Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 19

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 19

by | Jun 30, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 19

I got on the scale this morning.  The number wasn’t as bad as I was worried it would be, but it is still not in twoville.  I knew I would not see good news, but as I expected, there were no surprises there.  I know by how I feel what is happening, without getting on the scale every day.  It had been a while, and I needed a reference.

I am having trouble in my kitchen this week.  There has been an invasion of ants.  I have declared war, and I think we are winning.  It is a slow progress kind of war, and it has distracted me from my personal tasks and goals.

I have not had an ant free day in my kitchen all week.  I am seeing less and less ants, and the ones I saw today seemed to be slower than those in the last few days, so I am tentatively hopeful that this means the war is almost over.  I have not wanted to make anything to eat in my kitchen all week, as a result of this.

My healthy lifestyle has become a casualty of war.  It could have gone in two different directions.  One being I stopped eating anything because I am so grossed out about the ants being in my kitchen.  This is not realistic.  I have to eat.  So I did it again.  I ate take out all week.  Let me tell you, I am not thrilled about this, but I felt like it was the only way I could eat because of the ants.

Is it a legitimate thing to do?  Yes.  Is it an excuse to eat out and go the easy route for the week? Yes.  Is it productive and conducive towards my personal goals for living a healthier lifestyle? No.  Is it a budget friendly option? No.  Is it a logical solution? Maybe.  I write that because when I haven’t been cooking, I have been hunting and cleaning up the countertop that the ants are crawling on.  That means all the hard work I did cleaning the whole winter, my coffee station, and the countertops all have to be emptied and wiped clean AGAIN.  For the millionth time this week.  Ugh.

I have made progress in other areas of my life in the last month.  I have been cleaning and purging stuff.  I have been writing about that in my Weekend Warrior Category.  I am preparing to write books, and have been practising on my blog, getting into the habit of writing.  I have done well with both of these projects, and I can let myself be proud of the progress I am making in those areas.  So why is it OK for me to let myself down in the most important part of my life, my health and well being?  It’s not.

I had a genuine blood sugar low today at work.  My sugars were at 3.9 when I tested, and I was in full panic mode when I did.  I can feel it happening in my body.  I start feeling a wave of uneasiness, and I start to panic.  When it is an actual blood sugar low, I get weak and shaky.  My head and scalp perspire profusely.  I mean buckets.  I get a little confused and have a really hard time focusing. I was in a meeting when I started to feel it happen, and I rushed out asap and tested while chewing up suckers and drinking a juice box.  I got some extra candy from some colleagues, and I overcompensated because I was panicked.  It took me about two to two and a half hours to recover from that episode.  I am much better this evening.

I know why it happened.  I went to Zumba last night, and it had been a few weeks since the last class.  I started to get my regular exercise routine back.  I took my normal amount of insulin this morning.  But my body was doing that thing it does when I am trying to watch what I am doing, and it became sensitive to the insulin again.  It is great that it works better sometimes, but it is not so great when I happen to have that in between adjustment period that causes me to have lows and have to lower my doses of insulin.  Which is also good, because it means that I am achieving better control over my blood sugars.  But what a roller coaster ride that can be!

It is hard to adjust to everything all at once.  I am a fighter, and I am still able to do what needs to be done.  Sometimes I need to remind myself that it is not OK to put my own health and wellness on the bottom of my list.  Because it needs to be as important as everything else I invest my time in.  I tell people all the time that I am tougher than I look.  I believe it.  But I also know that I am a human being and that I am not supposed to be perfect.  All I can do is get up every morning and do the best I can in all aspects of my life.  It is a work in progress, and progress is progress, so I will take it and run with it.  Until I can’t catch my breath.  And then I will keep moving in the right direction.  One step at a time.

#TrustYourGut

 

Weekend Warrior #18

Weekend Warrior #18

by | Jun 24, 2017 | Weekend Warrior

 

 

It’s here!  The first official weekend of the summer!  I am gearing up to run errands and host a BBQ today.  I have been working hard at my Spring Cleaning Challenge, and I am literally at the finish line!  I have made it to the Master Bedroom and Bathroom.

Last weekend, I worked really hard to have the floors done, the guest room ready, and the main bathroom was cleaned.  When I did this, I had to move things out of the way.  I moved them into the master bedroom.  A pile gathered on my bed.  When it was time to crawl into that bed, the only logical place to temporarily store these items was in the sunken bathtub in the master bathroom.

This means I made a lot of progress in most of the house, but not all.  Today I plan to work on that.  The word purge is now in my weekend plans again, and it does not refer to food in any way.

