Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 78 | What Is Your Relationship Status With Food?

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 78 | What Is Your Relationship Status With Food?

I have written before about emotional eating. I do it, and I am trying to change my relationship with food. It is not easy to change, but I am working on it, and I am making progress. Little by little, I am making changes and seeing results. Not too long ago, I wasn’t aware of how much I let food rule my world.

Living with type 2 diabetes; food is something that I can obsess about. It is easy to go for a quick and easy meal or snack when I tell myself I am stopping my blood sugars from dropping. Without testing, it is very hard to know whether the blood sugars are high or low. I know what to watch for, but it doesn’t mean that I can always tell.

I am working on taking my health more seriously this year. Since I have been testing my blood sugars more frequently, they are finally getting back to normal ranges. I am paying more attention, and my efforts are paying off. If I am going to do this, I need to remember to take my medications. It is good to be able to write that I am back on track with this.

On Being Kind To Myself

Choosing to prioritize my own health care IS being kind to myself. Making poor choices or slacking off is not. I saw the result of that over the holidays, and it was not pretty. Implementing changes like keeping track of taking my medicine or checking my sugars is a huge accomplishment.

In the fall, I bought myself some new clothes. Two new dresses, one casual and one for a special occasion. As I was in need of new dressier boots, I found a new pair and a new pair of casual shoes too. I don’t go shopping for clothes frequently, and there are times I go out and come home with nothing. When I find good sales on clothes or footwear, I usually get what I can; when the odds are in my favour.

Making a pointed effort to not go out and buy clothing regularly is telling myself that I am not worth the effort of going to shop for myself. While I can’t afford to buy new clothes every month, I should make an effort when I am in need.

How About My Dance More Goal?

I did Zumba at home 2 times last week. I have fallen behind on cleaning at home. Sometimes I switch it in when I need to get some cleaning done in place of the dancing. Recently I worked on switching the makeup area in my master suite by moving two storage shelving options around.

Dancing is the goal, but I needed to adapt it a bit to allow for any movement that is being done on purpose. Running errands, window shopping, even doing laundry and putting it away (not my favourite thing to do) is moving on purpose. Any activity is an extra activity for me now.

Being aware of the need to be more active means nothing if I am not actually making changes. It is not easy. Neither is shoveling snow, but it is necessary for the winter where I live. I also count it as an activity.

How Do I Stay Motivated?

One thing I learned a while ago when I was feeling bad about the state of my house is that if I watched the shows on TLC about Hoarders, it can inspire me to do more cleaning in my home. I am a packrat, not a hoarder. I can purge and throw things out or donate them. It isn’t always easy, but it can be done. I do need to be in the mood to tackle cleaning my home, and watching this show helps. It shows how bad things can get if you do not clean your home and consequently, it does make me feel like cleaning around here more frequently.

Some other shows I have been watching lately are My 600 Pound Life, and another one called The 1000 Pound Sisters. I am watching to learn how to help myself, with the same thought process behind it. I don’t want my weight to ever be that high. Watching the show is how I can learn about what not to do. The doctors on these shows have to be tough, and the people who are looking for the surgery have to commit to their health before they will get approved. I see their struggles, and I recognize some of the traits I have in common with the people on the show.

Emotional eating is a problem I admit to having.

Not in the same way the people on the show do, though. I have seen some really bad habits. Eating take out and going to more than one restaurant in a row, just ordering food, eating in the car, and going to the next drive-thru is something I have never done. Not for full meals. If I want things from different places to make up a meal, maybe, but this is a rarity for me.

One thing which really stood out to me is that more than one person relates their food to be their only friend. Not only does it make me sad to think that there are people out there who genuinely feel this way,l but it is something I have never had to deal with. I eat my feelings, but I do not rely on food to comfort me the way a friend would. It is not the same for me.

The good news is that some of those people succeed. It gives me hope that when I get serious with myself, I can make the changes needed to be healthier.

#TrustYourGut

Makeup Monday | Know Where To Draw The Line

Makeup Monday | Know Where To Draw The Line

I have been working on my makeup business lately. It is a lot of fun! Learning how to use the makeup I have to create new looks is something I really enjoy. People are being very kind as I share my selfies online. Consequently, I like to think I am getting better all of the time, and practicing is how I learn.

I also started watching Youtube tutorials. Some just for fun and others to learn. Still, others go into my saved list so I can try to recreate the look in them. One of my friends asked for help with her eye makeup, and I found some videos for her, too. It will be great to see if they help her to get the look she wants.

One of my looks featured red lipstick.

I am not going to lie, I had it in my previous stash. When I started in this business, I had makeup from other sources. The Scottish half of me won’t let me just toss them out…while the French half of me will be okay with that as soon as each item is replaced with products from the company I am working with.

The reason I mention the red lipstick is that I recently posted a graphic on my social media with my red lips. Someone commented that it was a nice colour for me, but they are not brave enough to wear a red shade on their lips. Hence, I am writing this post.

This is the graphic I am referring to. Red lips are ICONIC in the Entertainment Industry.

This is not the only shade of red lipstick that I own.

It is the one which looks best on me, of my 2 choices. In the cover photo, I have set out the looks for today. In my shower, I washed my face and gave it an exfoliating mask treatment. I am also working on different methods of washing and conditioning my hair to naturally enhance my curls. I am liking the results so far.

