by Tish MacWebber | Apr 16, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
Happy Easter 2017! I am having a quiet day, having no children myself, and recovering from The Head Cold 2017 has been my priority for the last 2 days. I am finally feeling like doing things again today, which is great! I will be taking it slow, but working in the kitchen is on my list of things to do.
I am happy to say that the overthinking portion of what to rearrange in my kitchen has reached completion in my mind, this morning. I will be moving things around in my kitchen over the next few days, as I have Monday and Tuesday off this week. I had some vacation time left to use up, and I will be taking a few days here and there in the next couple of months to help me get a jump start on what I need to finish my spring cleaning. I am really excited to work in my kitchen today, knowing that I have a plan!
That is a key point for me. Having a plan. I have been planning and planning in my mind on what to move where. I did this with my counter tops a few weeks ago, when I set up my Coffee Station Complete! project. I have to figure out how to move things around in my mind before I do it because when I am in the middle of a project, improvisation is a possibility, but having to reverse all the work because I didn’t plan the project properly is not acceptable. Double the work without the task being accomplished is just not an option for me. So with that in mind, I will move forward with the kitchen today.
The plans I have will not be finished in one day. That is why I am glad I have the extra days this week to continue working on it. Once I have everything rearranged, then I can work on cleaning the top of the cupboards, empty all of them and put things back when I have cleaned inside each cupboard, and work my way to cleaning the floors. I will have to dust my pantry and shuffle some things around as I figure out new ways to place everything in my kitchen all over again. My fridge was cleaned earlier this year, and it is in need of a touch-up, but that will not be as much of a chore this time around.
The ultimate goal is to have a picture worthy kitchen that is clean, organized, and functional. I want to hang up my new kitchen decorations and be able to really enjoy them! I want to be proud of the final result and move on to the rest of the house. The living room is in progress. My office corner in the living room is an unorganized disaster and will need a few days to complete. I have been puttering, but no real progress has been made there, yet. The Master bedroom and guest room are works in progress. The Master Bathroom is in desperate need of time and effort, and that will not wait much longer. The Main bathroom is in decent shape, and the Man Cave is not on MY list. It will all happen, it just needs time and for me to be really focused on the end goal. Finishing on or before July 1, 2017.
What are you working on this weekend? Are you celebrating Easter with Joy? If you are spending time with family and friends, that is just as important as my plans to move forward with my spring cleaning. I stopped last weekend to recharge. I spent the last 2 days fighting a really horrible head cold. I am ready to start cleaning again, and I have the time I need to work on it. Have a Happy Easter, Weekend Warriors!
#WeekendWarrior
by Tish MacWebber | Apr 12, 2017 | Trust Your Gut
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 8
I am following the Trim Healthy Mama (THM) Plan. They have some books on the program, and it is implemented into your life, the best way you can. I am honestly telling you that I am trying. I am also going to admit that I am struggling.
I can’t seem to find my willpower. It is so easy to eat the unhealthy, off plan things. They are all prepared and full of preservatives, and sugar and other junk, but they are literally the no-brainer choice. When you are hungry, and there is a choice of something quick and easy, it is SO easy to fall into that pattern.
I am not an official THM trained coach, I am making my own way, and not on plan 100% of the time. But I do see the value of it. I have seen myself make little changes along the way, and I believe that they will all add up one day. Someday I will realize that the changes I am making added up to enough effort to make a difference.
I keep checking my waistline. Every once in a while I stand straight, with my hands on my waistline, and I think that it is smaller. I just measured it for fun. It isn’t. One day it will be.
I have decided that it is time to start looking for a new bathing suit. The last time I did that I was ready to throw in the beach towel. I tried on all the one piece suits I could find, in all the local stores. The very last one I tried on was the one I bought. It was perfect. The straps have lost their elasticity, and I tied knots in them last summer to hold the bathing suit in place. It does not fit right anymore, so I have decided to start hunting for a new one.
