Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 14

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 14

by | May 25, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 14

Getting back on track is easier said than done.  It takes determination and effort.  I have missed a few Zumba classes.  I went today.  I was eating anything and everything, the last few weeks.  I prep cooked earlier in the week.  My insulin is now working well enough to lower my doses again.  Some days it is a fight just to get motivated to do what I should be doing.  Other days I feel prepared to tackle everything.  I am gearing up for another run at living a healthier lifestyle.

Last week I was watching the scale climb.  This week it is starting to go down.  I am working hard to try and stay on plan as much as I can, and it is working.

The last few months I have been consciously trying to drink more water.  It is a good idea, not just for me, but for everyone.  It would be better if I enjoyed drinking water.  I have to force myself to drink water, sometimes.  I have a drinking buddy, my straw!  I need to get it in quickly or I won’t drink as much water in a day.  Straws certainly help with that.

It is time to get out the measuring tape again.  Still, nothing to report.  With the last few weeks of being sick, I will have to take the number on the scale moving down as my encouragement.  It is good that it is going the right way again.

My heart rate was steady in class.  I do love that I can check it.  Now I have to keep a better focus on what I eat and how much insulin I am taking because my body has come around to responding to it well, again.  That happens when I work hard.  I feel better so I want to do more and I do that and I feel even better.  It is possible.  Just not when I am sick. Everything goes out the window when I am sick.

I did go to the doctor last week.  He gave me a different antibiotic.  I bought a probiotic to take with it because we all know the warnings about what happens when you take one antibiotic, and now I have had to take two.  It has been a little challenging to keep track of when I have to take what medicine.  The good news is that it appears to be working, and worth the trouble.

This week I am feeling more optimistic.  When I feel like doing things, there is a better chance that they will get done.  I am finally feeling like trying again.  So lesson learned.  When my sugars are skyrocketing out of control, it is not me, or what I am or am not eating; I am probably sick.  Which is good to know, because I don’t remember this happening when I was off work with my infected knee.  There is a good reason for that. Painkillers.  I was on some heavy-duty painkillers.

I am sleeping better this week.  Quality sleep is also important in the struggle to live a healthier lifestyle.  If you are well rested, it will boost the energy.  Again, you can do more.  It can snowball in the right direction.  It is happening for me right now.  It can happen to you too.  If you need help, ask. Don’t be afraid.  If you don’t ask for help, it might be too late.  We are all worth helping.  We are all worth loving.  Believe it.  When you believe that you are worth investing your own time and energy into, good things will happen for you too. One change becomes two, then three and so on.  What change are you going to work on this week?

 

 

Why I use a Pedometer in Zumba Class

Why I use a Pedometer in Zumba Class

by | May 22, 2017 | Weekend Warrior

Surprise at Zumba

A while back someone gave me a smart band to wear at Zumba Class.  I already had a pedometer, but this levels it up for me.  It also keeps track of my heart rate, which I also use now that I can.

It has been helpful to keep an eye on my heart rate.  I am able to work out a little harder because I know when I check it, the smart band will tell me if I am working my heart too hard, or not enough.

I report my steps on the Zumba page also.  When I started, I was told you can get up to 5,000 steps in a Zumba Class.  As there is a movement in the world to get a minimum of 10,000 steps every day and walk your way to a healthier lifestyle, getting 50% of those steps done in an hour is a HUGE ADVANTAGE.  So if you are thinking that it is just another dance aerobics class, you are setting your standards for Zumba too low.

I average around 4,000 steps in a class.  Sometimes less, sometimes more.  My goal is to have it increase to the 5,000 steps (or more).  Since I got the smart band, another member of the Zumba crew is using my pedometer in class.  She is averaging 5,300 steps a class.  I have got to say, she is definitely in the Zumba Zone.  It is absolutely possible, and realistic to aim for 5,000 steps while in a Zumba class.

What else do I love about Zumba?  The Zumba Crew, the music, dancing, and having fun!  I don’t do all the moves, I’m not always confident that I can do them all.  I am changing how much I do all the time.  Some days I push myself.  Some days just being there and going through the motions is all I can do.  But I go, and I participate, however I can.

Sometimes I have to stop and check my blood sugars.  Most of the time, they are normal.  If they are low, it means I have to drink a juice box before continuing my workout.  If they are still low after that, it means I need candy and to lower my insulin dose before the next class.

I have missed a few classes this spring because I have been sick.  Nothing serious, but I was not able to go in the last few weeks.  I look forward to going back this week.  Monday is Victoria Day so the next class will be Wednesday.  If I am feeling better, I may just push myself to hit 5,000 steps.  It is something to work towards, and when I get there, I will aim higher.

How do you motivate yourself to exercise?

