Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 47

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 47

by | Jan 19, 2018 | Trust Your Gut

This week in Trust Your Gut, I want to focus on the big picture for this category. I am morbidly obese, with type 2 diabetes, thyroid disease, and a few other less dramatic health issues. The ones that relate here the most are the ones that I write about. However, when I started writing in this category, I did have a bigger picture in mind.

Some people have participated in telling their stories here. It is a brave thing to do, to write down one of the biggest things that play such a large role in your day to day life. Your weight, your appearance, how you see yourself, and how you think the rest of the world sees you. I work on this material every week, and lately, I have been finding myself at a loss for what to write about.

My story is written to be real, and honest. It is relatable, and I know that it resonates with many of the people that read this Blog, maybe only for this story every week. I really appreciate each and every one of you that have become fans of this category, and the whole Blog, of course.

Don’t worry, I am not dumping it. I will still be writing every week. What I want to do is to reach out to more people. I have a one-sided view of the struggles I am having with my weight. One thing that women, and of course men and children have in common in this world is that we all have imperfections that we do not like about ourselves. It might be that you are struggling with a number, but not the one on the scale, the one on the tag of your clothing, the size. Another person may have issues with not seeing their true self in the mirror. Some people look at their reflection and see what used to be there, or see themselves as fat when in reality, they aren’t.

Karen Carpenter’s story is a well-known story about a real person who had everything to live for but died from anorexia and complications related to that disease. Bulimia is another issue that people have that is not something that I could imagine having to deal with, but I know that there are people out there that struggle just as hard as I do, with their own issues relating to their weight. I was watching This Is Us and this week they touched on another side character’s story. She has been written into the show as a person who is dealing with the perception that she is fat, overeating, and purging after she eats too much. That is a very basic description of bulimia.

Stories about people that have these other issues are not mine to tell. They are the stories of other people. They could be featured here in this category, as a side character story. I am hoping that this week someone reads this and thinks that they might be brave enough to share their story. I would love the opportunity to help you help yourself by telling the story, and maybe you can help someone else that is just like you. That is my ultimate goal here, with my story. I want to help people like me, with ideas of new things to try and to share what is working for me, and what is not.

If you are like me, struggling with the overweight end of the scale, I am open to stories from everyone that is brave enough to share them here. If you are not a writer, I can talk to you and work with you to develop a story here for you, or I can send some questions and we can write it like an interview, where you answer some or all of the questions, whatever you are comfortable sharing.  Let’s face it, I do have a story to tell, but if it is always my story, at some point it will be repetitive and boring. That will make people lose interest, and that would not help people like I have intended to do here.

If you have contributed to this category in the past, and want to write an update, that is also something that I would be very happy to set up with you. I am always trying to help people, and learning about different people and their issues helps me just as much as reading my story can help you.

My gut is telling me that it is time to put out an invitation to new and different stories and points of view here, in this category. If you are reading this, and have a story to tell, please reach out to me in the comments below, or in a private e-mail (tishmacwebber@gmail.com with the subject: Trust Your Gut Submission). I sincerely want to hear from people that are struggling with their weight, on either end of the scale, so that together, we can help each other, and help people like us.

#TrustYourGut

 

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 47

Trust Your Gut, Tish’s Story; Part 45

by | Jan 5, 2018 | Trust Your Gut

This week in Trust Your Gut, I am not sure what to write about. I have done better with food choices. In fact, I tried something new. I bought Green Giant riced cauliflower and sweet potato in the frozen vegetable section of the grocery store, a while back. I am not afraid to try new things, but I will admit that it sat in the freezer for longer than had I intended it to. I had some THM Crispy Lickin’ Chicken Thighs in the oven, so I decided to make this new thing my side dish.

I cooked it in the bag in the microwave. There are stove top directions, but I wasn’t ready to try frying it just yet. I cooked it, and added butter to it and mixed it in. I really liked it. I was full with the chicken and the sweet potato cauliflower rice. I have split it into 2 meals, and have my own healthy “TV dinner” packed in the fridge, ready to heat and eat.

I also finished up the loaded spaghetti squash casserole that I made last week. I had it for lunch at work the last two days. I am not sure if I am going to take the chicken meal for lunch tomorrow, or if it might be a sandwich day. Sometimes I take eggs and scramble them for lunch with cheese. Whatever I bring, I am trying to have healthier choices again.

I have not had Zumba classes this week, but I expect to have some shoveling to do for activity tomorrow. It is called a weather bomb cyclone, and there was a large snowfall warning overnight. It is freezing rain out there now, so I am not sure if there will be any snow to shovel tomorrow or not. I will see in the morning. We have a late start time, and work was closed early today, which is very unusual, that does not happen very often. Neither does a bomb cyclone. It is the first time I have heard of a winter storm with that name.