When I was ready to start my makeup for this blog, first, I used the Younique Uplift Serum under my eyes, on the bridge of my nose, on my forehead, and anywhere else I see wrinkles or fine lines. After the serum dries, which does not take very long, I apply moisturizer. Next is the Touch Glorious Face Primer, seen in the cover picture at the top of the blog. My final step to prepare for this look was to draw a line with Moodstruck Precision Pencil Eyeliner in the colour Perfect, from my forehead to under my chin.

Draw The Line
My line drawing skills are a little off centre.

This idea started with me thinking about the two lipsticks, and also about me wanting to show the wrong shade of foundation for me and explain why it is wrong.

I chose the two samples seen above. Touch Mineral Liquid Foundation in Cashmere is not the correct colour for me. To be honest; neither is Lace, but it is the closest one I had available in my samples from the presenter kit. I decided to match the wrong foundation colour with the wrong red lipstick.

Cashmere on my left side.
Cashmere Liquid Foundation Sample on my left side.

I did not blend it at all.

I am just playing around, not creating a look I would ever wear for any other purpose. Blending would have helped it to be more even on my skin, but it would not look natural on me at all. If my skin was tanned, there might be a better chance of me pulling it off, but you can easily see it is not a natural match for my skin tone.

For the right side of my face, I added the Touch Mineral Liquid Foundation sample in Lace. It is a better match than the Cashmere, but not as good as Organza for me. I am out of Organza Samples.

For the purpose of this demo, I am not going all out on my makeup. You can clearly see that the foundation does cover my skin imperfections, to even them out. Next, I put on the two different shades of lipstick. One on the left is more orange-based, and the other, on the right is more blue-based.

So there is no need to get angry when you think about wearing red lipstick.

There is a perfect shade of red for everyone, just like there is a perfect shade of foundation for everyone. It is all about matching your colours, and your skin tone. Due to time limitations, I did not use the Touch Behold Translucent Setting Powder, which is shown in the picture at the top of the products used.

Don’t be angry if you have the wrong shades. Take time to find someone to help you do a proper colour match.

Colour matching is something which I am learning how to do. As I learn more, and as the business grows, I will continue to get better at it. For now, I have a team of friends who are happy to help me out when I have questions. They are all really great people, and they want to help me to succeed. When we work together, we all win! This is a great work ethic, one I can see myself wanting to continue being a part of, and that puts a smile on my face.

Having fun with makeup puts a smile on my face
Having fun with makeup puts a smile on my face

You can follow my adventures with makeup on Facebook at Always Beautiful with Tish MacWebber and if you want to see more behind the scenes you can request to join the Tish MacWebber Always Beautiful Friends Group. It is linked with the business page. Whatever you prefer, I am only a message away. #makeuphappens

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 78 | What Is Your Relationship Status With Food?

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 77 | Stepping It Up!

I have done something new in the past week. It is time for me to be stepping it up when it comes to my health. I was sent information from a friend in an email, about a medical study at the local university. As a person with type 2 diabetes, I was able to apply. I made a call, and I am glad I did.

When I connected with the person working on the study, I was asked some questions on the phone. They needed to know when I was diagnosed, and what medications I was taking. I went through them all and made an appointment for the first session. When I did, the person I was speaking to asked me when I would like to do the second part of the qualifying session. I chose Wednesday and Thursday this past week.

Next, I was given a brief overview of what would happen. The first session was to fill out the paperwork and to get my measurements recorded. They needed my weight, height, waist and hip circumference. Two blood samples were taken, one by a nurse, and the other by the person I would be working with. The nurse used a needle to get a blood sample, similar to when the doctor sends you for bloodwork. They needed to establish some baselines for my sugars and lipids. The second blood test was just a finger prick, similar to what I do to test my blood sugars myself. It is for a 3 month average of my blood sugars, called an A1C test. We went over the numbers, but I do not remember them all. I was assigned a number for the study.

The Bod Pod

I was told on the phone that in the first session, I would need to go into something called the Bod Pod. It was described as an oval machine, shaped like a spaceship. Of course, I asked for the details of what it was used for. It uses changes in air pressure to get an estimate of the fat and muscle percentage in your body. It sounded neat, and then I asked one more question. With the description of the Bod Pod, I asked if they played any Lady Gaga music while the test was running. I made my contact person laugh, and he surprisingly admitted nobody had ever asked him that question before.

Since I am a blogger, and I have this category, I wanted to document the interesting parts here. We will start with some pictures of the Bod Pod.

As you can see, it has a seat inside. I was asked to wear something similar to a bathing suit for the test. My Zumba clothes worked for this purpose. There are magnets to hold the door secure during the test, and there is an emergency release button if for any reason a person would want to stop the test. It has never been used, and I did ask if the person who I was working with for the assessment wanted to test it after my test was done. My offer was declined, as it was uncertain if it would affect the calibration of the expensive machine. I did not test the emergency button.

For a few moments, I could pretend I was Lady Gaga arriving at a music award show.

The person who was assessing me to see if I would qualify for the study did agree to help me with pictures for the blog. They use the equipment for their job, so they are used to it, but for someone like me, it was worth documenting the whole experience.

Since the machine uses air pressure to record the measurements, I was advised of this. I was also warned that just like my ears, the machine may pop while the test was running. Thankfully, although I felt the pressure changes when it was running, it was not a huge difference, and my ears were not affected. For statistical reasons, they run duplicate tests for certain qualifying factors. This test was run twice and will be necessary again once or twice while the medical study is being conducted.

I had to wear a swim cap also, to help with the test. It was okay for me to wear my stockings in the Bod Pod. At the same time the blood tests were run, my feet were also checked. One side effect of diabetes is neuropathy, which affects the nerves, especially in feet. I have had this test before, and I usually feel the apparatus on my feet when it is lightly pressed on the sole of my feet. After completing these tests, I was able to go home, with a pedometer to wear for 7 days, to get a baseline average of my current activity level.

