Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

by | May 17, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

I am retaining water.  The scale is climbing.  I am still fighting a sinus infection and on antibiotics.  I am not scared to eat this week (I see the results of that on the scale) because my insulin and my body have started working together again.  That being said, I still do not feel well.  I am getting my sugars back under control, which is a good sign.  I am still experiencing sinus pain and pressure, my face is still puffy, and the headache is still bouncing around with an aura or two just to keep things interesting.

Where am I headed with my story this week?  Back to the doctor.  My sugars were slipping out of control for a while now, and I was avoiding a trip to the doctor because I thought I was doing something wrong.  I was not eating the healthiest choices and was blaming myself for the sugars being high.

People talk about that little voice in your head.  The negative one.  The one that whispers so quietly you aren’t even really sure if it is in there, but it is.  It’s the one that says my sugars are high because I am failing at my diet and the doctor isn’t going to want to help me anymore because I am not doing my part to take care of myself.  It is whispering that it is OK to try that ice cream because it is a new flavour and once you try it, you won’t wonder about it anymore.  Don’t get me wrong, treats are OK, but they aren’t meant to be an everyday thing in the life of a person with type 2 diabetes.  If I didn’t give in a little once in a while, I would give up and stop caring altogether, and that is not the path I want to walk on.

Another little voice is nagging in the back of my head, telling me that there might be something REALLY wrong.  Like when my knee was infected and my life had to go on pause in order to fight that infection and get better.  My knee still hurts, a little, from time to time.  It is not a muscle pain from any exercise related injury.  It still feels like jello sometimes.  You want to know the scariest part about that whole experience?  They still don’t know why or how it became infected in the first place.

I did what the doctors said.  I stayed as still as possible.  I got better.  I wore bandages for two months on my calves to reduce the fluid in them so I could be fitted for compression stockings.  They work really well because I force myself to exercise.  I have a job where I need to sit for most of my day.  I listen to music in my down time, and I dance in my chair.  I have a stool at my desk to elevate my feet to keep the fluids from pooling in my calves.  I put up my feet and bounce in my chair as much as I can.  Sitting still in a chair all day is not good for anyone.  So I move around to keep the blood pumping, and the music does keep me in a decent mood at work.

I have missed Zumba a lot the last few weeks.  With a migraine, I didn’t go.  With the sinus infection, I didn’t go.  I have decided that I need to revisit the doctor I saw last week.  I am on day 8 of the antibiotics.  Day 10 is on a Friday.  The doctor is only at the clinic Monday to Friday.  Saturday is not a day I want to spend waiting to see a doctor.      I am not getting better fast enough.  I need more help.

When you have issues with weight, it is easier to live in denial about the state of your health than to go to the doctor about it.  It is a vicious cycle.  Eat sleep avoid living and just exist.  If you are morbidly obese like I am (I am fighting for the day I can stop having to use that description for my weight) then it is just that.  It is so much easier to not care and eat whatever you want and be miserable on the inside, faking the happy person you appear to be on the outside.

Because it is all a huge cover up.  Acting.  Pretending everything is OK.  It’s not.  Anybody that has issues with their weight like I do is not happy.  Not truly.  And if you are listening to that little voice and believing it when it says that the junk food will make you happy, you are letting that little voice in your head lie to you.  And you are falling for it every time you listen.

If you are like me, there are discussions that happen with more than one voice in your head at the same time. (That will be a good thing when I am hearing the characters from my book  talk in my head when I write).  I spend more time talking myself out of things than I do talking myself into them.  Because it is easier to do the thing that is not the best choice most of the time.  Easier does not mean better.  If you want something, you have to work for it.  It is easy to be fat.  It is hard work to be healthy.

And then the littlest voice of all whispers that I will still need surgery when I lose the weight because I will have flaps of skin left hanging around.  It is a fight I have been having inside of my head for years.  That one little voice has been working against my wishes to be a healthier person.  It is so quiet, and then it sneaks in and gets a little pushier and louder and then I realize I went off plan again.  I tell myself that I won’t feel guilty about it, but I have layers and layers of guilt protecting my body from the healthier person that I could be.

I have also had a former doctor treat me like a hypochondriac.  I stopped wanting to go to the doctor because he wasn’t listening to me, or taking anything I was telling him seriously.  When he moved away I was lucky that my next doctor was one of the good ones.  He is an advocate for people that try to improve their health, and he was supporting me in my efforts to become a healthier person.

Last month a letter came in the mail.  My current doctor is moving away too.  I am afraid that the next doctor will be another bad one.  So scared that I have been avoiding making an appointment to go, and avoiding my regular blood work as I know the numbers are not going to be good.  Not at all.  I am secretly terrified of what is going to happen when I get another doctor.  That is not how I want to live my life.

