by Tish MacWebber | Feb 10, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
I got married six and a half years ago. The day of Hurricane Earl, to be exact. In the middle of my bouquet, was a live plant. An African violet. They were in all the bouquets and featured as centrepieces on the tables. We had a wedding planner, and she put things all together for us. We made as much as we could ourselves, but our families do not live in Fredericton, so we wanted someone else to decorate and have things ready for us.
Our parents on both sides were skeptical. They didn’t want us wasting money for a professional, and they weren’t sure it was necessary. I don’t know what we would have done without her! I arrived at the church and she wrapped me up and ran me into the building without the weather ruining my wedding dress. A true miracle worker!
My mom and mother in law helped with the favours. We made them ourselves. They turned out cute as a button!
They held the nice chocolates you get from Costco. We put both light and dark chocolates in each one. I worked on those squares off and on for years when I picked my colours. When it came down to the night before the wedding, my mom took on the final push to get them all ready. It was an impressive little army of teddy bears when they were done.
When it came to planning the wedding, like a lot of things in my life, I decide on what I want, and then I go for it. I made up my mind about the African violet bouquet and searched the city until I found a florist that would make it happen. I found the pattern for the favours the same way. I decided I liked the idea and worked on making them. When I found my dress, I didn’t even try any dresses on at any stores. I found THE pic of THE dress in a magazine, after going through hundreds of magazines with thousands of pictures. I then approached a local seamstress, and she worked her magic. She did a beautiful job of making a wedding dress for me. Doing the things you can for your wedding makes it more economical, and gives it your own personal touch. Local businesses like printers, bakeries, seamstresses, florists and wedding planners benefit from your special day and make the effort to do right by you, so you recommend them to your friends. It is what they do. Not everyone has that luck with their vendors, but we had that part covered with the wedding planner. The only thing she didn’t handle was the weather, and we still had a lovely wedding. It was memorable.
Back to the bouquet, this is a picture of the trial run. We had several African Violets on all the tables, and by the end of the reception, they had all been sent with guests to new homes. All but one. Mine. I got a throwing bouquet and kept my own. I took it apart within a few days and saved the heather, which dried nicely and lives in my guest room, in a vase, on a decorative shelf. I replanted the violet. It grew to quite a size in the first few years, and then it started to fade. As long as I am alive, I want that plant to live. It symbolizes so much. It is a living memory of the most important day of my life. Like a marriage, it needs to be cared for and nurtured. I have it in a good place in my kitchen, now, and it is making a comeback. I thought it was a goner a while ago. So I took some time, found it a new place to live, and it is starting to thrive again. I turn it when it leans towards the sun, and keep turning it every so often, just like watering it. I don’t have a schedule, I just keep an eye on it, and if it seems a little wilted, I give it water.
I was pleasantly surprised this week when my husband announced there were flowers growing on it again. He has a greener thumb than I do, so he keeps an eye on all of our plants. His Christmas cactus is huge. I call it the Green Monster. It is also blooming for the second time this winter. That plant is over 20 years old. Someone asked me how old it was the other day. I couldn’t really believe it was that old, but it is. That is a chair behind it, in case you are trying to judge how large it is.
What’s my point with this? Well, to put it simply, if you take the time to care for your African violet, it may not always thrive, but with the right amount of nurturing, just like anything in life, it will bloom when the time is right. It gives me great joy to see the next group of flowers reaching for the sun, and gives me hope that my marriage will continue to blossom also.
Update: I am currently amazed at the number of flowers on my African Violet. The pic below was taken on June 4, 2017.
It is the same plant as the one in the first pic in this story. It is still making me smile!
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 30, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
Trust your gut. Your intuition. We have all heard it. This is supposed to be how we protect ourselves. Being half Scottish, superstitions are in my bones. As a child, I had foreseen my grandfather picking me up after school one day. It wasn’t something that was ordinary, or planned for me by my parents; that I was aware of. So when I saw his truck after school, imagine my surprise when it was my uncle in my grandfather’s truck. It was all legit, nothing bad happened. My parents were unable to be home when the bus would drop me off, so they made alternate arrangements.
Premonitions. I can say this was the first time I had one. It wasn’t the last. Sometimes I dream things up before they happen. Other times, a stray thought turns from what if into a reality. So there is a foundation for the thought at the start. My gut does perceive things, and they turn out to be close to the truth, if not the truth before it happens.
