When I wrote Trust Your Gut part 64, I was struggling. Immensely. I was having difficulty with managing my day to day life, and with controlling my type 2 diabetes. Since then, I have worked really hard and made some positive changes.
I have been unemployed for two months, and I was feeling lost, in many areas of my life, health included. I have had blood work, and the monthly average had gone up again. It was over 10 in the last 3 months, and that is considered high. The three-month average should be under 7 or lower, to be considered as under good control.
I was falling further and further out of control. This had me in such a state that I almost went into full panic mode. I knew I had to make some drastic changes or things would continue getting worse and worse. The complications of diabetes are well documented, and poor blood sugar control only exacerbates the issues.
I made a decision.
I had another appointment at the Diabetes clinic, that is when I found out that my blood sugars went up again. The first thing I did was talk about medications. I have had a prescription for a new medication since the last time I saw my doctor in January. With the job loss, and my husband in a new job, we did not have medical coverage for the new medication, and it was expensive. I had to wait before I could start it.
Meanwhile, my doctor is now aware of the increased 3 month average of my blood sugars. She may not know that I lost my job, and asa result of seeing my last blood work results, I will bet she will be planning to give me a stern talking to when I see her. I hope to distract her with the proof I have been doing much better since I was finally able to start the new medication this past Saturday.
I started to take Victoza. It is an injectable drug, taken once daily. At the diabetes clinic, I was asked if it would be better for me to take it once a week, which required a different prescription for a different drug, or if once a day would be manageable. I decided to stick with the once a day option, as I know myself too well. If I picked Monday for the once a week, and forgot, then as a result, I wouldn’t know what to do. I have been doing really well remembering to take it once a day, with the new system I have had some help to set up at the clinic.
In less than a week, things are SO much better!
Today, I had to call the clinic, only 5 days after starting the new medicine. I have had a blood sugar low, and this means that the new medicine is working SO well, that I have to lower my insulin amounts to compensate. Hallelujah! Progress in the right direction! What a relief!
There are side effects of the new medicine. They are not as bad as they were when I started it. My stomach is settling down, as there were a few upset days. I am hoping that I continue to tolerate it well because my sugars are stabilizing.
What else am I working on?
Furthermore, I asked at the clinic for help to keep track of what I am eating, and my medicine intake. Since I have 2 agendas, I am now using the larger one as a food/water/medicine intake journal. I have kept up with it, and it is helping me to stay accountable. Really, I wasn’t kidding when I wrote that I have proof to bring to my next doctor’s appointment. Sometimes it is okay to ask for help, as long as you are willing to do the work once you get it.
Until this year, I have been asking for help and not getting the right kind of support for my health. I have tried things and been told that I am doing fine, and the appointments would be less frequent, or just stop, so I am pushing harder for the help this time. It is still up to me to do the work, but it feels like I am going to have the right kind of support this time. I just need a little help, to figure out the best way for me to take control of my health. I am happy to say that having a plan, finally, is just what the doctor ordered.
Most importantly, I am working on a lot of things right now. I am not only working on my health, but I am also learning how to organize my days, to have more structure. I needed help with that. Next week I will be seeing a dietitian. I hope things keep going well. For now, I am celebrating a little bit. Something is working, and as a result, it seems like I am going to be able to keep progressing in the right direction for a change.
Have you asked for help and been let down?
Don’t give up. Keep asking. Maybe like me, you haven’t found the right person to help you yet. It only took me 20 years. Sometimes it pays to be stubborn.
I have been following different people at different times in my journey, since it started in November of 2016. There are people who inspire me, people who have become friends, and colleagues in the authorpreneur world. (Yes, that was an intentional spelling, we do combine as authors and entrepreneurs). As a result of my own curiosity and desire to learn, I have discovered that I have issues with anxiety.
I want to explain my own beliefs. First, I believe in the magic of the universe mixes equally with science. In addition, I also have a strong sense of faith. My faith tells me that I do not have to understand how they all mix together, but that they all begin with God. To clarify, I am not writing to preach, but rather to explain why I can openly accept the beliefs of others while staying true to my own.
So, are you still with me? Good. Now that I have given you a basic understanding of my own personal belief system, I can move on to what is prompting me to go there. I have friends who are believers of the magic of the universe, and one of them shared posts about anxiety.
It is more than just being stressed out.
I see a lot of the signs of anxiety in my life. Being a stubborn person, I am strong enough on an average day to use the mind over matter theory. This allows me to carry on without these signs ruling how my day will go. If I am in a situation like I was a couple of weeks ago, on the other hand, things can escalate quickly. Consequently, there are times when I do not know what is happening. Therefore if I don’t recognize the signs, I cannot manage how I am feeling. This can be scary, as a result.
In the past, it has led me to the hospital to make sure my heart is okay. It is. On the day I went to the hospital, I was having a full blown panic attack. There is no reason why I was panicking. It was my anxiety. Until I was aware of what was happening, and since the symptoms were similar to what a woman can experience when having a heart attack, I went to the hospital. Once I understood that my heart was okay, I started to feel better.