So, I am going to the clinic in the morning before work tomorrow.  Not where my new doctor will be, but to the one in the mall where I work.  He diagnosed the sinus infection, and he saw me a little more than a week ago.  I need to feel like trying again.  So I am going to ask for more help.  Because what I am doing now isn’t working, and it is time to try something different.  I want to be better.  I want to get back to living my life, not just merely surviving it.  It is hard to go back to the doctor because I am scared that I will be told to give the antibiotics more time.  Or that he will prescribe the same ones for a longer time.  That is a part of the reason the other doctor thought I was a hypochondriac.  He thought everything that was wrong with me was because of my weight.  He made me doubt myself, and that is why I am having such a hard time with all of this.

My gut tells me that the antibiotics aren’t working.  Tomorrow I will let the doctor know what I think, and I hope that he will help me find another way to feel better.  I hope that a week from now I am back to prep cooking, and Zumba, and feeling like trying to be that healthier person I want to become, again.

Trust Your Gut.

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 12

by | May 11, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 12

Sometimes I am scared to eat.  I know;  a morbidly obese person is not expected to write those words.  I am so overweight that it could kill me, and I certainly didn’t end up weighing this much by not eating, that is for sure.  But there is this thing I have called type 2 diabetes.

Let’s get it straight.  I am a person that has type 2 diabetes.  The same way I am a person that has thyroid disease.  The same way I am morbidly obese.  The same way I have allergies.  All of these descriptive phrases contribute to different parts of me, but they do not define me.  I think that it is the time that we all take a look at that and really think about it.  Because saying that someone is a diabetic is almost the same as saying they are not a person, because of how you say it.  I am a person that has diabetes.  I am a woman that has blue eyes.  The colour of my eyes does not define me, but it is a part of many things that contribute to me, the person as a whole.  In a world where people are way too quick to label people and judge them, I think it is time to stop doing this.  The world is changing all the time, and people are trying to be more politically correct.  If we all think of each other as people that have many adjectives to describe them, it is a good place to start.  We all have our good qualities and we all have our issues.  Mine are not the same as yours, but we all have issues and good qualities.  That is the common ground we all have together.

Back to being scared to eat.  I am learning how to treat blood sugar lows.  I have learned to drink a juice box, and have a sucker or a candy, and wait.  I then check my sugars again.  If they are responding to the treatment, I stop panicking and move on with my day.  If they don’t, I may go overboard and eat too much candy to get my sugars up, and then I have to figure out what to do to bring them down again.  If I overreact and they are high, it means I am not panicking about them being too low anymore, but that means they are too high.  This is one scenario similar to what I am writing about, except there is another time when I am really scared to eat.  When my blood sugars are high, and I don’t know why.

I am starting to learn what I should eat to bring my blood sugars down.  It is not an easy thing to figure out.  I take insulin, and if you take too much, it is possible to die from an overdose.  I am very scared that this could happen to me.  So I am careful if I have to take more insulin than a regular dose when my sugars are higher than normal.  But how much is too much?  Some days I don’t even know how much I should take.  On those days I either play it safe by not taking too much which is usually not enough,  or I check my sugars every couple of hours to make sure I am not dropping if I take that larger than normal dose.

If my sugars are high and I am not able to get them to a normal level with insulin, that is uncharted territory.  I am fighting with them a lot this week.  I am worried that there is a reason behind them being so high, and for why it seems so hard to get them back under control.  It can be a sign that something else is going on in my body like it is fighting an infection. I will be honest here, I have never seen them as high as they were this past Sunday night.  I took insulin.  Got up the next morning, and they were down, but still high.  I took 2 doses of insulin that were quite high when I added them together, because of how close the doses were taken.  Only after the second dose did I see a change, and it wasn’t drastic, and I didn’t crash with a blood sugar low.  I went to Zumba Monday night, and they were almost within normal range.  I have not had a spike in high blood sugar like that today, but I am STILL fighting to get them under control and keep them within normal range. (I am writing this on Tuesday evening).

When this is happening, I am scared to eat.  I am scared that anything I put into my mouth will cause my sugars to go even higher.  It is not a weight thing.  I am worried that my blood sugars will just keep climbing and I won’t be able to get them back under control.  I know I need to eat.  I know that if I make healthy choices, things will have to change, it is just a matter of time.  But delaying that meal can be detrimental to what could happen.

Let’s say I just don’t eat.  My sugars might spike as my body tries to keep sugar in my bloodstream without the addition of food.  Eventually, the sugars will drop.  I then become a little desperate, hangry, and indecisive.  That combination will eventually lead to my blood sugars dropping.  This is not productive and does lead to a panic when I realize that my sugars are starting to drop.  It is at that time that I reach for an easy meal or snack that may not be the healthiest thing for me to eat, and the roller coaster has fuel to continue.

