I am writing a little out of sequence today. I have some Tishsplaining to do about a new Tish-ism, or Two. That’s right, I made up some new words. Tishspiration and Tishspired. I will give you some background information on how these two new Tish-isms popped into my mind today.
Yes, it is Tuesday. I’m aware. Instead of the regular Treasure Seeker Tuesday post that is normally what you would expect to be reading today… SURPRISE! I am always saying that my Super Power is surprising people, including myself. Guess what? My day started with a really big surprise. This is what happened.
It’s Tuesday. I crawled out of bed and made it to my computer. Started catching up before I got ready for work. I saw something that caught my eye. If you follow me on facebook or twitter, you already know what it is. If not, I am going to share a link to this amazing surprise I woke up to this morning…
OPEN AUDITIONS! I couldn’t believe my eyes! Within the last 2 years, I have said to some members of the Zumba Crew that it would be a dream job to be a backup dancer for Janet Jackson. LITERALLY. Here is my chance to try out for it!
I have been putting myself out into the world in a lot of different ways since November 2016. I started the Blog, and moved it here, to the website. I have started writing books. I’ve begun a journey to become a healthier version of myself. I have shared that I am morbidly obese and that I have type 2 Diabetes. I have been going to Zumba for a couple of years. I used to really enjoy Step class and BodyJam, both being dance-based exercise classes (one with a step). I LOVE MUSIC and I LOVE TO DANCE!
I got to thinking today at work. I have been told by more than one person that I am a breath of fresh air. I am funny. I am an inspiration. I know I am determined. I know I am a hard worker. I know I have a really big heart. I know my purpose on Earth is to be a writer because I have stories to tell. I have written songs. I love creating things. I am a jewellery designer. I have danced since I was a teenager. To be honest, I have always been a dreamer.
I made a Facebook Live video on Sunday, asking anyone who has told me that I am an inspiration to them to help me understand what it is that I am doing that makes them think I am an inspiration. I am waiting to see if anyone replies to that request for help.
As I write this, I am trying my first glass of unsweetened almond coconut Silk. I can’t say that I am a fan. I prefer the unsweetened cashew Silk, with or without the vanilla. Surprise! (This random shift in thoughts is brought to you by me trying something new)!
Today at work I pondered about how to submit my 30-second audition video to Janet Jackson. That is not a lot of time. I have to dance, and because I am not a professionally trained dancer, I need to find another way to stand out. If I don’t show my true personality, I won’t be memorable. This is the Big Leagues in my Dream Chasing World! I NEED TO BE MEMORABLE!
How do people stand out in social media in thousands or even millions of 30-second audition videos? They go Viral. What am I good at? Surprising people and myself. I have not gone Viral. YET. My day is coming soon! (I know you saw those hashtags in the picture with the tree).
One way I grab people’s attention is through my writing. Another is through my sense of humour. Still, another is by using my Super Power of Surprises! (I really am full of them)! One that is new to me is being an inspiration to others. I believe it is the next step for me in this journey along the zig-zagging path less travelled with a few side trips along the way.
I was really excited with what I came up with for a concept today. I am not going to reveal the video concept. You will get a link when it is released, here on the website, I promise. I do go to Zumba. I love to dance. I am not a professionally trained dancer. I am making a video anyway. I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Well, I take that back. I would lose weight. Dancing is hard work. I would lose the issues I have with my self-esteem. This would be something that I could really work hard at, and success would be something that could literally help me save my own life.
Type 2 Diabetes is at epidemic levels in North America and in some other countries. I was diagnosed in November 1999. At that time I was 24. Adult-onset diabetes is what Type 2 Diabetes used to be known as because people only used to get this disease when they were middle-aged. There are now children getting Type 2 Diabetes before they are teenagers. This is totally controllable and even reversible in some cases. I know that being morbidly obese from poor food choices and low activity levels are the main reasons I am fighting for normal every day. Sometimes I am fighting with every meal. Exercise helps. Making better food choices helps. I can only imagine what a complete lifestyle change with an opportunity like this could mean to not only me but to people all around the world that are like me. Fighting every bite, every meal, and every day just to be normal.