It must be a one piece. I refuse to buy a bathing suit that has a skirt. Support is a must. It has to fit right, be fashionable, comfortable, and practical. I would like to say it will be a size or two smaller than the last one. Maybe next year I can do that.
When I find one I like, I am going to look into swimming more often. I would like to get back into Aquacise classes. I used to go, and I think it is time to get back into a swimming pool on a regular basis. A long time ago, on an island on the East Coast of Canada, I used to teach swimming lessons. I love swimming as much as I love dancing. I think it is time to start adding in new activities to help me want to make smarter choices about what I eat. One small change at a time, I will regain control of my health, my body size, my energy levels, and my life. It all comes down to me. I know the easy way is how I got to be in this predicament. I have to set my mind to working my way back out, one small change at a time. Then it won’t be such a daunting task to get a new bathing suit. Having a choice of several bathing suits instead of the only one that works will be something to look forward to.
by Tish MacWebber | Apr 11, 2017 | Coffee and Stories
This past weekend, I wrote about facing my inner demons. I fight with myself sometimes. Nobody throws punches, and nobody gets hurt. Except maybe my own ego.
I can get stuck in a pattern of doing nothing while having the best intentions of getting through a whole list of things that need to be done. There are days when I literally talk myself out of getting anything done. It is a nasty little place to be in, and it happens when things are bothering me, or in the winter. I am less likely to have the energy to do more than the basics in the winter time, and that is sometimes left too long. In this endless loop of getting nothing done, I can become overwhelmed by how much there IS to do, and that doesn’t help me at all.
Spring is here. I feel the change in the weather, and in my spirit. The blog has started me off in the right direction. I am wanting to get things done, and I FEEL DIFFERENT about life right now. I am trying new things, making small changes, and thinking about what I need to do to make the leap from blogging to writing a book.
A year ago I was recovering from an infection in my knee. It was not a pleasant experience, I would never recommend a knee infection as something for anyone to do. I was away from work for 3 months, and sat around that whole time, as I was told to not be moving around very much. I had nurses visiting me in my home for IV antibiotics once a day for two or three weeks. I was taught how to bandage the wound when the IV was over, and they stopped the home checks. I longed for the day that I could have a shower without medical tape and shopping bags protecting the bandages from getting wet. I was on some strong painkillers, for the first time ever, and I was scared that I might become addicted. I did not.
Spring cleaning didn’t really happen last year. So I am on a mission to get it done properly this year. I am writing about it, and puttering at it, and making a little more progress in that kitchen every time I get in there. I have made a few inexpensive purchases to help me to get this project accomplished. I see the progress, but I am not ready to share it yet.
I needed to stop and just take a breath last weekend. That’s what the title means. When you worry about everyone or everything else and don’t take time for yourself, you can empty your coffee pot before you get yourself a refill. That is a mistake that can build into a disaster if it is not made a priority.
It’s not Ok to neglect your own needs in order to make sure that everyone else’s needs are taken care of first. Sometimes, it is necessary to take care of others first. However, if you don’t stop and take time for you, the coffee at the bottom of the pot is going to have a burnt taste, and it will not be a pleasant thing to drink.
Whatever it is in your life that allows you to feel refreshed and recharged is something that you need to always make time for. If it is the 5 am cup of coffee before anyone else in your home is awake, get up and pour yourself a hot cup of coffee. If it is taking a bath at the end of a long and tiring day, make time to fill the bathtub. Read a book for a chapter a day, at the time you can schedule it in. If you have dogs, they can help you take the time to yourself to think when you have to walk them anyway.
Or, at other times you need to be around other people. Friends and family are important too. Find people that are fun to be around, and bring you up, not down. I am not saying that you should ignore all of your other friends, but when you need to feel good, surround yourself with people, things and activities that help you do just that.