What I have learned is that if I wake up with a pattern of high blood sugars, I do need to increase my long-acting insulin dose.  A little at a time, until I have normal fasting blood sugars in the morning.  Then I can ease it off.  Protein is supposed to help with this also, and I am trying to find a bedtime snack that does more good than harm.  Throughout the day I have to test frequently, to help sort out what is causing the blood sugars to be high and not normal.  This may cause me to skip a snack because of the level I see when I test.  It also may cause me to delay eating because I am scared that it is only going to make things worse.

And then it happens.  The insulin starts working again, and I am not having blood sugar highs anymore because I am now fighting blood sugar lows.  This is a byproduct of getting them back under control.  When my body decides to accept the insulin, it does it suddenly, and I am scrambling again to get my sugars within normal levels.  If I am not monitoring them constantly during this time, I risk them staying too high if I am not taking enough insulin, or having to lower my doses because my body is responding and I am taking too much insulin.  It is difficult at times to try and outsmart this diabetes that I have, and that is why I am scared to eat sometimes.

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 11

by | May 4, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 11

I bought my first tankini. I went to one store and tried on the one piece swimsuits.  I was disappointed.  So I had to go outside of my comfort zone.  The people working there were helpful.  They told me that the best thing about a 2 piece was that if you had to go to the bathroom, it was a lot easier.  I thought about that and decided to try on a tankini.

The style I chose has a tank top and shorts.  Everything is still covered.  Just like a normal bathing suit.  The shorts are comfortable.  The top was a challenge.  I need support, but didn’t find the right kind in the first few tops I tried on.  Support in a swimsuit = constrictive.  It felt too tight.  So I kept trying on different tops until I found one that fit right in that area.

Then it was the wrong style.  Of course.  So the search continued.  I settled on a striped one that looks just like a tank top.  Then I went swimming.  The top floats!  I didn’t want one that did that, and I was assured that they don’t do that now.  That was my main reason for wanting a one piece.  I was a little paranoid at first.  There is a built-in bikini support in the top.  So I just fussed with it a lot but had a good time swimming.  It will be OK for Aquacise, I think.  It will take some getting used to but I think it will work better than my old swimsuits.  It actually fits and was a size smaller than the other ones I tried.  Yay me!

While travelling this past weekend, I let the plan slide a little.  I didn’t overeat.  I ate healthy choices when I could.  I ate, and I didn’t worry too much about it.  Sometimes life takes priority.  You do what you can, and let it slide a little.  Then you have to get back on track.  For me, prep cooking helps me to stay on track.  I have to do the work so that when I want to take the easy way out, the easy way IS to stay on plan.  I have learned this while on THM, and I am the only person that can make those choices for me, so ultimately, it is up to me.

A friend introduced me to spaghetti squash.  I was reluctant to try it.  I do like squash as a side dish, but I had never tried spaghetti squash before.

It sat in my kitchen for a week before I bit the bullet and tried it.

I was pleasantly surprised!  I now eat spaghetti squash a couple of times a month.  It is good with spaghetti sauce.  It is good in spaghetti pie.  It is good in casseroles.  The verdict is that I like it.

When we have spaghetti, I have spaghetti squash instead of the pasta.  I load the sauce on it, and the parmesan cheese and eat until I am full.  Without the tired feeling that I get when I eat pasta.  I call it SPAGHETTI SALAD! What a wonderful gift my friend gave me when she told me to take that spaghetti squash home to try it.  If you haven’t tried spaghetti squash, try it with an open mind.  It really is worth it for me, and if you like it, you can thank me for the tip after you try it.

If you don’t know how to cook it, I didn’t either.  Here is a link for cooking it in the microwave or the oven:

How to cook a spaghetti squash in the microwave or the oven

I found this link and the one below in my own internet searches, all credit goes to the authors of the instructional pages.  The other method I can recommend is the slow cooker.  You can find the instructions for that here:

How to cook spaghetti squash in a slow cooker aka crock pot.

So my tip for you this week is to try spaghetti squash if you have never tried it before.  If you already love it, maybe try it in a new recipe, or try another healthy recipe that you have been hesitant to cook for whatever reason.  Just go for it!  And comment below if you did.  Let me know how it turns out!

Do you have a favourite way to cook spaghetti squash or a favourite recipe for making spaghetti squash?

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 10

by | Apr 27, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 10

Today is the day I have picked to start shopping for a new bathing suit.  Wish me luck!  I need it in terms of my requirements, but I am also looking for a sale and not hours of searching!

The good news this week is that I am hovering within two pounds of that twoville goal, still.  The bad news is that I have not crushed that goal yet.

