by Tish MacWebber | Feb 16, 2017 | Trust Your Gut
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 3.
I love food. I love to eat. Sometimes I eat too much. Other times I eat the wrong things. I don’t allow myself to participate in guilt about eating. I have cravings. I give in to them. I find if I don’t; I go way overboard when I finally cave. I can settle for one of each flavour in a bag of candy. It’s better than having the whole bag.
I don’t always make poor food choices. I don’t always eat until I feel sick from overeating. I don’t always have more than one helping.
I do associate food with feelings. I think chocolate tastes like happiness. Most sweets do to me. Dessert used to make my day. I have started to tackle that problem. I am addicted to sugar, and it is bad for me. Sugar is a diabetic’s kryptonite, only you want it, unlike Superman, he fights to stay away from it. Even Superman needs help with his kryptonite sometimes. It’s not an addiction for Superman, but like me and sugar, it is better to keep far away from it, at all costs.
When I was growing up, there could never be enough Kool-Aid in my water. If it was so thick I had to chew it, that was how I wanted it. Currently, I have actually started reacting to things being too sweet. It was nothing I had experienced before, until recently, in the last two or three years. Age has to be a factor in this. Certainly, my change in eating habits has also contributed to this foreign concept. Not allowing as much sugar in my diet has increased my sensitivity, I think. Similar to the non-smokers reacting to the smell of cigarettes. A scent-free environment really highlights any scent that enters into it, and this might be what is starting to happen to me, with sugar.
I am not on the aspartame train. I have found that I feel better when I cut it out of my life. I am trying other sweeteners, I am using stevia, and erythritol which is also known as Swerve. It comes in granular and powdered forms, and I have started to figure out how to use it in food and drinks. Swerve does leave a cool feeling on the tongue but doesn’t have a nasty aftertaste. I used to drink a lot of pop. Now I can go days without it, and try to only have it as a treat. I didn’t like Zevia, a pop made with stevia, the first, second, or even the third time I tried it. But I kept trying it, and now I enjoy it. It has to be really cold, and then it is good. I haven’t gotten to the stage where I choose water over other beverages yet. I am working on that, too.
The Trim Healthy Mama (THM) plan I follow most of the time has me trying new things a lot. I like every recipe I have tried, and that is a big bonus. I fall short on a night like tonight, when I worked all day, and then came home to what the snowplow left in my driveway. The heavier snow that clumps all together at the end of your driveway, where it meets the road? Yeah, a foot of snow blocking me from parking in my driveway. My husband has hurt himself shovelling earlier in the week. 80 cm of snow (that is 2.62 feet) in one storm was a little too much for us to tackle. The storms of this week are being called Snowmageddon. We went at it together, taking turns with the one shovel, working our way from the step to the shed where the other shovels were. I got the dustpan out to putter with between turns. He pushed himself, and now he is starting to recover, as this was a few days ago. We got a guy with a tractor/snowblower rig to widen the driveway so I could dig the car out and move it. I was not going to be done before spring; otherwise. It stormed again last night, and I was up and at em this morning, and got myself shovelled out and drove myself to work. Then I came home. Ugh. I mean, yay, exercise. I spent an hour and fifteen minutes pushing and pulling the snow out of my driveway. Ten minutes for swearing, and another ten talking myself out of crying in a heap.
My back is not a happy camper, either. But I pushed through…the snow, the anger and the agony of it all…and came in for supper and a beer. I am going to have another drink too. I worked hard moving around a lot of freaking snow this week. My back is not amused, but I have not hurt it. I went to Zumba last night, and upped my activity levels for the week big time, up and over the top of all those snow mountains in my yard. So when I was being asked if I wanted him to make homemade pizza for supper, I told him to make it. Is it on the plan? No. Did I stay on plan by eating everything but the crust? Not a chance. Sometimes you have to make the easier choice because it makes more sense. I was on plan for the rest of the day, so this was not going to ruin everything.
One thing I learned with THM is that you don’t have to wait until Monday to start over. You don’t even have to wait until tomorrow. In 3 hours, you can be back on plan, working on your goals again. I like that. It works for me. When I see that I am not making progress, I know what I did that was not on plan, but I don’t beat myself up over it. I just start again, and every time I do this, I work a little bit harder to stay on plan. Eventually, I will be able to say no to more things that are off plan, and yes to more things that are on plan. Little by little, I am making progress. Someday all of those little things are going to really add up. So I keep working on me, and I let myself be human and take the easy meal sometimes. The important thing is for me to not take it every time.
I am 5’2 3/4″ tall. That snow bank is indeed taller than I am. Let’s hope there is no more snow on the way anytime soon!
by Tish MacWebber | Feb 2, 2017 | Trust Your Gut
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people that have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them, as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
Here is the first of many Trust Your Gut stories, I am starting with my own, Tish’s Story.