So when do you know that your senses are misfiring? At the risk of sounding a little off center, I have asked. When I am second guessing myself, that is when I know it is time to see if I am being rational or irrational. Most times I am over reacting. So I am now learning that if I am wondering if I am being rational or not, usually I am not. I have a big loud feeling that something bad is going to happen, and a little tiny feeling of maybe I am over reacting as well. So now I have to try and find the correct feeling if the spidey sense goes off. Better safe then sorry, when it comes to personal safety, but in relation to social or work doubts, it turns out that is usually what they are. Not actual warnings of anything that is dangerous, but my overactive imagination; my own doubts.
When I have the wrong kind of gut feeling, it is hard to stomp it out. It causes panic and over sensitivity too. Those things are not productive, and the little doubts fan the flames. I have to rationally calm down the irrational doubts. Not an easy thing to do. But necessary, for functioning in everyday life.
Having other things to focus on helps. Diving into a book, or work, or a TV show can steer the panic away. Diversion is a useful tool. As long as it is not something that interrupts what needs to happen for life to continue on as it needs to do. If I can’t shake it, things get worse before they get better. Anxiety attacks are not nice. I have had some when I didn’t understand what was happening. That is scary. When I realize what is happening, I am able to calm down. When I don’t, they escalate. That is bad news. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and when I get worked up about something, it usually bubbles over somewhere in my day. This is hard to explain, sometimes, as I can get angry or upset, and have difficulty verbalizing what is wrong. There have been times when I am so upset that there is a physical reaction that prevents me from talking, a feeling like my throat is closing off. It is hard to deal with other people when that happens, but I always bounce back. It is what I do.
The first time I had a panic attack, I did not know what was happening. I was hyperventilating, and close to fainting. What did I do? I called my Mom. I was in another province at the time, and on day 9 of being a Nanny for 3 girls aged 10 and under. Their parents were on another continent looking for a new home. I was in the suburbs of Toronto, and on day 9 of 10 days alone with the girls, the reality and responsibility caught up with me. It was all a little too much for me to comprehend. Thankfully, there was a relative of the girls nearby, and she gave me a break. She sent me to the mall. I calmed down after that and a beer. I was legally able to drink that beer, being 19 or 20 years old at the time.
Not knowing what was happening was scary. It was a while before I had another one, and because I do not have them frequently, I can miss the warning signs because I am not always on guard. When I figure out what is happening, I can usually calm myself down. Not everyone is so lucky. Some people aren’t able to calm down without medication. I am lucky that I can, and sympathize with anyone who goes through panic attacks that can’t calm down by themselves. It is not anyone’s fault if they have panic attacks. They happen. People have to find coping strategies to deal with them, so they can function day to day. What can you do if someone you know suffers from this? Listen to them. Sometimes that is the best thing that you can do. Offering to help with a daunting task is also a good choice, if they are open to accepting your assistance. Mostly support in whatever way you can, and in a way that they say is OK. People that have panic attacks are still people, and helping a friend is never a bad thing, as long as they are able to accept what you want to do. Taking over is not the way to go, that may make them feel like they are not capable of what they are trying to do, and even though you might feel better, they may not. In this type of situation, you want your friend to feel like they can accomplish things, and by asking what you can do, you are helping. Even if they decline your help, they know you care, and you want to help. Sometimes that is all you can do, and all that is necessary.
It is important for your friend to know that you support them, so that they can do what they need to do to find their way out of the attack. Don’t brush it off, or make light of what they are feeling. It is real for them, I know. It was real for me. If they push you away, give them space, but keep checking on them. Call, bring them a coffee, or take them out for one. Little things can be big if they are done from your heart. It can make the difference between the worst day ever, or the best friend that helps you feel better about yourself. The world needs more people that want to be good friends. So do what feels right, and hope for the best. It will mean the world to your friend if you let them know you support them, however they let you. Be the best friend you can be, and it will matter. You can make a difference. You may never know how big of an impact you are in someone else’s life, so make the effort. You can’t fix everything, but you can help by being a good friend.
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 23, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
Here is another Tish-ism for you. In my efforts to live a healthier lifestyle, I have added in two Zumba classes a week. I do my best to be there, barring migraines and having to stay late at work once in a blue moon, I go. Living in Canada, sometimes weather is an issue. I am working on getting more active besides my Zumba classes, but for now, it’s my main activity every week. Winter + Ice = Tish is scared to fall down. So outdoor activities are not a thing for me in the winter, without the proper equipment.