Which means that this is a perfect week to write about another THM concept.  I really like this one.  It is called NSV.  That translates into a Non Scale Victory.  So what is an NSV?  It is anything you can celebrate OTHER than the successes you fight to see on the scale.  The weight on the scale is a number, and it can be depressing if you obsess about it especially if it is not moving in the right direction or moving at the speed you want it to change at.

I wrote about twoville, and it is looming on my horizon again.  It is a Scale Victory when you have a happy dance on the floor after you weigh yourself and see a good number. Don’t think too hard about that.  Yes, that would be me,  first thing in the morning, after a trip to the washroom, in my birthday suit, having a happy dance.  Not the thing you want to focus on here.

The NSV is something that doesn’t relate to the scale, directly.  I have set my first official NSV as a small one.  The blog will help, for sure with this.  I want to be able to comfortably wear both my wedding band and engagement ring together on my finger.  I have the engagement ring on a lovely gold chain, that I wear from time to time, but it belongs on my ring finger.  I have fluid built up in my fingers, and you may think this is funny, but when I had a cashier job in the past, I noticed that my fingers were less puffy when I had that job.  I was using my hands a lot when I was a cashier, and it helped my fingers to lose weight.  Not that there is a lot of extra weight in my fingers, but it was a really good experience to look at slimmer hands and fingers.  As I blog, I am exercising my fingers.  It might not seem like a big thing to other people, but it matters to me.

When there is fluid built up in my fingers, wearing my ring causes an indentation.  I have short fingers, and the fluid doesn’t stop me from wearing the rings together, but it is painful to wear them both at the same time. I can get them both on, but it does block circulation in the finger, and it is painful to take it back off, because of this. So I am working on my health, and trying the rings on together from time to time.

It doesn’t have to be about the number on the scale only.  It can be about fitting back into an old pair of jeans, having to buy new clothes because the ones you have don’t fit, changing the size of clothing you wear, or measuring your inches and seeing that the shape of you…r body (Shout out to Ed Sheeran, love that song!)  is changing when the numbers on the scale are not.

As we all struggle with weight together, whatever our issues are, we all have them.  It is good to set reasonable goals to go along with making changes to live a healthier lifestyle.  I know it helps me to check in from time to time with a measuring tape and my rings.  It can even be as simple as the clothing you wear fitting better, or that you can climb that annoying flight of stairs without needing to take a break, or losing your breath.

Pedometers are wonderful because they can help you increase your daily step count by challenging yourself.  I will write a Zumba post about this soon, we are talking about steps at Zumba class since I am sharing my steps after each class.  I am also involved with a group 100 Coffees, and they are challenging members to start healthier habits. Drinking water is necessary for life.  In this group, one of the admins is asking us about how much water we drink each day, as a way to hold those who choose to do this accountable for drinking enough water every day.  It is great to have a support system for healthier lifestyles, and encouragement is a wonderful thing.  100 Coffees is a group of women entrepreneurs, so if you fit that description, go check it out!

I am looking forward to the day that I can wear both of my rings comfortably at the same time as my first official NSV.  What is your NSV?  Any comments might help you figure out what small goal you need to work on, give you a place for your own accountability, or help someone else find a reasonable NSV to start working on.  I look forward to seeing what other people are setting as their own goals.

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 9

by | Apr 20, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 9

Timing is very important.  When I started the THM plan, I was shocked at how often they eat meals and snacks.  I had heard before that you should eat 4-6 smaller meals a day, instead of 3 large meals.  It is incredibly important to make sure that you never get hangry.  Yes, I spelled that correctly;  it is when you are so hungry that you start to get angry.  Just like on the Snickers commercials.  Not that they are the healthiest choice, but in a pinch, they can help you to combat low blood sugar and hangry feelings.  They are not on plan, though.

So how does this adapt in the real world?  I do get breaks at work, and they are not quite at the 3-hour mark, but I make do.  I have fruit and protein for my snacks.  It is really easy to eat an unsweetened applesauce and some laughing cow cheese.  I have also been known to snack on turkey pepperoni sticks.  The kind I like is not too spicy.  I have a low tolerance for spicy foods and am very sensitive to spices.

Meals vary for my lunches and suppers.  I enjoy grabbing a banana on the way out the door, again not on plan, but that is my quick dairy free and iron free start to my day.  The thyroid pill requires water and an empty stomach for it to work properly, to avoid these foods for two hours after taking it, so I don’t have side effects.  I have tried other things, but the food I can eat in the car when my husband is driving me to work is what I choose.  I also have black coffee when I get to work.

When I prep cook, it is the best way for me to stay on plan.  I have tried a lot of THM recipes, and I really like them.  I have been slacking in the prep cooking department.  I have things I can make, but I am not feeling like cooking.  Part of that is the effort, part of it is the storage situation, and the other part is that my husband is not on the plan with me.  Sometimes that requires making two meals, or different side dishes.  Again, more time, energy, and effort.  Not to mention that I don’t jump up to do the dishes every day like I should.  I know that is a different story, but it all ties in together with a big pretty bow.