To do this, I am going to have to put everything I have into it. I am also going to need help. One does not go viral all by themselves. If that could have been done, I would have done it already. 😉
By now, you must have figured out the new Tish-isms. Tish doesn’t understand everything about how she inspires people. What she does know is that she has inspirations and can inspire herself at any time, through her own habit of Always Thinking…
It came to me today. My thoughts are Tishspired and I have Tishspirations all of the time. I need to have my own hashtags with my video to get my message to the world, and to Janet Jackson and her team. These hashtags will help, when I share my video (and even before if people want to help me get the word out).
Here they are:
#DanceWithJanet (the official hashtag for the audition videos)
and the one that gives a hint to my song choice…
Ms. Jackson, if you are reading this, first of all, Thank You. I am honoured that I can even try. Not only would choosing me help me to save my own life, but it would be something that I promise I would not treat lightly, and I would share with the world so that I can Tishspire other people just like me, to put themselves out there, in the real world to make their dreams come true. I can learn routines, and I can dance. I have to try. I will.
Then we will see what comes next.
I have added the link here for my video. I DID IT!
This week, in Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; #53 Me vs the Bathroom Scale. It’s Complicated, I am going to share that yes, I did get on the scale. It was not a good thing that I saw. Not the highest number ever, but certainly not a good one, either. A teeny tiny voice tried to tell me that it was muscle because I went to Zumba yesterday. I know better. It is because I have been into things that I shouldn’t be.
I am my own worst enemy. I know what I need to do to fix my weight issues. I choose the wrong things and I am not happy about it. I don’t have guilt, per se, but I do the same thing over and over again.
I was on the right track last week. Then I ran into hormones and temptations. I saw the results of that when I got on the scale this morning. it was not a good number.
In my defense, I am not perfect. I am allowed to make mistakes. I am human. They add up though, and I see the results when I get on the scale. So how do I deal with it? There are really only 2 options.
I can do nothing, be miserable, get that happy out of whatever I am eating that is not healthy because I am eating my feelings, not the food that I put in my mouth, or I can change. Change is hard. I have been known to make changes rather suddenly in the past, though, and I am not entirely afraid of change. Let’s look at it in terms of beverages.
I have been drinking coffee quite regularly for a few years. I added it in when I gave up Diet Coke. That used to be my main source of caffeine. As a diabetic, we are told to drink diet pop instead of regular pop. The experts say that it is better to drink it because the aspartame is better for a diabetic than sugar. Sugar is bad, and there is a lot of sugar in regular pop. (If you aren’t used to the term pop, it is what we call soda in Canada). I am not writing to slam diet Coke alone, I am slamming aspartame. I have been in better health without it. It was a personal choice, and in reality, if I can’t have Zevia (pop sweetened with Stevia), then I should be drinking water, or cashew milk, or a THM beverage. I do drink regular pop sometimes. I have found myself excusing it because I am eating unhealthy, so the healthy pop is a waste, I will just have regular pop. Like that makes any sense at all. In my morbidly obese mind, I have concocted this reason to do something that is unhealthy for me to do and attempted to justify it. I need an intervention. What the what? As I write this, I am shaking my own head. Nope, that does not make sense.
Coffee. I used to put things in my coffee. Then one day, I started drinking my coffee black. I knew it was healthier to drink the coffee straight up. Since adding the Shrinker with the oolong tea, I am actually noticing a difference in my alertness after they are both in me. So I have made some changes that are having a positive impact, and they were decided upon rather quickly. These decisions I have no regrets about.
