About a month ago, this website was relaunched for the third time. Why is it such a big deal for me? This can be a daunting task when you are new to building websites and maintaining them. Therefore, I am still learning, and working on this new website design when I get time. It is going to need more work in terms of housekeeping and keeping things fresh. If something is left alone long enough to go stale, it gets thrown out. I hope to keep injecting enough excitement here to create a buzz, and to excite you enough to keep coming back. If you do enjoy the blog or other parts of the website, don’t be shy! Tell people about it. Share it for your friends to see. If you like it, maybe they will like it too!
There is a new chapter coming with #Tishspiration. All the cool kids are sending out newsletters, and as an author, I have been struggling with what to use for content in a newsletter. Sure, you can expect to see recent blog posts, some cool graphics, and a surprise. The surprise might be something I write, or a picture you haven’t seen anywhere else. When I am feeling braver, more downloadable content might be what the surprise will be. I do plan to write a continuation of the first place winning short story from November. The link is in the previous blog post in this category and will be in the first newsletter.
Since I am going to be working hard on this, I am going to make as much as possible exclusive to the newsletter. So if you liked the first place winning story, and you want to read more, I will be happy to work on the continuation of it.
If you want to sign up for the newsletter, scroll to the bottom of the page.
Really easy to do. I will be publishing it once a month, and it will arrive in your inbox. There are so many newsletters and blogs in my own inbox, I know I have to work hard to make sure you want to open mine. I will do my best, and it will be only once a month. Once a month was picked for the newsletter because I don’t want to overwhelm myself, or your email inboxes.
Today, I am cleaning my desk.
Although I know the value of being organized, it is exhausting. It takes so much time! I think that is why I fall behind. I am, as I wrote more than once, an all or nothing person. Once I slack off, I start to lose all willpower when it comes to things like being organized. I am again working on it and trying to overcome the clutter. It is a lengthy process when you are so far behind it is overwhelming. This is why I have to really want to make the effort before starting.
This is not a Weekend Warrior post. Why am I writing about cleaning and organizing? If you are a regular reader of my blog, first of all, thank you. Secondly, I do have a point. I have been wanting to really dig in and write my second book. It has been on my mind, frequently. I need to get it written if I am going to keep my deadline.
Guess what I found today? The whole reason I wanted to work on my desk organization was to find my one page, rough draft for my second book. There will be more to add to it in the second draft. There are things I need to write about which had not been on my mind when I made the one page, rough draft. This is good because I want to have a book that has a bit of depth to it. In addition, it will add more substance to my story. See, there was a point there, it was related to my #Tishspiration book.
I have been working on myself, lately.
I am working on a better sleep schedule. This helps me to have more productive days. More productive days mean I do have some time to relax in the evenings, which has been a nice bonus. Appointments are being made and they are for my health, and to help with a job search. I want to be my own boss all of the time, however, I understand that I need to earn an income. Meanwhile, I have faith that things will work out, no matter how scary they might be at times.
Since I am working on myself, I enrolled in a Lisa Nichols course. It was free, for 5 days. She had different options for paid coaching at the end. I am interested, but not at this time, because I have a more important task right now. Freelance writing is something I need to spend a lot more time figuring out. It mightwill be my answer to replacing a traditional full time job.
On the other hand, I have to look for work in traditional jobs too, because I need to explore all of my options. Today, I printed out some jobs to prepare for an appointment with the same office where I got help with my resume last year. At the time I saw them, I was working, and looking for a way to find a different job. I don’t want a traditional job, but I can’t afford to not look at all of the possibilities.
Most importantly…
Between freelance writing, job searching and working on myself, I will also be writing my second book. #Tishspiration: The Art of Surprising Yourself has so much potential. It is going to be an important book for me to write, because of the concept it will explore. I found the rough draft, that excuse is no longer a valid reason to put it off any longer. I am happy that I was able to find it in a day, I knew it was here, somewhere. As a result of finding my rough draft, I can continue writing #Tishspiration: The Art of Surprising Yourself. In my heart, I know someone is waiting for this book. Therefore, it is time to get serious about writing it.
What makes you open a newsletter when it arrives in your inbox? I want to make sure it is something you look forward to reading every month! Your comments will help me identify what to include and consequently what to avoid. Please let me know.