The fitness test.

Day two had a new test to run. First, I was given an explanation of what to expect. I would be fitted with a heart monitor to start with. I do not have a picture of this because it was put right under my sports bra (which I am SO glad I wore that day!)

Next, I was set up for the apparatus to measure my oxygen levels. If you thought the Bod Pod was glamorous, you haven’t seen the best parts yet. I had to wear this frame over my head, which would be attached to a tube that was placed in my mouth. The air goes in on one side, and out the other, to be measured in another machine. I was advised to drink a bit of water before it was in my mouth because my mouth would get dry during this test. The paper towel was there for me to use for saliva. There was a part of the tube made to catch any drool dripping around the mouthpiece. So attractive, I know.

There were goals to beat in the fitness test to qualify for the study. A speed was selected, and the incline was increased at several intervals. I was shown a clipboard with numbers on it. They ranged from 6 to 20, and since I would not be able to talk during the fitness test, I would point at the number which corresponded to the level of exertion I was feeling when asked. I was also advised to give a thumbs up or down as answers to questions and to move my hand back and forth by my neck if I needed to stop for any reason.

To get the most accurate measurement of the air I was breathing, I also had to wear a nose plug. I walked on the treadmill, and if you know me, and you caught the musical reference above, you probably guessed that I had a song in my head while I was walking my way through this test. I will reveal it soon. First, I want to assure you that my breathing was fine once I got settled into the test. I did feel short of breath near the end, but with increasing intensity for the duration, it was to be expected. When my heart rate was checked as okay, and the machine to measure the oxygen I was using as I breathed was full, the test began.

There was a short warm-up period, to adapt to the treadmill and the breathing apparatus. Once I found my groove, the incline was increased. It was increased by one increment until it reached 11.0. At this time I was asked if I wanted to keep pushing or stop, and I chose to stop.

I qualified for the study.

The good news is, although I will need to repeat the measurements and tests, it will not be every time. I will have to wear the heart monitor every time I go, but that is not an issue for me. It is the lease intrusive piece of equipment I have to wear. Except for testing and measurement days, I will be working with a trainer to help me work on my treadmill game. I will want to push myself as I get used to walking regularly again. It is going to be a good change for me, and my hope is that I excel while I am participating in the study. I will not be getting paid for my participation, but if I can lose some weight and increase my activity levels, it will be worth it to me.

The study is testing to see what the impact of regular exercise is on the A1C levels in people diagnosed as pre-diabetic, and people like me, with type 2 diabetes. As the study progresses, I hope to have more to share here. At this time, I am glad I Trusted My Gut and applied for the study. I needed a change, and this could be just what the doctor ordered.

The song I had in my head when I was on the treadmill on day 2 was Good As Hell by Lizzo. As I finished the test on day 2, after I was unhooked from all of the apparatus, I told the people in the room, “I would like to thank Lizzo for getting me through this fitness test.” My statement was met with laughter, as it was intended.

Trust Your Gut

Makeup Monday | Reorganizing My Stash

Makeup Monday | Reorganizing My Stash

Hello, Beautiful Friends! I am catching my breath as I have just completed reorganizing my stash of makeup. What began as a simple project evolved as I gave myself time to think about the possibilities.

In case you don’t remember what my counter looked like the last time I wrote about this… here is a reminder to show you the clutter I was dealing with:

Originally, I was going to clear off a shelf in the storage unit between the vanity and the whirlpool tub, which is also known as my kitten’s racetrack. I had previously started storing crafts on it. There was room to shift things to clear one or two shelves for my makeup.

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to make a bigger change.

Not that long ago, I took the bottom half of a closet storage set and moved it to the bedroom. When I did it, I was sure it would stay, so I screwed it into the wall and put it to use.

Fast forward to January 2020 and the annual cleaning challenge I participate in. I usually choose one project to improve our home. We don’t have a lot of extra funds set aside for home improvement, so one project is all I can really manage to purchase supplies for. With this in mind, I am preparing to makeover my mini laundry closet. Therefore, if I am going to make any other changes in y home, I need to work with what I already have here.

As the project grew from a simple reorganization of makeup to a shelf system swap, I started by taking more pictures, before I started.

Before: In the master Bedroom
Before: In the master Bedroom
Before: In the Master Bathroom
Before: In the Master Bathroom

In the top picture, above, you can see the two white cube storage pieces I had repurposed from my master closet. In the second picture, you can see the cluttered counter, and the shelving unit I wrote about above.

I went to work.

After getting a screwdriver and a duster, I cleared off the black shelving unit enough to slide it out of the place it was in. Then I unscrewed the white cube storage pieces from the wall in the bedroom, one at a time, and moved them to where the black stand was.

Finally, I had them switched, and I began placing items where I wanted them. This process may not be entirely complete at the moment, but for now, the main parts are done!

Craft storage moved into the bedroom.
Craft storage moved into the bedroom.
More room by the jacuzzi tub
More room by the jacuzzi tub
From craft storage to makeup storage
From craft storage to makeup storage
The new look in the Master Bathroom
The new look in the Master Bathroom

I have not gone through all of my craft supplies at this point. It was more important to get the bed cleared off to sleep tonight. It is ready for the clean and dry comforter. I changed the sheets before I got going. I am sure I will sleep well tonight.

Here is one final look at the project.

Being able to access all of my makeup is important. I am learning new tips and tricks, and I need to be able to access it easily to enable me to continue. I am glad I decided to take on this project. Here are some final looks.