How did I handle the number on the scale today? Badly. I had takeout for lunch, and a bottle of wine this evening. It was good wine, at least. I now am getting ready to chase it with an electrolyte-rich beverage because I do have to work tomorrow, and I want to be functional. (Rapido Red Italian wine is really good for the price I paid. It was on sale) I have started drinking Bio-Steel from GNC for Zumba, and I really like it. It is a sugar-free sports drink. It is sweetened with beets, and it is pink. So I am having a Bio Steel “chaser” before bed. Hey, I can start making better choices now, I don’t have to wait for Monday or tomorrow.
Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Me and my Chin. My chin is something that I am focusing on a lot these days. It is puffy. I almost wish I could blame it on having the mumps, but nobody wants to have the mumps. Although as I am sitting here, I am noticing that my glands may be a little swollen…lol. Nope, not the mumps. Fluid retention is much more likely what I am dealing with. I don’t know anymore if it is a 12-pound chin anymore. I do know that it is not a chocolate chin. I am not indulging like I was before. That being said, things do sneak in, and I have less willpower when it comes to certain sweets. I am working on that. I am going to have to ask someone to stop bringing so many home. If they aren’t here, I won’t be into them.
It has dissipated, some. It is not affecting the shape of my face as much. I know that what I am doing is working. I did some prep cooking last week, and I ate my healthy lunches for most of the week. I slipped today, but have lunch planned for tomorrow to get back on track. It is OK to be human, and go off the plan on occasion. It is not good to do it all the time. That is how someone like me gets into trouble.
I had a change come over me last week, and it was for the better. I was trying again. There was a week or two where I just wasn’t trying, and now I have this chin problem. I am very aware of it, and it is something I want to disappear. I want it to not be puffy. I need to refocus again this week and think of my chocolate rewards. Chocolate diamonds.
I think I will weigh in before next week, to see where I am at. I either weigh a lot or avoid the scale. I have been avoiding it of late, so I think it is time to see what is happening. I have made my fresh start, and there is nowhere to go but…down. I refuse to go any higher on the scale. I hope it is nice when I take the step onto it. If not, well, that really won’t be too much of a surprise.
I haven’t been to Zumba as regularly as I have wanted to be lately. Transportation issues are the main reason, sometimes if I have the car there is a storm. I don’t like asking for rides when the weather is so iffy. I will be asking more in the spring. I am really hoping that we can swing another car soon.
I wouldn’t be lying if I said that I wasn’t excited about a discussion I had with my husband earlier in the week. He is finally ready to consider getting a dog after our vacation. I really hope that it works out because I need a reason to become more active. Sadly, I am not motivated to do it if it is just for me, I need a reason. A dog would be that reason. I would have to go for more than one walk a day. That would help me to become healthier. It would fill my heart. Finally, it would make me happy to do something I have wanted to do for a long time. Have my own dog. Even though I am certain that it will like Roy more than me. He has a way with animals. I just love them like my family.
I will let you know if the scale was good, bad, or ugly next week.
Trust Your Gut this week is a review of sorts. It will be a review of what I have learned so far. I wanted to make it a special edition, because of the number it has in the title. I also want to share what this category has done for me.
It is helping me to write Trust Your Gut every week. I know that other people read it, and can relate to some of the things that I write about. Those are both good reasons for me to keep going.
I have challenged myself to lose 50 pounds by July. It is harder than it sounds. I have to really focus if I am going to reach my goal. Getting back on track by going to Zumba tomorrow (I am writing this really late on Sunday, and I can make it to Zumba tomorrow, depending on the weather) is going to be a big help. I am not always able to make it twice a week right now, but I am hoping that will change. Nicer weather means I can start walking. That is why I want to get a dog. It will force me to walk.
I am in my winter slump. It does seem to be a rough winter this year. I have not been able to snap out of it like last year. I know what I have to do, and I just don’t. That makes it hard to get anything done, and hard to stay focused. I am not happy about it. I just have to work through it. It is hard to explain. I know that I don’t like going outside in the winter any more than I have to. I am terrified of falling down on the ice, even with all the extra padding I have built in. I survived 1 fall this winter and was quite sore for a few weeks. I wanted to hibernate.