If I make my lunch, there is a good chance I will be on plan.  When I don’t, I can stay on plan, but it is more difficult to buy lunch and stay on plan.  I am getting better at it, but the budget dictates that I need to start prep cooking again.

There are also meals when my husband and I don’t eat the same thing at all.  If I am eating on plan, he may have something that he likes instead of joining me.  That used to bother me.  Now I try and think that if he isn’t having the same thing as me, then there is more for me to eat and stay on track longer with.  So it is all about perspective.  And timing.

When the time is right for you, the choices will be easier because you are ready.  It took me most of my life to feel like I was ready to tackle this plan and become healthier.  When I found it, the timing was ripe for me to make a change and try something new.  I didn’t know then that it was going to be the answer for me, and that all I have to do is get serious about staying on the plan.  It is time to get serious.  Are you with me?

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 8

by | Apr 12, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 8

I am following the Trim Healthy Mama (THM) Plan.  They have some books on the program, and it is implemented into your life, the best way you can.  I am honestly telling you that I am trying.  I am also going to admit that I am struggling.

I can’t seem to find my willpower.  It is so easy to eat the unhealthy, off plan things.  They are all prepared and full of preservatives, and sugar and other junk, but they are literally the no-brainer choice.  When you are hungry, and there is a choice of something quick and easy, it is SO easy to fall into that pattern.

I am not an official THM trained coach, I am making my own way, and not on plan 100% of the time.  But I do see the value of it.  I have seen myself make little changes along the way, and I believe that they will all add up one day.  Someday I will realize that the changes I am making added up to enough effort to make a difference.

I keep checking my waistline.  Every once in a while I stand straight, with my hands on my waistline, and I think that it is smaller.  I just measured it for fun.  It isn’t.  One day it will be.

I have decided that it is time to start looking for a new bathing suit.  The last time I did that I was ready to throw in the beach towel.  I tried on all the one piece suits I could find, in all the local stores.  The very last one I tried on was the one I bought.  It was perfect.  The straps have lost their elasticity, and I tied knots in them last summer to hold the bathing suit in place.  It does not fit right anymore, so I have decided to start hunting for a new one.

It must be a one piece.  I refuse to buy a bathing suit that has a skirt.  Support is a must.  It has to fit right, be fashionable, comfortable, and practical.  I would like to say it will be a size or two smaller than the last one.  Maybe next year I can do that.

When I find one I like, I am going to look into swimming more often.  I would like to get back into Aquacise classes.  I used to go, and I think it is time to get back into a swimming pool on a regular basis.  A long time ago, on an island on the East Coast of Canada, I used to teach swimming lessons.  I love swimming as much as I love dancing.  I think it is time to start adding in new activities to help me want to make smarter choices about what I eat.  One small change at a time, I will regain control of my health, my body size, my energy levels, and my life.  It all comes down to me.  I know the easy way is how I got to be in this predicament.  I have to set my mind to working my way back out, one small change at a time.  Then it won’t be such a daunting task to get a new bathing suit.  Having a choice of several bathing suits instead of the only one that works will be something to look forward to.

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 7

by | Apr 6, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 7

The importance of happiness is not something that should be ignored in dealing with weight issues.  If I am unhappy, I will eat my feelings, and not make healthy food choices.  When I am happy, I tend to be smarter and more conscious of what I am eating.  It is not always so straightforward, though.

Happiness is linked to positivity and optimism.  Energy is higher when I am happy. Happiness can, therefore, be linked with motivation.  When I have the motivation, nothing can stand in my way.  Except for dessert.  How do I stay motivated?  The first trick is to set reasonable goals.

I am not talking about the scale, although anyone that has weight issues has a love-hate relationship with the bathroom scale.  We love it when the number on the scale is favourable; we hate it when it is not.  It is best to not weigh yourself every day, but if the scale is right there, and you are just going to peek…that can be a depressing habit.  Because we all know that weight fluctuates.  If the scale shows a plateau or a change in the wrong direction, well there is a reason to just give up and go eat everything you want.  So if you avoid the scale completely, or weigh only once a week or once a month, it is sufficient, and the number on the scale does not become an unhealthy obsession.

I am talking about doing little things to make the journey worthwhile.  Allow yourself to buy something nice once in a while.  Not food.  That is not a productive treat unless is a healthy choice.  But you’re going to eat anyway, so food is not necessarily the correct reward for someone with weight issues.