When I think about where I was a year ago, I had no idea I was going to make a leap into becoming a blogger. I was waiting to be told that I could start going back to Zumba classes. I was learning about the Trim Healthy Mama Plan, and trying new recipes. I was already going through the motions of being back to work at my day job. And I was miserable.
Now I have a blossoming new outlook for spring this year. I will be working on my New Year’s Resolutions and branching out with what I am doing with my life. I am chasing my dreams and making them into my reality. One at a time.
Thank you for reading my 60th Blog Post. Still having fun, and Always Thinking…
by Tish MacWebber | Apr 9, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
Here we are. Another weekend is over. If you are reading the other stories I post, you may know that I did a little shopping last week. I have tried and tried to get myself into that kitchen. This week, I chose another fight. I decided to fight some inner demons.
I have been working hard on this blog. I am pouring my heart and soul into it, and it is having positive effects in my life. This weekend, I took a much needed break from my routine.
I have given myself a deadline for starting to work on my book. I hope to be done with my Spring Cleaning on or before July 1st. This way I have given myself a full 6 months for each project I am working on this year. If I finish early, bonus. I have no doubts that when I sit down to write, it will happen. I am doing well with the consistency of the blog.
A discussion online made me stop and think about my progress. I have not finished yet what I have resolved to do this year. I am making lists and getting some of the things done, but I never finish the list. The approach thus far has been to make the list, get done what I can, and start a new list the next day. Or continue the same list. The discussion I was referring to was when someone alluded to feeling like a fraud because they have not written a book yet.
I am not a fraud. I work hard at things all the time, even if the progress is made only inside of my head. I am also working on making myself healthier, and that is a project that has no deadline. It is ongoing. Deciding what is best for me to tackle on a weekly basis is moving towards completing something. Progress is progress. No matter how it appears to anyone else.
I did a small amount of puttering. I did not do anything that is picture worthy. So the progress pics will have to wait another week. I have a few vacation days coming up in April, and I plan to use them wisely. I am hoping to catch up in the kitchen this month and be able to move on to the rest of my home. I am going to have to force the issue, with myself, if I am ever going to get it accomplished. That is why I have had to give myself a deadline. At some point, I DO have to finish the Spring Cleaning and move on to the book writing.
Writing this series is helping. I am planning and seeing what needs to be done, and I have ideas of what I will be sharing in the pictures as I progress. Tomorrow after work I have plans to work on a small section of the kitchen while making supper. As I wrote somewhere earlier today on social media, the house does not bounce itself.
This weekend I caught up with some friends, and we had a fantastic time at a local board game cafe. We hung out for the whole evening, and that included the taxi driver being pulled over by the cops for making an illegal left turn while driving us to my friend’s house. If I had a cell phone (what! she doesn’t have a cell phone! the horror!) I would have been able to join in with the Pokemon Go the rest of them played last night. I tried it, and we had fun just hanging out.
Today I spent some quality time chatting with family. Then I went to see the new Smurfs movie with my husband. It was SMURFTASTIC! So familiar, and positive, and full of all the Smurfy jokes and Smurf magic.
I worked on myself this weekend. I recharged my batteries and am ready to take on the next week. I will be working on the Spring Cleaning over the next weekend, and hopefully a little bit all week. I know it will all add up and I will get there. So no, I am not a fraud, by any standard. I am a person that is a work in progress, and I am going to keep working until I accomplish my goals.
#WeekendWarrior
by Tish MacWebber | Apr 7, 2017 | Writing
First Rejection Letter
In the journey to becoming an author, there are many roadblocks along the way. Inspiration or the Muse must be present to begin. Time must be set aside each day to write and practice your craft. There is a whole different world to enter when one wants to become a published author. WIP means “Work In Progress”. It is the current project that is being written. A social media presence is a must to develop your target audience. Writer’s Block is a fear that can strike at any time, and if it takes hold, can have disastrous effects on that WIP.