I did talk to my doctor this past week. My sugars have gone up, and I basically knew that, as I had stopped trying so hard. I read today that the clock moves forward in 4 weeks. That means spring, and it means I will start coming out of the slump. My new doctor was wanting me to understand that I need to get back on schedule for bloodwork every 3 months. I am feeling better about that now that I have found that my new doctor is a really nice person, and wants to know about my life, not just about the health issues I have. She is really working towards building a healthy relationship with me as a person, and I really feel good about it.
She asked about bariatric surgery. I am still in the hell no camp, personally. I know it is not going to be easy to lose weight to become healthier, but I can still move. A friend told me that if I am not able to move anymore it will be too late. To me, it is at that point that I will need help because I am not able to help myself. My friend had a point, but I do not want to take that step.
When I get to the point where I have the excess skin after I have lost the weight, then I will ask for help with surgery. That is something that will make the journey complete, so to speak. It will mean that I need the help at that time. Now I just need to focus and do the work to get me there.
I learned that I need to work harder at committing to becoming healthier. I am roughly back to where I was a year ago. I have changed slightly, in either direction, but I have not lost a significant amount of weight. I have to work harder. I know I can get results if I just work on it. So I know what I have to do, to move forward and to keep writing my story.
Hello Weekend Warrior readers! This weekend was again your Thursday and Friday. Things will be getting back to normal for me soon, and I will be really glad for that. It has been a learning curve with training for the new position. Thankfully, I know a lot from my previous position, so it is not ALL new, but I am finding it drains my energy because it is still new to me.
This weekend I had a lot of goals and zero gumption. I think my seasonal depression is starting to kick in. I will be adding some more vitamin D asap. I live in Canada, and that is the one vitamin that came as a recommended one when I saw a specialist a while back. I do take multivitamins, but I think I might need a little boost. No, it is not an official diagnosis by a doctor, but it does seem to be a pattern that I have seen the last number of years. I just keep doing what I can.
The challenges help, when I get around to doing them. I feel like I am close to burning out, though, because I am just blah. I am still going through the motions, but I am capable of more. It is hard to just get the little things done, some days. When you combine the time of year, the new position at work, and the amount of things I have accomplished in the last 14 months working to build my Author platform, and writing books, keeping up with the blog, and trying new things all the time, eventually I was going to need some downtime. I think I am smack dab in the middle of my downtime season. Which is tough, because I have goals and deadlines. I have things to do that need to be done.
I am starting to wean off from all of the challenges I was doing. I need to focus on applying what I have already learned to my advantage. It is hard, though. I see the new ones starting up, and it would be so easy to lose myself in the challenges again. A part of me feels like I am going to be missing out on some important things. Another part of me is more sensibly saying to take a break. I can learn more after I have worked through all of the information I did learn already.
I did some volunteer work yesterday. I was unable to attend the event today, but I helped the Boston Terrier Rescue Canada team set up the booth for the event last night. I was only there an hour, and then I decided to get groceries. After that, it was time to pick up my husband after work and get ready to start my work week. The good news is that a friend is taking me to see Pitch Perfect 3 tomorrow night. I am really looking forward to that. My husband is not interested, so we are going to leave my car for him, and my friend and I will take his car to the movie. It is nice to have a night out on my Tuesday with a friend. Tomorrow. Your Sunday. I will be so glad when things are back to normal.
I am not holding my breath because things tend to change at work if you get used to them. If things go as they are looking, I will be back to my regular hours so that I can do the new job, and get back to Zumba very soon! I miss it, and I hope that it does work out. I am liking the fact that I can listen to my music at work again. It really helps me to stay positive. Music is my jam, people!
I had an underwhelming 2 days off. I did very little, and that means the weekend has its second win already this year! I plan to get that fixed asap. I need to feel like I am in control again.