The mind can play tricks, as it did in the situation I described above. It can react in a panic attack, and leave me wondering what caused it. As an overacheiver who is all too often too hard on herself, I frequently become overwhelmed. If I am being completely honest, sometimes it happens on a delay with me. I can be perfectly fine and finished with whatever should have made me feel anxious, and then at a later time my body will react. Fun times.
More recent signs have been showing up when I am driving my car. No, it is not road rage I am referring to. It is venting, for a lack of better terms, while I am driving. This has happened in relation to my planning to be on time for something, and angry because circumstances are going to cause me to be late.
I have written about this a little on my own personal Facebook wall, and if you are a follower, then you are already aware that I have been yelling in my car. For example, I try very hard to be on time. As a result, when I am going to be late because of something like the snowplough driver going by and leaving snow in the way of me moving my car or forgetting something at home which I need for the event I am going to, the anger inside of me can cause a meltdown.
When the cork pops on the bottle of my emotions, there is a lot of force behind it.
I recently had a book signing event at a large book store. It is a well known chain within Canada, Chapters. It was a big deal. I left with enough time to arrive early. While I was on the road, I realized I had left my signs at home. Consequently, I had to turn around to go and get them. As a result of this I began losing my composure.
My husband happened to be outside working on widening the driveway and shoveling. I got him to go get the signs, and I continued on my way. After I drove away, I had a mini meltdown in my car. I yelled at myself for being late and I yelled at my husband for not going with me to support me. In addition to the eruption of my frustration, I had a few tears while I expressed my feelings. Guess what? It wasn’t anger or the things I was yelling about which caused the meltdown. It was anxiety.
I try not to keep things bottled up. When I do, it inevitably causes me to have meltdowns. For instance, I certainly never realized until recently that every time I have experienced a meltdown, that the underlying cause was anxiety. most importantly, having this knowledge is something I am going to be able to deal with a little better the next time I am freaking out.
I am glad I know what is happening.
Knowledge is power. With this information, I can learn how to avoid the meltdowns if I know what the cause of them is. I can’t say that I will never freak out or have a meltdown again. As an emotional woman, I know I need to express what I am feeling to be able to grow as a person and to be more creative. Accepting my emotions in various situations has already helped me in both of these areas. As a result, it doesn’t mean I have all of the answers, but it does give me some clues for what to watch out for.
After that, all my worrying, when I arrived at the book signing event I was right on time. On the other hand, I was a jittery mess. When the offer of coffee or water from the Manager on Duty in the store was made, I passed.I chose to have a piece of gum in my mouth, to help calm my nerves. This alone did not calm me down.
Therefore, I was an anxious author until two really good friends showed up. I had packed my own camera, but when they arrived, my friend who also takes amazing pictures was one of the two who came to see me. He took some really great pictures of me at the event, and I will share them here.
The power of friendship.
After my friends came to see me, I noticed I was calming down. As a result of seeing them, I relaxed, so much so that I was able to finish the event with ease. Upon my own reflection, I think the reason I was having such a hard time was both the location of the event, and feeling like I wasn’t getting support. Of course, I absolutely understand that my family and friends support me, and most importantly I know it. I just had to see some familiar faces in the crowd on that busy afternoon to help me remember.
My first book, From Where I am Sitting…A Collection of Cat Tales is available to purchase locally at Artful Persuasion, Chapters, Westminster Books, and Whimsy. If you do not live in Fredericton, you can visit my Bookspage to order your copy online.
In addition to my first book, I am currently writing my second book, #Tishspiration: The Art of Surprising Yourself as well as writing a short story draft for submission to an anthology. The Tishspiration Newsletter is going to be sent out in March, so don’t forget to sign up to get your copy, right from the start…and I just announced yesterday I am working on Tishspiration Station, my Youtube Channel with weekly #Tishspiration videos.
Finally, I want to say thank you to my friends.
In conclusion, I want to thank Ginger for bringing the posts to anxiety not only to my attention but to help many people who have seen them. I also want to thank Matty for taking the pictures and showing up with Ash on my event day. It really meant so much to have them show their support, and,, subsequently, they made me feel so much better during the rest of the event.
Do you have anxiety? How do you manage it in your life? Leave your comments below, and maybe we can help each other cope with it better.
I started a weight loss support group. It seemed like I was doing well at the start, with the weight loss. After the holidays, I gained more weight. I was very disappointed, but, I could only blame myself.
Things changed in my life around the same time. I changed jobs. I was a bundle of nerves, and I did it. After working at the same job for seven years, I took a chance. You can probably imagine how surprised I was to be unemployed three months later. Consequently, I am still adjusting. I am choosing to see this as an opportunity to write full time.
What I do have control over is what I eat. I have been unemployed for almost two weeks, and in that time I lost 10 pounds. I gained one back this week. My eating habits and my sleeping patterns need to be scheduled again. With a schedule, I will have more control.
I had an appointment with my doctor. She was expressing concern about my sugars. They were creeping back up again. One positive thing to note was my blood pressure was good we have been working to improve it. I was overwhelmed that day, and I told her I had nowhere to put the emotions I was fighting to hide.