I have been working on this project since last fall.  I started with my clothing.  I then went through the kitchen and didn’t have a lot to purge there, but rather spent time cleaning and organizing.  I have purged my makeup to make room for new makeup.  I am still in the middle of writing about that experience.  Today I plan to purge and organize my craft supplies.

I have decided that I am not going to do this alone.  I have asked a friend to help me with this chore.  It is not going to be a hard thing to do, but it may prove to be difficult.  Remember when I wrote I had purged my makeup?  I gathered it all up and then was unable to throw it out until I bought the new makeup.  I wanted to start with a clean palette, but I was very worried that I would not be able to afford to replace everything, and I decided to not throw it out until I had done the shopping so I would not be left without a critical item for my new makeup collection.

As I wrote, I am working on that story, and I plan to have it published sometime this week.  If the zit I treated that promptly decided to cause a skin reaction to the treatment and blew up over my face would kindly heal and let me feel like I can safely try my new makeup on, that would be fantastic.

When I went through my clothing, I did it all on my own.  I reduced my wardrobe by 50%.  I donated it to a friend who upcycles fabric.  So far, the only items I have really missed were some of the more lightweight tank tops that I gave away.  One of my errands today is to replace those tank tops.  I have some, but I have not had a clothing shopping budget regularly for many years.  We have been working insanely hard on our household budget, and we are making some changes to that.  I am looking forward to the days when I don’t feel guilty about buying a new article of clothing to wear.  Or about buying a new book or magazine.  Things I like to buy from time to time.  Mostly beading magazines, and more recently, a writing magazine.  It will also be useful to know what I have on hand for craft supplies, so I don’t purchase items that I don’t need because I don’t know what I have in my stash.

The last area of my house that needs TLC is my office, a corner of my living room.  I have been building up to getting this area ready for spring cleaning.  It is where I plan to do my writing, and a fitting final task for all of the cleaning I am doing to prepare for writing.  I have organized the desk several times since I moved here, and it is long overdue.  Time to fire up the paper shredder when I am ready to tackle the last big area.  I am really proud of how much I have accomplished this year with my cleaning projects, and although I still have some smaller areas to work on after my deadline, the larger, more complicated projects will be done and over with, so I can feel confident about my home not falling apart when I start writing my book.  Maybe I will even be able to make time for more creative projects after it is all finished.

Phase 2 will be starting when I am settling into writing my book.  With the larger cleaning projects being finished, I will have to switch gears and get the maintenance cleaning done, to keep my home from ever becoming a disaster like it was when I decided to start the spring cleaning for real this year.

I also hope that this weekend is a start of more entertaining at my house.  I am feeling good about it, and not too embarrassed when I look around at the progress I have made here, the last 6 months.  Time to get going and finish this stage, so I can close the chapter of Spring Cleaning 2017, and open a new book to start writing it.

I hope my friend enjoys bouncing the house with me this afternoon, I need the extra push when it comes to purging craft supplies.  She is invited to stay for the BBQ as a thank you for her taking the time to help me out.  What are you working on this weekend?

 

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 19

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 18

by | Jun 22, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 18

Tomorrow.  Monday. The first day of the month.  We have all been there, and we have all promised ourselves that we will do better, but not now.  It is hard when you are addicted to food and addicted to sugar.  It is impossibly hard when you are too lazy to find the way to a healthier lifestyle.  I have written it before, and I will likely write these words again, it is easy to be lazy.

I am told quite frequently that I am too hard on myself.  I have come to accept that quality as something I am.  The truth is, I don’t know how to be any other way.  In my dabblings along the curvy path I am walking beside, around and sometimes hanging upside down from a tree on,  sometimes I cut myself way too much slack.  There is no middle ground when it comes to me and some things.  Some things being food.

I am finding it really hard to stick to staying on plan.  I know, it works.  I know I feel better when I do follow the plan.  I know it is the best thing for me to do.  Yet here I am again, thinking that tomorrow is a new day, for a fresh start.

What is a person supposed to do when this happens?  It is like I am on the side of a mountain in the middle of a mudslide, and in MY world, it is hailing Swedish berries, and all the mud is chocolate mixed with hot fudge, of course.  It is a struggle for most people to eat healthy most of the time.  I find if I give myself a little slack, I tend to give a little more, and a little more, until there is no more slack left, and I am way off track and possibly lost.

I am watching my body change, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worst.  I keep a close eye on my gut, and it does fluctuate, frequently.  I have also noticed that when I do put in the effort to work on me, I am starting to see the shape of the oblique muscles cause dents in my stomach.  I see them, so they are in there, somewhere.  Underneath the curves and fluff.

