Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 35

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 35

by | Oct 26, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 35

Another week, another story.  Here I sit, planning a million and one things in my life all at once.  I have chicken breasts cooking with greek dressing as a marinade.  I have 3lb of ground beef to cook.  2lb for spaghetti sauce, and 1lb for Big Mac Salad.  I will use my spaghetti squash and zucchini when I eat my spaghetti.  Roy will have pasta.  He isn’t following the plan with me, but I must get myself back on track.  So I am planning meals again.

I am not making it to Zumba as much as I would like to be able to.  Transportation is my biggest issue causing me to miss it.  And a stomach bug this week did NOT help.  I am feeling better tonight and starting to look forward.  The weekend is busy, and having food prepped will help me be ready.

Big Mac Salad is something I love to make and eat.

It is really an easy recipe and can be found all over Pinterest.  I cook the ground beef, then add onion soup mix.  I use iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, cheddar, thousand island dressing, dill pickle relish, and to give it the BigMac without the bun garnish, I sprinkle sesame seeds on top.  When you want a BigMac, and you are trying to eat healthier, this is a great way to do it.

The idea is not mine, and like I said, there are many versions online, including the THM Trim Mac Salad which is found in the THM cookbook.  There are recipes that are completely from scratch for the dressing, but I prefer to just use the Kraft Thousand Island dressing.  It does the job.  They even have BigMac sauce for sale now in grocery stores now, if you are a hardcore BigMac fan.

The other thing I like to have made for the burger cravings is Cheeseburger pie.  That is a THM recipe that I make frequently.

You can find a recipe for Cheeseburger Pie at this link: Cheeseburger Pie Recipe

I am not the creator of either recipe, but I can recommend them both as delicious. I like to add tomatoes and dill pickles after it is cooked.  The recipe link shows it being served over lettuce.  I have yet to try it like that. ( I usually eat it straight up.) I also add ketchup and mustard. One time I made my own THM ketchup.  I would like to make it again sometime.  I am working on finding time to cook again, as I am not happy with the way things are now.

I will make cheeseburger pie another night, as I am going to do what I have to do and compromise.  So I am making spaghetti sauce and going to have it on my vegetables.  I am going to keep moving forward on my plan because I need to get going in the right direction again.

If you try the recipes, let me know what you think!

#TrustYourGut

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 35

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 33

by | Oct 13, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 33

Insulation.  Fat. I have it in abundance.  Someone might think that it would result in me being warm all of the time.  That is not true.

Circulation.  Normally, if you have normal circulation, all that warm lovely blood pumping in abundance in your veins keeps you from being cold.

Diabetes.  The chronic condition that I live with every day.  Making it difficult to do a lot of normal things, like staying warm.

What do I do to combat being cold?  Layers.  Yeah, that’s what the morbidly obese person needs to do to keep warm.  Put on layers.  Make yourself appear larger than you actually are.  Brilliant.

A friend told me that I should try wearing a scarf, especially when I started cutting my hair short.  I have one I wear a lot. It is the first scarf that I knit for myself.  It does help.

If I get up and move around, it helps.  Can’t do that at work.  So I layer up.  I do stand up from time to time and get breaks.  But sitting still for seven hours a day in a generally cold office means I have to take my own comfort control.

I have been cleaning.  I unburied the bathroom scale, and am scared to step on it.  I fear the worst.  It is taking me away from the computer and writing, a bit.  It is also a form of “I am not sitting down I am up and moving around so it counts as exercise.

I went back to Zumba.  I got 4800 steps last night.  That is good.

It has been a long two weeks, and I am up too late again, this time with very little inspiration.  So, I will keep on working on me, my house and my writing.

I think I have hit a metaphorical wall.  There is only one thing left to do.  Get back up and try again tomorrow.

#TrustYourGut

 

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 35

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 32

by | Oct 6, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 32

There is an elephant in the room.  For once, there is something bigger than me sitting in here.  On my shoulders, actually.  You can’t see it, but I know it is there.  I call it, “The Overwhelm Elephant.”  It is something that is referred to in terms of this big dark thing that just weighs you down and won’t let you accomplish things.  I have good days and bad days.  Let’s start with the bad ones.

There are days when nothing goes right.  I work, I fight I push and I don’t get anywhere.  Those days are not the days I am referring to.  The Overwhelm Elephant, as I am going to call it, stops all of it.  Even when I am capable of doing things, I just don’t.  I sit and I stew and I waste time and I get nothing accomplished.  The weight on my shoulders is not where it stops.

It puts pressure on my mind.  I used to get pinpoint headaches.  Just a little stabby pain for a minute or less, and then it would be gone. I now think maybe it was the elephant tusk poking at me.  The beginnings of what I feel at its worst.  The pinpoint headaches are not common anymore.  I have different headaches now.