I am also trying to get more sleep in. It has been a busy December with building the website in all of my free time. Now that it is here, although not finished, it is not the cause of stress to meet the launch deadline. I know that 6 hours of sleep is technically enough to squeak by on, it is not ideal. I am trying to get in more sleep when I can. I don’t want to get sick, and I know I will have a better chance at being healthier if I make sleep more important in my goals for a healthier lifestyle. I have been pushing my limits. I know I need to slow down. Just a little.

The website is launched. The Holidays are over. Now is the time to continue to work on living a healthier lifestyle.   I keep working towards my goals. When I start seeing results, it will be just the incentive I need to keep going. My defining word for 2018 is SUCCESS. I plan to make it happen.

#TrustYourGut

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 47

Trust Your Gut, Tish’s Story; Part 43

by | Dec 21, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 43

43, just like me! Sometimes, when I look at the number of the story I am writing, I just have to shake my head. I am still coming up with ideas, so I am still going to keep writing. Sometimes the stories are short, and other times I ramble on a little long, but there is usually a point or a lesson, or a laugh somewhere in it, right?

This story starts with my Zodiac sign. I was born in July, and that makes my sign Cancer, the Crab. It aligns with my fascination for water. I don’t like that it is called cancer, but I didn’t name it. I just live with it, and try to navigate life with all the knowledge I can gather. I have friends that believe in many different things, and that is fine by me. I don’t necessarily believe everything I read about the sign I am under, but it is fun to read my horoscopes once in a while.

Why am I writing about this? Well, I got to thinking this week that I have that sign, and years ago when I met my husband, I told him that I had a wall. To protect me from the rest of the world. It took time to build up the trust to let him in, to where my heart is. I have no regrets, we are still very much a united front in marriage, and he is my bull. His sign is Taurus. We are a good fit for each other.

I was thinking like I ALWAYS do, and I thought that the crab has a shell, like the metaphorical wall I used to keep around myself for protection. So in a way, the two are the same. But what does the shell do for the crab?

It keeps it from getting hurt. It keeps other animals from having crab legs for lunch. The world can be cruel and harsh, and the fear of being eaten alive, either literally for the crab, or metaphorically for me, is a real fear.

I have spent a lot of time keeping things to myself, over the years. When I started the blog, I also started putting myself out there. I write about how I am feeling, what I am doing, and whatever else I happen to think up.

The protective shell, physically, for a morbidly obese person, is fat. Layers and layers of fat. It doesn’t deflect every mean word or thing that it encounters. But if you are quiet, and try to stay under the radar, by just being a blob in the corner, you can minimize the number of attacks that you could encounter by hiding within it. It is almost like jello, but not everything bounces off the surface like it would after the jello is set.

My layers of fat are set. I have had them for years. I have hidden inside them for the majority of my life. It is not healthy, but it is the comfort that I know.

I know it isn’t easy to be a morbidly obese person. I know it might surprise you that I go to Zumba twice a week, every week that I can. I know it would be easier to just not care and eat my way into an early grave.

Do you hear that? It is a teeny, tiny little version of myself that is squeaking to get out. It wants to be free and to be healthy. It wants me to do the work, and be proud of myself for every little bit of progress that I make. I went to Zumba twice this week, even though my seasonal depression (which is not officially diagnosed) is starting to kick me into hibernation mode. It is cold outside. I might fall down, again. I am almost recovered from falling a week and a half ago. I got back up. I was bruised, but not broken. I am tougher than I look. Which was pretty bad about a week ago. I don’t want to go into the land of ice and snow at all, anymore. I am scared to fall down.

I got back up. Every morning that I fight my way out of dreamland and my warm bed to face a new day is just the same thing for me. It is a struggle, but I do it, every day.

One day I won’t be able to. I used to worry about that day a lot more than I do now. I am proud of what I have done, and I am setting some goals for the upcoming year. I have started cooking healthier food again. I am trying, and then I am doing the things that I need to do.

The easy way is lazy, cowardly, and hidden under layers of morbidly obese fat. I am tired of hiding. It is time to let my inner glow have a turn at making me shine for all the world to see. I am going to work harder on myself than I ever have before, in 2018. There are things I want to accomplish before my time is done, and I am determined (stubborn) enough to fight to get them done.

#TrustYourGut

 

 

 

Treasure Seeker Tuesday #11

Treasure Seeker Tuesday #11

by | Dec 19, 2017 | Treasure Seeker Tuesdays

We are on the verge of a new year, Treasure Seekers! I have alluded to picking a word to define my 2018 earlier in the week. I picked the word success. I want 2018 to be my most successful year ever.