I was having a hard time. There is no easy way to say it. I was struggling in many areas of my life, and I didn’t know how badly I needed help.
The doctor asked me if she could set up some appointments. With tears rolling down my face, I agreed. At the time, I was concerned about my work schedule. It is no longer an issue. I have had two of the appointments, and am working on the others. One is with the Diabetes Clinic. One is with a social worker. I did not know what to think about it.
The social worker was really nice. She explained that she meets with people to help them find the help they need, by connecting them with resources. If there is one thing I am learning, is that if you can use resources which are available to you. Use them to the fullest advantage.
We talked about the loss of my income. She recommended a community food program for fruits and vegetables. I am looking into it this week. She wants me to go to the career counselling center I had gone to about a year ago. In a few weeks, I will meet with her again.
An appointment with the health coach I had been working with back in the fall will be rescheduled. I had every intention to reschedule. Now I will make time. One would think that becoming unemployed unexpectedly would have left me with a lot of free time.
Why am I busier now?
I am working towards a freelance writing career. I am staying up too late and sleeping in. There is a need to make time for exercise. It will come. I need to catch up on chores. I am starting to work on them. We are eating more meals at home, as we have to be careful with our budget. Healthy eating will be a challenge on a tighter budget. I need to fight my way out of this to be able to take the next steps to managing my health, and my life.
I am making my own schedule. Today I went outside to shovel the snow. It was an attempt at a little fresh air and exercise. There had been a little snowfall today. I wanted to feel like I accomplished something.
Winter is hard on my mental health. I am susceptible to seasonal depression. I am adding vitamin D into my daily routine, to see if it helps. Today was a really hard day. I made myself get up, get dressed, and go outside. I didn’t want to get out of bed. Things will be easier in the spring. For now, I keep fighting.
This week, I accomplished a lot
I relaunched my website and I had some appointments. Today, I fought the winter blues and made my way outside. Tomorrow I am going to cook 2 healthy meal options for myself. I can keep working on my own goals, and stop being a victim of circumstances. I will. It might take some time to get things going in the right direction again. Once I make up my mind, things start happening. It is good to be blogging again. I think I need this part of my life to be active to help me to be accountable. Hopefully, this helps a reader one day too.
It’s hard to start over. How do you get things under control again? Let me know, maybe you can help me as I try to help you.
I have been working for over a month and a half to get to this day. Today I relaunch my website. It wasn’t a simple task for me. I am not trained for any of this. I am using The Easy Author Website; template two of three amazing options. The creator of The Easy Author Website and The Happy Writing Co, helped me to build it, I couldn’t have done it without her. Dionne and a few of my other friends have been very supportive of my journey here on the internet. Without their answers to my questions, it would not have been relaunched.
A website is never really done, is it? There is a risk of it becoming boring and people stop visiting. This is what we bloggers try to avoid. Losing our audience. We work hard to reach out and stay in touch with our frequent visitors, friends, family and supporters. Every blogger needs a support team. To the people who have patiently waited for me to get this show back on the road, thank you.
What has changed?
Many things have changed. I published my first novel in October 2018 and I have been working diligently to organically market it. Marketing is a must in the Indie Author world. To do it organically, without paying for advertising is how I am approaching it. Marketing on social media is tricky to navigate. I have learned about marketing on social media, and I am applying what I learn every day.
Which brings me to more news.
Here I go again. I am starting over.
I am currently working on building a full time writing career. Things changed in my life. I found myself with an opportunity to dive into this adventure with all of my gusto. My peers in the writing community assure me that I can earn a living by writing. It will be up to me to get it started and keep things moving smoothly. I didn’t plan for this to be the way things turned out. Now I can focus on what is important to me for the first time in a really long time. It is scary and new. It feels like the right move for me.
I am going back to the original blogging schedule for now.
Tomorrow, Trust Your Gut Thursday will be back. I have new material to write, for you to read tomorrow. The angry tomato will return for the weekend warrior series. I will be continuing the #Tishspiration Tuesdays. Things may look different, and changes will keep happening. I plan to keep blogging.
The Tish MacWebber Always Blinging…online store opened today!
The store is new on my website. Dionne came to my rescue again. Writing friends are the best. We help each other out. I ask lots of questions and usually, one person out there has the answer I need. I love the supportive writing communities I am active in.
In November, I won first place in the Kit Sora Flash Fiction Contest, sponsored by Engen Books. The name of my first place winning story is Love in a Bottle.
The story was received well in the different places I shared it.
People want to read more, they want to know what happened next. I didn’t know what to put in a newsletter. I have decided that it would be good to add more to this story in it. Every month, I will send a newsletter out, with a new part of this story, and in the future there will be new stories.
I took a chance this fall and paid admission to a prestigious short story competition.
The NYC Midnight Short Story Competition has 3 heats. I have submitted my first story. If I get to keep going, I am up for the challenge. They assign topics, genres and a character to write into your short story. I want to win and there are prizes. The best thing about it is that we all get feedback on our work. It will be priceless to get feedback on how to improve my writing skills.Timing is everything. I am hoping it is my time to shine. I am ready. Are you with me? Let’s go!