A new tube of lipstick or a new nail polish is a way to treat yourself without worrying about size.  One size fits all gifts are perfect rewards for people like me because they do not have to be fit into.  It is great to find out that you are down a size when you need to go buy a new pair of jeans or a new dress, but it can be counter-productive because the size of clothing also impacts our self-image.  If it is a larger size or the same, it implies that what you are doing is not enough, and it can also make you want to stop trying.

Grab your favourite music and go for a walk.  Music makes me happy and motivates me.  I get so many more things accomplished when I listen to music.  Buy a new album and support your favourite artist.  If you listen to that album while exercising, you are benefiting from your treat, and it is helping you on your journey.  There are lots of ways to listen to your music now, but I still buy CDs from the bands I want to support.  I buy them at a live show if I can, they get a bigger slice of the pie that way.  Food analogy.  I can’t escape desserts no matter how hard I try.  There are no calories here, though.

Last Saturday I had an errand or two.  I wanted to get a clear plastic tablecloth. A protective cover for my pretty tablecloth and some new placemats.  I ‘ve purchased two new pieces of art (I found them at the dollar store a few months ago) for my kitchen, which I can hang up when I finish spring cleaning it.

I found the stainless steel straws I have been looking for,  (PLEASE IF YOU BUY THESE ONLY DRINK COLD BEVERAGES WITH THEM).  Hot drinks ingested quickly into the stomach…that can’t end well.  The straws would possibly increase that heat, and the only way I can think of treating a burn on the inside of your stomach is aloe vera juice.  I do not know if that would even work.

The reason I have been searching for the stainless steel straws was for a Trim Healthy Mama drink I make from the plan.  It calls for apple cider vinegar, which can be nasty to the enamel on your teeth.  It is good to help with weight loss.  So I am helping my weight loss, adding less waste to the environment by using straws that I can wash and use forever, and I am saving the enamel on my teeth.

I could not pass up the sale I found on coffee.  Keurig K-cups, 75% off.  That worked out to $3.00 a box.  I stocked up.  That is a treat for me that I can be happy about.  I drink 3 k-cups a day.  Black.  I am trying 3 new kinds of coffee, and if I don’t like it, I can give it to someone else and not feel like it was an expensive thing to give away.  I hope I like them because I plan to be drinking my bargain coffee for a while.

Soul food isn’t food.  It is what makes you feel good.  Music is my soul food.  I am glad I have it because it helps me snap out of a mood, and kick into high gear.  Which is what I need to continue on my not so straight and completely not narrow path.  Stop reaching for comfort food, and stock up on your soul food.  Find whatever makes you happy, and make it a part of your new routine.  Not your meal plan.

#TrustYourGut

 

 

 

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 6

by | Mar 29, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 6

When I first found out that I was a type 2 diabetic, I had experienced being at “goal weight” about 7 years before the diagnosis.  I successfully lost enough weight on the Weight Watchers program when I did it with my mom back in high school.  After that, I got sick and put on more weight than I had ever dealt with, and since then, I peaked at almost 320lbs.

I am hovering at the edge of “twoville” again, and really hoping that this is the year for me to find my way back to “onederland”.  Twoville is in the 200 lb range, and it starts at 299.99lbs.  Onederland is in the 100 lb range and starts at 199.99 lbs.  That would be an amazing accomplishment.  I can only imagine how that will feel, as it has been longer than a decade since I have weighed in at under 200 lbs.  I think it is a reasonable goal, for one year, and if I make it, fantastic, if not, I will keep fighting the good fight.  Because I believe I am worthy of living a healthier lifestyle, and I can do it if I just put in the effort.  A goal needs to be realistic, and if I put too much pressure on myself, I will fail and be crushed under the weight of that failure.

So I keep going to Zumba, twice a week.  I am preparing to start walking in my neighbourhood in the evenings.  That is also preparing for adopting a dog.  Part of the reason that I want to bring a dog home to live with me is that I know I will HAVE to go for walks more than once a day, EVERY day.  The dog will benefit from living in a loving home, and my health will have to benefit from all the walking.  It is a good plan, and I will have until next winter to prepare myself for walking in the snow and ice.  By then I will be in the habit of the daily walks, and I will be ready to tackle the bad weather walking as a healthier version of myself.

I am so looking forward to having a dog in my life again.  I have friends with dogs, and friends with cats.  I visit them when I can, but it’s not the same as having my own pet here all the time.  My house has been very quiet this winter, with no pitter patter of furry friends to come home to.  I needed time to mourn for my cats, and decided it was time to get a dog, in the spring.  We will be getting ready for that in the next couple of months, and when the right dog crosses our path, we will give it a furever home.