What does that mean to me? Well, I sat down and wrote a list for my Facebook posts until New Year’s Day. I started this on December 17th, and that gives me a count of 15 days until January 1st.

Here is my list of what it would mean to have a year of Success in 2018:

15.Launching my Website on January 1st, 2018. (I have 14 more days to work on this)

14.Learning how to make a proper Launch and Landing page before the website launch on January 1st, 2018. Also setting up an email list and starting a newsletter.

13.Finish writing more than 1 book. At least 2 published and writing my Fantasy Trilogy Book 1 by a year from now.

12. Supplementing my income with sales from my website.

11.Plan a real vacation. 2 weeks. Need to fly to get there and back. 2 days before and after, 10 days at the destination.

10.Jewellery sales increasing after adding the jewellery to the website.

9.Using my 2 new 2018 planners to the fullest extent.

8.Purging things. Lots of things. More than last year.

7.Finishing the Housecleaning challenge. A Bowl Full of Lemons runs it, check it out online here. There is a Facebook Group, but it is a closed group. You will need to ask to join it if you are interested in that.

6.Having a job related to the field of writing.

5.Collaborating with musicians to get at least one of my songs recorded and playable for other people to hear. Writing more lyrics.

4.Getting a new pet (or a duo).

3.Becoming more active.

2.Lose weight the right way

1.Become a Best Selling Author.

I know. That list is ambitious. It reflects my current mindset and goals. I am writing it here and now (and all the rest of December on my Facebook page) because I am not making New Years Resolutions this year. I am just going to set the bar high and do my best to make my way over the top.

I challenge you all to do the same. Let’s make 2018 the best year ever. I am starting now. What about you?
As always, feel free to comment on what this post meant to you when you read it. If you pick a word or want to share a list of your own, I would be happy to see it.

#TreasureSeekerTuesday

Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Photo by Tish MacWebber; Photo Edited by Noa Price

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 47

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 42

by | Dec 15, 2017 | Trust Your Gut

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 42

 

I got creative in the kitchen, yesterday. It has been a while. I made brown rice and added fresh mushrooms, green onion, and leftover roast beef in it. I used hoisin sauce. It was in the cupboard, so I used it. It made supper for 2 last night, and my lunch today. I have a little roast beef and green onion left for my roast beef special sandwich for lunch tomorrow. I really love roast beef, green onion, tomato, mayo and A1 sauce done up like a roast beef salad sandwich. My mom named it The Roast Beef Special, and I make it every time I cook a roast beef in the oven.

It has been a busy year for me. I have been working hard on the book, the website, the organizing, the blog, and building my business from the ground up. I have spent hours working on all of these things, but I think I forgot something along the way. Me. My health. I got lazy.

It is so much easier to be lazy and not do the work needed to live a healthier lifestyle. I have lost and gained. I am again scared to weigh myself. I am just not wanting to know the bad news. I am getting back into the practice of making better choices. I have to. My health depends on it.

I have had to work on the insulin levels again. That means I am doing better, when I start having lows it means I am needing to lower the dose. That means my body is responding to the things that I am doing right.

We are on the edge of a food-centered holiday. I am not sure how well I will do. On one hand, I can make treats and try to stick to the THM plan. It is a good way to try to plan ahead. There will be times, though when I will not be in control of the meal, and I will have to make the best choices that I can at the time. Other times I will make things that I know will be good choices to have to eat when I can. So I do have a plan. Sort of.

I also need to start making the moonshine again. Yes, you read that right. THM has a recipe for Good Girl Moonshine. GGMS as it is called, has water, apple cider vinegar, and ginger with a sweetener in it. I add Black Cherry Berry Celestial Seasonings tea to mine. I really enjoy drinking it, and it makes you run to release it if you catch my drift. I have learned that I should not drink it during the day while I am at work. I can have it after work and on the weekends, though. I bought a mason jar with a spout just for the GGMS. I think it is time for a test run. I need to start making little changes now so that I will be on track for 2018.

Have you started thinking about New Year’sResolutions yet? I have, and I will get them organized and plan things out better this year. I did a lot in 2017. What do I want to accomplish in 2018? More. I want to take everything I have done in 2017 and do it better in 2018.  It is a place to start, and to build on. That is something I can do, start with little things, and push my limits and go for everything. One thing at a time, then another, and another. I have to start somewhere, and I am not going to wait. The only one that loses out if I keep putting things off is me. And the only thing I want to lose is weight. The time is now.

#TrustYourGut