by Tish MacWebber | Dec 21, 2017 | Trust Your Gut
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 43
43, just like me! Sometimes, when I look at the number of the story I am writing, I just have to shake my head. I am still coming up with ideas, so I am still going to keep writing. Sometimes the stories are short, and other times I ramble on a little long, but there is usually a point or a lesson, or a laugh somewhere in it, right?
This story starts with my Zodiac sign. I was born in July, and that makes my sign Cancer, the Crab. It aligns with my fascination for water. I don’t like that it is called cancer, but I didn’t name it. I just live with it, and try to navigate life with all the knowledge I can gather. I have friends that believe in many different things, and that is fine by me. I don’t necessarily believe everything I read about the sign I am under, but it is fun to read my horoscopes once in a while.
Why am I writing about this? Well, I got to thinking this week that I have that sign, and years ago when I met my husband, I told him that I had a wall. To protect me from the rest of the world. It took time to build up the trust to let him in, to where my heart is. I have no regrets, we are still very much a united front in marriage, and he is my bull. His sign is Taurus. We are a good fit for each other.
I was thinking like I ALWAYS do, and I thought that the crab has a shell, like the metaphorical wall I used to keep around myself for protection. So in a way, the two are the same. But what does the shell do for the crab?
It keeps it from getting hurt. It keeps other animals from having crab legs for lunch. The world can be cruel and harsh, and the fear of being eaten alive, either literally for the crab, or metaphorically for me, is a real fear.
I have spent a lot of time keeping things to myself, over the years. When I started the blog, I also started putting myself out there. I write about how I am feeling, what I am doing, and whatever else I happen to think up.
The protective shell, physically, for a morbidly obese person, is fat. Layers and layers of fat. It doesn’t deflect every mean word or thing that it encounters. But if you are quiet, and try to stay under the radar, by just being a blob in the corner, you can minimize the number of attacks that you could encounter by hiding within it. It is almost like jello, but not everything bounces off the surface like it would after the jello is set.
My layers of fat are set. I have had them for years. I have hidden inside them for the majority of my life. It is not healthy, but it is the comfort that I know.
I know it isn’t easy to be a morbidly obese person. I know it might surprise you that I go to Zumba twice a week, every week that I can. I know it would be easier to just not care and eat my way into an early grave.
Do you hear that? It is a teeny, tiny little version of myself that is squeaking to get out. It wants to be free and to be healthy. It wants me to do the work, and be proud of myself for every little bit of progress that I make. I went to Zumba twice this week, even though my seasonal depression (which is not officially diagnosed) is starting to kick me into hibernation mode. It is cold outside. I might fall down, again. I am almost recovered from falling a week and a half ago. I got back up. I was bruised, but not broken. I am tougher than I look. Which was pretty bad about a week ago. I don’t want to go into the land of ice and snow at all, anymore. I am scared to fall down.
I got back up. Every morning that I fight my way out of dreamland and my warm bed to face a new day is just the same thing for me. It is a struggle, but I do it, every day.
One day I won’t be able to. I used to worry about that day a lot more than I do now. I am proud of what I have done, and I am setting some goals for the upcoming year. I have started cooking healthier food again. I am trying, and then I am doing the things that I need to do.
The easy way is lazy, cowardly, and hidden under layers of morbidly obese fat. I am tired of hiding. It is time to let my inner glow have a turn at making me shine for all the world to see. I am going to work harder on myself than I ever have before, in 2018. There are things I want to accomplish before my time is done, and I am determined (stubborn) enough to fight to get them done.
#TrustYourGut
by Tish MacWebber | Dec 17, 2017 | Weekend Warrior
Well, another weekend is coming to a close, and I have hibernated for as much of it as I could. Winter is here, and it has been cold outside. Sleeping in was on my list, and I can say that it happened indeed. I woke with no alarm clocks being set for 2 days in a row. It was glorious. My favourite thing about the weekend is sleeping in. Sometimes I have to get up and go do things, but not this weekend. I stayed home and did things here instead.
Friday night I didn’t even go get the car. I came home after a day of Christmas Cheer at work. I had to decorate my pod for Christmas, and I did it up right!
I don’t know why the pic is squished, and I had to add a little bit of graphics to hide the photo bomber. 😀 The wall on the left had a lot more Christmas balls hanging before I was done. My taller Santa is on the top right, and there were 2 gingerbread people behind where my head was by the time I had finished. I had fun, and I am hoping that my efforts earned me a prize.