When I first found out I was pre-diabetic (there is no such thing, it is a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes; the doctors just break it to you gently by saying not yet, but really you are a type 2 diabetic).  I was told that I would have a chance of not needing medication for it if I removed sugar from my diet, and ate according to Canada’s Food Guide.  I tried.  I failed.  I was so tired all of the time.  I was drinking up to 2 litres of cola a day for the caffeine because I was so tired all the time.  The sugar was making me tired, so the caffeine was not keeping me awake.  I began drinking more cola for more caffeine, and it never worked for very long.  I know now what I was doing wrong.  Then I switched to diet pop.  Aspartame is something I have removed from my life since then.  I now choose stevia and erythritol for my sweeteners and drink very little pop.  I have one can a day, and not every single day.  I choose pop sweetened with stevia, and it took a bit to learn to like it.

I now drink my coffee black.  It is healthier this way, and now that I am used to it, I like it like this.  Less fuss to prepare it in the morning, and no worries about not wanting to drink it because there is nothing in it.  I sometimes drink green tea.  I sometimes drink oolong tea in one of my THM drinks.  I do not use cola as my main source of caffeine anymore.

I did not tell everyone about being a diabetic for a long time.  I feared the food police.  I learned this term from a diabetes educator.   They are those people who immediately point out what is wrong with everything you eat.  You are the person with diabetes, and everyone else thinks they are the expert.  It is embarrassing to be an adult and have someone tell you that you shouldn’t eat that because you are a diabetic.  Out loud.  In front of a room full of people.  Or to say that isn’t good for you, because it has sugar in it.  People don’t mean any harm, I know it is being said because, on some level, they care about me as a person, and want me to be healthy.  However,  I am an adult, and this type of criticism is not positive, and can have very negative effects on my self-esteem.

I am a lot tougher than I look.  Even if you find me bawling in a quiet place, it is not always because I am sad, it might be because I am SO ANGRY that I sprung a leak.  It is a self-defense mechanism that I have had for most of my life, and I hate it.  It is the quiet, private way to vent.

Other times I would eat my feelings.  I would go buy junk food and regular cola and binge eat.  How dare someone point at what I am eating when they are eating something just as unhealthy, or worse than what I am eating.  They eat whatever they want, well so will I.  The problem with that, other than me gaining weight, is that really I am only hurting myself.  That other person doesn’t even know that they did something wrong.  THEY THINK THEY ARE HELPING ME.  They mean well, but if I am having a sugar low, I might actually NEED that candy I am crunching as fast as I can because my sugars are dropping.  It can happen quite suddenly, and I now have juice boxes and suckers with me all of the time.  I don’t use them unless I need them.

Maybe I have made plans to take extra insulin because I wanted a treat.  I want to be normal, and eat like other people do.  I am not, and that is why I am trying SO HARD to change. I have learned that if I give in a little when I have a craving, I won’t be as likely to binge eat as I would if I suppress it.  So I do have things that are not on the diabetic diet.   I am human.  It is more convenient to grab something quick sometimes.  I am working on that, just like I am working on me.  Most of the time I make healthy choices.  So when you see me eating something that isn’t one of those choices, let me be.  I know the consequences of my actions, and I will recover to my sensibilities when I am ready.

Just like no person is the same as any other person, no person with diabetes is the same as every other person with diabetes, and no person has the exact same issues with weight that every other person has.  That is why it is important for me to write about how I feel, and to share the stories of other people and their issues with weight.  We all are experiencing life as a journey, but we still forge our own paths as individuals.

#TrustYourGut

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 13

Trust Your Gut: Bonnie’s Story

by | Mar 23, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share the story of another friend.  It is written in her own words, and she submitted it earlier this week with her permission to share it as a part of the series.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Bonnie’s Story

 

My story begins all the way back to when I was five years old. I was always small for my age until then, when my parents got divorced. All of the changes and upheaval that happens with that sort of thing, is what seems to have contributed to me eating more and gaining weight. Still, I was only chubby as a child. I wasn’t truly overweight until my preteens. I believe I was about ten years old when I realized that I was bigger than most of the kids my age but other than some minor teasing from other kids that usually went over my head anyway, I did not feel bad about it. At age twelve, I weighed 180 pounds and that’s the age that I really started noticing how heavy I was and feeling body conscious.

I never did anything about it at that age though, except maybe some walking for exercise. Other than that, I did a lot of wishing and dreaming that I would just wake up skinny one day and everyone would like me because I wasn’t a big girl anymore. I remember feeling bad about being overweight, not being able to wear the types of clothes my friends were wearing, and receiving some teasing or comments here and there.

When I was sixteen, my mom and I joined a women’s gym together. There I learned about exercise and how beneficial, as well as fun, it could be. The first workout left me so sore I could barely move and I didn’t want to go back, it hurt so much. However, I did go back a few days later and started to realize a love for exercise I never knew I could have! The trainers there, one I’m still in touch with to this day, were so kind and really involved. They provided me with so much quality guidance that I really needed. Due to a move across town, making the trip to the gym too far for me to go, I stopped going once our one year was up there and turned to walking more for exercise. Slowly the weight I had lost from exercising at that gym for a year crept back on.

