Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 15

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 15

by | Jun 1, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 15

Up to now, I have been sharing my story and the stories of others with their issues regarding weight.  That means if you are reading this week’s story, and have been since I started writing, you know that I am struggling.  Sometimes week to week other times day to day, but it could literally be bite to bite.  I wake up thinking about food.  I go to bed thinking about how tired I am or am not, and this is usually related to what I ate that day.  When I dream about food, it wakes me up to go test my blood sugar.  If it is OK, then it was just a dream.  Sometimes it is my body telling me that I need to get a glass of juice.

Today was no different than any other Wednesday.  I got up, went to work, went to Zumba, and then I came home.  Where I knew I had meat in the fridge, both cooked and ready to be cooked, but I could not bring myself to start making a healthy meal.  I wanted the easy way out.  I sent an SOS to my husband for fast food.  I was tired when I got home today.  Bone tired.  I decided that I would nap until he arrived home.

Sometimes it is the only way to accomplish everything that you need to do, taking the easy way.  But taking the easy way is not the healthy way to live.  I am living proof of that.  The easy way is not the path less travelled.  The easy way is the way to childhood obesity and the epidemic that I happen to be a statistic of, the Type 2 Diabetes crisis that is blowing up all over the world right now.  If you continually choose the easy meal, the easy snacks, the sugar, the preservatives, the chemicals and the toxins you will not live a healthy life.  It isn’t possible.  It’s called junk food for a reason.

What is the alternative? Hard work.  If you put in the time and effort into yourself, it will pay off.  It doesn’t matter if you stray from the path when life happens.  What matters is that you value yourself enough to go back to the path you have chosen to follow because you strive towards living a healthier lifestyle.  There are always going to be days when you are too tired to cook.  I have had days where I am so tired and hungry that I can’t even decide which restaurant I want to go to.  The main thing is that I don’t give up forever.  I keep trying.  I keep pushing myself to do better.  And I keep celebrating every little success along the way.

I cannot stress the importance of planning ahead and prep cooking enough.  If I had made that casserole last night, I would have had supper planned, and this helps me to make healthy choices.  Sometimes I am too busy.  I planned my lunch today but found I was very cold at work, so I bought soup and BBQ chips to give my circulation a little kick in the pants with some mild spices.  Would I do that again tomorrow?  Not unless I felt the exact same way I did today.  I am usually bundled up in layers at work, but there are limits to what I am able to wear and what they will allow me to wear to stay warm at my desk.  Today I was maxed out on layers, and still cold.  I did what I needed to do to adapt to the day.  It worked.  Tomorrow may be a different story, yesterday I found it a little cold, but tolerable.  Today I could not get warmed up.  This is a side effect of having thyroid disease, sometimes I am cold when I should be warm.

When I am out of ideas for lunch, I plan scrambled eggs and cheese.  I can cook it in the microwave, and I can eat vegetables with it.  I almost made that for lunch today, but I changed my mind and made good old PB&J on sprouted bread.  I am not the biggest fan of this sandwich, so I am using regular peanut butter.  I bought the kind that has no sugar,  which must be stored in the fridge.  It was left too long and dried out.  So for the few times that I make it, I am using regular peanut butter.  When I decide to make something that has a need for peanut butter that is on the plan, I will buy more that is made with just peanuts and salt.  I use sugar-free jam.  The sprouted bread is on the plan.  2 out of 3 ain’t bad, to quote a song by Meatloaf.  I ate my sandwich after Zumba class, to hold me over until the fast food was here to eat.

If you are struggling like me, then neither of us is alone.  It can be a solitary journey if you are hiding behind closed doors or sneaking around to feed the monster inside.  I am calling it what it is.  A monster that is obsessed with food, and thrives off of sugar.  It does not mean that I am a monster.  It does mean that I have to fight it. The harder I fight, the smaller it will be.  It will reflect on the outside what is happening on the inside.  And that is where the beauty hides.  The beauty that is inside all of us needs to be nurtured and loved.  It will flourish and bloom if we give it the attention that it deserves.  When this happens, you start to glow from the inside out, and the monster shrinks inside.  Just as the monster scares your inner beauty, the glow from that inner beauty outshines the monster if we let it.  As someone who loves to sparkle and shine, I am going to focus on that for the next week, and see where it takes me.

Trust Your Gut is the weekly series that I have decided to publish on Thursdays.  I think it is time to  give it a hashtag of its own.  Help me to get the word out to other people that may need to read these stories and know that they are not alone.  Help me to reach out to other people that want to help by sharing their own stories.  All it takes is an idea to create something big that matters and can help people.  I am starting that now.
Together we can help people, just like you and me.