3 shelves hold my makeup and supplies now.
3 shelves hold my makeup and supplies now.
Makeup is easy to find, and neatly organized
Makeup is easy to find, and neatly organized
Now there is more room on the counter.
Now there is more room on the counter.
Clutter free!
Clutter-free!

When I get to the week for organizing craft supplies, I already have a great start on it. When I get to the week for the Master Suite, I can focus on cleaning and not have to work at reorganizing. I am also closer to tackling the laundry closet with these steps done because I needed to empty the clothes basket at the foot of the bed and change the bedding. This is now done, so I can keep working towards the next project.

I feel like I have accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. I also know that when I want to wear my makeup, it will be so much easier to take out what I need now that the counter is clutter-free! How do you store and organize your makeup? Do you take on a project every year to improve your home? Let me know in the comments what you think about this new setup!

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 78 | What Is Your Relationship Status With Food?

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 76 |Accountability Matters

Happy New Year! Here we are in a new year, and in a new decade. I did not magically wake up skinny. 2019 had a rough couple of days during the holidays, and things got a little out of control. When things got bad, I was able to turn it around, and now they are better.

I’m seeing signs of going through the change. I’ve been having hot flashes at night. I am not sure if they are related to the next phase of my life or my sugars or a combination of the two. After a few restless nights, I got up and checked my sugars. They were very high. When someone with diabetes is sick, this is normal, however I don’t always do the right things for my health.

Sometimes I forget to take my medications.

Creating a health tracker helps me to remember, but I have not been using it. With a brand new agenda, I am ready to start fresh in 2020. I have worked really hard to create my health tracker, but I slacked off. I haven’t followed through with using it. So, I am getting it ready this weekend, and I will be using it starting today.

I haven’t been feeling well. I have had a stomach bug and more than one migraine in the last month. When I am sick, I am more likely to skip my medicine. When you have diabetes and you are under the weather, you need to keep taking your medicine. Just like you need to keep eating and stay hydrated. I know this, but I don’t always make the best choices. Especially when I am feeling ill.

Changes were made this week.

I started checking my sugars more frequently and I’m taking my medicine. I bought new vitamins, and have taken them for the last 3 days. The holiday treats are disappearing, and things are going to be getting back to normal. As I think about this, back to normal is not going to be enough for me. I need to do more, and I need to do better.

I bought a sports bra style workout top in November. The goal was to wear it at home, when I am alone, to do Zumba in my living room. So far, it is still in the bag, with the price tag still attached to it. I am going to cut that tag off on Monday and put it on with my shorts and Zumba sneakers. Then I will complete my look with my Zumba headband and dance by myself in my living room. I want to schedule it into my 2020 planner, 3 days a week. My only resolution for 2020 is to dance more. Now that I have put this into writing, I will have to follow through.

Accountability Matters

Accountability is something which I have learned is important when you are setting goals, but also for building online businesses. I need to get things accomplished to move on to the next tasks. The only person I am accountable to is myself until I have paying clients. Once this happens, I will be accountable to them also.

It is also a term that is immensely important to me and my health. It is so important, I decided to turn my weight loss support group from a beta to a membership group. This was a difficult decision because the current members are in it for free. Their participation means they are getting value out of the year and a half we have spent together.

It makes me sad that some have already left the group, and I understand why they are choosing to leave. I have also learned a term since joining the makeup industry.

Bless and release.

This is such a simple concept, and easy to apply. If someone does not want to buy makeup, let them go, and move on to the next person. It takes a rejection from being personal to being a manageable response.

The other thing I am learning to accept is that having people leave means they are creating space for the people who do need to be in the group. This is a new concept to me, and I am discovering how to include it in my thought process.

It is harder for me to let go of people in the beta group because we have built a connection. Therefore, we have a history. I have been preparing for new members by organizing the posts into topics. This allows for easier management and navigation within the group. I am refreshing the experiences of myself with the beta group as a whole during this process. It will help me to focus on what is working, what is not working, and what to change.

Each new member will be given a free, personalized health record (tracker). It will be designed on two pages, to fit in seven days. I’m planning to meet with each member online before the end of January to determine what they need help with, and what they need on their tracker. I create my own in my agenda, and it covers everything I need for now. I asked the beta group what they would need, and I have ideas on how I can modify what I created for myself to be useful for other members.

It is a customizable concept.

It has been useful at my doctor’s appointments. I have also had it in appointments with a dietician and at the diabetes clinic. I am not giving it the attention it needs, or rather, I am not giving my health the attention it needs when I am not using it. This will change today!

I opened the Membership group to new members for the new year. I am working hard to make sure that people get value out of the group for their membership fees. So far, it has involved a lot of housekeeping in the group. When it is organized, I will be able to create new content and schedule the accountability posts again. I find this so helpful, to just set aside a block of time to schedule posts for a month or two. It frees my time up to interact with the group and makes it more fun for me to be in there with the other members.

I’m not a medical professional.

This group is a support group, not for a plan or program, but for the members. I will not tell them what plan to follow, or what to eat or what not to eat. I am not the boss of the members. We are all adults and in charge of our own lives. Instead, I work on helping them to be accountable for activity, for drinking water; while sharing tips and recipes. It is general knowledge that staying active and hydrated promotes a healthier lifestyle. With the scheduled posts, it is something that the members will see every day, and it will remind them to work on these things.

All members are required to sign a confidentiality agreement, and the standard Facebook group rules will apply. Anything which goes against these guidelines will not be tolerated, and I am very upfront about this.