I have always struggled with my weight. My issues began as a child. I have always been overweight. Growing up, dessert was used as a reward for eating all my supper. I used to gobble all of my supper as fast as I could and be the first one done so I could have my dessert. When I was in grade eleven, my mom and I went through weight watchers together. I was at goal weight when I graduated from high school and went to university. Then I was in charge of what happened. I got sick, in my first year. I fought mononucleosis and tonsillitis at the same time. While I was sick, my throat was very sore. When I was able to be at class, I dozed while taking notes. Doctors wanted me to eat, they were concerned that my sore throat would prevent me from eating and that the illnesses could cause an unhealthy weight loss. I was told to eat whatever I wanted, as long as I was eating.
I took that literally and ate whatever I wanted during my university years. When I finally graduated, it was six years later. Cafeteria food didn’t always win with the healthier choices. It was hard to choose salad over french fries. When I moved off campus and into my own apartment, I had more control over what I was eating, and a budget to deal with. Eating healthy is not easy to do when you are on a budget. I still struggle with that now, but it is easier with a larger budget for groceries. At that time, it was easier to have fast food and the less healthy options for groceries, because they would be more affordable.
As my weight ballooned more and more out of control, I developed other health issues. I became a Type 2 Diabetic. I was also diagnosed with thyroid disease. I take one pill a day for this, and I will have to forever. I am OK with that. Then I tested positive for sleep apnea. I have not started any medical treatment for this condition. These health issues are a normal combination for someone who is considered on the BMI scale to be morbidly obese.
The first time I heard that term, it had shock value. I didn’t know how to react. A term like that is really hard to apply to yourself. Being so overweight that you could die from it. It’s a lot to absorb when you don’t feel like it applies to you. I know I am overweight, don’t get me wrong. But there is some denial there too. Until the scale hits a certain number.
For me, and this is hard for me to put out there, I weighed more than 300 lbs. There, I wrote it. It is just a number, but it is a really significant one. I remember sharing a different, lower weight with a friend in university, who replied, “No, you can’t weigh that much. You don’t look like you weigh that at all. You carry it well.” This added to my denial of my weight problems. I didn’t look like I weighed that much, so it was OK to keep going like I was.
Only it didn’t stop there. I was close to 320 lbs at my highest weight. At that point in my life, I made a decision, after finding an ad on facebook for Trim Healthy Mama (THM). What I was doing wasn’t working, so it was time for me to make some changes. That was my aha moment, as it is commonly called. What I was doing was not working so I had to make a change.
I have implemented several changes in my journey to becoming a healthier person. I am following the Trim Healthy Mama plan. If you want to learn more, this is a link for your own research: https://trimhealthymama.com/
I am not on plan 100% of the time, but I have adapted it in my life over the last year. I have successfully lost 15-20 pounds since I started making small changes. I am bouncing between the two, and on the verge of two-ville (299.99 lbs). That is retaking my first small victory, to be under 300 lbs. The next goal is 290. Going by 10 lbs at a time is reasonable goal setting at this stage. Too large of a goal will cause self-defeat because it is too long between accomplishments. When I no longer have 20 lbs to lose, I will decrease the goals accordingly. I have a lot of work ahead of me, and a long way to go.
Another change I have made was to become more active. For a few years, I have been going to Zumba Classes twice a week. I did extra walking also, my Zumba teacher has dogs, and there was a steady time that I was going to visit and help her walk the dogs. She and her rescue dogs were rescuing me from being a couch potato. 🙂 In the spring I hope to adopt a rescue dog of my own, so I can start having a reason to walk every day.
I started noticing a trend from people I know, or people that are my friends through social media; and even on tv, the new show This is Us. Weight loss surgery is something that people are doing. This is why I decided to start this blog series. Weight loss surgery is not for me, and I have my reasons at this point for saying so. I can still move, therefore if I put in the work, I can make changes to lose the weight. I am not fooling myself. I see what happens when I do work really hard, and I have had success with THM. When I work hard I see results. It is up to me. So with that mindset, I am doing it. For me and my health.
Being a type 2 diabetic is something I would not wish on anyone. While I am on THM, I have noticed some trends in my blood sugars, the most significant one being I have sugar lows. This is a new and scary side to being a diabetic. It also means that there is hope that my body can start effectively producing and using its own insulin. I have been on insulin for about ten years now. I take 2 types, one short acting, and one long acting. I went from 2 needles a day to 5. This is what a person fears the most when they hear the words from a doctor, confirming that they are a diabetic. That you have to take insulin. You have to take needles. It is hard to adapt to this at first. What do you tell people, when you are taking insulin? Stabbing sounds violent. It is what I said at first. Then I decided it wasn’t the correct term, it was more like jabbing. Then it clicked. One morning I was trudging into the bathroom to take my insulin, and I blurted out to my roommate, ” I have to go Jabba the gut.” It stuck, and he thought it was hilarious. I have a fantastic sense of humour, and I do love a good pun. It takes an unpleasant necessary action and makes it funny.