My chin causes me great concern.  I know what makes it look like that, and I know what fixes it.  You might think that is a little weird or eccentric, but it is true.  If I make GGMS, it gets smaller.  If I hit up chocolate a lot, it collects in my chin.  I kid you not.  I am wearing the chocolates I bought last Christmas in there right now.  I am positive that is what did it.

I did some sweeping and mopping this past week. We were expecting company.  I had a tight, sore back for two days after that.  I didn’t like it, but I didn’t pull anything, and I was able to do most things without any change.  Bending over was horrendous.  The good news is that I feel better now.  The bad news is that I am not convinced that cleaning my floors is good for my health.  They don’t clean themselves, though.

I need to work more at being on plan.  I know this.  It is hard to convince the monster that it doesn’t belong here anymore.  It wants me to dive into the mudslide of chocolate and never come up for air.  Or find a really big straw.

I just spent 2 hours taking the meat from the chicken I cooked.  It was a really big chicken.  I will be making that chicken chili tomorrow.  Or tonight, if I find a second wind.  Either way, the prep work is done, now I just assemble in the pot, and cook it.  That is the thing, though.  It is easy to say I am going to do something, but the prep time is never less than 10 minutes for me.  So that is why I go the easy way sometimes.  Because I take the time to do everything right, and sometimes it takes too long in real life to do what I want to do.  This is another trap down a slippery slope of marshmallow strawberries.  Can you tell I am having a hard time with sugar cravings this week?  I have my favourites, and sometimes I have to give in a little before it becomes a big mistake.

Goals for the upcoming week?  Find out if Ginger Juice by The Ginger People is available locally, or if I have to order it online.  I am using frozen ginger cubes in my GGMS now, but I would like to add the juice if I can find it.  I am wondering if I will like it better than the frozen cubes.  I found the powder too gritty, and want to make the GGMS the best I can.  I already know I LOVE it with Black Cherry Berry Tea by Celestial Seasonings.  So good!  I make the basic recipe and add the tea bags to steep, and drink over ice.  Not early in the day, I would run all day long.  I also need to make the Shrinker.  Another tea drink, made with oolong tea.  The recipes can be found here and I have tried most of the recipes on this page.  Good Girl Moonshine and The Shrinker are the two I am referring to in this story.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I am going to make healthy food to eat.  One day at a time.  Listen to the voice of your inner beauty, and let it help you shine!

#TrustYourGut

Weekend Warrior #18

Weekend Warrior # 17

by | Jun 17, 2017 | Weekend Warrior

Egads! I am up REALLY early on a Saturday morning.  There must be a reason.  Oh yes, there is.  A friend wanted to go Yard Sale Shopping today.  It is a bit rainy, so we may not do a lot of that, but we have errands, and he doesn’t have a car.  I am trying to make more time for my friends, as they are important in my life.

As soon as we are done, Operation Spring Cleaning is going to be completed.  I am expecting guests this month, starting tomorrow!  I will still have some to do, but today will be the day for the final push.  I need to be ready.  My parents are coming, and I have not seen them in two years.  I am over the moon excited to see them.

I have a plan.  I thought it up when I was supposed to be sleeping last night.  I will start in the guest room, then the bathrooms.  After that, the floors will need cleaning.  All of that will take time, and I hope I have more time when I finish all of the chores I have for today.

My Makeup Blog story is in the draft phase.  In the next 2 weeks, I plan to publish it.  I know it has been taking a really long time for this, but I am writing it without pictures.  When I have everything organized after cleaning the Master bedroom,  I will then have a place for all of my new makeup, and then I can try it out.  See, I DO have a plan, and I have been buying bits and pieces of organization supplies along the way.  Maybe today I will find something to help with that.

I wanted to write this early this weekend so I can focus on what I need to do.  I am taking on this weekend with a full, running start, and fueling myself with coffee.  Lots of coffee.

I hope you are all having a productive, fun-filled, happy weekend!  I am going to give it my all, and then some.  What are you doing this weekend?  What do you do to prepare for guests that visit?  Let me know!  Maybe I can learn something new!

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 19

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 17

by | Jun 15, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 17

You know when you want to eat something, and you know what you should eat and you know what you want to eat and you get the easier thing because it is easier and you already are so hungry that you don’t want to spend the extra ten minutes making the better thing to eat because you are hungry right now?  I feel like that a lot.  This has been another week of grab the easy thing because I don’t have enough food prep cooked, even though I cooked a chicken in my slow cooker the night before last.