If an author survives all of these obstacles, the biggest hurdle of all looms in the distance. Submissions are needed to take the scariest step of all. Submitting the WIP for publishing.
Self-publishing is an option. Editing is a must. Beta readers test read the WIP and hopefully provide constructive criticism and positive feedback. Repeat as necessary. Query letters are sent to publishing companies.
Then the waiting begins.
The self-doubting during this time, which does not always have an exact deadline for a reply can be paralyzing. The WIP is sent out to one or many different publishers, with excited anticipation. As the days turn into weeks, which turn into months, the feeling changes. The belief in the WIP can fade. Negativity creeps into the picture and can cause the author to stop writing. This is the hardest thing a writer has to face.
It happened to me. I wrote a poem and submitted it to my writing group. I have experienced new friendships, answers to many questions, and support in this group. I continue to be a member of the Ninja Writers. I found them on facebook, and I am now a card carrying member. I am supporting a co-operative publication. My submission did not make the first publication.
I got my first rejection letter. It was not the result I wanted, but it is done. As an author, it will not be my last. As an author, I have arrived.
Was I disappointed? Absolutely. Did it break my desire to keep trying? Not a chance. My work is just beginning as an author. There will be times when I want to give up. If I am going to succeed, I have to be able to keep trying. Stubborn determination twisted with an immense amount of patience will help me to persevere and succeed.
I will be looking forward to receiving my first copy of the Ninja Writers Zine. It is called The NW. I am planning to read it from cover to cover, more than once, so that I can up my game for the next call for submissions. More information about it can be found at their Patreon link:
The NW
If you are interested in becoming a part of the phenomenon known as the Ninja Writers, here is a link to their facebook page:
Ninja Writers Facebook Group
It is a closed group, but the creator of the Ninja Writers, Shaunta Grimes, has given me permission to share both of these links here. She is a published author, and leading the Ninja Writers Revolution! She has created so many useful tools and guides for up and coming authors like me. Thanks for giving me a place to share, learn and improve upon my writing dreams, Shaunta! Ninja Writers Rock!
Finally, I will link the poem that I have published in January here. It was featured on this blog, and I am proud of it whether or not it shows up anywhere else. This is what I submitted for The NW.
Give yourself a little Grace
I will continue sharpening my writing skills until the next call for submissions.
by Tish MacWebber | Apr 6, 2017 | Trust Your Gut
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 7
The importance of happiness is not something that should be ignored in dealing with weight issues. If I am unhappy, I will eat my feelings, and not make healthy food choices. When I am happy, I tend to be smarter and more conscious of what I am eating. It is not always so straightforward, though.
Happiness is linked to positivity and optimism. Energy is higher when I am happy. Happiness can, therefore, be linked with motivation. When I have the motivation, nothing can stand in my way. Except for dessert. How do I stay motivated? The first trick is to set reasonable goals.
I am not talking about the scale, although anyone that has weight issues has a love-hate relationship with the bathroom scale. We love it when the number on the scale is favourable; we hate it when it is not. It is best to not weigh yourself every day, but if the scale is right there, and you are just going to peek…that can be a depressing habit. Because we all know that weight fluctuates. If the scale shows a plateau or a change in the wrong direction, well there is a reason to just give up and go eat everything you want. So if you avoid the scale completely, or weigh only once a week or once a month, it is sufficient, and the number on the scale does not become an unhealthy obsession.
I am talking about doing little things to make the journey worthwhile. Allow yourself to buy something nice once in a while. Not food. That is not a productive treat unless is a healthy choice. But you’re going to eat anyway, so food is not necessarily the correct reward for someone with weight issues.
A new tube of lipstick or a new nail polish is a way to treat yourself without worrying about size. One size fits all gifts are perfect rewards for people like me because they do not have to be fit into. It is great to find out that you are down a size when you need to go buy a new pair of jeans or a new dress, but it can be counter-productive because the size of clothing also impacts our self-image. If it is a larger size or the same, it implies that what you are doing is not enough, and it can also make you want to stop trying.