A good sense of humour is something I can be proud of. It is a part of me that keeps me going. Laughter is something I do enjoy sharing. I take great pride in delivering a successful pun or joke. Sometimes people don’t know that my joke was actually thought about before I tell it. 😉 Some people think I tell too many stories, and don’t want to wait for the punch line. My sense of humour is a huge part of my coping mechanism, and I rely on it heavily, pun intended. It is a great deflector, to take the focus off me and my health, and to laugh about something else instead.
It is no laughing matter. Wearing size 24/26 clothing, and having to take 5 needles a day is no fun. I have started my weight loss journey, and I am going to keep going. I owe it to myself. No matter what your weight issues are, they are yours. You have to decide that your health is worth the effort. You are worth it. Whether your issue is being overweight, like myself, or if you are on the other end of the scale, and underweight, you are worth more than what the number is on the scale.
I wanted to start this series to try and help people like me. I have chosen my path, and I intend to keep on it. It won’t be straight and narrow, I am a curvy woman who likes to choose the path less travelled; when I am not forging a new path on my own. I am hoping that by sharing my story, and other people’s stories, that this series will make people with weight issues start thinking and talking about it. It is an issue for a lot of people, and by sharing our stories and information, we can help someone out there that needs to make some changes but doesn’t know where to start, or what options are out there. I intend to write more Trust Your Gut stories, with help from other people, so that someone out there can have their aha moment, and start making changes towards their own healthier lifestyle.
by Tish MacWebber | Jan 8, 2017 | Cooking Adventures
That is a picture of Chicken Bacon Ranch Casserole. It is one of my favourite Trim Healthy Mama recipes. Last year I stumbled across this plan, and thought I’d give it a whirl. I can say it works, as long as you work at it. I have been bouncing between fifteen and twenty pounds lost in the last year. From playing with it. I am never 100% on plan. But I have made some changes, and feel better when I try hard. So this is one of the reasons I am working harder at it this year.
I need to plan ahead for grocery shopping and cooking meals to stay on track. I have started prep cooking on weekends. Prep cooking for two doesn’t have to be complicated, unless the other person doesn’t want to eat what you have made. At first, I was disappointed with my husband for not wanting to do this with me. I had to take a step back, and think about how to progress with it, and keep us both happy.
There was a point when I realized that I was merely existing and not really living my life to its fullest potential. I came to that conclusion for myself, about myself. Not for him. So he will have to deal with his choices, like I am dealing with mine. I am choosing to try harder. Which means sometimes I cook his and hers lasagna. Other times we make spaghetti sauce and he makes pasta, while I have spaghetti squash with mine. Sometimes we eat the same thing. Sometimes I eat things that are not on plan, with him. Other times I make what I want and he has to feed himself. We manage.
Adapting the grocery list and budget for this was challenging. We use coupons when we have them. We circle what we want in the flyers before making our grocery list. And when I am on top of things, I pick a couple of recipes and add missing ingredients to my grocery list. That is work too. Not hard work, but it is time consuming. So it helps to have a time set aside for this. We like to go get the groceries together. One reason is that we are on a budget, and if I go alone, a sale could cause me to “forget” the budget. He keeps me within the guidelines of the budget. Also, it is good to have help getting it all in the house and put away.
Storage is another issue we have. Living in a mini home, we have to maximize the space we have. That is an ongoing struggle. It is part of the reason I am involved with the cleaning and organizational challenges. There would be more prep cooking done if I had the space and money for more storage containers. Also time. I would love to cook all weekend, but then, there is the cleanup. So that slows me down sometimes.
I have learned that one or two casseroles a week gives me enough food for lunches all week, and for some suppers. Which is reasonable. Until he doesn’t want anything I made. Which on the wrong day makes me angry. But I am learning to let that go, it’s not me he doesn’t want, it’s the food I made. Which by the way, is really tasty, the recipes rock! He just misses potatoes and veggies and meat. Together. I do eat sweet potatoes more than white potatoes, now. Sometimes we bake some of each. He turns his nose up at spinach. That’s why I make his and hers lasagna. He eats traditional, and I eat Lazy Lasagna, which does have spinach and no noodles. I have been teaching him to cook some things, so if he decides he wants something different, he has choices.
Ideally, there would be a way to cook enough for a whole month at a time, have containers to keep it in the freezer, and have him join me on this journey. Reality is that he doesn’t like spinach. So, in this like other aspects of our marriage, we choose to compromise. Sometimes that is the only answer, until he realizes I am right. Which he will, eventually, I have no doubt. Seeing is believing, and we will be seeing results this year. I plan on working hard at all of my goals for 2017.
