own healthier lifestyle.
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 23, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
Here is another Tish-ism for you. In my efforts to live a healthier lifestyle, I have added in two Zumba classes a week. I do my best to be there, barring migraines and having to stay late at work once in a blue moon, I go. Living in Canada, sometimes weather is an issue. I am working on getting more active besides my Zumba classes, but for now, it’s my main activity every week. Winter + Ice = Tish is scared to fall down. So outdoor activities are not a thing for me in the winter, without the proper equipment.
I had a good amount of positive energy today, and feel like my pedometer lied when it read 3700 steps. It felt like a million tonight, at least. I was in the Zumba Zone, and was literally working my butt off. I know what that means. When I go back to class Wednesday, I will be moving a little slower, and maybe in a little pain. The good kind. The kind of pain that is caused from exercise that was done correctly. It also means I worked out my muscles, and that I wasn’t just going through the motions.
At the end of a class, when I feel like this, the first thing that comes to mind is that I Zumba-(ed) too hard.
I don’t like pain. I don’t deal with it very well. Lately I have successfully convinced myself that there is a right kind of pain, and a wrong kind. The right kind means that your muscles worked out and did what they were supposed to do. That is why it is good, it was productive, no matter how bad it hurts. It is neither throbbing, nor a high amount of pain. The bad kind is counter productive. If you rip or pull a muscle, it hurts a lot. I pulled a ligament in one of my legs in elementary school. I was mid-stride and went from running to limping and crying. I had to wrap it and got a few days off from school. I still remember how much it hurt when it happened. I do not recommend trying this, ever.
No matter what is going on, I have come to enjoy going to Zumba. I love dancing. Sometimes it is not the same as what everyone else is doing, but I am still being active, no matter what I have to improvise. That is important.
So when I was in the middle of class today, I really felt like I was completely in my Zumba Zone, and I went for it. There are going to be days that I am not feeling up to giving 120% to the Zumba class. Today was not one of those days. I felt strong. When things work for me, I am all in. I left feeling like I had worked out today. That is a big deal. I am not an athletic type of person. I do enjoy swimming, and dancing. Biking is OK, but I haven’t had a bike for years. It’s the same for skating, I used to skate, but haven’t for years. I walk, and I am starting to pick up my pace again when I have errands to run in the mall where I work, or even just for moving to the break room. I sometimes feel my heart rate picking up, and even am short of breath when I push myself.
What am I getting at? Well, there are days when you feel good and strong, and on those days like today, it is a good plan to push yourself a little bit harder. If you do this, on the days you don’t feel up to the 120% and you aren’t in YOUR Zumba Zone, well, on those days 75% is OK. You are doing the best you can. For me it’s all about how I am feeling, and I know my limits. I don’t think I am to the point I was about six months ago when I could feel my abdominal muscles the next day, but I am on my way back. By the time the weather changes from winter to spring, I plan to be increasing my activity level. When I am ready. And when there is no more ice out there. Until then, I’ll keep going to Zumba, I don’t have any plans to stop for a long time to come.
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 13, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
A part of my New Healthy Lifestyle that I have been working towards for more than two years now has been adding physical activity into my routine. At my current job, there was a team for the local Relay for Life Charity event, and I joined. I have gone to a few Relay Events in the last five years, and that is where I found the Zumba Crew. The group size ranges from year to year, and class to class. The core group has remained, for the most part, the same. It is a private group, not that we don’t accept new members, but that it is not based out of a gym. We meet twice a week, and I have been working at it and getting better all the time.
The featured picture above was from Relay For Life 2016. This is just a few of us. The photo bomber Storm Troopers in the background looking like they want to be a part of the Zumba Crew really were there. They were in another group for Relay, and they gathered a lot of attention. But if you look past the Zumba Crew, you can see it. They want to join in. That happens around our Zumba Crew. We have a lot of fun!