Happy Valentine’s Day! It seemed rather appropriate to write about the heart today. Heart health is important and should not be ignored. This post is not going to be one which is full of facts, spouting all the do and don’t guidelines for the organ’s health. Consequently, you are wondering, what am I going to write about?
The heart for me is a complicated topic. As a creative, I am very in tune with my emotions, which also relate to my heart. Every single beat of my heart wants to spread love and positivity far and wide. I have a strong heart, I am lucky. It can take a lot of use in its various functions, traditional and non-traditional. Let’s explore what I am writing about.
Traditional Use
The heart pumps blood to every cell in your body and back in an impressively short amount of time. Constantly. When your heart is physically healthy, it is powerful. I like to think of mine as strong. I have had concerns, especially since I am morbidly obese. As a result of my concerns, I do have it checked when something feels wrong. I have been assured that my heart is not the source of any medical concern when I do get it checked. This tells me it is strong, physically.
Regular exercise is something I have been slack – a- lacking on in the last few months. Several, if I am being totally honest with you. I used to go to Zumba on a regular schedule, twice a week. The location has moved, and with my previous work schedules, it wasn’t always possible to make it in time for the class. The summer was very hot and humid, the price of gas was another reason, and I just stopped going. Once in a blue moon, I would have all the stars align to allow me to go, but it was painfully clear that I am now really out of shape again. I may be in the worst shape of my life as I write this.
It’s not like I don’t know what I have to do. I have to actually do it.
I have to stop making excuses, and just exercise. Last week a good friend encouraged me to walk 20 minutes a day. I countered with a plan to dance in my living room instead. Then I didn’t take action. That is on me. I let one excuse become two and then I had seven days of excuses, with maybe five minutes of dancing in the bathroom the other day. I play music when I am in the shower. It helps to keep me on track, and starts my day off a little happier because I add in music. My feet don’t move when I dance in the tub, for safety reasons. Before I get into the shower, however, I may be moved to dance to a whole song.
My husband even gave me a deadline to get the living room cleaned, which I have held in my mind but not really acted on yet. I have started. I have puttered at it. But it is still an excuse. So I need to take action on this also. Any movement at all counts right now. I know it is important. It is time to change the tune inside my head, to maintain the healthy heart I have. It works hard, so I need to honour it by taking better care of it.
Non-Traditional Use
The emotional side of me is all heart. I want to help people, I want people around me to be happy. When I am working on this and focusing on the needs of others, rather than on my own, it can be exhausting. This is the type of person I am, and I am learning that I need to also be a protector of my own heart, so it stays strong, emotionally. It might sound odd from a scientific point of view, but it is my truth. My heart is connected to me, and to everything around me.
I have been known to go above and beyond what is required on a project. I am an overachiever. It is in my nature to put the needs of others ahead of my own. This is a common issue for me and for many other people. We want to make sure everyone else is taken care of before taking care of ourselves. This can cause me to lose sleep, and become difficult to be around if you are not the person I am working on the project for. When this happens, I should stop and take a break. If there is a deadline, even a self – imposed one, I am not always able to stop.
I need to be more aware of this so I am giving my best all of the time, instead of focusing it on one project and letting the other areas of my life fall aside; as if they are not important. As if I am not important.
My creative interpretation of a photo challenge prompt. Something she wore.
She wears her heart on her sleeve
One thing about being in touch with your emotions and embracing them means that if you are a heart-centered person like myself, we wear our hearts on our sleeves. I took red lipstick and black eyeliner to drew the heart on my arm to give a visual representation to what I know is my truth. I successfully completed the challenge, and have some remarkable photos I am very proud of taking as a result of participating.
This leads me to my final thoughts, back to emotions. I have been working on myself, and I am starting to see some positive results from the changes I am making. From the very heart of my being, I know I need to do more. It isn’t easy. If it was, we would all be healthy, active, emotionally balanced people. I embrace all of my emotions, and I need the full spectrum of what that means. I wouldn’t want to be any other way.
People look at me and assume that because I am morbidly obese, I am eating all the time, and lazy. I will admit to the laziness, I am working on overcoming it, in relation to my physical activity levels. This doesn’t mean I am not a hard worker, though. I give my all to everything I do work on.
Morbidly obese people who have issues don’t eat all of the time, however, we can eat our feelings.