Grab your favourite music and go for a walk. Music makes me happy and motivates me. I get so many more things accomplished when I listen to music. Buy a new album and support your favourite artist. If you listen to that album while exercising, you are benefiting from your treat, and it is helping you on your journey. There are lots of ways to listen to your music now, but I still buy CDs from the bands I want to support. I buy them at a live show if I can, they get a bigger slice of the pie that way. Food analogy. I can’t escape desserts no matter how hard I try. There are no calories here, though.
Last Saturday I had an errand or two. I wanted to get a clear plastic tablecloth. A protective cover for my pretty tablecloth and some new placemats. I ‘ve purchased two new pieces of art (I found them at the dollar store a few months ago) for my kitchen, which I can hang up when I finish spring cleaning it.
I found the stainless steel straws I have been looking for, (PLEASE IF YOU BUY THESE ONLY DRINK COLD BEVERAGES WITH THEM). Hot drinks ingested quickly into the stomach…that can’t end well. The straws would possibly increase that heat, and the only way I can think of treating a burn on the inside of your stomach is aloe vera juice. I do not know if that would even work.
The reason I have been searching for the stainless steel straws was for a Trim Healthy Mama drink I make from the plan. It calls for apple cider vinegar, which can be nasty to the enamel on your teeth. It is good to help with weight loss. So I am helping my weight loss, adding less waste to the environment by using straws that I can wash and use forever, and I am saving the enamel on my teeth.
I could not pass up the sale I found on coffee. Keurig K-cups, 75% off. That worked out to $3.00 a box. I stocked up. That is a treat for me that I can be happy about. I drink 3 k-cups a day. Black. I am trying 3 new kinds of coffee, and if I don’t like it, I can give it to someone else and not feel like it was an expensive thing to give away. I hope I like them because I plan to be drinking my bargain coffee for a while.
Soul food isn’t food. It is what makes you feel good. Music is my soul food. I am glad I have it because it helps me snap out of a mood, and kick into high gear. Which is what I need to continue on my not so straight and completely not narrow path. Stop reaching for comfort food, and stock up on your soul food. Find whatever makes you happy, and make it a part of your new routine. Not your meal plan.
#TrustYourGut
by Tish MacWebber | Apr 3, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
I survived another Monday and made it to another Zumba Class! I really enjoyed the music and the workout today. I am tired, but I earned it. We made it to 5,000 steps today!
I knew I was feeling like I needed a good workout. I felt a little lethargic, but I knew I needed to go. I got ready and found my place in the Zumba Crew.
I went for it! Since I have this new smartband, I have been keeping an eye on my steps and my heart rate. My resting heart rate is around 65. Well, at one point it was really pumping, I felt like it was working hard. I checked, and it was at 146. Exercise success! I increased my heart rate! I paced myself for a bit with the music and brought it down to 85.
Then the music sped up again. I was feeling it, but not like earlier. It was back up to 101. I worked out hard tonight. It was a good class. I managed to calm down without panicking about my heart rate when it was pumping really fast.
We were near the end, and I heard a song I knew the moves for. So I got into a groove and was told I had some sass in the class tonight. I was just getting my Zumba on, and I guess others noticed. It is good to be in the Zumba Zone. It was a great finish to another Monday. My heart rate is closer to normal now, back at 75 beats. So I have recovered from my workout, and now I can relax.
A quick google search gave me the answer to what a good heart rate during exercise is. 220 – your age= the maximum heart rate you should have to still be within a healthy range. I still have wiggle room with that calculation, and with my weight being quite high, I do not want to max that out. Yet.