Payment Options

I have decided on 2 payment options. Members can choose a monthly payment of $54.00 CAD. It breaks down to each member paying for four hours of my time, at minimum wage, for me to run the group for the whole month. As the group grows, people may wish to pay a lump sum for the year. $550.00 CAD is the annual membership fee, and if a member chooses to pay annually, they will save $98.00 CAD on their fees.

I am working from home, and I need an income. It is not a decision I made lightly. It wasn’t easy to tell the beta group members that things were changing. I need to get the word out, and cannot afford to pay for advertising.

Sharing this blog post and sharing the posts from my personal Facebook account will help me to do this. It is going to be better than you can imagine, because I am right there, in the trenches with the members. Not telling you what to do, but reminding you that we are in this together, and we can help each other because of it. One of my goals for 2020 is to help people who can help me in return. I do have to stop doing everything for free, though. My heart wants to help people. I am asking you to help me by either joining the membership group, if you need the support or to help me get the message out to people who do need it.

This is my Facebook Profile for you to find the posts to share:


Tish Webber

If you are not already a friend, you will see that my wall is a fun place to hang out. I am not only focused on business building. Sharing fun things I find, creating my own content, keeping it a positive enjoyable place to hang out online. Most of the time it is light-hearted. Once in awhile a dose of reality sneaks in, when I have something important to share. I have room for lots of friends in my life, and I have made some really great ones online.

Thank you for reading, and I look forward to sharing my future successes with you all, dear readers.

Makeup Monday | #makeuphappens

Makeup Monday | #makeuphappens

Last time, I started to introduce you all to more makeup adventures with Tish. For me, makeup is a thing. I was buying it anyway, and I am working hard to build a business based on something I am already involved with. I am not limiting my options to where my next source of income comes from.

You see, I am currently looking for work. I am trying to only choose jobs to apply for which I can see myself doing, and in the meantime I am putting in some time with this makeup business side hustle. I want it to work, but I do have other things on the go.

Currently, I want to share some more information with you regarding the hashtag in the title. It is one I thought up for this makeup business, and I hope it does well. I am working on graphics to start sharing on my social media platforms, and getting help from people inside my Tish MacWebber Always Beautiful Facebook Group before I launch them into the internet at large. You get in by my invitation, only. I am not limiting the number of members. If you want to join, there is no purchase required.

To join this group I have created, to watch the many adventures of Tish with makeup, you may send a message to request an invite through my Always Beautiful with Tish MacWebber Facebook business page. It is set up to encourage more people to join my group. I want to see it thrive and grow, just like I want to see the makeup business do the same.

I am neither shallow, nor conceited nor vain.

I do not obsess about how I look every day. When I wear my new makeup, I feel more confident and professional. I like how I feel when I wear it, and I am trying to wear it more frequently to promote the business. As you saw last time, I am not shy of being a little silly or sharing selfies of myself with no makeup on. This is being done on purpose, because we are truly Always Beautiful and I want to help people learn this first.

It all started about two years ago, when a friend had an online Facebook party for makeup. I was offered the opportunity at that time. I took two years, and I thought about it. When I was ready, I reached out to the person who initially made the offer to me.

It goes deeper for me, though. I am working on myself, and this means I am also learning to be kind to myself. I am beautiful with or without makeup, just like a homemade cake is wonderful with or without icing. We all have our preferences and I love the extras. I know this analogy is not diabetic friendly, but just go with it, okay?

You can have cake. You can have cake with icing. You can have birthday cake. You can have cake with ice cream. You can have cake with whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry on top if you want to. It all starts with cake, and don’t get me started on all of the flavours cake comes in. My point is, that we are all beautiful, and we can enhance our beauty, just like we can enhance a wonderful cake however we want to.

Back to the hashtag.

#makeuphappens is the hashtag for my business adventure. I was in my washroom, just looking at the makeup I have in my possession. It adds up, quickly, when you start trying new brands and colours. I can say I do have a decent collection of brushes and makeup. I have tried to organize it on my bathroom counter in my master suite. My makeup has outgrown this space, and I need to reorganize my storage options to make it more accessible and easy to use.

Here are a few before pics of the current makeup organization situation :

I have a plan. In the next Makeup Monday, I will share pics of how I reorganized my makeup to free up some room on my counter, and make it easier to get to all of my makeup.

Makeup Monday | Tish MacWebber Always Beautiful

Makeup Monday | Tish MacWebber Always Beautiful

Hello Makeup Monday fans! It has been a really long time since my last makeup post, and I hope you won’t hold it against me. I did a thing. I joined a direct marketing makeup company, and I am having more fun than ever with my new makeup.

Wait a second, don’t bail! I am still going to be reviewing my new products, and sharing my new looks with you. It’s what you keep coming back for, I hope. I will be inviting you to join me in my Facebook group if you want to cheer me on regularly, and writing here on occasion. This is not, at this point, an affilliate marketing strategy. You can still read, check out my pics, learn about the products I use, and it is totally up to you if that is all you want to do. If you love makeup like me, and want more, the invitation will be at the end. No purchase required, but of course greatly appreciated if you decide to get something for yourself from Tish MacWebber, Always Beautiful.

First of all, that group name took a few days to think up. I have my logo for Always Thinking and Always Blinging, and I needed to come up with the right name to go with the logo. That in and of itself took me about a week, which in my world is too long to take to think something up.

Next I created a hashtag.

With social media marketing, I needed to come up with something catchy, clever, and with meaning behind it. After a quick Google search, I realized I had found one I could claim.

