by Tish MacWebber | Feb 9, 2017 | Trust Your Gut
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 2.
It seems fitting that in part 2, I write about Type 2. I touched on it a little in the first part of my story, and now it is time to elaborate. I was diagnosed as a type 2 diabetic in 1999. At first, I was to eliminate sugar from my diet and try to follow the Canada Food Guide. Sugar is hidden in practically everything we eat and drink. Especially in processed foods. Without medication, and struggling to understand the diagnosis, I failed to regain control of my blood sugars. At first, I was constantly testing my blood sugars as high. Not the highest they have been, but consistently high.
After failing round one, using diet and exercise for treatment, metformin was added to manage my blood sugars. It came with a cocktail of other medications. As a diabetic, when you are diagnosed, some medical professionals consider preventative medications a necessary part of the treatment. They add in medicine that you would not be taking if you were not a diabetic, but because you are, they keep stricter than normal levels on things like blood pressure and cholesterol. Soon I was taking 3 prescription medications, and not sure if I really needed 2 of them.
I have acid reflux. Sometimes I forget about it because the medication I take for it keeps it under really good control. There were a few different types I tried, and I am still taking one medication for this. It works and keeps the heartburn and stomach acid at bay. I don’t generally eat really spicy foods, but who knew bananas could cause heartburn? So, this, like my thyroid medication is an acceptable one. I did not agree with having to take the blood pressure and cholesterol medications, but these other medications were acceptable.
Now, with my weight being what it is, I am still on a blood pressure medication. It has been higher than it used to be, and I am working on things with my plan. I am not currently on a cholesterol medication. I hope that I can control both my blood pressure and cholesterol, without medicine; when I accomplish my goals of losing weight. This will impact all areas of my health. If I can be healthy enough to not have to take anything but the thyroid pill, that would be worth all the work.
Now that I am working on a plan for my health, I am eating less carbohydrates, and it is having a big effect on my blood sugars. I am on a low carb; not a no carb plan. I am becoming very sensitive to both sugar, and my insulin. I am having what feels like extreme highs, and more lows. I am new to treating the lows and am learning not to panic and overtreat them. So when I have a low, I have to reevaluate the amount of insulin I am taking. It is on what is called a sliding scale. I am not always sure I am taking the right amounts, but when my body responds positively to the food and insulin, I do feel better.
I used to feel very tired when my sugars were high. I still do, to a lesser extent. Even when they are higher, it is not as easy as it used to be to figure it out. I am not as sluggish when I take insulin. I do have insulin resistance. My body still makes it, but it is not being used properly, or there is not enough being produced by my pancreas. That is why I am taking insulin. My body needs the help. There is a chance that I won’t need it someday if I keep working towards a healthier lifestyle. That is something to strive for, and the fact that I have to lower my insulin doses tells me that it is a strong possibility.
I also have what is called Dawn Phenomenon. Some diabetics have an increase in blood sugars overnight. It is generally thought that it is the body’s way of preparing for the new day, and the extra sugar in the blood is to help you wake up. In diabetics, it can put your sugars up before you even have anything to eat at the start of your day. It is harder to be alert and to focus when your blood sugars are high. I am now in the habit of testing my sugars more frequently, and this is helpful. My doctor advised adjusting the long-acting insulin at nighttime as this may help to manage the higher sugars in the mornings. I have a feeling that I am going to have to become a lot more serious about it and start a food, blood sugar and insulin diary to really get a handle on it.
When my sugars are low, it is still obvious to me. I get shaky. I get really confused, it is hard to think, it is like I am in panic mode. I freak out a little. I sweat profusely out of my scalp, of all places, when I am awake. At night I notice my legs are where I sweat when I am having a low. Luckily, I wake up when it is happening. Also, the frequent trips to the washroom usually have me up through the night. So if I am up, and I feel off, I test to be sure about where my sugars are. I have started keeping juice boxes with me at all times, and hard candy. I am learning how to live with type 2 diabetes. It is not an easy thing to figure out. Not enough insulin allows my sugars to go high. Too much can cause a low, and if my sugars get too low, that can be fatal. I usually take a lower dose of insulin if I am not sure how I am going to react to how much insulin I am taking. I am cautious about taking large doses, but sometimes they are necessary. Type 2 Diabetes is not an easy disease to live with it, but management is the key, and I am on the right track.