I had to pack it all up at the end of the day and brought it all home. I have just encouraged Roy to clear a space for the Christmas tree and village in the living room. Since it is a small tree, I will set it all up in the little spot I had him clear. I will share pics of that next weekend after I have time to set it all up. There is just the two of us, so no need to make a big production. I do want to set it up, though. Tis the Christmas Season, and I am wanting to take a pic with it after it is all done.
Saturday was spent working on Social Media. I am working on building my author profile, as you know if you are reading my blog, and I came across a post by a friend asking about what word I would want to use to define my 2018. I thought about it, and 2017 was worthy of 2 words. Learning and Challenges. As I thought about it, really not that long at all, a word came right to the forefront of my mind that I wanted it to be. I then turned it into a graphic and made it my cover pic on my wall.
Also this weekend, I have set goals for working on my website, done 2 completely different profile pics in preparation for my Author Headshot, and also for my Blog. I am launching the monthly Makeup Monday category tomorrow. I will not be posting there every week, I have 3 weekly posts now, and if I add too much more I will not have any time to write my books! I can say that I am steeping the GGMS I wrote about making on Thursday, in Trust Your Gut and that I have 3 types of chicken cooking in my oven as I write this. Last week was more of a ground beef week, this week it is all about the chicken!
I will be sharing more about my word choice for 2018 in Treasure Seeker Tuesday this week. Which means the one I wrote for this week is now scheduled for Boxing day. What? I actually have a Tuesday already drafted for 2 weeks in the future AND I know what I want to write about this week? I think I might actually be getting a handle on this blogging thing. I would love to get ahead enough that I don’t sweat missing the deadlines anymore. But, as I have said before and will again, progress is progress.
I did not go out into the cold and snow this weekend, but my Ambivert Personality has to be balanced somehow. I found out this past week that when I do the personality type quizzes, that I am sometimes an Extrovert, and other times an Introvert. That tells me I am a little of both, which is called an Ambivert. I like being social, and outgoing, but not all of the time. Sometimes I need a weekend or two to just be at home relaxing. I can do either when I want to, but I also equally enjoy both activities.
Do you have a Defining Word picked out for 2018 yet? If you do, please share it below, and keep it in mind for Tuesday. If you are up for a challenge, I have an idea that you can participate in if you want to try an experiment with me.
#WeekendWarrior
by Tish MacWebber | Dec 12, 2017 | Treasure Seeker Tuesdays
Double Digits. Do you remember when you turned 10 years old? I remember that it seemed like a big deal at the time. I had lived through my first decade. I never had any real big parties for my birthday, it was in the summer, and I lived outside of town. I remember the day I found out in grade one that my phone number was long distance and nobody wanted my phone number to call me. That broke my little six year old heart. I didn’t understand what it even meant at the time, except that none of my new friends wanted to call me because of my phone number.
I am still feeling a bit out of the loop in the modern world. My household budget does not have room in it for a cell phone. I don’t NEED it to survive, I am getting along just fine without it. However, I work in the industry, and it is hard to not want to be connected in the land of text messaging as it happens, literally all around me every day.
I don’t want just a cell phone when I finally get the go-ahead from my hubby to get one. He manages our household budget, and I am eagerly awaiting the day when I can make plans for purchasing things like the next pet we bring home, 2 cell phones, attending an event that I really want to go to, my next bottle of wine, and a second car. For now, we make ends meet, and we work hard to get what we can within our budget.
One of the most important features for me when I finally do get a cell phone will be to get one with a really good camera. I use Pixabay and Canva as resources in most of my blog pictures. The picture above was actually taken by me with my Olympus 2.8 x Optical Zoom 5.0 Megapixel camera. I try to get good quality pictures with it, but sometimes they are a little out of focus because I am not a photographer. I will need a camera that is so advanced that it makes me appear to be a good photographer so that I can feel more confident about sharing my own pictures here and on my website. I am still working on that project in the midst of everything else, and I have a lot of the planning done in my head, just not executed on the internet. It will happen. I am going to plan a launch for it, and I hope that all of my current followers here will follow me and the blog to my website.
