Last week I wrote about the book cover design quest I started, in Treasure Seeker Tuesday. This week I can say that I have continued the work and asking for opinions. Which are very helpful in making changes, and getting ready to make a final decision. It is my first book cover, for my first book. It is a big deal.
I have been pushing myself in a few areas since the new year started. I already achieved a personal goal at my workplace. I sent an email, and what I asked for was granted. If I review my list of things that I want to get accomplished in 2018 to make it a SUCCESS, I am making progress. I launched the website. I am continuing to work on it. I am keeping up with my blog, writing consistently three times a week. I am happier at work with the lateral position change. I really needed a change.
I am forgetting something. I do enjoy all of the things I am working on. Yes, I do love writing and telling stories. I love being able to listen to my music lists on Spotify while I am at work. I am pushing my limits and keeping the momentum going. I am forgetting to just stop doing what I have to do every once in a while and just doing something for fun.
I am scared to stop. When I cut myself some slack, I generally go off the rails, and maybe I don’t find my way back. If I stopped writing and working on the website, I might just do what I do and stop. With every intention to get back to it, and never finding the gumption or the time. That would be a real shame.
Writing and being creative are the things that keep me going, with the coffee and vitamins. I enjoy writing and getting comments about what I have written. I don’t want to stop. But in a way, I did, a little. I have put down the book I started writing.
I stopped in December, and have looked at it once. I am in the part of the year where I sometimes do nothing because of the guilt I have about not doing what I think needs to be done instead of what I want to do. So I do nothing. It is not a good place to be stuck in and it certainly isn’t a place I can just walk away from.
It is inside my head. I know I am hard on myself, but it is a part of what makes me tick. I am my own worst critic, and that is not an easy standard to live up to. I strive to be the best at what I do, and when I don’t succeed, I am really hard on myself. Every once in a while, I have a good cry, release the emotions, and I move on. It is also a part of my coping mechanism. In the last year, it has happened a handful of times. It is how I deal. I spring a leak, and then I patch it up until the next time it breaks.
I am working towards finding a balance, and a way to do all of the things that are productive for me to do. In all areas. I think I need to give myself a break. I have accomplished so much in 14 months. I know I am doing well. I know I am finding my way. It all comes down to perspective. And sometimes, a person needs to take a step away from what they are working on, take a break, and think about it in the back of their mind to gain a different perspective before moving forward again. Even me.
I have taken a break from writing my first book. But you know what? It isn’t going to write itself, and it needs my attention. I am so excited about using my imagination to write this book, and when I share a little, people genuinely react well to what I do share. I am going to scale back on the social media platform and the website just a bit, to make time to finish my book. I have to prioritize it and make the time. That is how I will get it finished. I just needed to give myself space to get a new perspective. It is time to get back to writing the book. Starting tomorrow. It is late, and I still have that day job that pays the bills…