#TrustYourGutThursday and #TYGT

Weekend Warrior # 14

Weekend Warrior # 14

by | May 29, 2017 | Weekend Warrior

I am so PUMPED after this weekend!  I HULK SMASHED IT!  Without turning green and angry!  What a busy, productive weekend!

Friday night I was at Relay for Life, specifically for the Zumba at Relay.  Expect a story this week to tell you all about that.  It had some real special moments, and there are some great pics to share.

Saturday was cool and rainy and drab.  Hubby worked this weekend, so I got up and got the car.  Got a few groceries on the way home and got some cleaning done.  I did some laundry and ran the dishwasher.  Nothing picture worthy.  I found out that I lost a pillow sham (and the puns did find my post about it on my personal Facebook page).  This caused a full stop on the kitchen cleaning and started a full-on search for the missing sham.  No house elves were found wearing said sham, either.  The search continues.  Maybe, just maybe it is in the towel area over the washer and dryer?  It was not in the linen closet where it should have been (I am in the middle of reorganizing that mess since yesterday) or maybe it is under the bed ( I tried to look but with my knees, I try not to get down on my knees on the floor) and I am running out of places to look.  I am sure it will reappear.  I am crossing my fingers about that one.

Sham on me my cousin wrote.   It was never a real pillow it was just a … 😉 was left by another friend.  The puns keep me laughing while I tear my home apart to find the culprit of the whole sham.

I got inspired while in the master bathroom working on the linen closet to do something I have been thinking about for a long time.  I have been wanting to purge my makeup.  I do not wear makeup every day, but as a collector, I had gathered quite a stash.  It was neatly organized in 3 wicker baskets on my counter, gathering dust.  I panicked about tossing it all because I might need some of it for a special occasion or something in the future.  My budget does not always allow for this type of purchase.  The last time I bought makeup it was January 2016.  I have had some product since the wedding in 2010 or even before that.

I will be writing a separate blog about that adventure.  It happened Sunday.  I got up and put a roast beef in the oven right away.  I set the timer for 3 hours, it was frozen going into the pan.  I had planned to get ready and go to church before the makeup shopping event.  I mean, it could have been an event, it was a big thing for me.  I decided that I did not want to rush, and had breakfast and got ready for my day.  I postponed church until this evening (I actually went and was not late).  The makeup event happened-details will be in a separate blog.

I got home, sliced the beef, made sandwiches, ate 1.5 sandwiches and rushed out to church.  I then fit in a few small errands on the way home, finished the last half a sandwich I made earlier, made 2 sandwiches for my husband, picked him up from work and rushed off to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2.  It was a fun movie.

I have yet to finish my next submission for a well-known publication that has a deadline this week.  That will be tomorrow’s priority.  I have started writing it already, but it is not ready for the beta reader yet.

There you have it!  Non-stop, action-packed, super busy weekend!  I got some cleaning done, in tandem, from one end of the mini home to the other, all day Saturday.  I want to an extra Zumba class, for a good cause.  Spent time with friends Friday and again today.  Different friends on the different days.  I even fit in a movie with my husband to finish it off! Sorry, I’m a little late getting this one published this week, this is the first chance I had because I wanted a productive AND fun weekend to write about.  Mission accomplished!  HULK SMASHED IT!

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 15

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 14

by | May 25, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 14

Getting back on track is easier said than done.  It takes determination and effort.  I have missed a few Zumba classes.  I went today.  I was eating anything and everything, the last few weeks.  I prep cooked earlier in the week.  My insulin is now working well enough to lower my doses again.  Some days it is a fight just to get motivated to do what I should be doing.  Other days I feel prepared to tackle everything.  I am gearing up for another run at living a healthier lifestyle.

Last week I was watching the scale climb.  This week it is starting to go down.  I am working hard to try and stay on plan as much as I can, and it is working.

The last few months I have been consciously trying to drink more water.  It is a good idea, not just for me, but for everyone.  It would be better if I enjoyed drinking water.  I have to force myself to drink water, sometimes.  I have a drinking buddy, my straw!  I need to get it in quickly or I won’t drink as much water in a day.  Straws certainly help with that.

It is time to get out the measuring tape again.  Still, nothing to report.  With the last few weeks of being sick, I will have to take the number on the scale moving down as my encouragement.  It is good that it is going the right way again.

My heart rate was steady in class.  I do love that I can check it.  Now I have to keep a better focus on what I eat and how much insulin I am taking because my body has come around to responding to it well, again.  That happens when I work hard.  I feel better so I want to do more and I do that and I feel even better.  It is possible.  Just not when I am sick. Everything goes out the window when I am sick.