You see, I have always loved makeup, but never wore it frequently. I am wearing makeup a little more often now, and for me, it kind of just happened. I did a purge and wrote about it on my first Makeup Monday story. This is number seven. I have added and removed products to and from my stash. I purchased clear storage containers to organize my cosmetics, and I have found that while it was sufficient last year, or even two years ago, whenever I started the makeup habit again, it’s now taking over the counter in y bathroom. So, I created the hashtag #makeuphappens for this new adventure I am on.

During the month of December, I plan to work on the reorganization and storage of my makeup. I have a plan, and I have taken the before pics. When I finish, I will share the whole process here. Makeup Monday fans, this means at least one more Makeup Monday blog post in 2019. 🙂

My New Looks

Now we get to the good part. My new looks. I have been promoting both a blank canvas and a fully made up face as being Always Beautiful. I believe that makeup enhances one’s own natural beauty. Hence the Always Beautiful name for this business. So I have new pics. I am learning how to take better selfies, with the camera I have. I am not sure if it should be upside down like they recommend for selfies on a cell phone, but I am playing.

Here are a few pics I have taken with no makeup and no filters:

When I first got my kit, I was encouraged to try wearing only mascara on only one eye, to show the difference. I can see the difference, can you?

If you know me, you know I like to play, and have fun with makeup and looks. Here are two looks which I will guess you were not expecting to see.

Finally, here is what my new current makeup looks like. I have worn as many products as I can from the kit I got when I signed up. What do you think?

Tish with a full face of makeup
Tish with a full face of makeup

I would love to share my makeup adventures with as many people as possible. I do have a business page, on Facebook, where you can send me a message if you would like to be invited into my Tish MacWebber Always Beautiful group. I do hope to see you there!

I have learned a little bit since I started this new chapter of Makeup Monday. One thing I learned while writing this post is that to get the least reflection on my glasses for my selfies, I will need to lay down on a chair to take them. I will need to practice this, to make it look right, but this afternoon I had a lot of glare on my glasses, and now I have something to try the next time I play with makeup. Until then…check out my business page, and if you want to, come on over to the group. There is a lot going on there, and I am planning so much more!

#MakeupMonday #makeuphappens

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 78 | What Is Your Relationship Status With Food?

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 75 | Keeping My Eyes On The Prize

Distractions are all around us. No matter where you look, they are out there. Waiting for you. When I was talking to a friend earlier today about an unrelated topic, she pointed out the obvious. I need to focus, and to help me to do this, I need to be keeping my eyes on the prize.

In the business world, I am seen as a bit confusing, as I have been told I am too diversified. When we talked about this, I explained that I thought it was what I was supposed to be doing, because the moment I declared that my jewellery business, Tish MacWebber Always Blinging would now be officially a hobby for me, someone wanted to buy Book Bling. I took it as a sign, telling me that I was right all along. I thought it meant to keep pushing forward, full speed ahead in all areas.

My friend wisely pointed out I misinterpreted the sign. It wasn’t telling me to keep doing all of the things, but rather, testing my declaration.

WHOA!

Hang on there.

Maybe I was wrong.

In that moment, I realized she was right. The sign wasn’t a sign at all. It was a distraction.

How many times have you misinterpreted a sign?

I can assure you, it is very easy to do. One minute you are feeling great about the choices you have made for the food you have eaten so far that day and the next minute you are looking at the tub of ice cream in your freezer. You didn’t open the freezer to get ice cream, but now that it is staring you in the face, it is the only reason you should have opened the freezer.

Or is it?

What you really opened the freezer for was to get the bag of frozen broccoli out to thaw because you want to make a casserole, and one of the ingredients is broccoli.

But the ice cream is just there. Screaming at you. Insisting that it needs you to eat it right now, so that you can get the instant gratification it always gives you. You imagine yourself eating all of the ice cream, and how happy you will be.

Until you realize that you ate it all and feel awful because you were doing so well and the ice cream DISTRACTED you from your goal. Oh, it is sneaky and mean and it wants you to eat it all every time you open the freezer.

So do you lock the freezer and never open it again?

You could. It is not the practical choice, and truthfully it is not very realistic.

Should you declare to never ever buy ice cream again?

Maybe. But we all know the second you do, your favourite flavour is going to be on an incredible sale the very next time you walk into the grocery store.

What is the right answer?

Focus.

When I open the freezer, I need to focus on the broccoli. The ice cream is only going to be a temporary distraction. Ice cream has its time and place, as a treat, not as an everyday splash into guilty pleasures. As much as I love a bowl of ice cream, I need to remember that I am on a new path where I am being kind to myself.

I need to love myself more than I love ice cream

That right there is a bold statement. The love I have for ice cream is right up there with lobster and pizza. It includes chocolate. To be perfectly honest, there aren’t many foods which I don’t love. The struggle is most certainly real, and when you put broccoli up against ice cream, the broccoli doesn’t stand a chance if I am not committed to my goals.

Broccoli has one thing going for it in this equation. Me. If I choose to get the broccoli and continue making the casserole, I will be preparing a meal which can be the reason I open the freezer for. Healthy food is how I show myself kindness. I need to focus on the short term goals to be able to claim the prize I am aiming for.

I know I will falter from time to time. Being human means I am not perfect, and I will make mistakes. I will be tested and distracted. The point is to not stay there. If you picked up the tub of ice cream because it was on sale, it is going to be there until you eat it. Unless you need to eat your feelings, which is never the positive choice to make but might happen if you get dumped or fired, it is not going to go bad before you eat it. It can stay right where it is because it will be there when you do decide that you want a bowl of ice cream as a treat.