Migraines are not fun.  I get auras, sometimes that is all that happens.  Those are called painless migraines.  When the tension and pressure climb up my shoulders to my neck and scalp, then I feel the start of a tension headache.  Sometimes it feels like spiders are running on spiderwebs all over my scalp.  Tingly, not necessarily painful.  Other times the elephant needs to hang on because it is going to be a rough one.  Those headaches are when the elephant’s trunk is tightening on the circumference of my scalp.  Those can last for days. When there is a throbbing pain involved, that is the worst kind of migraine.  Mine are atypical, and sometimes not as frequent as they used to be, which is a blessing.

The days when there is no reason at all to not be productive at all can be the worst.  It is a head game, with The Overwhelm Elephant.  She is reminding me of every little thing I have to do to be perfect at my health, my housekeeping, my job, and my life.  She doesn’t forget because she has the memory of an elephant.  It is hard to shake that feeling when it sets in.  I have written about it before, but not in reference to an elephant.  For me, it seems to be fitting.

Now for the good days.  I have days when I accomplish things.  I work hard, and I see results.  These are the kinds of days I wish I could have every day.  When I am prep cooking for my health, exercising to relieve stress, writing to pursue my passion, and getting things done while crossing them off my list.  I am a list driven person, and I need to cross things off the list to feel like I am making progress.  There are days I get a lot done, and there are days when I can’t even bring myself to write out the list.  When things seem like they are too big or too many to get finished, it sometimes stops me in my tracks.  On the good days, though, I can shout it from the rooftops, and I want everyone to know what I feel like on a good day.

When I was imagining The Overwhelm Elephant, I went searching for a picture of an elephant to put at the end of my story.  Imagine my surprise when I found one that reminded me of a distant childhood memory, of a road trip with my family.  We were visiting friends of the family, and they took me to an event without my sisters, one thing I got to do as the older sister that I still have a keepsake from.  They made me a ceramic piggy bank to take home, and it has a broken ear, now, but I still keep it with me.  It is sitting, not standing, and it has my name in amongst the polka dots.  Yes, it is a polka dot elephant piggy bank.  And it looks a lot like this:

Pink Polka Dot Elephant

I have had to embrace my emotions and feelings on my journey to becoming a healthier version of myself.  When I start feeling The Overwhelm Elephant taking over next time, I am going to go and pick up my polka dot piggy bank elephant and smile.  Because it will be smiling right back at me.

Trust Your Gut.

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 35

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 31

by | Sep 29, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 31

Another week has come and gone.  Thursday was yesterday.  I am a little sorry that I am writing late this week, but my heart wasn’t in it yesterday, and I want to keep it real and honest with you all. I have suffered a loss nine days ago that has affected me more than I expected in some ways, and just as much as I thought it would in others.  This loss was neither on a scale nor of inches.

There are two certainties in life.  You are born, and you die.  A dear friend of mine lost her battle with cancer nine days ago.  I plan to speak at her Celebration of Life Ceremony tomorrow.  While I was writing what I wanted to say and organizing my thoughts for that, I realized that it was more important for me to focus my attention on it when I decided to do it.  I got a friend to give it a read through in an editorial sense, but because I drafted and edited it myself, she thought that it was a great piece of writing.  So I am sorry if I let anyone down that is following my journey in this category, but all is not lost.  I am here today, and I feel like writing.  If the family is OK with me sharing my story after I read it tomorrow, you can expect to read a different kind of Weekend Warrior story later on this weekend.

So what brought me around, other than the guilt of missing my self-imposed deadline for the weekly story?  I was watching another video along the lines of Branding, and learning more about how to be effective at it.  Wait, what?  How does this relate to a struggle with weight issues?

The guest speaker was talking about taking what makes you mad, and writing about it.  Not an infuriating anger filled frustrated rant, but to use common sense thought processes and provide a solution.  This is the basis of what I want to do here.  I am mad that I am the way I am, physically, and health-wise.  I write about what I need to do, and I learn new recipes and ways to improve my health and change what I am using for fuel in my body to have a positive outcome.  I can write about it, I can think about it, I can talk about it, but the bottom line is, only I can care enough about myself to actually DO something about it.

I seem to be at opposing sides with my food choices.  I will eat a really healthy meal, and then go WAY off track and have junk food or fast food.  Willpower is certainly lacking in my life these days.  I am struggling with some old monsters.  They are ganging up on my inner light and causing me strife.

The feeling that I am never going to be good enough is a main contributing factor in why I weigh over 300 lbs.  I get it from many sources in my life.  My childhood was not bad, not at all, but sometimes the messages were not presented in a way to make me flourish.  I don’t believe people when they compliment me right away.  I need to hear things that are positive about a million times before I believe them, and then I get upset.  I just don’t know how to accept compliments.  I am working on this and getting better about thanking people when they say nice things.  For me, this is a real struggle.