As you can see, one of the Storm Troopers joined in for Zumba at Relay 2016. It was really fun! I have come a long way in my healthier lifestyle goals. I have always finished class. Not always doing the same thing as everyone else, or keeping the same pace, but I am there until the end. The first time I did Zumba at Relay, I had two; not one but TWO charlie horses in my calves. I wanted to quit. But I thought about where I was, and what I was participating in. Thought about how it was to raise money to cure cancer, and if you have cancer, and need to go through treatments, you can’t just quit in the middle if you want to beat it. So I toughed it out.
Since then, I have never had an experience quite like it. I am grateful for that. I have had health issues in the past year that forced me to take a break from Zumba. I am happy to report that I am back, and getting stronger again. I am keeping pace better, and trying harder at doing the same moves as everyone else. I have to do my own thing, sometimes, because I still have a long journey ahead of me to becoming a healthier version of myself. Something I want people to take away from reading this is that it doesn’t have to be Zumba, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. But if you pick something you enjoy doing and work at it on a regular basis, you will improve, and you will be a better person for it.
So go out there and try something new. Or get involved in something you used to like doing. Make friends. Have fun. It might be the best thing you can do for yourself! Trust me, the best part of my Mondays and Wednesdays is rushing out of work to go join my friends at Zumba Class. Find your Zumba, and start becoming the best version of you that you can be!
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 8, 2017 | Cooking Adventures
That is a picture of Chicken Bacon Ranch Casserole. It is one of my favourite Trim Healthy Mama recipes. Last year I stumbled across this plan, and thought I’d give it a whirl. I can say it works, as long as you work at it. I have been bouncing between fifteen and twenty pounds lost in the last year. From playing with it. I am never 100% on plan. But I have made some changes, and feel better when I try hard. So this is one of the reasons I am working harder at it this year.
I need to plan ahead for grocery shopping and cooking meals to stay on track. I have started prep cooking on weekends. Prep cooking for two doesn’t have to be complicated, unless the other person doesn’t want to eat what you have made. At first, I was disappointed with my husband for not wanting to do this with me. I had to take a step back, and think about how to progress with it, and keep us both happy.
There was a point when I realized that I was merely existing and not really living my life to its fullest potential. I came to that conclusion for myself, about myself. Not for him. So he will have to deal with his choices, like I am dealing with mine. I am choosing to try harder. Which means sometimes I cook his and hers lasagna. Other times we make spaghetti sauce and he makes pasta, while I have spaghetti squash with mine. Sometimes we eat the same thing. Sometimes I eat things that are not on plan, with him. Other times I make what I want and he has to feed himself. We manage.
Adapting the grocery list and budget for this was challenging. We use coupons when we have them. We circle what we want in the flyers before making our grocery list. And when I am on top of things, I pick a couple of recipes and add missing ingredients to my grocery list. That is work too. Not hard work, but it is time consuming. So it helps to have a time set aside for this. We like to go get the groceries together. One reason is that we are on a budget, and if I go alone, a sale could cause me to “forget” the budget. He keeps me within the guidelines of the budget. Also, it is good to have help getting it all in the house and put away.
Storage is another issue we have. Living in a mini home, we have to maximize the space we have. That is an ongoing struggle. It is part of the reason I am involved with the cleaning and organizational challenges. There would be more prep cooking done if I had the space and money for more storage containers. Also time. I would love to cook all weekend, but then, there is the cleanup. So that slows me down sometimes.
I have learned that one or two casseroles a week gives me enough food for lunches all week, and for some suppers. Which is reasonable. Until he doesn’t want anything I made. Which on the wrong day makes me angry. But I am learning to let that go, it’s not me he doesn’t want, it’s the food I made. Which by the way, is really tasty, the recipes rock! He just misses potatoes and veggies and meat. Together. I do eat sweet potatoes more than white potatoes, now. Sometimes we bake some of each. He turns his nose up at spinach. That’s why I make his and hers lasagna. He eats traditional, and I eat Lazy Lasagna, which does have spinach and no noodles. I have been teaching him to cook some things, so if he decides he wants something different, he has choices.