It is not healthy, and I have done this to avoid facing my feelings. This is one very real thing that has contributed to my weight. It is not the defining factor, though. For me, it comes down to choices. I choose whether or not to be active. Choosing to eat a whole box of chocolates or a large bag of chips to eat my feelings away, instead of facing them. As a result of that choice, I may feel full, or even not well because of it, but I am not facing what is really going on in my life. Choosing fast food instead of taking an hour to cook. These choices add up. To one very important realization.
I am choosing the easy way because I do not feel like I am important enough to choose the better option. It is easier to avoid the issue rather than face feelings and deal with them. Choosing to do better is something I am working on. It is hard. There are so many choices available to me now that I am going to make the wrong ones sometimes. What do I need to do? Start taking action, by making better choices. This is truly the heart of the matter.
Let’s help each other to make better choices. How are you spending your Valentine’s Day? How are you showing yourself that you are important? Please, let me know in the comments.
First of all, yes, I am writing a book called #Tishspiration: The Art of Surprising Yourself. It will be an inspirational book. You might think it is a book about my mid-life crisis if you only looked at the surface, but I know better. In contrast, it is a book about self-discovery, and how it has been happening my whole life, without me knowing what to call it. The last few years have been building me to this step, hence the mid-life crisis comment. I am preparing for one of the most important parts.
I recently participated in some free online challenges. From pushing myself in this way, I grow, and then I share my progress when I am challenged to. I have gone to the edge of signing up for a program and stopped. I am not ready. The coaches have challenged me to get ready for next year. They want to work with me, as I have kept coming back. I realized I am not ready because I have not finished exploring what #Tishspiration is. As much as I need the guidance on what to do next, I need to find out what this concept means, and what direction it wants me to go in first. This is not an excuse. It is me doing what I do. Making sure things are indeed as ready as they can be before moving on to the next step is the reason why I am holding off.
It’s not just about the money.
Sure, money is a huge factor in a decision like this. There is a lot more to the story. I am the type of person who has a good sense of when I am ready to take the next step, and most importantly when something is finished. I see it a lot in my day to day life. For example, making decisions on what to write, when to write, and finally, when to stop writing. Every story has an end. They also have a beginning, and if written correctly, an interesting middle which you can’t walk away from.
I am at the beginning of this part of my journey. The book is the interesting part which will reveal what is going to come next. That is my plan, although I could surprise myself with what does come next. It is something I have been known to do, take a step back and just revel in what I just created. It can be in the beginning, middle or end, and there is no set pattern for when I can experience it. The nature of this concept is that it can apply to everyone. I need to share it. The world needs my message. When I figure out exactly what it is.
In my own mind, I have already made it.
You already know I am working hard, waiting for the rest of you to catch up with me. I don’t write this to be conceited, or narcissistic. I am also working hard to remain humble. There will be bad days, and failures. They are inevitable. How I choose to move forward when these things happen is what is going to help me get to the next level.
I wrote a book. Me. I decided to just stop making excuses and get it done. It was hard work. It was incredibly frustrating at times. But that moment, the moment when I opened the proof copy online in front of the people watching my Facebook Live video, it was real.
It was real, unrehearsed and beautiful. I had to bail when my emotions were threatening to make me ugly cry on the internet. Nobody needs to see that. It was me, feeling all the feels, and experiencing what it was really like to have written an actual book. There are no words to truly capture what it feels like. To pour your heart and soul into what you can finally hold in your hands. The closest I can come is purely magical.
I can never have that moment again. Not from my first book. I long to feel it in relation to my current book. It will happen, and when it does, I expect a new magical moment to accompany it.
Everyone is a Critic
People are going to scoff at your dreams. They don’t know how long they have lived inside of you, or how brave you are to chase them. They wouldn’t know if they never tried. Negativity is not random, at least not in my experience. It exists, and plagues us all, in our lives. Jealousy is something that drives people to be mean. Don’t let the negative outweigh the positive. Fight to find your purpose, your passion and your pleasure. Stand firm in what you decide is right for you. Then show them how it is done.
Keep on dreaming, while taking action
A dreamer is a wonderful thing to be. I am a dreamer who comes up with the thoughts which propel me into action. I have thought up some wild plans in my life. They don’t all work. The point is to not let yourself get stuck in the thinking part. Thinking and planning are important, but executing the plan is imperative. If I was still thinking about writing my first book, I would never have completed it. Never had that magical moment when I held it in my hands. As a result of inaction, I would be in a horrible frame of mind, thinking that I was stuck in life the way it used to be, with no way to make it better.