I am obsessed with food and addicted to sugar. I am working on both of these issues and changing my habits along the way. I was thinking about how to go about starting this series when I chose the name. Yes, there are other meanings of the phrase Trust Your Gut, but to me, my world revolves around my emotions, food and my health. They all tie together in my life, so when it comes to my health, I have to trust my gut. Am I hungry or bored? Will that affect my sugars if I eat it? How much insulin do I need to take if I want to eat that? All of these things factor into my decisions, and a lot of the time, I am guessing. So, I go with my gut feelings a lot in my day. Sometimes I listen, and sometimes I don’t. I am the only one in control of what I eat, and how much of it I eat. Sometimes I have the willpower to avoid bad choices. Other times I give in and have what I want. I used to feel like I shouldn’t eat at all if my sugars were high before I started taking insulin. Now I can juggle the dose to accommodate for both good and poor choices in terms of food. I hate having to think about the consequences of everything I eat, but it is a fact of my life, and I decide how I want to live it. Working towards living a healthier lifestyle is something I am glad I decided to do. I am still here, and my gut tells me to keep on this plan and it will work, so I am giving it my best shot. Pun intended.
#TrustYourGut
by Tish MacWebber | Feb 2, 2017 | Trust Your Gut
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people that have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them, as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
Here is the first of many Trust Your Gut stories, I am starting with my own, Tish’s Story.
I have always struggled with my weight. My issues began as a child. I have always been overweight. Growing up, dessert was used as a reward for eating all my supper. I used to gobble all of my supper as fast as I could and be the first one done so I could have my dessert. When I was in grade eleven, my mom and I went through weight watchers together. I was at goal weight when I graduated from high school and went to university. Then I was in charge of what happened. I got sick, in my first year. I fought mononucleosis and tonsillitis at the same time. While I was sick, my throat was very sore. When I was able to be at class, I dozed while taking notes. Doctors wanted me to eat, they were concerned that my sore throat would prevent me from eating and that the illnesses could cause an unhealthy weight loss. I was told to eat whatever I wanted, as long as I was eating.
I took that literally and ate whatever I wanted during my university years. When I finally graduated, it was six years later. Cafeteria food didn’t always win with the healthier choices. It was hard to choose salad over french fries. When I moved off campus and into my own apartment, I had more control over what I was eating, and a budget to deal with. Eating healthy is not easy to do when you are on a budget. I still struggle with that now, but it is easier with a larger budget for groceries. At that time, it was easier to have fast food and the less healthy options for groceries, because they would be more affordable.
As my weight ballooned more and more out of control, I developed other health issues. I became a Type 2 Diabetic. I was also diagnosed with thyroid disease. I take one pill a day for this, and I will have to forever. I am OK with that. Then I tested positive for sleep apnea. I have not started any medical treatment for this condition. These health issues are a normal combination for someone who is considered on the BMI scale to be morbidly obese.
The first time I heard that term, it had shock value. I didn’t know how to react. A term like that is really hard to apply to yourself. Being so overweight that you could die from it. It’s a lot to absorb when you don’t feel like it applies to you. I know I am overweight, don’t get me wrong. But there is some denial there too. Until the scale hits a certain number.
For me, and this is hard for me to put out there, I weighed more than 300 lbs. There, I wrote it. It is just a number, but it is a really significant one. I remember sharing a different, lower weight with a friend in university, who replied, “No, you can’t weigh that much. You don’t look like you weigh that at all. You carry it well.” This added to my denial of my weight problems. I didn’t look like I weighed that much, so it was OK to keep going like I was.
Only it didn’t stop there. I was close to 320 lbs at my highest weight. At that point in my life, I made a decision, after finding an ad on facebook for Trim Healthy Mama (THM). What I was doing wasn’t working, so it was time for me to make some changes. That was my aha moment, as it is commonly called. What I was doing was not working so I had to make a change.