Weekend Warrior #13

Weekend Warrior #13

by | May 21, 2017 | Weekend Warrior

Here we go again!  It is the middle of a sunny, not too hot but a little too breezy weekend.  I say that because it is BEAUTIFUL out, but not quite warm enough for wearing shorts. Perfect weather to cook and clean in.  Too bad yesterday was an errands day, so not a lot got done around the house.  We did take some time to enjoy the sunshine, though.

We went out to a fundraiser for Great Danes yesterday.  Roy bought a t-shirt to support the cause.  I am holding off because I would rather buy one from the Boston Terrier Rescue Canada group, BTRC as I volunteer with them.  We had lunch and hit up some stores.

There was a bead sale, so I went there first.  I then went to Bed Bath and Beyond.  I would spend more money in there if I had it to spend, well who am I kidding, I love shopping, and money flows faster than mercury through my hands.  Blink twice, and it’s gone, kind of like my awesome time management skills, I have the same ability in both of those areas.  Amazing talents to have…not! My husband went to the pet store.  He is working really hard on his 75-gallon fish tank set up.  I cannot wait to finally post some pics when it is all done!  I will share the finished setup photos when he is happy with it and ready to show it off.

At the second store I found some coffee on sale, not as good of a sale as the last time I was there, but still, a sale is better than full price.  The reason I went was to get an organizational drawer for my fridge.  There is a drawer on a slider in the middle of my fridge, but the space underneath that drawer is a nightmare to keep organized.  My husband does not want to open the fridge and see multiple organization containers inside.  I see the value of the system, but don’t want to buy more bins for the fridge until he changes his mind.  This is the beginning of that transition.  It may never proceed past the initial phase, but at least I get to tackle one huge problem area in our fridge.

I started my Sunday off in Church.  I do like going and was a little late, but better late than never, I thought.  So I went.  Then I went to a coffee shop to wait for my ride home.  It was a good start to the week, and to my Sunday.

I am headed back into the kitchen today.  I NEED to run the dishwasher and get the dishes back under control.  I think I am starting to feel better, hurrah for antibiotics and trying a different kind!  I am wanting to do things again.  Still not feeling completely healthy, but feeling like I want to get some things done around here again is a big plus.

I didn’t get things done last weekend.  I was really feeling awful, and sometimes what you need to do has to be prioritized.  I needed to rest so that I would get better, and be able to get some spring cleaning done this weekend.

I am not going to focus only on the kitchen today.  I have an issue in the Master Bedroom that needs attention.  I am notoriously famous for piling things up everywhere I go.  My desk, my craft supplies, clothes or anything and everything.  I do not like putting things away.  So today, I am going to take the time to change the sheets and put my clothes away.  Then I can rearrange the dresser and assemble the 6 cube shelving unit I bought a while back.  If I really get on a roll, there may be pics here next weekend! I am still not feeling the motivation to finish the kitchen, so I am going to change the plans for today after I get those dishes done.  I have some prep cooking to do also.  I want the kitchen clean before I start cooking. I have 3 lbs of ground beef and a whole chicken to work with today when prep cooking.  The beef will make 2 different meals, and the chicken is going into my crock pot. I really love making this recipe with whole chickens, ever since I found it online a while ago.

So, I intend to fully bounce the house today.  That is a Tish-ism.  You can read about it here: Bouncing the House.  The tunes will be cranked, and I will be doing a little singing and dancing while I work.  After all, if it isn’t a little bit fun, I will never get it done!

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 14

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

by | May 17, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

I am retaining water.  The scale is climbing.  I am still fighting a sinus infection and on antibiotics.  I am not scared to eat this week (I see the results of that on the scale) because my insulin and my body have started working together again.  That being said, I still do not feel well.  I am getting my sugars back under control, which is a good sign.  I am still experiencing sinus pain and pressure, my face is still puffy, and the headache is still bouncing around with an aura or two just to keep things interesting.

Where am I headed with my story this week?  Back to the doctor.  My sugars were slipping out of control for a while now, and I was avoiding a trip to the doctor because I thought I was doing something wrong.  I was not eating the healthiest choices and was blaming myself for the sugars being high.

People talk about that little voice in your head.  The negative one.  The one that whispers so quietly you aren’t even really sure if it is in there, but it is.  It’s the one that says my sugars are high because I am failing at my diet and the doctor isn’t going to want to help me anymore because I am not doing my part to take care of myself.  It is whispering that it is OK to try that ice cream because it is a new flavour and once you try it, you won’t wonder about it anymore.  Don’t get me wrong, treats are OK, but they aren’t meant to be an everyday thing in the life of a person with type 2 diabetes.  If I didn’t give in a little once in a while, I would give up and stop caring altogether, and that is not the path I want to walk on.

