Hello Treasure Seekers, this week I am stopping to reflect on what is good in my life right now. I recently got some bad news, and I am discouraged. I am taking a breath, and thinking again about what I have to be grateful for in my life. If I dwell on the negativity, it will not bode well. I have to deal with what happened, and then I need to move on from it. Reflections on what I have that I am grateful for; that is what I am going to dwell on, instead.
I am not going to share the details here, it was not life-altering news, just run of the mill bad news. Something I wanted didn’t work out. It happens. Being on the receiving end of bad news is not something that you can control. But how you react to it and move on after the fact is absolutely in your control. I choose to feel what I need to feel for a few, quiet moments, and then I have to move on.
There is no point in dwelling on it. If I did, I would slip into a deep depression, if I let the negativity win. What you put out into the world is what you get back, and I am trying so hard to stay positive and keep moving forward. Sometimes I slip and catch my footing. Sometimes I fall down. But I get back up. I am trying to look at the big picture, and remember that things happen for a reason. I wish I know what the answer was, so I could just get things to be better than they are now. What they are now is good.
I have a home, with a mortgage. I have a car. I have a loving husband, who supports me in most of my crazy adventures. I have friends and family that cheer me on, both in my real life and in the online world. I have the bills under control. I have food, clean drinking water, heat and electricity. I have cable TV and the internet. I have a medical plan which helps me to maintain my diabetes. I have a brain, and I am able to use it for good. I am writing a book. I have this blog and this website. I have my jewellery business. I have dreams and hopes that reach way farther than anyone can imagine. I have faith.
Sometimes, even I don’t really know what I am truly capable of. I am still learning so many new things that I amaze myself. This is what I am holding on to, that things will get better and if they don’t go the way I want them to, well I am going to keep pushing, and praying and trying different things until I do get something to go in the right direction. I am the woman that picks up and goes in a slightly different direction than the flow because when I make up my mind, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING are possible. I just have to continue working towards my goals, and never give up.
I am seeking my own treasures in this life, and I am going to keep working on my goals until I achieve them. I have to. It is why I am here. To write, and shake things up along the way, while laughing and spreading as much joy and optimism as I can. To create beautiful, quirky, funky, whimsical jewellery, and share my gifts with the world. I am feeling better already. Time to go tackle something while I am in the right frame of mind. I know that I am in charge of what direction I am going in, and sometimes I veer to the left, but I am always on the right path. Mine.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Treasure Seekers. If you are alone, treat yourself to something nice, and count the blessings that you have, whatever they may be. Share them below in the comments, and we will keep the positivity going from our hearts and minds out into the world at large. I believe in myself, and I believe that if we stand together, change can happen, and it can be for the right reasons. Try something new. Surprise yourself. I am glad that I did, and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.
Share-the-Love-and-Positivity-this-Valentines-DayTogether-we-can-change-the-worldone-heartbeat-at-a-time.
#TreasureSeekerTuesday (on Valentine’s Day)
Trust Your Gut this week is a review of sorts. It will be a review of what I have learned so far. I wanted to make it a special edition, because of the number it has in the title. I also want to share what this category has done for me.
It is helping me to write Trust Your Gut every week. I know that other people read it, and can relate to some of the things that I write about. Those are both good reasons for me to keep going.
I have challenged myself to lose 50 pounds by July. It is harder than it sounds. I have to really focus if I am going to reach my goal. Getting back on track by going to Zumba tomorrow (I am writing this really late on Sunday, and I can make it to Zumba tomorrow, depending on the weather) is going to be a big help. I am not always able to make it twice a week right now, but I am hoping that will change. Nicer weather means I can start walking. That is why I want to get a dog. It will force me to walk.
I am in my winter slump. It does seem to be a rough winter this year. I have not been able to snap out of it like last year. I know what I have to do, and I just don’t. That makes it hard to get anything done, and hard to stay focused. I am not happy about it. I just have to work through it. It is hard to explain. I know that I don’t like going outside in the winter any more than I have to. I am terrified of falling down on the ice, even with all the extra padding I have built in. I survived 1 fall this winter and was quite sore for a few weeks. I wanted to hibernate.
I did talk to my doctor this past week. My sugars have gone up, and I basically knew that, as I had stopped trying so hard. I read today that the clock moves forward in 4 weeks. That means spring, and it means I will start coming out of the slump. My new doctor was wanting me to understand that I need to get back on schedule for bloodwork every 3 months. I am feeling better about that now that I have found that my new doctor is a really nice person, and wants to know about my life, not just about the health issues I have. She is really working towards building a healthy relationship with me as a person, and I really feel good about it.