The other thing a cell phone is going to need for me to consider purchasing it is an ease of transferring the pictures for storage on my computer. I need the phone and computer to be able to work together. As I have a PC, I am guessing I may have to go with an android phone. I do know that there are many opinions out there about cell phones, and I would love to find out more information on which ones have the best cameras, work well for listening to music, and are easy to get to talk to my computer. It also needs to be reliable and wants to be easy to use. I have not yet owned a smartphone, and I am impatiently waiting for the day that I get to share my digits with my friends and family. It would be useful for blogging in my spare time, too, or checking out how the blog looks on a smaller screen.
With the recent change in Canadian Laws regarding unlocking cell phones, I am less restricted by what phone I can get, as I can use it with any Canadian carrier, including the company I work for; if I decide to go with that company. I am not as concerned with what provider I choose as I am about the camera. So I pose the question here: What cell phone would you be getting if this was your decision, with these requirements in mind? I know there are some people out there that are fiercely brand loyal, and that is OK, but if you only buy one type of phone, it may be harder for you to be objective in answering this question.
Double digits. Phone numbers. Megapixels. Optical Zoom. It all goes back to numbers. Which I am not all that crazy about. I am passionate about writing, and in the Blogging world, a good quality picture can mean the difference between someone choosing to stop and read your article or not. Blogging is something I am still fairly new at, but I know it is something that I enjoy. I will keep working with the tools I have until I can purchase something better. So, I ask you, Treasure Seekers, what would you be spending your gold on if you were in my shoes?
#TreasureSeekerTuesday
by Tish MacWebber | Dec 5, 2017 | Treasure Seeker Tuesdays
Here we are again for another Treasure Seeker Tuesday. How are we this week? I have launched my December Beaded Snowflake Contest on Facebook with a live video.
Here is the link, I have it on my own, personal Facebook wall. It is where I am most active on my own and my author social platform.
Treasure Seeker Beaded Snowflake Contest Video
I have never shared a video on my Blog before…let’s cross our fingers that it works.
The information for the contest is in the written part, with links. It was fun. I like videos, they are usually short for me, and I just wing them. Usually.
In #Momentum18 #Week2 #Day4 the challenge was to write a blog post about the challenge. I think it is supposed to be about this current week, but my mind is still lingering on last week’s challenge.
What I learned about myself is nothing new. At least, not to me. I wanted to launch something for my blog. It was an idea I had, and I wanted to try something different. I have been thinking about it for almost 2 weeks now. Do you want to know what I learned?
I have to go back to the drawing board. You see, I am quite determined (stubborn) and I am not ready to give up on the idea of what I want to do. This idea, however good it sounded at the time, will have to wait.
I need to prepare to launch my own website. It was in limbo during November while I was writing :
Yes, that is the draft of a cover for my first book. There is a story behind the picture, of course, and it will be in the book. So that is something that I am working on, but have to put aside for the website building. (Thanks to my friend Noa Price for help with this cover picture and design advice).
This book was never even supposed to be written. I wasn’t going to do NaNoWriMo. I have learned that when an idea strikes, and it is a good idea, especially in terms of writing, that I should just write it. I am in the middle of writing the first draft of this book and will be continuing to write it after I launch the website. Unless my brain has other ideas that I am not currently aware of.
That is what is the most important thing to me right now, launching my website, not a checklist. I have been brainstorming and thinking about how to use a different theme to make it the same, but different, and to make it better than the WordPress website that hosts my Blog right now. I am not working it to my fullest potential, here, and I need to get out of the brainstorming process and put the ideas into action. Like that book I am writing. I can put it aside, for a month, and really spend every spare second into getting that website finished so I can have a place to promote and sell this book when it is ready.
I have to prioritize what I need to do first, or nothing will get done. I did work on writing the book in November. I prioritized that as my main project for November. In December, I need to make a beaded snowflake for the contest prize, maintain consistency on the blog, and get the website ready and launched.
When I launch the website, I will be gathering information on how to also launch a newsletter by Tish MacWebber. When that is ready, I will have a launch for that to get it up and running. I hope that the Treasure Seekers will all sign up. I expect it will be starting with a monthly publication, at least until I get the feel for what I want to do with it.
What are you working on in December? Do you like the book cover I designed with the help of my friend? Are you ready to move along with me to bigger and better things? I hope so because when I decide to get something done, nothing stands in my way.