Work is another area where this arises.  Workplace Bullying is wrong, no matter how subtle it is, or who the bully is.  I am not singling out my current employers, let’s be clear about that.  But when I see or experience it, it makes me feel like I am not good enough.  I struggle with that internally, and it is not always somebody else’s fault.  Sometimes I can be too sensitive.  I am learning to stand up for myself, and this is not easy for me to do, either.  As I learn, I have to make mistakes.  Picking battles is a trickier thing than you think it is.  If I was to cry out about every little thing that happened in my life, people would stop listening, stop reading, and stop caring.  Then I would be alone and back to doubting myself.

Sometimes the monsters are on the outside.   That is something that makes me angry.  People that abuse power are the worst kind of bullies, and I come from a long history of being a victim.  I struggle every day to be a good person.  It tears me up inside when that is perceived to be not good enough.  At this point, I can react in two different ways.  I can hide, and cry until I have no more tears.  Or I can speak out.  I am doing more talking, and it does not always go as well as I plan it in my head.  Some things are not OK, and some things need to be confronted.  When things backfire, I do hide for a bit, until I deal with my feelings of being hurt.  Sometimes I can be overzealous in my attempts to stand up for myself.  In these cases, I do get upset, but these days I stand to face the music, instead of turning tail and running.

Still not sure how I am planning to tie this all together?  Well, the ugly monsters inside are the worst ones of all.  The inner bully that kicks you when you are down and sucker punches you when you weren’t looking is pure evil.  We all have the negative self-talk, the hard feelings about one thing or another that we let win.  I have been doing a little too much of that this month.  I am letting the monster win, and that is not going to end well.  I have two choices.  I can do nothing, or I can do something about it.  I think it is time to take action and kick some monster butts.  I feel the inner glow getting a little brighter as I wrote that.  I needed to get it out.  So I am going to take my common sense and use it to change what makes me angry.  For this category, that means I am going to start making better choices and be the change I want to see in myself.  One thing at a time, one choice at a time, one story at a time.

Trust Your Gut.

 

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 35

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 30

by | Sep 21, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 30

I am happy to say that I am doing better.  Not 100% organized or on the plan, but better.  I did get in 2 Zumba classes last week.  Due to things happening in my life that I have to deal with and work through, I was not at Zumba this week.  The good news is that I will be going back.  No worries there, I have to keep going.  I need the outlet, and it is good to get the workouts fit into my week.

It is hard to climb and claw my way back out of a slump.  Sometimes life has other plans.  The good news is that I am cooking again.  Cooking means less junk food.  That is a great thing.  The easy way out is not always better, in fact, it is usually the wrong way.  I attack a lot of my own problems from the wrong side, not the easy way first.  I just use my stubbornness to my advantage and push my way through whatever is going on.

I have said prep cooking and planning are key points for my success.  I have said that I need to stop making excuses.  I have actually made progress with both of those tasks.  However, I am still not ready to commit to being on THM 100%.  Why?  There are two reasons.  One is that it is a lot of work.  I have to plan and cook.  It would be great if my husband was following the plan with me, but he is not.  There are just some things he refuses to eat.  So that is one of my lingering excuses. The other is a fear of success.  The success itself would be wonderful.  But then

The other is fear.  Fear of success.  The success itself would be wonderful.  But then what?  After I find my way to being healthier, and the need for the push is over, then I would have other, new issues.  I may need plastic surgery for excess skin.  I may give in a little more until I find that I am putting the weight back on.  I may lose my gumption halfway and fall off the wagon and revert to my old ways.

Let’s face it, I didn’t become morbidly obese overnight.  I didn’t choose this path for myself.  I choose what to eat and drink.  I choose to not exercise and do things that I find more fun.  I choose to listen to the monster that wants junk food instead of the beautiful inner spark that longs for freedom, and the power to defeat that monster.  So what is it going to take?

I already know.  I have to want it bad enough to do the work.  I have to want it bad enough to plan it out.  I have to want it enough to have to go shopping for a new wardrobe. Hmm…I may be on to something with that last one.

The biggest reason for anyone facing weight issues is themselves.  You have to pick a path, follow it, and commit to seeing it through.  Here is the kicker.  At least for me, it is.  You have to believe in yourself.  You have to believe that you are worth the effort, and that you are going to stick to it, and that you are going to come out OK on the other side of changing your entire life.  You simply have to do it, succeed at it, and change your life for the better.  Shut that monster up with salad.  Don’t forget to drown it with water, and feed the inner beauty healthy morsels of amazing food choices.  Take her out for a walk.  She needs to get fresh air and exercise to thrive.  A little sunshine is always a nice treat.

She is worth the effort, and so are you.

Trust Your Gut.