A target resting heart rate is 60-100 for the average person, and 40-60 for an athlete. I guess I have some work to do on that also, but generally, my resting heart rate is near 60, so I am going to keep on believing that I have a strong, healthy heart, and keep on going to Zumba. I like it, and it is good for me! I got my heart rate up, and I had fun! Those are 2 key points to remember when I am dragging my feet and don’t want to make the effort. I AM WORTH THE EFFORT! It certainly makes me feel better, and helps move the stress of the day job out of my system!
It’s all good, and when I pace myself, it is OK. I am comfortable in my Zumba Crew and sometimes I dance to a different beat, but I am still there, and I am still dancing my way to being healthier. Although I am tired after a really good class like this, I never want to stop! It is a good tired, the best kind, and I had fun getting there. It is good for my heart and soul. So I intend to keep going for as long as I can!
.
by Tish MacWebber | Apr 1, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
Well, I decided it was time to give a progress report. The tunes are cranked. I am motivated. So what did I get done?
I have decided to publish this first thing Saturday morning so I can keep the momentum going that I found last weekend. I worked on my kitchen DURING THE WEEK! I am really happy with my progress.
I moved the dish drainer out of the way to create a new Coffee Station. I blogged about that on Monday, because I was so excited that I had to share what I did. For a recap of that short story, here is a link: Coffee Station Complete!
I washed the curtains, and they are all hung back up. I also had to flip the windowsill decorations to match the flip of the coffee station. The curtain has to be at the opposite side of the window, which caused the rearrangement of the items. I have put the dish drainer on the other side of the sink. It is a better place because the dishes are on that side of the kitchen. Most of them. Then I continued to the last section of the countertop. Breadbox, toaster and blender are shuffled. The electric stand mixer is by the dish drainer now. It meant I could tuck the toaster beside the breadbox, instead of it being in front of the breadbox like it was before.
Then I ran out of steam. My husband helped during the week, which can help me to get going. I have plans to start my day with paying it forward. I am off to help another friend in the land of blogging and website design. I will do what I can to help, and we will see how far we get. The last friend I helped has 2 blog posts published and is still figuring it all out. I plan to help her again when our schedules align, and also to share her blog in the future when it is developed further. I am also planning to share blogs from others that I help, even if they do all the work and I just gave them ideas to run with. There is at least one person I know that is doing this, and it is nice to see them happy about their progress.
After I finish helping my friend today, I am going to go back into my kitchen, and get the house bouncing again! I need to keep the momentum going so that I CAN finish, otherwise I will NEVER finish, and that is just not acceptable to me. I need to do this cleaning challenge, more than ever! I need to prepare my home for neglect while I am writing. I know, it will still need maintenance cleaning, and I shall be looking into that when I am at that stage. For now, I will leave you knowing I am fighting through the procrastination and laziness, doing good in the world by helping friends, and getting my kitchen ready for spring, with a promise of more pictures as I complete different areas.
I am rethinking storage in my kitchen. I sense more reorganization in my future of 4 areas. I have very little room for storage, so I have to plan any changes in detail before tacki\ling them because any changes are critical, and need to improve on how things are now, rather than just add more confusion and not maximize the storage space that I have available. I am preparing to take this project on this weekend.
Have a productive Saturday! Who knows, maybe that next Weekend Warrior will be tomorrow’s story, with those pics I am preparing to share.
by Tish MacWebber | Mar 31, 2017 | Writing
The Little Blog That Could!
This adventure is growing. One like at a time. One laugh at a time. One follower at a time. One share at a time. Most importantly, one story at a time. It has given life to an imagination. It is a small obsession, reaching beyond what it was supposed to be. It is gaining momentum. Every time inspiration strikes, so do the strokes on the keyboard. Is it going to change the world at large? Maybe. Is it going to change my life? It already has.
Something is happening to me. I am gaining confidence in my abilities. I am pushing myself to write several times a week, and I am following through with the schedule that is developing as I write. I am watching the stats, and grinning while shaking my head at them. They tell me that I have reached an audience in 30 different countries. I have had more than 100 likes on this Blog, as a whole. Most of them are from people I do not know personally. To anyone that has looked at this blog, read any of my stories, liked, shared, commented or followed, I want to personally thank you. It humbles me to realize that people take the time to do this, even if it is just for the few minutes they take to read what is on my mind. I am finishing month five today. I have been consistent and persistent. It takes dedication.