I have implemented several changes in my journey to becoming a healthier person. I am following the Trim Healthy Mama plan. If you want to learn more, this is a link for your own research: https://trimhealthymama.com/
I am not on plan 100% of the time, but I have adapted it in my life over the last year. I have successfully lost 15-20 pounds since I started making small changes. I am bouncing between the two, and on the verge of two-ville (299.99 lbs). That is retaking my first small victory, to be under 300 lbs. The next goal is 290. Going by 10 lbs at a time is reasonable goal setting at this stage. Too large of a goal will cause self-defeat because it is too long between accomplishments. When I no longer have 20 lbs to lose, I will decrease the goals accordingly. I have a lot of work ahead of me, and a long way to go.
Another change I have made was to become more active. For a few years, I have been going to Zumba Classes twice a week. I did extra walking also, my Zumba teacher has dogs, and there was a steady time that I was going to visit and help her walk the dogs. She and her rescue dogs were rescuing me from being a couch potato. 🙂 In the spring I hope to adopt a rescue dog of my own, so I can start having a reason to walk every day.
I started noticing a trend from people I know, or people that are my friends through social media; and even on tv, the new show This is Us. Weight loss surgery is something that people are doing. This is why I decided to start this blog series. Weight loss surgery is not for me, and I have my reasons at this point for saying so. I can still move, therefore if I put in the work, I can make changes to lose the weight. I am not fooling myself. I see what happens when I do work really hard, and I have had success with THM. When I work hard I see results. It is up to me. So with that mindset, I am doing it. For me and my health.
Being a type 2 diabetic is something I would not wish on anyone. While I am on THM, I have noticed some trends in my blood sugars, the most significant one being I have sugar lows. This is a new and scary side to being a diabetic. It also means that there is hope that my body can start effectively producing and using its own insulin. I have been on insulin for about ten years now. I take 2 types, one short acting, and one long acting. I went from 2 needles a day to 5. This is what a person fears the most when they hear the words from a doctor, confirming that they are a diabetic. That you have to take insulin. You have to take needles. It is hard to adapt to this at first. What do you tell people, when you are taking insulin? Stabbing sounds violent. It is what I said at first. Then I decided it wasn’t the correct term, it was more like jabbing. Then it clicked. One morning I was trudging into the bathroom to take my insulin, and I blurted out to my roommate, ” I have to go Jabba the gut.” It stuck, and he thought it was hilarious. I have a fantastic sense of humour, and I do love a good pun. It takes an unpleasant necessary action and makes it funny.
A good sense of humour is something I can be proud of. It is a part of me that keeps me going. Laughter is something I do enjoy sharing. I take great pride in delivering a successful pun or joke. Sometimes people don’t know that my joke was actually thought about before I tell it. 😉 Some people think I tell too many stories, and don’t want to wait for the punch line. My sense of humour is a huge part of my coping mechanism, and I rely on it heavily, pun intended. It is a great deflector, to take the focus off me and my health, and to laugh about something else instead.
It is no laughing matter. Wearing size 24/26 clothing, and having to take 5 needles a day is no fun. I have started my weight loss journey, and I am going to keep going. I owe it to myself. No matter what your weight issues are, they are yours. You have to decide that your health is worth the effort. You are worth it. Whether your issue is being overweight, like myself, or if you are on the other end of the scale, and underweight, you are worth more than what the number is on the scale.
I wanted to start this series to try and help people like me. I have chosen my path, and I intend to keep on it. It won’t be straight and narrow, I am a curvy woman who likes to choose the path less travelled; when I am not forging a new path on my own. I am hoping that by sharing my story, and other people’s stories, that this series will make people with weight issues start thinking and talking about it. It is an issue for a lot of people, and by sharing our stories and information, we can help someone out there that needs to make some changes but doesn’t know where to start, or what options are out there. I intend to write more Trust Your Gut stories, with help from other people, so that someone out there can have their aha moment, and start making changes towards their own healthier lifestyle.
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 23, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
Here is another Tish-ism for you. In my efforts to live a healthier lifestyle, I have added in two Zumba classes a week. I do my best to be there, barring migraines and having to stay late at work once in a blue moon, I go. Living in Canada, sometimes weather is an issue. I am working on getting more active besides my Zumba classes, but for now, it’s my main activity every week. Winter + Ice = Tish is scared to fall down. So outdoor activities are not a thing for me in the winter, without the proper equipment.