Another little voice is nagging in the back of my head, telling me that there might be something REALLY wrong.  Like when my knee was infected and my life had to go on pause in order to fight that infection and get better.  My knee still hurts, a little, from time to time.  It is not a muscle pain from any exercise related injury.  It still feels like jello sometimes.  You want to know the scariest part about that whole experience?  They still don’t know why or how it became infected in the first place.

I did what the doctors said.  I stayed as still as possible.  I got better.  I wore bandages for two months on my calves to reduce the fluid in them so I could be fitted for compression stockings.  They work really well because I force myself to exercise.  I have a job where I need to sit for most of my day.  I listen to music in my down time, and I dance in my chair.  I have a stool at my desk to elevate my feet to keep the fluids from pooling in my calves.  I put up my feet and bounce in my chair as much as I can.  Sitting still in a chair all day is not good for anyone.  So I move around to keep the blood pumping, and the music does keep me in a decent mood at work.

I have missed Zumba a lot the last few weeks.  With a migraine, I didn’t go.  With the sinus infection, I didn’t go.  I have decided that I need to revisit the doctor I saw last week.  I am on day 8 of the antibiotics.  Day 10 is on a Friday.  The doctor is only at the clinic Monday to Friday.  Saturday is not a day I want to spend waiting to see a doctor.      I am not getting better fast enough.  I need more help.

When you have issues with weight, it is easier to live in denial about the state of your health than to go to the doctor about it.  It is a vicious cycle.  Eat sleep avoid living and just exist.  If you are morbidly obese like I am (I am fighting for the day I can stop having to use that description for my weight) then it is just that.  It is so much easier to not care and eat whatever you want and be miserable on the inside, faking the happy person you appear to be on the outside.

Because it is all a huge cover up.  Acting.  Pretending everything is OK.  It’s not.  Anybody that has issues with their weight like I do is not happy.  Not truly.  And if you are listening to that little voice and believing it when it says that the junk food will make you happy, you are letting that little voice in your head lie to you.  And you are falling for it every time you listen.

If you are like me, there are discussions that happen with more than one voice in your head at the same time. (That will be a good thing when I am hearing the characters from my book  talk in my head when I write).  I spend more time talking myself out of things than I do talking myself into them.  Because it is easier to do the thing that is not the best choice most of the time.  Easier does not mean better.  If you want something, you have to work for it.  It is easy to be fat.  It is hard work to be healthy.

And then the littlest voice of all whispers that I will still need surgery when I lose the weight because I will have flaps of skin left hanging around.  It is a fight I have been having inside of my head for years.  That one little voice has been working against my wishes to be a healthier person.  It is so quiet, and then it sneaks in and gets a little pushier and louder and then I realize I went off plan again.  I tell myself that I won’t feel guilty about it, but I have layers and layers of guilt protecting my body from the healthier person that I could be.

I have also had a former doctor treat me like a hypochondriac.  I stopped wanting to go to the doctor because he wasn’t listening to me, or taking anything I was telling him seriously.  When he moved away I was lucky that my next doctor was one of the good ones.  He is an advocate for people that try to improve their health, and he was supporting me in my efforts to become a healthier person.

Last month a letter came in the mail.  My current doctor is moving away too.  I am afraid that the next doctor will be another bad one.  So scared that I have been avoiding making an appointment to go, and avoiding my regular blood work as I know the numbers are not going to be good.  Not at all.  I am secretly terrified of what is going to happen when I get another doctor.  That is not how I want to live my life.

So, I am going to the clinic in the morning before work tomorrow.  Not where my new doctor will be, but to the one in the mall where I work.  He diagnosed the sinus infection, and he saw me a little more than a week ago.  I need to feel like trying again.  So I am going to ask for more help.  Because what I am doing now isn’t working, and it is time to try something different.  I want to be better.  I want to get back to living my life, not just merely surviving it.  It is hard to go back to the doctor because I am scared that I will be told to give the antibiotics more time.  Or that he will prescribe the same ones for a longer time.  That is a part of the reason the other doctor thought I was a hypochondriac.  He thought everything that was wrong with me was because of my weight.  He made me doubt myself, and that is why I am having such a hard time with all of this.

My gut tells me that the antibiotics aren’t working.  Tomorrow I will let the doctor know what I think, and I hope that he will help me find another way to feel better.  I hope that a week from now I am back to prep cooking, and Zumba, and feeling like trying to be that healthier person I want to become, again.

Trust Your Gut.

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 14

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 12

by | May 11, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 12

Sometimes I am scared to eat.  I know;  a morbidly obese person is not expected to write those words.  I am so overweight that it could kill me, and I certainly didn’t end up weighing this much by not eating, that is for sure.  But there is this thing I have called type 2 diabetes.