I am having fun. I found my passion, I really believe it. I want to write and share the things that matter to me here. I want to expand my horizons, and get those books published. I am also sharing how I am trying to live a healthier lifestyle, and how my 2017 New Year’s Resolutions are progressing. I am writing about things that matter in my world, and from the support I see in the stats, these things matter to more people than just me.
It was a steep learning curve for me to take a run at when I started. For me, HTML was a thing that popped up by accident on my computer when I was surfing. Literally. There I was, Facebooking away when suddenly, there was a box of text that appeared on top of my facebook pages. Thank goodness I found the corner with the “X” to close it when it happened. Which was more frequently than I want to remember. It still scares me, when it is just there because I don’t really know what it does, or why it jumps out at me. But I have used HTML in setting up this blog, and I would not call myself an expert in any way shape, or form, I can now say that I have used it, and that is something I wasn’t able to say six months ago.
Constructive criticism helped me to develop the page you see today. I didn’t know anything about colour palettes for websites or branding myself as an author. I have a long way to go yet, and lots to learn, but if it keeps being this much fun, I see me working on it for the rest of my life. I have always had a vivid imagination and a creative artist inside of me. When I work with beads, and I create something that is mine from concept to finished product, I get this feeling. There is pride, but it is more than that. It is excitement and that thing that everyone says you should base your career choices on. That thing is passion. I feel it even more strongly when I am writing, reading, editing, and previewing every story that I publish on this blog. It is infectious. It is contagious. And it is bubbling out in every direction!
I am happier. I am doing better at my day job. People can see the difference in me. I am feeling the spark of inspiration all around me, and I am fueling it with all of the creativity and optimism I can get my hands on. I am able to process things in my everyday life, even things that I am not writing about, in a different way. I got my optimism back. It was missing for quite some time, but I have hope again. I have always had faith and a belief that things would work out even when times are tough. Now that I am working on this blog, and making plans for my future as an author, I am making one of my dreams come true. Because I am making it happen, I KNOW that things will be better in my future. It is up to me, and I am taking control of the next chapter in my own life.
I am a blogger, hear me type!
by Tish MacWebber | Mar 29, 2017 | Trust Your Gut
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 6
When I first found out that I was a type 2 diabetic, I had experienced being at “goal weight” about 7 years before the diagnosis. I successfully lost enough weight on the Weight Watchers program when I did it with my mom back in high school. After that, I got sick and put on more weight than I had ever dealt with, and since then, I peaked at almost 320lbs.
I am hovering at the edge of “twoville” again, and really hoping that this is the year for me to find my way back to “onederland”. Twoville is in the 200 lb range, and it starts at 299.99lbs. Onederland is in the 100 lb range and starts at 199.99 lbs. That would be an amazing accomplishment. I can only imagine how that will feel, as it has been longer than a decade since I have weighed in at under 200 lbs. I think it is a reasonable goal, for one year, and if I make it, fantastic, if not, I will keep fighting the good fight. Because I believe I am worthy of living a healthier lifestyle, and I can do it if I just put in the effort. A goal needs to be realistic, and if I put too much pressure on myself, I will fail and be crushed under the weight of that failure.
So I keep going to Zumba, twice a week. I am preparing to start walking in my neighbourhood in the evenings. That is also preparing for adopting a dog. Part of the reason that I want to bring a dog home to live with me is that I know I will HAVE to go for walks more than once a day, EVERY day. The dog will benefit from living in a loving home, and my health will have to benefit from all the walking. It is a good plan, and I will have until next winter to prepare myself for walking in the snow and ice. By then I will be in the habit of the daily walks, and I will be ready to tackle the bad weather walking as a healthier version of myself.