Indulgences are a privilege of being an adult

You are your own boss of your life. So get the broccoli out of the freezer, close the door and act like it. Set your goals, keep your eyes on the prize and focus.

As I am writing, I am also recognizing that I have steadily lost a pound or two in the last few weeks. I weighed in at 313.6 pounds yesterday. I am getting closer to taking the new picture for this blog, the one where I show myself and the world I can and will reach my goals, one pound at a time.

You can do this with me. I believe in us.

#TrustYourGut

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 78 | What Is Your Relationship Status With Food?

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 74 | I Had A Dream

I have had a few things on the go in the last few weeks, and I wasn’t sure how to tackle this story until the night before last. What I have been working on includes one part of the journey is from my childhood.

I call it the salt cod incident.

If you have never eaten salt cod, I consider you among a lucky group of people. In my opinion, salt cod is gross, and it was in our meal rotation when I was a child.

I have shared that I would strive to be the first one to clean my plate at the supper table to get the desired dessert. It became my thing. To me, it was a daily reward for something I could do well. When I would ask what was for dessert and I was told to have fruit, I felt disappointment. I would still eat it, but it didn’t qualify as dessert to me, when I was a kid.

One night, I was about four, we had company for supper. And salt cod was the protein on my plate. There was not enough green tomato chow in the world to cover the taste of the salt cod.

I made a plan.

My four year old self wanted to get dessert. She also did not want to eat the salt cod. She decided that she would stuff as much of the salt cod as she could into her cheeks, go to the bathroom and spit the fish into the toilet. Really creative for a four year old, when I think back to it.

My parents were not fooled by the chipmunk cheeks. I was not allowed to go to the bathroom. Instead, I was taken to a bedroom and yelled at to swallow my supper. I defiantly yelled, “No!” for as long as I could stand to. I was having a battle of wills with my father. He was rightly concerned that I would choke on the fish if I kept stuffing it into my cheeks without swallowing it. We also did not waste food in my home.

Eventually, a tearful four year old returned to the kitchen table to finish her supper.

Why am I sharing this story?

In the VIBE Method of Emotional Weight Release with Coach Elaine, we work on the emotional side of our journey. After having a breakthrough in August, and continuing to work while learning the VIBE Method, things are looking better than they have in a really long time.

A few weeks ago, it looked like I had lost a significant amount of weight. As a result, I am not focusing on the fluctuations right now. Instead, I am focusing on being kind to myself, and making smarter choices. I no longer eat quickly. Dessert isn’t an option every evening. I am not letting food determine how I plan my day. (This is HUGE for me).

After I expressed the feelings of turmoil, I participated in a private coaching session. When the weight climbed up higher on the scale, I wasn’t sure I handled week three the way I was supposed to. I knew I would need help to find out why I felt like things were in turmoil. I used this word to describe how I was feeling in week four. It was our last week, and I didn’t understand why I felt that way.

We started what was supposed to be a 45 minute session with my uncertainty. I shared this with Coach Elaine, and she wanted to run through all four weeks in a recap with me. Not in the detail of each week as we worked in the group, but to review what I had worked on to find out where the bump in the road was.

Putting it all together

After our two hour long additional coaching session, I am really glad we scheduled an extra session. It was the right thing for me to do, to ask for help.

Upon further reflection and discovery, we worked through one of the processes again. I realized that when I was four, the battle of the wills was when I started feeling like I wasn’t being HEARD. I was screaming, but what I had to say didn’t matter, because in this instance, I was wrong. When I have something to say, I give up when someone is not listening to me. This is something I am working on.

I wouldn’t say I have ever lost my voice, however I have had to learn how to speak louder so that I can be heard, and more importantly, taken seriously. For this to be effective, I have to believe in myself.

During our coaching session, the words VALUE and WORTHY became a part of the conversation. I needed to explore why the salt cod incident was so prominent in my mind. We were working with the first memory we had when our feelings weren’t validated.

The screaming match is what I remembered. Not that it was abusive, not that it was meant to hurt me, but because what I was expressing was not being treated as a valid reason for what I was trying to do.

Where does the dream come into the picture?

The night before last, I had a dream. It was what I was waiting for to help me to write this entry. I was dreaming that I managed to spend time with a movie star. I won’t put a name to him, I will leave it to your imagination. He was telling me that he wished I wasn’t married.

Even in my dreams, I remain loyal to my husband. I have had other dreams, and I always put a stop to things before they get carried away, even in my subconscious mind. I love my husband so much, I couldn’t ever dream of cheating on him. Not even with a movie star.

This movie star was put into the friend zone, in my dream. The next part of my dream had me telling Roy that I was elated because this movie star found me desirable. Worthy of wanting a relationship with. We were talking about my feelings, and the word JOY came to my mind. I was feeling absolute joy that someone other than my husband found value in having a conversation with me. The next words I received were: Isn’t it obvious? Everything was clicking into place. The work I have been doing in my conscious mind has crossed into my subconscious and into my dreams.

Before I woke up, Roy and I were trying to find this movie star at the end of my dream. Roy was helping me because I really wanted to express my gratitude to him for the messages I was receiving. I woke up before I was able to complete this, but it wasn’t a necessary step for my own progress. I got the message.

What I have to say does have value. I am worthy of love, just as I am.

I may not have all the answers, but I am open to the messages I need to receive to be able to grow as a person and make the changes I need to reflect on the outside the work I am doing on the inside.

#TrustYourGut

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 78 | What Is Your Relationship Status With Food?