I did go to the doctor last week.  He gave me a different antibiotic.  I bought a probiotic to take with it because we all know the warnings about what happens when you take one antibiotic, and now I have had to take two.  It has been a little challenging to keep track of when I have to take what medicine.  The good news is that it appears to be working, and worth the trouble.

This week I am feeling more optimistic.  When I feel like doing things, there is a better chance that they will get done.  I am finally feeling like trying again.  So lesson learned.  When my sugars are skyrocketing out of control, it is not me, or what I am or am not eating; I am probably sick.  Which is good to know, because I don’t remember this happening when I was off work with my infected knee.  There is a good reason for that. Painkillers.  I was on some heavy-duty painkillers.

I am sleeping better this week.  Quality sleep is also important in the struggle to live a healthier lifestyle.  If you are well rested, it will boost the energy.  Again, you can do more.  It can snowball in the right direction.  It is happening for me right now.  It can happen to you too.  If you need help, ask. Don’t be afraid.  If you don’t ask for help, it might be too late.  We are all worth helping.  We are all worth loving.  Believe it.  When you believe that you are worth investing your own time and energy into, good things will happen for you too. One change becomes two, then three and so on.  What change are you going to work on this week?

 

 

Why I use a Pedometer in Zumba Class

Why I use a Pedometer in Zumba Class

by | May 22, 2017 | Weekend Warrior

Surprise at Zumba

A while back someone gave me a smart band to wear at Zumba Class.  I already had a pedometer, but this levels it up for me.  It also keeps track of my heart rate, which I also use now that I can.

It has been helpful to keep an eye on my heart rate.  I am able to work out a little harder because I know when I check it, the smart band will tell me if I am working my heart too hard, or not enough.

I report my steps on the Zumba page also.  When I started, I was told you can get up to 5,000 steps in a Zumba Class.  As there is a movement in the world to get a minimum of 10,000 steps every day and walk your way to a healthier lifestyle, getting 50% of those steps done in an hour is a HUGE ADVANTAGE.  So if you are thinking that it is just another dance aerobics class, you are setting your standards for Zumba too low.

I average around 4,000 steps in a class.  Sometimes less, sometimes more.  My goal is to have it increase to the 5,000 steps (or more).  Since I got the smart band, another member of the Zumba crew is using my pedometer in class.  She is averaging 5,300 steps a class.  I have got to say, she is definitely in the Zumba Zone.  It is absolutely possible, and realistic to aim for 5,000 steps while in a Zumba class.

What else do I love about Zumba?  The Zumba Crew, the music, dancing, and having fun!  I don’t do all the moves, I’m not always confident that I can do them all.  I am changing how much I do all the time.  Some days I push myself.  Some days just being there and going through the motions is all I can do.  But I go, and I participate, however I can.

Sometimes I have to stop and check my blood sugars.  Most of the time, they are normal.  If they are low, it means I have to drink a juice box before continuing my workout.  If they are still low after that, it means I need candy and to lower my insulin dose before the next class.

I have missed a few classes this spring because I have been sick.  Nothing serious, but I was not able to go in the last few weeks.  I look forward to going back this week.  Monday is Victoria Day so the next class will be Wednesday.  If I am feeling better, I may just push myself to hit 5,000 steps.  It is something to work towards, and when I get there, I will aim higher.

How do you motivate yourself to exercise?

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 15

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

by | May 17, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

I am retaining water.  The scale is climbing.  I am still fighting a sinus infection and on antibiotics.  I am not scared to eat this week (I see the results of that on the scale) because my insulin and my body have started working together again.  That being said, I still do not feel well.  I am getting my sugars back under control, which is a good sign.  I am still experiencing sinus pain and pressure, my face is still puffy, and the headache is still bouncing around with an aura or two just to keep things interesting.

Where am I headed with my story this week?  Back to the doctor.  My sugars were slipping out of control for a while now, and I was avoiding a trip to the doctor because I thought I was doing something wrong.  I was not eating the healthiest choices and was blaming myself for the sugars being high.

People talk about that little voice in your head.  The negative one.  The one that whispers so quietly you aren’t even really sure if it is in there, but it is.  It’s the one that says my sugars are high because I am failing at my diet and the doctor isn’t going to want to help me anymore because I am not doing my part to take care of myself.  It is whispering that it is OK to try that ice cream because it is a new flavour and once you try it, you won’t wonder about it anymore.  Don’t get me wrong, treats are OK, but they aren’t meant to be an everyday thing in the life of a person with type 2 diabetes.  If I didn’t give in a little once in a while, I would give up and stop caring altogether, and that is not the path I want to walk on.