I had a good amount of positive energy today, and feel like my pedometer lied when it read 3700 steps. It felt like a million tonight, at least. I was in the Zumba Zone, and was literally working my butt off. I know what that means. When I go back to class Wednesday, I will be moving a little slower, and maybe in a little pain. The good kind. The kind of pain that is caused from exercise that was done correctly. It also means I worked out my muscles, and that I wasn’t just going through the motions.
At the end of a class, when I feel like this, the first thing that comes to mind is that I Zumba-(ed) too hard.
I don’t like pain. I don’t deal with it very well. Lately I have successfully convinced myself that there is a right kind of pain, and a wrong kind. The right kind means that your muscles worked out and did what they were supposed to do. That is why it is good, it was productive, no matter how bad it hurts. It is neither throbbing, nor a high amount of pain. The bad kind is counter productive. If you rip or pull a muscle, it hurts a lot. I pulled a ligament in one of my legs in elementary school. I was mid-stride and went from running to limping and crying. I had to wrap it and got a few days off from school. I still remember how much it hurt when it happened. I do not recommend trying this, ever.
No matter what is going on, I have come to enjoy going to Zumba. I love dancing. Sometimes it is not the same as what everyone else is doing, but I am still being active, no matter what I have to improvise. That is important.
So when I was in the middle of class today, I really felt like I was completely in my Zumba Zone, and I went for it. There are going to be days that I am not feeling up to giving 120% to the Zumba class. Today was not one of those days. I felt strong. When things work for me, I am all in. I left feeling like I had worked out today. That is a big deal. I am not an athletic type of person. I do enjoy swimming, and dancing. Biking is OK, but I haven’t had a bike for years. It’s the same for skating, I used to skate, but haven’t for years. I walk, and I am starting to pick up my pace again when I have errands to run in the mall where I work, or even just for moving to the break room. I sometimes feel my heart rate picking up, and even am short of breath when I push myself.
What am I getting at? Well, there are days when you feel good and strong, and on those days like today, it is a good plan to push yourself a little bit harder. If you do this, on the days you don’t feel up to the 120% and you aren’t in YOUR Zumba Zone, well, on those days 75% is OK. You are doing the best you can. For me it’s all about how I am feeling, and I know my limits. I don’t think I am to the point I was about six months ago when I could feel my abdominal muscles the next day, but I am on my way back. By the time the weather changes from winter to spring, I plan to be increasing my activity level. When I am ready. And when there is no more ice out there. Until then, I’ll keep going to Zumba, I don’t have any plans to stop for a long time to come.
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 22, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
I have made some progress in my kitchen and in my health. These are things that are important to me right now. I am getting my environment ready to write a book. I am preparing myself to be healthier when I write. So tonight I plan to sit back with a nice glass of wine for a mini celebration of my progress.
The trick is to keep going. A small celebration is OK, but it doesn’t mean I am done working on my projects. Far from it. The old me would have stopped, because I got something accomplished. The new me that wants a more productive life, wants to finish it all. So I am taking a break. Having a treat, and then getting some prep work done for lunches this week.
It looked like I missed throwing out expired bottles of salad dressing and the like last year. That makes sense, as a year ago I was under medical restrictions concerning movement. I was fighting a knee infection, and not able to move around as much as I like to. It was a scary experience, being told to stay as still as possible to prevent spreading the infection, and it was hard to comply. Yet here I am, working on a deep cleaning project of my house, a year later.
I am back to normal (as close as I get, anyway) and focused. My end goal is a book. Then another. It will take three to write a trilogy. However, if I didn’t start with my cleaning projects first, they may never get done. That’s not OK. I have to be healthy to be productive, inside and out. So I am not procrastinating about writing, not at all. I am being realistic. If I don’t make myself do this first, it won’t get done. I know myself. I will get sucked in to my imagination, and not come up for air for days. Maybe weeks or even months. The point is, I am doing it. Working on my home, and working on making myself healthier also.
It is hard to sit at my desk, and not work on the immediate area. I am creative, and would rather make a mess than clean it up. I have to focus on the kitchen now, and another project will be my living room/office cleaning. As my husband and I generally do work on the living room together, I will have help in that room. Which is good. I am not living here by myself. I sent my husband out for groceries while I got ready to tackle the fridge. I wish I could say I was ready when he got home, but I was in the middle of it. So he put the freezer things away, and helped a little here and there. He made me a kaiser roll with ham and swiss. A regular roll is not on my plan, but sometimes if someone offers to make you something to eat, you have what is offered.