She asked about bariatric surgery. I am still in the hell no camp, personally. I know it is not going to be easy to lose weight to become healthier, but I can still move. A friend told me that if I am not able to move anymore it will be too late. To me, it is at that point that I will need help because I am not able to help myself. My friend had a point, but I do not want to take that step.
When I get to the point where I have the excess skin after I have lost the weight, then I will ask for help with surgery. That is something that will make the journey complete, so to speak. It will mean that I need the help at that time. Now I just need to focus and do the work to get me there.
I learned that I need to work harder at committing to becoming healthier. I am roughly back to where I was a year ago. I have changed slightly, in either direction, but I have not lost a significant amount of weight. I have to work harder. I know I can get results if I just work on it. So I know what I have to do, to move forward and to keep writing my story.
#TrustYourGut
Last week I wrote about the book cover design quest I started, in Treasure Seeker Tuesday. This week I can say that I have continued the work and asking for opinions. Which are very helpful in making changes, and getting ready to make a final decision. It is my first book cover, for my first book. It is a big deal.
I have been pushing myself in a few areas since the new year started. I already achieved a personal goal at my workplace. I sent an email, and what I asked for was granted. If I review my list of things that I want to get accomplished in 2018 to make it a SUCCESS, I am making progress. I launched the website. I am continuing to work on it. I am keeping up with my blog, writing consistently three times a week. I am happier at work with the lateral position change. I really needed a change.
I am forgetting something. I do enjoy all of the things I am working on. Yes, I do love writing and telling stories. I love being able to listen to my music lists on Spotify while I am at work. I am pushing my limits and keeping the momentum going. I am forgetting to just stop doing what I have to do every once in a while and just doing something for fun.
I am scared to stop. When I cut myself some slack, I generally go off the rails, and maybe I don’t find my way back. If I stopped writing and working on the website, I might just do what I do and stop. With every intention to get back to it, and never finding the gumption or the time. That would be a real shame.
Writing and being creative are the things that keep me going, with the coffee and vitamins. I enjoy writing and getting comments about what I have written. I don’t want to stop. But in a way, I did, a little. I have put down the book I started writing.
I stopped in December, and have looked at it once. I am in the part of the year where I sometimes do nothing because of the guilt I have about not doing what I think needs to be done instead of what I want to do. So I do nothing. It is not a good place to be stuck in and it certainly isn’t a place I can just walk away from.
It is inside my head. I know I am hard on myself, but it is a part of what makes me tick. I am my own worst critic, and that is not an easy standard to live up to. I strive to be the best at what I do, and when I don’t succeed, I am really hard on myself. Every once in a while, I have a good cry, release the emotions, and I move on. It is also a part of my coping mechanism. In the last year, it has happened a handful of times. It is how I deal. I spring a leak, and then I patch it up until the next time it breaks.
I am working towards finding a balance, and a way to do all of the things that are productive for me to do. In all areas. I think I need to give myself a break. I have accomplished so much in 14 months. I know I am doing well. I know I am finding my way. It all comes down to perspective. And sometimes, a person needs to take a step away from what they are working on, take a break, and think about it in the back of their mind to gain a different perspective before moving forward again. Even me.
I have taken a break from writing my first book. But you know what? It isn’t going to write itself, and it needs my attention. I am so excited about using my imagination to write this book, and when I share a little, people genuinely react well to what I do share. I am going to scale back on the social media platform and the website just a bit, to make time to finish my book. I have to prioritize it and make the time. That is how I will get it finished. I just needed to give myself space to get a new perspective. It is time to get back to writing the book. Starting tomorrow. It is late, and I still have that day job that pays the bills…
#TreasureSeekerTuesday
Weekend Warriors, I kept things low key this weekend. I had Thursday & Friday off. I also had today off. My weekend is going to align with the real weekend, starting next weekend! I am only really having today as a real day off. It is late, and almost tomorrow.
I relaxed all day with my computer. I worked on social media, and I also played with designs for my first book cover. I did a little work on the website last night. Another category, Trust Your Gut has no more duplicated posts, and they are all there. One large category all set up. I have to go through each category and do the same thing, I think. Any missing posts were in the uncategorized list, so I have a way to find them.
I made a significant decision this weekend. I am going to change the way I do things. I started this category, Weekend Warrior, as a way to keep track of my spring cleaning challenge, and any fun things I had going on. Well, I am severely lacking in the accomplishments, both in what I need to do, and what I want to do. It is time to change my tactics.
I still need to do the cleaning, and try to plan fun activities. I am going to make a significant change this year. Last year, I planned 6 months of cleaning and 6 months for writing. I got as far as I could with that plan in 2017. This year, I am aiming for Success. What that means is in a previous post. Treasure Seeker Tuesday #11 has a list of what I am going to do to succeed in 2018. It doesn’t say how. I am going to be working on that throughout the year.