Another little voice is nagging in the back of my head, telling me that there might be something REALLY wrong.  Like when my knee was infected and my life had to go on pause in order to fight that infection and get better.  My knee still hurts, a little, from time to time.  It is not a muscle pain from any exercise related injury.  It still feels like jello sometimes.  You want to know the scariest part about that whole experience?  They still don’t know why or how it became infected in the first place.

I did what the doctors said.  I stayed as still as possible.  I got better.  I wore bandages for two months on my calves to reduce the fluid in them so I could be fitted for compression stockings.  They work really well because I force myself to exercise.  I have a job where I need to sit for most of my day.  I listen to music in my down time, and I dance in my chair.  I have a stool at my desk to elevate my feet to keep the fluids from pooling in my calves.  I put up my feet and bounce in my chair as much as I can.  Sitting still in a chair all day is not good for anyone.  So I move around to keep the blood pumping, and the music does keep me in a decent mood at work.

I have missed Zumba a lot the last few weeks.  With a migraine, I didn’t go.  With the sinus infection, I didn’t go.  I have decided that I need to revisit the doctor I saw last week.  I am on day 8 of the antibiotics.  Day 10 is on a Friday.  The doctor is only at the clinic Monday to Friday.  Saturday is not a day I want to spend waiting to see a doctor.      I am not getting better fast enough.  I need more help.

When you have issues with weight, it is easier to live in denial about the state of your health than to go to the doctor about it.  It is a vicious cycle.  Eat sleep avoid living and just exist.  If you are morbidly obese like I am (I am fighting for the day I can stop having to use that description for my weight) then it is just that.  It is so much easier to not care and eat whatever you want and be miserable on the inside, faking the happy person you appear to be on the outside.

Because it is all a huge cover up.  Acting.  Pretending everything is OK.  It’s not.  Anybody that has issues with their weight like I do is not happy.  Not truly.  And if you are listening to that little voice and believing it when it says that the junk food will make you happy, you are letting that little voice in your head lie to you.  And you are falling for it every time you listen.

If you are like me, there are discussions that happen with more than one voice in your head at the same time. (That will be a good thing when I am hearing the characters from my book  talk in my head when I write).  I spend more time talking myself out of things than I do talking myself into them.  Because it is easier to do the thing that is not the best choice most of the time.  Easier does not mean better.  If you want something, you have to work for it.  It is easy to be fat.  It is hard work to be healthy.

And then the littlest voice of all whispers that I will still need surgery when I lose the weight because I will have flaps of skin left hanging around.  It is a fight I have been having inside of my head for years.  That one little voice has been working against my wishes to be a healthier person.  It is so quiet, and then it sneaks in and gets a little pushier and louder and then I realize I went off plan again.  I tell myself that I won’t feel guilty about it, but I have layers and layers of guilt protecting my body from the healthier person that I could be.

I have also had a former doctor treat me like a hypochondriac.  I stopped wanting to go to the doctor because he wasn’t listening to me, or taking anything I was telling him seriously.  When he moved away I was lucky that my next doctor was one of the good ones.  He is an advocate for people that try to improve their health, and he was supporting me in my efforts to become a healthier person.

Last month a letter came in the mail.  My current doctor is moving away too.  I am afraid that the next doctor will be another bad one.  So scared that I have been avoiding making an appointment to go, and avoiding my regular blood work as I know the numbers are not going to be good.  Not at all.  I am secretly terrified of what is going to happen when I get another doctor.  That is not how I want to live my life.

So, I am going to the clinic in the morning before work tomorrow.  Not where my new doctor will be, but to the one in the mall where I work.  He diagnosed the sinus infection, and he saw me a little more than a week ago.  I need to feel like trying again.  So I am going to ask for more help.  Because what I am doing now isn’t working, and it is time to try something different.  I want to be better.  I want to get back to living my life, not just merely surviving it.  It is hard to go back to the doctor because I am scared that I will be told to give the antibiotics more time.  Or that he will prescribe the same ones for a longer time.  That is a part of the reason the other doctor thought I was a hypochondriac.  He thought everything that was wrong with me was because of my weight.  He made me doubt myself, and that is why I am having such a hard time with all of this.

My gut tells me that the antibiotics aren’t working.  Tomorrow I will let the doctor know what I think, and I hope that he will help me find another way to feel better.  I hope that a week from now I am back to prep cooking, and Zumba, and feeling like trying to be that healthier person I want to become, again.

Trust Your Gut.