Another few years went by where I tried various things but never stuck with anything consistently, until 2009, when I was twenty. I started a weight loss journey by cutting back my calories significantly, exercising five or six days a week, and drinking Slim-Fast and changing my eating habits to include more vegetables and fruits. Soon I joined the SparkPeople website where I received support, information, and resources I needed to keep losing weight. I lost over 75 pounds during the seven months I was on there and actively working to lose weight. Right around my twenty-first birthday though, I ended up suffering from gallstones and pancreatitis, spending a whole week in the hospital and having my gallbladder removed. After that and some dramatic changes in my life that happened directly afterwards, I pretty much gave up on losing weight. I mean I tried, but my heart wasn’t in it anymore and I wasn’t consistently working on it any longer.

The next few years after that I continued to try to lose weight at different points, but it never lasted and I never stuck with it long enough to make a significant difference. Finally in May 2014, I started my final and last weight loss journey. This was it! I was going to lose the weight and keep it off! I had gained all of the weight I had lost in 2009 and then some, as it often goes. I was a whopping 309 pounds at this point, when I had sworn I would never get over three hundred pounds! I was shocked and appalled, and I knew I had no choice but to make changes so I could lose that weight. By August of 2015, I was in what is often referred to as “onederland,” finally breaking into the 190’s. It took quite a while after that to get into the 180’s, but my lowest weight was 181 in April 2016.

Enter this past summer that brought issues with my grandparents and their health, a big cross country move, having to leave behind my siblings and their kids when my parents and I moved, and so much more, I just let things go. I had just completed my first ever half marathon in May of last year, which was one of the most rewarding and invigorating experiences of my life. It was so much fun that I’m doing the same half marathon again this May. After the half marathon, the summer was full of all of these huge, and very stressful, events that kept the next few months super stressful and overwhelming. I started gaining weight back because I just felt too overwhelmed to devote the attention and dedication to my nutrition that I had before.

Even with the weight gain, I am still 60+ pounds down from my highest weight, but it has been a huge struggle to get back on track and the weight has kept creeping on due to my struggles. I know I can do it, as I proved it to be the case before, but it seems harder. I lost that momentum, I stopped being consistent, and I guess I gave up. However, I still had a huge passion to help others, and had restarted a blog for the purpose of helping other women find a way to not only lose weight, but believe in themselves, find their inner strength, and practice self-love. Still, at some points in the past few months, I have felt like a fraud because I had been struggling so much. It is all a part of my journey, so even though it felt horrible and disappointing all the same, it has been a learning experience and has made me stronger!

A positive thing that has come out of my struggles is that a little over a month ago, I made the decision to join Beachbody as a coach. Using the container system, Shakeology, and workouts they have in their programs is truly making a huge difference for me both physically and mentally. That doesn’t mean that it is easy or that the changes are instantaneous, and I am still slowly getting my nutrition back in check in addition to working out more consistently again. I am also drinking Shakeology everyday and noticing how much it makes a difference in my energy levels. I never realized how beneficial it could be! Besides that, I also have a huge support system with the coaches that are part of the team of the coach I signed up with. As a friend, she is someone I trust, feel comfortable talking to, and know she will help me the best way she can which is a huge deal to me and made the decision that much easier!

I have complete faith that I will lose the weight I’ve regained. I felt so skinny at 180-190 pounds, even though I still wanted to lose 30 more pounds. Now I glance at pictures from that low weight and wish I could be that small again. However, I can’t live in the past and I can’t beat myself up anymore. I am ready to continue moving forward, working on improving my healthy lifestyle, and helping other people do the same thing in their lives. The greatest reward for me is to help others realize how they can really live the life they dream of living, whether it be to lose weight, go after their dream career, or whatever else represents happiness and success in their lives. On SparkPeople, helping others and providing feedback was more than just helping them. It helped me to stay on track too!

Bonnie McConaughy is the owner and founder of Inspire the Best You (www.inspirethebestyou.com), where she writes about healthy living and personal growth, and provides health and wellness coaching. She is also a freelance and ghostwriter (www.bonwriterfreelance.biz).

Thank you to Bonnie for sharing your story.  You have inspired me to try harder, because like you, I know I can do this, I just have to stick with it.  Although we are travelling on different paths, there are some similarities in our journeys.  Keep working on your goals, and you will achieve them, I know it!  Something that resonates with me after reading is that you are not alone, you have a support system, and you are building your own skills to help others.  This is really a great thing,  to take what you have learned to help you guide others in their journies.  I wish you all the best, and have faith that you are going to be a success.