I am so looking forward to having a dog in my life again. I have friends with dogs, and friends with cats. I visit them when I can, but it’s not the same as having my own pet here all the time. My house has been very quiet this winter, with no pitter patter of furry friends to come home to. I needed time to mourn for my cats, and decided it was time to get a dog, in the spring. We will be getting ready for that in the next couple of months, and when the right dog crosses our path, we will give it a furever home.
When I first found out I was pre-diabetic (there is no such thing, it is a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes; the doctors just break it to you gently by saying not yet, but really you are a type 2 diabetic). I was told that I would have a chance of not needing medication for it if I removed sugar from my diet, and ate according to Canada’s Food Guide. I tried. I failed. I was so tired all of the time. I was drinking up to 2 litres of cola a day for the caffeine because I was so tired all the time. The sugar was making me tired, so the caffeine was not keeping me awake. I began drinking more cola for more caffeine, and it never worked for very long. I know now what I was doing wrong. Then I switched to diet pop. Aspartame is something I have removed from my life since then. I now choose stevia and erythritol for my sweeteners and drink very little pop. I have one can a day, and not every single day. I choose pop sweetened with stevia, and it took a bit to learn to like it.
I now drink my coffee black. It is healthier this way, and now that I am used to it, I like it like this. Less fuss to prepare it in the morning, and no worries about not wanting to drink it because there is nothing in it. I sometimes drink green tea. I sometimes drink oolong tea in one of my THM drinks. I do not use cola as my main source of caffeine anymore.
I did not tell everyone about being a diabetic for a long time. I feared the food police. I learned this term from a diabetes educator. They are those people who immediately point out what is wrong with everything you eat. You are the person with diabetes, and everyone else thinks they are the expert. It is embarrassing to be an adult and have someone tell you that you shouldn’t eat that because you are a diabetic. Out loud. In front of a room full of people. Or to say that isn’t good for you, because it has sugar in it. People don’t mean any harm, I know it is being said because, on some level, they care about me as a person, and want me to be healthy. However, I am an adult, and this type of criticism is not positive, and can have very negative effects on my self-esteem.
I am a lot tougher than I look. Even if you find me bawling in a quiet place, it is not always because I am sad, it might be because I am SO ANGRY that I sprung a leak. It is a self-defense mechanism that I have had for most of my life, and I hate it. It is the quiet, private way to vent.
Other times I would eat my feelings. I would go buy junk food and regular cola and binge eat. How dare someone point at what I am eating when they are eating something just as unhealthy, or worse than what I am eating. They eat whatever they want, well so will I. The problem with that, other than me gaining weight, is that really I am only hurting myself. That other person doesn’t even know that they did something wrong. THEY THINK THEY ARE HELPING ME. They mean well, but if I am having a sugar low, I might actually NEED that candy I am crunching as fast as I can because my sugars are dropping. It can happen quite suddenly, and I now have juice boxes and suckers with me all of the time. I don’t use them unless I need them.
Maybe I have made plans to take extra insulin because I wanted a treat. I want to be normal, and eat like other people do. I am not, and that is why I am trying SO HARD to change. I have learned that if I give in a little when I have a craving, I won’t be as likely to binge eat as I would if I suppress it. So I do have things that are not on the diabetic diet. I am human. It is more convenient to grab something quick sometimes. I am working on that, just like I am working on me. Most of the time I make healthy choices. So when you see me eating something that isn’t one of those choices, let me be. I know the consequences of my actions, and I will recover to my sensibilities when I am ready.
Just like no person is the same as any other person, no person with diabetes is the same as every other person with diabetes, and no person has the exact same issues with weight that every other person has. That is why it is important for me to write about how I feel, and to share the stories of other people and their issues with weight. We all are experiencing life as a journey, but we still forge our own paths as individuals.
#TrustYourGut