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 73 | Looking Myself In The Eyes

I need to clarify that my recent success is not as good as it appeared to be last week. I knew something was off on the scale, and I tried to believe it was true. It happened at least once before. My scale had a false reading. One I happened to take a picture of, coincidentally, but I have not lost as much weight as I thought I did. Which is both more realistic in terms of healthy weight loss, and beyond frustrating, simultaneously. The last time I checked I weighed in at 313.1 pounds. Still better than July, but not as good as it looked last Friday.

In the second week of working with Coach Elaine, I have not been as diligent. I did what I always do when I have success. I listened to the inner gremlin, which I previously wrote about in Part 56 of the Trust Your Gut category. It convinced me that I didn’t have to be so strict with what I was eating. Old habits creep in when I am doing well, which is why I have such a hard time finding success.

Self-Sabotaging Only Hurts Me

To understand why this happens, I fear I might have to go really deep inside. This inner reflection will take time, more time than I have if I want to publish on time this week. I have begun the process, and I have seen the results. They are positive. So why do I slip up every time I get something good going for myself? This is something I feel a lot of people like me struggle with.

It’s like when you need to take medication all of the time, and when you do, you feel better, so you stop taking the medication. First, it is never advisable to stop taking medicine without medical supervision. Second, for most situations, this does not allow you to continue to feel better because the medicine is the reason you were feeling better in the first place. The medicine as a general rule does not make anyone sick, it makes you better. I do understand this is a general rule and does not apply to every circumstance. Consequently, when you stop doing things that make you feel better, you relapse or feel worse than you did before you started.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. ALWAYS check with your doctor before making any changes regarding your health. I also realize that side effects can sometimes seem worse than the disease. I am not advising anyone to make any decisions about their own health without discussing all of the options with their doctor, or without being your own advocate for your own health without including medical professionals in that discussion.

When I take this concept, which usually refers to the treatment of mental health, or taking antibiotics for less than the prescribed number of days, and compare it to people like me who are morbidly obese, there are similarities. I slipped and got back into old habits last week. More fast food came in. It is like I am testing my body to find out how much it can take before I start putting on weight again, to fail at this healthy lifestyle.

When I slip up, the inner gremlin laughs delightedly.

Maybe that is why I hear ringing in my ears constantly. I am kidding; although I do have tinnitus, and it is another irritation I am contending with. Will I turn down my music when I bounce the house? Not a chance. I love music, and the louder it is, the more I love it. Maybe it is so I can’t actually hear myself singing along. Whatever the reason, I will always crank the tunes when I am listening to them. My hearing is not suffering that I can tell, so I will keep on the way I always have.

What I do mean is that when I slip up and make poor choices, misery loves company, as the saying goes. One poor choice is not so bad, and then I make another one. Before I know it, I have picked the easy way more than the healthy way, and the inner gremlin is cheering me on! When it is in charge, I don’t make the right choices. When I don’t make the right choices, I am not being kind to myself. Which I learned last week, is something I need to learn how to do better. When you don’t know why you make poor choices, it is harder to convince yourself to make better ones.

And when you do choose to be kind to yourself, and you are kind to yourself, the inner gremlin is threatened. It starts acting up and throwing temper tantrums like wild cravings into your mind, and the next thing you know, you give in and go to the nearest drive-thru. Because it is easier to feed the cravings and the inner gremlin than it is to be kind to yourself and make the right choices.

How does this all fit in with what I am doing?

In Trust Your Gut Part 56, the one linked above, I wrote about looking at myself in the mirror. As my week 2 takeaway from the VIBE method created by Coach Elaine, I decided that I was going to practice looking at myself with love when I look into my own eyes in the mirror. I want to see me, not a morbidly obese person with type 2 diabetes, just me, a person who is worthy of love.

In the session, I talked about how I feel when my husband looks into my eyes. He has always looked at me as a person, and it was one of the first things I found attracting me to him early in our relationship. It stayed with me from then and still does, as something we have always been able to do, to be connected to each other by looking into each other’s eyes.

It has been such a profound feeling for me while being in a relationship with him, that I wrote about it in the song I wrote for our wedding. (Don’t worry, I didn’t sing it for him). When I think about how our relationship started, and how we have managed to be together for 25 years, 9 of them married, I know the love I see in his eyes when he looks at me funny holds the answer.

As long as I keep trying to do better, I am winning. Maybe not on the scale every single week, but certainly in my heart, where it counts the most.

This week I will do better.

Yes, it is Thanksgiving on Monday here, in Canada, so I am not going to have a perfect week. I will indulge, eat too much, and try not to regret too many food choices. The food will be homemade, not fast food, shared with family in combination with spending time together. I may not have pie with every meal, but I may have some in moderation. Followed by a short walk if the weather cooperates.

I challenge you to look into your own eyes with kindness and love, to start healing yourself in your heart and soul. Seriously, take a look in the mirror without judgement, criticism or hate. Leave the inner gremlin under your foot on the floor, where it belongs. It doesn’t love you. You do, and you need to let yourself know that you are beautiful from the inside out. When you do this often enough, it will not only become a good habit, but you will start to see changes. A phrase came to me in my sleep a few weeks ago, and I didn’t know what it meant. I think it belongs here.

Be Your Own Inside Out

Find the love in your heart and treasure it until it grows so big you can’t keep it inside anymore. Let it radiate and glow, to be seen by and shared with everyone you meet. I am seeing this in different areas of my own life, and because I know it to be true, I know it is something we all can do. I believe in you. Start with yourself.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

#TrustYourGut