Let’s get it straight.  I am a person that has type 2 diabetes.  The same way I am a person that has thyroid disease.  The same way I am morbidly obese.  The same way I have allergies.  All of these descriptive phrases contribute to different parts of me, but they do not define me.  I think that it is the time that we all take a look at that and really think about it.  Because saying that someone is a diabetic is almost the same as saying they are not a person, because of how you say it.  I am a person that has diabetes.  I am a woman that has blue eyes.  The colour of my eyes does not define me, but it is a part of many things that contribute to me, the person as a whole.  In a world where people are way too quick to label people and judge them, I think it is time to stop doing this.  The world is changing all the time, and people are trying to be more politically correct.  If we all think of each other as people that have many adjectives to describe them, it is a good place to start.  We all have our good qualities and we all have our issues.  Mine are not the same as yours, but we all have issues and good qualities.  That is the common ground we all have together.

Back to being scared to eat.  I am learning how to treat blood sugar lows.  I have learned to drink a juice box, and have a sucker or a candy, and wait.  I then check my sugars again.  If they are responding to the treatment, I stop panicking and move on with my day.  If they don’t, I may go overboard and eat too much candy to get my sugars up, and then I have to figure out what to do to bring them down again.  If I overreact and they are high, it means I am not panicking about them being too low anymore, but that means they are too high.  This is one scenario similar to what I am writing about, except there is another time when I am really scared to eat.  When my blood sugars are high, and I don’t know why.

I am starting to learn what I should eat to bring my blood sugars down.  It is not an easy thing to figure out.  I take insulin, and if you take too much, it is possible to die from an overdose.  I am very scared that this could happen to me.  So I am careful if I have to take more insulin than a regular dose when my sugars are higher than normal.  But how much is too much?  Some days I don’t even know how much I should take.  On those days I either play it safe by not taking too much which is usually not enough,  or I check my sugars every couple of hours to make sure I am not dropping if I take that larger than normal dose.

If my sugars are high and I am not able to get them to a normal level with insulin, that is uncharted territory.  I am fighting with them a lot this week.  I am worried that there is a reason behind them being so high, and for why it seems so hard to get them back under control.  It can be a sign that something else is going on in my body like it is fighting an infection. I will be honest here, I have never seen them as high as they were this past Sunday night.  I took insulin.  Got up the next morning, and they were down, but still high.  I took 2 doses of insulin that were quite high when I added them together, because of how close the doses were taken.  Only after the second dose did I see a change, and it wasn’t drastic, and I didn’t crash with a blood sugar low.  I went to Zumba Monday night, and they were almost within normal range.  I have not had a spike in high blood sugar like that today, but I am STILL fighting to get them under control and keep them within normal range. (I am writing this on Tuesday evening).

When this is happening, I am scared to eat.  I am scared that anything I put into my mouth will cause my sugars to go even higher.  It is not a weight thing.  I am worried that my blood sugars will just keep climbing and I won’t be able to get them back under control.  I know I need to eat.  I know that if I make healthy choices, things will have to change, it is just a matter of time.  But delaying that meal can be detrimental to what could happen.

Let’s say I just don’t eat.  My sugars might spike as my body tries to keep sugar in my bloodstream without the addition of food.  Eventually, the sugars will drop.  I then become a little desperate, hangry, and indecisive.  That combination will eventually lead to my blood sugars dropping.  This is not productive and does lead to a panic when I realize that my sugars are starting to drop.  It is at that time that I reach for an easy meal or snack that may not be the healthiest thing for me to eat, and the roller coaster has fuel to continue.

What I have learned is that if I wake up with a pattern of high blood sugars, I do need to increase my long-acting insulin dose.  A little at a time, until I have normal fasting blood sugars in the morning.  Then I can ease it off.  Protein is supposed to help with this also, and I am trying to find a bedtime snack that does more good than harm.  Throughout the day I have to test frequently, to help sort out what is causing the blood sugars to be high and not normal.  This may cause me to skip a snack because of the level I see when I test.  It also may cause me to delay eating because I am scared that it is only going to make things worse.

And then it happens.  The insulin starts working again, and I am not having blood sugar highs anymore because I am now fighting blood sugar lows.  This is a byproduct of getting them back under control.  When my body decides to accept the insulin, it does it suddenly, and I am scrambling again to get my sugars within normal levels.  If I am not monitoring them constantly during this time, I risk them staying too high if I am not taking enough insulin, or having to lower my doses because my body is responding and I am taking too much insulin.  It is difficult at times to try and outsmart this diabetes that I have, and that is why I am scared to eat sometimes.