Ideally, there would be a way to cook enough for a whole month at a time, have containers to keep it in the freezer, and have him join me on this journey. Reality is that he doesn’t like spinach. So, in this like other aspects of our marriage, we choose to compromise. Sometimes that is the only answer, until he realizes I am right. Which he will, eventually, I have no doubt. Seeing is believing, and we will be seeing results this year. I plan on working hard at all of my goals for 2017.
by Tish MacWebber | Dec 5, 2016 | Weekend Warrior
Well, here I am, on day one of my staycation. I know, it’s not a real word; but it is in my world. I am prepping for my only Christmas Craft Show this year, Christmas In The Dobie; I am going to be working on my blogging and I will be working on this site as well. I have joined a couple of writing groups, in the hope of fulfilling one of my dreams to write a fantasy trilogy. I am now trying to get serious about this writing thing. Having this week off to work on projects that matter to me is going to be very motivational when I have to get back to work in a week’s time.
I have just started here. I have gotten feedback and help from strangers. That is something I have to say is great. I am a pantser which refers to me flying by the seat of my pants, not a plotter that plans things out and works in a structured format. Both styles are successful, if applied properly. So I am here, blogging, from the seat of my pants, and hoping to have others come along for the ride.
The feedback was constructive. I am working with advice from someone in another country, and she is showing me how to make this site more user friendly, and to attract more followers. In the land of blogging, this is what it’s all about. More hits, more followers, and more opportunities in the land of the internet and beyond.
The comment was very kind. Having a stranger take the time to read what I have written and quote a part of it in the comment was really cool. It gives me the courage to keep going.
It doesn’t only apply to the blog. I have been working at getting healthier too. When someone notices, and it is real, by that I mean I am losing weight, it feels wonderful. When someone says that I look like I am losing weight and I am not, I don’t feel good about the compliment. So it depends on me sometimes to be in the frame of mind to accept a compliment in the way it is intended. It is hard to not feel bad inside when it isn’t a real one, no matter how the intended comment was given. We have all had them, those compliments that people give because they are trying to say something nice and it backfires because it isn’t true. Until this year, I have never really felt like I had earned any compliments about losing weight. Because it wasn’t true, not since I went through Weight Watchers with my mom in grade 11&12.
Here’s the thing, though. Those comments aren’t being said to hurt me. They are telling me that I am looking better, whether it is about the weight or not. Maybe the clothes are fitting better because my body has changed since the last time I wore that outfit. Maybe I am happy and as an emotional girl, that shows, and that is what the person is seeing. Whatever is said, it is being said to encourage me to keep trying, and that is what I have to focus on.
It has taken me a LONG time to realize this. I have never been good at taking compliments to begin with, and I think it is because I don’t always feel like I have earned them. That boils down to me being way too hard on myself. It is the way I am. I don’t know how to be any other way.
So, I am trying to learn. It is not easy to change how I react to what people say. Taking the meaning behind the words is how I will be able to grow as a person, and thrive on the positivity. I have to filter out the feelings and run with the good stuff. I am getting better at this. It is something I have to consciously work at, though. Everybody isn’t out to get me or be mean. Some people are. I am going to encounter negative comments and feedback also. It will happen. But that is a different struggle. Those have to be released into a black hole somewhere in outer space, as far away from my heart as I can get them. Otherwise they will drag me down, and that isn’t where I want to live my life.
When I do something creative, like design a new pattern for earrings that is mine from concept to finished product, I feel genuinely accomplished. Proud of what I made, because it is my work, with my own pattern. When I get on the scale, and I don’t want a hammer because it is showing that my hard work is paying off, I shout out loud for everyone to hear, and then if someone says something nice, it does what it is supposed to. It makes me feel good.
Words matter. Choose yours carefully, and make the world a better place because of them. If you can help someone today by being kind, please do. It might be the only good thing that person hears all day, or even all week. It is nice to have something good to remember that tells you to keep going, and that you matter. We all do. If your words come from your heart and are meant to be nice, then go for it. It’s the thought that counts, and for some people, it will mean more than you will ever know.