#TreasureSeekerTuesday
Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Photo by Tish MacWebber; Photo Edited by Noa Price
by Tish MacWebber | Nov 22, 2017 | Treasure Seeker Tuesdays
I did some soul searching this past week. I am looking to find a way to support myself through my creativity. It is not going to happen overnight. I am writing books, and I make beaded jewellery, and I am trying to stay focused.
I have been trying to figure out how to put all the pieces together, and to get ahead. It is an ambitious goal, to be able to support myself by living out my dreams. I am working hard but wanted to explore another what if.
I considered looking into becoming a graphic designer. I am learning so much and challenging myself. I am building a website. For a split second, I wavered. I thought about how much easier it would be for me to tackle a project like that if I learned how to do things properly. If I had the knowledge, it would be easier, and I could advance my own website and launch a career with my own website being my social proof. It would be the best way to start a career.
I thought about it. Really, really thought about it. Hard.
I came to a conclusion. I do not need to branch off in another direction. I have found my passion and the best creative outlet. I need to write. I want to keep doing beadwork, but I need to write. I have been on this journey for a year, now. I have written consistently on the Blog, and I am aiming higher. I want to be a full time writer. I need to write, it is what I am supposed to do.
It is not the easiest decision because it is not going to happen overnight. It is going to take more hard work and dedication. It will try my patience and have challenges. Building a website has already presented me with a roadblock, that I put up myself. I had to sit with it, and sleep on it, and think about it. I have plans, and they will be tackled next month. This month I am writing.
Going in a different direction now would be a disaster. I have found something that feels right to me. It is a dream I had put away for so long that I almost forgot about it. When I started this Blog a year ago, it was to see if it was something I could stick to. Often I have taken on projects and put them aside. I have not stopped writing here, in fact, I have added more to it in this category. I am doing it. Writing consistently. Posting three times a week. Building on what I started a year ago, and proving to myself that it wasn’t another hobby. This is it. My calling. I am so glad that I took a chance and started something new. I am still being contacted by people for advice on how to start their own blog. I can only offer advice and honesty in return for the inquiries. I do know that if I can do it, anybody can. It may not be something that everyone enjoys doing like I do. It may not be someone else’s passion. But it is possible. I am not an expert, but I am having fun, and I still want to keep doing this. When you find out what you are really good at, you will know. If something else catches your attention, think about it, and make a decision. I know that I need to focus on what I need to do and stop being distracted by other choices. This is something I learned in the past year. I look forward to writing and sharing more of this journey here, on the Blog, and seeing where the next year takes me. It is going to see my Blog move to my website. That is something I am not ready for today, but I have the groundwork started and will be focusing on a new launch date, to be announced before it is officially moved.
Until then, I am writing a book for NaNoWriMo, and having a lot of fun with it. Writing in the different points of view of the cats I used to have has been a real trip down memory lane. Oops, did I just let the cat out of the bag? Yes, I am writing a book about cat stories, written as if they are telling the stories. At this point, every single word is breaking a record for the most words I have written with a book as the final goal. That is something that I am holding on to, whether or not I finish the 50,000 word count goal this month. I am going to do my best to pull it off by the end of the month. I still have time. I am also thinking about my fantasy trilogy, and writing notes to myself as they pop into my brain.
I am doing what I can to chase my dreams and catch them so I can make them a reality in my life. What are you dreaming about doing? What is stopping you from trying something to help you find your passion? I am Always Thinking…so if there is something that you want to say out loud to someone, that you want to put into writing, reach out to me, and I will help you if I can. I am finding something else that surprised me about this journey. People want to reach out, and ask advice. I may not know all of the answers, but I can tell you that if you are scared to ask questions, I’m not. I will ask for you if I don’t know the answer to your questions myself. It is something that I am known for. It is how I learn. The other big lesson I learned is to never give up. Being stubborn, it is a hard thing for me to do, to give up. Sometimes, it takes distance to reevaluate the problem, and then try it from another angle. Which I am working on right now in my book writing goals and my website building project. It will happen. It may take more than one attempt, but I have faith in myself that I will succeed. If you want to do something that makes your heart sing, be realistic in your expectations, and go for it. I am, and I am so happy that I took a chance on something that makes me happy. I want the same for all of you. If I can help, I will. All you have to do is ask. 🙂
#TreasureSeekerTuesday
Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Photo by Tish MacWebber; Photo Edited by Noa Price