Another reason I do not want to start working on the living room/office right now is that I won’t finish either room. I get distracted easily, and if I am working on multiple projects simultaneously, chances are one won’t be completed, maybe more than one. So I have my reasons for working on things in order. Once the whole house is clean, then I will begin a maintenance routine, something quick and efficient.
In terms of my health, the scale was nice this morning. I am working harder to stay on plan, so I can start losing weight. It is so much easier to be lazy about everything. Last year I decided that what I was doing then was not working, and I decided it was time to make some changes. Trim Healthy Mama was in an ad on facebook one day, and I thought it was worth a shot. I am still working on it, and have lost weight. If I stick to it, it works, and I do try. This year I am trying harder, and this will show me more results.
My snack for my celebration will include cheese, turkey pepperoni, some pickles, and that glass of wine. I have a bottle that has been open a little too long, so I am going to have a glass from it. Then I will have to go back to the kitchen. I am not going to finish tonight. I am going to finish up some dishes, and find some order in the chaos that happens when I clean. Things move to where they are not in the way until I find a place to put them to stay. And when I go to bed tonight, I will have a restful sleep after such a productive day.
As long as I continue working on my projects, I can have little celebrations along the way. And chocolate. 85% cocoa chocolate IS on plan, and something I am also happy about! Celebrate the little successes along the way, and keep going. Whatever you are working on, do it. It will be a giant snowball of positivity when you finish, and when you are on a roll, it’s easier to keep going than to stop.
I wish I had gherkin pickles. Oh well, another grocery run in 2 weeks will fix that for me!
I made my husband look at the completed fridge. Hearing him say, “Nice!” as he looked at the way I have organized our food was validation. I did a good job.
A Kind Word Goes A Long Way
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 17, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
…and made my way to my desk. As a writer, you learn very quickly that when you wake up in the middle of the night and an idea is floating around in your head, it is best to write it down somewhere before it drifts off into the darkness. It can take many forms, a dream, a nightmare, a whisper in your ear, and sometimes it could be a word or a sentence forming a complete thought.
I have learned, through my songwriting, that an idea MUST be written down the minute it happens, because the second you forget it, there is no rewind button to find it again. So I had an idea in the middle of the night, and I came into the living room to write it down. I have a lamp at my desk, and it is easy enough to do. I find I sleep better after I write it down, as it won’t be lost when I need to work on it. This is also true because I don’t fall asleep trying to memorize what I don’t want to forget.
Sometimes a good dream can make an incredible story, or a joke. For example, I shared this story in October before I had this blog set up, before I had even thought of starting it.
So this morning, my husband tells me a story that woke me up and made me laugh. It was about a lizard named Guano. Apparently, this lizard was bad news. He said he lit granny’s chair on fire, and she was still sitting in it, and he didn’t know whose grandmother it was. Then he commented to a guy; as he saw it looking at him with one of its googly eyes as it was riding down the street on a Harley, that he didn’t know lizards drank Jack Daniels. The guy replied, ” Happens in Montreal all the time.” (We don’t live in Montreal). Finally, he then asked why the lizard is named Guano, because he obviously is not an Iguana. The guy answered with…wait for it…”We call him Guano because he’s bat shit crazy, man!” And that, folks, is why you should write down your dreams, because sometimes, there is a good story in there, or in this case, a great punch line! It was my husband’s dream, and it was very entertaining!
If I hadn’t written it down the same day it happened, it would have been lost. A story like that is begging to be shared. So, when I have an idea at work, I e-mail it to my personal e-mail at home, to be waiting for me. When I have an idea in the middle of the night, I make my way to a pen and paper and write it down. It is where the song Lucky came from. We woke up in the middle of the night to a beeping noise. The battery on our smoke detector was losing its juice, so it started beeping at us to change it. In the middle of the night, of course. The first line of the song started in my head, and within a few minutes, I had written the whole song.
If you are a creative person, or if you have a problem in your life that you just can’t figure out, I have two pieces of advice for you:
1) Sleep on it.
2) When an idea strikes, no matter where it comes from, write it down!
You will thank yourself for following these two simple steps, I guarantee it!
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 13, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
There are some things that it is prudent to be superstitious about. Until today, I never really worried about Friday the 13th. Then again, today was not like any other that I have experienced.
Once in a blue moon, I have issues with my digestive tract. Today was one of those days. From when I woke up this morning before the alarm, and even now, the tummy has been off all day. It is usually related to something I ate, or a virus. I am hoping for the first one, because it will work its way out faster. So this morning set the tone for an unlucky day.