I had a good amount of positive energy today, and feel like my pedometer lied when it read 3700 steps. It felt like a million tonight, at least. I was in the Zumba Zone, and was literally working my butt off. I know what that means. When I go back to class Wednesday, I will be moving a little slower, and maybe in a little pain. The good kind. The kind of pain that is caused from exercise that was done correctly. It also means I worked out my muscles, and that I wasn’t just going through the motions.
At the end of a class, when I feel like this, the first thing that comes to mind is that I Zumba-(ed) too hard.
I don’t like pain. I don’t deal with it very well. Lately I have successfully convinced myself that there is a right kind of pain, and a wrong kind. The right kind means that your muscles worked out and did what they were supposed to do. That is why it is good, it was productive, no matter how bad it hurts. It is neither throbbing, nor a high amount of pain. The bad kind is counter productive. If you rip or pull a muscle, it hurts a lot. I pulled a ligament in one of my legs in elementary school. I was mid-stride and went from running to limping and crying. I had to wrap it and got a few days off from school. I still remember how much it hurt when it happened. I do not recommend trying this, ever.
No matter what is going on, I have come to enjoy going to Zumba. I love dancing. Sometimes it is not the same as what everyone else is doing, but I am still being active, no matter what I have to improvise. That is important.
So when I was in the middle of class today, I really felt like I was completely in my Zumba Zone, and I went for it. There are going to be days that I am not feeling up to giving 120% to the Zumba class. Today was not one of those days. I felt strong. When things work for me, I am all in. I left feeling like I had worked out today. That is a big deal. I am not an athletic type of person. I do enjoy swimming, and dancing. Biking is OK, but I haven’t had a bike for years. It’s the same for skating, I used to skate, but haven’t for years. I walk, and I am starting to pick up my pace again when I have errands to run in the mall where I work, or even just for moving to the break room. I sometimes feel my heart rate picking up, and even am short of breath when I push myself.
What am I getting at? Well, there are days when you feel good and strong, and on those days like today, it is a good plan to push yourself a little bit harder. If you do this, on the days you don’t feel up to the 120% and you aren’t in YOUR Zumba Zone, well, on those days 75% is OK. You are doing the best you can. For me it’s all about how I am feeling, and I know my limits. I don’t think I am to the point I was about six months ago when I could feel my abdominal muscles the next day, but I am on my way back. By the time the weather changes from winter to spring, I plan to be increasing my activity level. When I am ready. And when there is no more ice out there. Until then, I’ll keep going to Zumba, I don’t have any plans to stop for a long time to come.
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 22, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
I have made some progress in my kitchen and in my health. These are things that are important to me right now. I am getting my environment ready to write a book. I am preparing myself to be healthier when I write. So tonight I plan to sit back with a nice glass of wine for a mini celebration of my progress.
The trick is to keep going. A small celebration is OK, but it doesn’t mean I am done working on my projects. Far from it. The old me would have stopped, because I got something accomplished. The new me that wants a more productive life, wants to finish it all. So I am taking a break. Having a treat, and then getting some prep work done for lunches this week.
It looked like I missed throwing out expired bottles of salad dressing and the like last year. That makes sense, as a year ago I was under medical restrictions concerning movement. I was fighting a knee infection, and not able to move around as much as I like to. It was a scary experience, being told to stay as still as possible to prevent spreading the infection, and it was hard to comply. Yet here I am, working on a deep cleaning project of my house, a year later.
I am back to normal (as close as I get, anyway) and focused. My end goal is a book. Then another. It will take three to write a trilogy. However, if I didn’t start with my cleaning projects first, they may never get done. That’s not OK. I have to be healthy to be productive, inside and out. So I am not procrastinating about writing, not at all. I am being realistic. If I don’t make myself do this first, it won’t get done. I know myself. I will get sucked in to my imagination, and not come up for air for days. Maybe weeks or even months. The point is, I am doing it. Working on my home, and working on making myself healthier also.