Tonight I will make something.  I am thinking about making THM Wicked White Chili.  I have made this once before, with a few small adjustments, and it was really great!  So if I can get it in a pot before I go to bed, and get it in some mason jars in the fridge so it is ready to grab in the morning for my lunch, I will be on my way to being back on track, with minimal effort.  That is something I can totally get up and do.

After supper.  I have an errand to run, and that means I leave the house.  One of the best tips I have for living on a budget is to not leave the house.  The second I do, I know I am going to spend money.  I have done a lot of that over the last 20 years.  It is finally starting to pay off and add up.  Yes, I still have a budget, and yes, I am still working on it, but we have a little more breathing room at the moment.  So I don’t have to stay at home ALL OF THE TIME anymore.

If I don’t manage to make the chili tonight, I will prep some of the chicken for sandwiches tomorrow.  Or to go with my spinach in a salad.  I have some blue cheese dressing that is great with spinach.  Cucumber and tomatoes, green onion, and there is my salad.  I think that is what I will end up doing.  I have been known to eat the mini cucumber “straight up” like I picked it fresh from the garden.  I also have taken a knife to work to prep my salad during my lunch break, right before eating it.  I always have people looking at my lunches, especially my homemade leftover lunches.  I am not a PB & J kind of a lunch packer.  I like having food prepped to eat and ready to grab on my way out the door in the mornings.  It can be something I made for the whole week as I don’t always share my lunch with my husband.

The whole point of getting the chicken and popping it in the crock pot was to have the meat ready to go.  And it is in the fridge, still in the crock pot.  That is as far as I got.  I have been making excuses lately for not prep cooking, and I am going to have to stop doing that.  Yes,  it is easier to go get fast food.  But I have to keep reminding myself that I really enjoyed that chili the last time I made it, and I know it will be really good.  I made the chicken, so now I have to eat it. If my husband wasn’t a fan of this recipe, I would use up the spinach in the chili.  He liked it, so I am going to have to use it another way, maybe with scrambled eggs.

THM Wicked White Chili Recipe

I made it in a pot on the stove.  I used white kidney beans as I could not find the beans the recipe calls for.  I halved the measurements on the cumin and the chili powder.  I did not add any Greek yogurt.  I do not know where to get the chilies and tomatoes mixed, so I add mild chilies and extra stewed tomatoes.  I followed the rest of the recipe and it was delightful.

I go through phases.  Sometimes I try really hard to stay on plan, and other times I just make the wrong choice.  It is really all up to me, and if you read my story a few weeks ago, the monster has been louder again this week.  It wants fast food and junk food and all of the things that got me to the weight I am at today.  Sometimes I choose the wrong thing to eat because I am self-sabotaging my goals of a healthier lifestyle.  I have to keep fighting with myself, for myself.  I am the only one that can make those choices, and I really need to get serious about it.  Again.  It feels like a roller coaster at times, I am sometimes on track and doing well, and then the bottom falls out from under me and I stray from where I need to be going.

Right now, I can only imagine what it would be like to have lost the weight I need to lose.  I need to do it, for me, and for my health.  I need to keep reminding myself that I am worth the better choices and that I am worth the extra time and planning that prep cooking takes.  Otherwise, I will have to live with the consequences, and that is not how I want to be living my life.

Since I had the sinus infection, I have been needing to use my puffer a little more frequently.  I do find that it is hard to take a deep breath sometimes.  It has helped, and I am not using it on a daily, or even on a weekly basis, but sometimes I find my chest feeling tight, and I need to use it.  I guess that means I need to plan a real appointment with a doctor at the clinic.  I do not yet have a new family doctor.  I know it is important to get the appointment scheduled and go get it over with.  The anxiety is still making me hesitate, but I know, deep down, that I need to make the effort to take care of myself.  So the appointment needs to be scheduled, and then I need to go.  I think it is time for that lovely once a year check up, and that is not something anyone should skip.  If I let it go much longer I will need to get my prescriptions refilled, anyway.  So there is a reason to go soon, even if it is just for that.

I didn’t know how much negativity was creeping into my life.  I mean, I was so used to listening to the monster inside that I didn’t even realize that negative self-talk was happening.  I am trying to listen for the inner beauty talk.  It is very, very quiet.  I need to listen harder.  I know it is in there.  And it is crying to be let out of the cage the monster locked it in.  Writing that just broke my heart, a little.  Maybe the crack will be enough to let the inner beauty escape the cage, and find her voice.

#TrustYourGut