Made it to work, safely. Many years ago, my husband was driving us somewhere on another Friday the 13th, and the wet pavement caused a minor fender bender with a taxi. Nobody was hurt, just our budget. Things like this happen, but they tend to stick out in your memory a little further when they happen on a Friday the 13th.
I knock on wood to scare away bad luck. I don’t walk under ladders. Some people have routines. Growing up, there were lots of superstitions in Cape Breton. Someone was always doing some little thing or blaming the spooks and running the other way throwing salt over their shoulder.
So the tummy trouble was not unusual in and of itself. Then I made it to my break time. Normally, I make a trip to the ladies room on every break, so I don’t have to take extra breaks for that reason alone. Some days this works. Other days, I need the extra trip. If it’s worse than that I usually stay home. Today, I decided to go to work, and tough it out.
Don’t be scared, it is not a messy story.
As I was preparing to use the facilities, POP! There went the button on another pair of jeans. The place it used to be now has a big hole where it was. So I am thinking that I have 2 pairs of jeans for the next clothing donation day. Good for my friend, again, not so good for my budget.
In the list of all the things to go wrong in your work day, this is not an optimal situation to be in. Not the end of the world, in any way, but a small pickle to find oneself in, nonetheless. I did what anybody in this situation would do. I blamed the date, and found a paperclip. I twisted the paperclip in such a way that I needed scissors to break out of it when I got home. The pants are not too tight, normally, but today I found myself a little more bloated than normal, with the tummy troubles, and it caused this wardrobe malfunction.
So there you have it. On a positive note, I survived. The jeans were not so lucky.
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 13, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
A part of my New Healthy Lifestyle that I have been working towards for more than two years now has been adding physical activity into my routine. At my current job, there was a team for the local Relay for Life Charity event, and I joined. I have gone to a few Relay Events in the last five years, and that is where I found the Zumba Crew. The group size ranges from year to year, and class to class. The core group has remained, for the most part, the same. It is a private group, not that we don’t accept new members, but that it is not based out of a gym. We meet twice a week, and I have been working at it and getting better all the time.
The featured picture above was from Relay For Life 2016. This is just a few of us. The photo bomber Storm Troopers in the background looking like they want to be a part of the Zumba Crew really were there. They were in another group for Relay, and they gathered a lot of attention. But if you look past the Zumba Crew, you can see it. They want to join in. That happens around our Zumba Crew. We have a lot of fun!
As you can see, one of the Storm Troopers joined in for Zumba at Relay 2016. It was really fun! I have come a long way in my healthier lifestyle goals. I have always finished class. Not always doing the same thing as everyone else, or keeping the same pace, but I am there until the end. The first time I did Zumba at Relay, I had two; not one but TWO charlie horses in my calves. I wanted to quit. But I thought about where I was, and what I was participating in. Thought about how it was to raise money to cure cancer, and if you have cancer, and need to go through treatments, you can’t just quit in the middle if you want to beat it. So I toughed it out.
Since then, I have never had an experience quite like it. I am grateful for that. I have had health issues in the past year that forced me to take a break from Zumba. I am happy to report that I am back, and getting stronger again. I am keeping pace better, and trying harder at doing the same moves as everyone else. I have to do my own thing, sometimes, because I still have a long journey ahead of me to becoming a healthier version of myself. Something I want people to take away from reading this is that it doesn’t have to be Zumba, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. But if you pick something you enjoy doing and work at it on a regular basis, you will improve, and you will be a better person for it.
So go out there and try something new. Or get involved in something you used to like doing. Make friends. Have fun. It might be the best thing you can do for yourself! Trust me, the best part of my Mondays and Wednesdays is rushing out of work to go join my friends at Zumba Class. Find your Zumba, and start becoming the best version of you that you can be!
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 6, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
A brain pretzel is a term that came to mind one day when puzzling out a problem. A pretzel is a twisted piece of dough, and the one above has some extra embellishments that suit this term even more. It’s a description of that moment when you are thinking really hard about something, and your head tilts to the side, and one eye is squinted while the other one is wide open and that eyebrow is pointed straight up in the air. It is what I imagine is happening to the brain on the inside when a person is struggling to figure out a conundrum. The look of perplexity on the outside, with twists and knots forming on the inside as the puzzle gets solved.
That is what a brain pretzel is. This was an introduction to one of many Tish-isms. It’s not trending anywhere yet, but it could be a game changer. If it catches on. There will be more. Always thinking…and full of surprises.