I have realized that just like I need to work on my cleaning challenges, I also have to work on being creative. I am still figuring out how to implement the plans I am coming up with. I just know that inaction is not helping me to get things done, and I still have a lot of things that need me to do them.
I did laundry today. No big deal for most people. But it is the clothing that I have to hang up, and not just put in the dryer. I have a clothing rack, so everything is hanging to dry. I have been putting off that laundry load for 2 weeks. It’s going to be nice to have my sweaters all clean to wear again. It’s not that I don’t know what I have to do. It’s that there is so much to do that I get overwhelmed.
Remember the Overwhelm Elephant I wrote about in Trust your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 32? Well, it had been giving me a stress headache for the last few days. I had been putting too much pressure on myself to get everything done. I can only do so much. I am working on a plan to get things done reasonably, and effectively. I need to fit in the creativity, or I’ll have a meltdown. Those are never pretty.
I also have to learn to go with the cleaning bug when it strikes. Although if I wait for it, that may never happen. I have to start somewhere. I know I am going to have company in June, so I have a deadline. I do not want to leave it that long, it is too hot and uncomfortable to clean in June. So I am trying to get myself started by working on the house for an hour every day. Then I need to focus on being creative for an hour every day unless I am having a productive cleaning day, in which case I will keep going. It isn’t rocket science, but on the days that I don’t want to clean, I can time it, and still get it done.
I am really glad that the living room furniture rearrangement is done. I still have tidying to do, but there is a lot less to do because we worked in this room already. My office is also in the living room. So it has double duty. I still haven’t finished organizing my office, either. It is a lot better than it used to be, and I have done a little here and there, but the finishing touches have not all been applied. It is something I am waiting to feel like doing.
Tomorrow after work, it is time to reclaim my living room. I have Christmas decorations to unpack and store until next year. It is time that I took that step. I can then create my Launch Pad in the living room, by my front door again. I need to reclaim that space. Then I will start in the kitchen. I still have 4 lbs of ground beef to cook up. I just wasn’t feeling like it today. Tomorrow is a new day. And next weekend is a real weekend! Yeah!
#WeekendWarrior
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 42
I got creative in the kitchen, yesterday. It has been a while. I made brown rice and added fresh mushrooms, green onion, and leftover roast beef in it. I used hoisin sauce. It was in the cupboard, so I used it. It made supper for 2 last night, and my lunch today. I have a little roast beef and green onion left for my roast beef special sandwich for lunch tomorrow. I really love roast beef, green onion, tomato, mayo and A1 sauce done up like a roast beef salad sandwich. My mom named it The Roast Beef Special, and I make it every time I cook a roast beef in the oven.
It has been a busy year for me. I have been working hard on the book, the website, the organizing, the blog, and building my business from the ground up. I have spent hours working on all of these things, but I think I forgot something along the way. Me. My health. I got lazy.
It is so much easier to be lazy and not do the work needed to live a healthier lifestyle. I have lost and gained. I am again scared to weigh myself. I am just not wanting to know the bad news. I am getting back into the practice of making better choices. I have to. My health depends on it.
I have had to work on the insulin levels again. That means I am doing better, when I start having lows it means I am needing to lower the dose. That means my body is responding to the things that I am doing right.
We are on the edge of a food-centered holiday. I am not sure how well I will do. On one hand, I can make treats and try to stick to the THM plan. It is a good way to try to plan ahead. There will be times, though when I will not be in control of the meal, and I will have to make the best choices that I can at the time. Other times I will make things that I know will be good choices to have to eat when I can. So I do have a plan. Sort of.
I also need to start making the moonshine again. Yes, you read that right. THM has a recipe for Good Girl Moonshine. GGMS as it is called, has water, apple cider vinegar, and ginger with a sweetener in it. I add Black Cherry Berry Celestial Seasonings tea to mine. I really enjoy drinking it, and it makes you run to release it if you catch my drift. I have learned that I should not drink it during the day while I am at work. I can have it after work and on the weekends, though. I bought a mason jar with a spout just for the GGMS. I think it is time for a test run. I need to start making little changes now so that I will be on track for 2018.
Have you started thinking about New Year’sResolutions yet? I have, and I will get them organized and plan things out better this year. I did a lot in 2017. What do I want to accomplish in 2018? More. I want to take everything I have done in 2017 and do it better in 2018. It is a place to start, and to build on. That is something I can do, start with little things, and push my limits and go for everything. One thing at a time, then another, and another. I have to start somewhere, and I am not going to wait. The only one that loses out if I keep putting things off is me. And the only thing I want to lose is weight. The time is now.
#TrustYourGut