It is hard to sit at my desk, and not work on the immediate area. I am creative, and would rather make a mess than clean it up. I have to focus on the kitchen now, and another project will be my living room/office cleaning. As my husband and I generally do work on the living room together, I will have help in that room. Which is good. I am not living here by myself. I sent my husband out for groceries while I got ready to tackle the fridge. I wish I could say I was ready when he got home, but I was in the middle of it. So he put the freezer things away, and helped a little here and there. He made me a kaiser roll with ham and swiss. A regular roll is not on my plan, but sometimes if someone offers to make you something to eat, you have what is offered.
Another reason I do not want to start working on the living room/office right now is that I won’t finish either room. I get distracted easily, and if I am working on multiple projects simultaneously, chances are one won’t be completed, maybe more than one. So I have my reasons for working on things in order. Once the whole house is clean, then I will begin a maintenance routine, something quick and efficient.
In terms of my health, the scale was nice this morning. I am working harder to stay on plan, so I can start losing weight. It is so much easier to be lazy about everything. Last year I decided that what I was doing then was not working, and I decided it was time to make some changes. Trim Healthy Mama was in an ad on facebook one day, and I thought it was worth a shot. I am still working on it, and have lost weight. If I stick to it, it works, and I do try. This year I am trying harder, and this will show me more results.
My snack for my celebration will include cheese, turkey pepperoni, some pickles, and that glass of wine. I have a bottle that has been open a little too long, so I am going to have a glass from it. Then I will have to go back to the kitchen. I am not going to finish tonight. I am going to finish up some dishes, and find some order in the chaos that happens when I clean. Things move to where they are not in the way until I find a place to put them to stay. And when I go to bed tonight, I will have a restful sleep after such a productive day.
As long as I continue working on my projects, I can have little celebrations along the way. And chocolate. 85% cocoa chocolate IS on plan, and something I am also happy about! Celebrate the little successes along the way, and keep going. Whatever you are working on, do it. It will be a giant snowball of positivity when you finish, and when you are on a roll, it’s easier to keep going than to stop.
I wish I had gherkin pickles. Oh well, another grocery run in 2 weeks will fix that for me!
I made my husband look at the completed fridge. Hearing him say, “Nice!” as he looked at the way I have organized our food was validation. I did a good job.
A Kind Word Goes A Long Way
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 13, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
A part of my New Healthy Lifestyle that I have been working towards for more than two years now has been adding physical activity into my routine. At my current job, there was a team for the local Relay for Life Charity event, and I joined. I have gone to a few Relay Events in the last five years, and that is where I found the Zumba Crew. The group size ranges from year to year, and class to class. The core group has remained, for the most part, the same. It is a private group, not that we don’t accept new members, but that it is not based out of a gym. We meet twice a week, and I have been working at it and getting better all the time.
The featured picture above was from Relay For Life 2016. This is just a few of us. The photo bomber Storm Troopers in the background looking like they want to be a part of the Zumba Crew really were there. They were in another group for Relay, and they gathered a lot of attention. But if you look past the Zumba Crew, you can see it. They want to join in. That happens around our Zumba Crew. We have a lot of fun!
As you can see, one of the Storm Troopers joined in for Zumba at Relay 2016. It was really fun! I have come a long way in my healthier lifestyle goals. I have always finished class. Not always doing the same thing as everyone else, or keeping the same pace, but I am there until the end. The first time I did Zumba at Relay, I had two; not one but TWO charlie horses in my calves. I wanted to quit. But I thought about where I was, and what I was participating in. Thought about how it was to raise money to cure cancer, and if you have cancer, and need to go through treatments, you can’t just quit in the middle if you want to beat it. So I toughed it out.
Since then, I have never had an experience quite like it. I am grateful for that. I have had health issues in the past year that forced me to take a break from Zumba. I am happy to report that I am back, and getting stronger again. I am keeping pace better, and trying harder at doing the same moves as everyone else. I have to do my own thing, sometimes, because I still have a long journey ahead of me to becoming a healthier version of myself. Something I want people to take away from reading this is that it doesn’t have to be Zumba, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. But if you pick something you enjoy doing and work at it on a regular basis, you will improve, and you will be a better person for it.
So go out there and try something new. Or get involved in something you used to like doing. Make friends. Have fun. It might be the best thing you can do for yourself! Trust me, the best part of my Mondays and Wednesdays is rushing out of work to go join my friends at Zumba Class. Find your Zumba, and start becoming the best version of you that you can be!