In conclusion, what I am trying to explain here is that it is okay to dream and it is okay to think about different possibilities for yourself. However, it is imperative to take action. On what you decide is right for you. Not for everyone else, but for you. See what I mean about this #Tishspiration thing? It needs to be explored. I can’t wait to share what I find out with you all.
Why are you hesitating? What are you dreaming up to be your life’s purpose, passion and pleasure? Please let me know, I would love to help you figure out your next step. I can only do that if you tell me what is on your mind. I do love helping people, and maybe I can help you!
One of the things I am most proud of accomplishing in 2018 was writing From Where I am Sitting…A Collection of Cat Tales. There is a large percentage of people who say they want to write a book; many more than those who actually do write a book because it is not an easy task. I am working on my second book. I have a point, I am getting to it.
My book is a memoir narrated by cats, I have had to find creative ways to share this whimsical book and find readers. I have successfully approached four local stores to carry my book for sale on consignment. As an Indie Author, this means going to each of these stores to ask if they were interested in carrying it, in person. Thankfully, all four said yes. It is something that has the potential to help increase sales locally.
Authors attend events where we offer to sign books for people who want to buy them. It is something I am learning how to do locally. I have my first book signing event coming up in a couple of weeks at the larger of the four stores. It is a really big step. I am excited about it.
Unusual Book Signing Events
I have actually had four book signing events already. One was at a former place of employment. The second one was at the Pet Expo. A memoir narrated by cats sure did belong there. The third one was at The Purrfect Cup – A Cat Cafe. This weekend I was at a fundraiser for four local animal shelters. I helped the volunteers run what I must say was a very successful event. I was really surprised by the turnout. From Where I am Sitting…was there as an item for sale with a dollar donated to the fundraiser with each sale, and one book was donated to the silent auction. By the end of the event, I had sold a few extra signed books. More importantly, I had made some new connections.
What about the Bling?
In this city, I have tried to sell my jewellery with low success as the local market is saturated. Did I give up? Not a chance. I reinvented it, and this year I am bringing it to my online store. It will never be perfect. The website will always need changes. It is how managing your own website works. I am doing my best and asking for help if I need to. My inexperience is the biggest issue I am fighting against, and I am not shy about it.
I haven’t seen nearly the same reaction to the jewellery as I have to the book. Which reinforces the fact that I am doing the right thing. I am moving forward, and changing how I am doing things. It is slowly starting to pay off. Not in my wallet yet, that will come with time. For now, I am networking. Meeting people, and getting my name out there. To my knowledge, there is only one MacWebber in the whole world, and she is typing away furiously right here, right now.
Being fearless doesn’t mean I don’t get scared
I am working on my dreams, without a safety net. At times, it is terrifying. Who knew that picking FEARLESS for my word of 2019 would be put to the test right from the start of the year? I didn’t. This may be something I choose more carefully next year. The entrepreneur in me is pushing hard to succeed. I won’t benefit from playing safe. It will grow from being fearless.
After letting my Extrovert self out, the Introvert in me wants to be at home again.
I am an ambivert which is a mixture of an extrovert and an introvert. I love being around people, and I value my quiet time. It is a good thing. Besides,as a result of being unemployed or on a tight budget, if I stay home I don’t spend money. 😉
Sunday I spent the afternoon cleaning. There is a lot more left to do. I have a hard time tearing myself away from my computer as I am often working on graphics or writing. For myself, a group I run, and now expanding to make some for friends. I am in the process of designing a logo for a peer. A friend needed help for a new business cover photo for Facebook page. Things like this are fun for me. If I have happy clients, it builds my portfolio. With constant improvement and persistence, I will succeed to start taking on more paying clients, for this and for the writing. I know my potential.
I need the coffee to do the things!
Oh yeah, the cleaning. These days I can’t really stand to even write about it, I have a hard time actually working on it. I made progress Sunday, and I cleared a small space. I will continue tomorrow. The problem I have right now is that I am an overachiever. I optimistically think I can get things accomplished on time. With more on the go, I can get wrapped up in what I am working on, and never get to the other items on my to do list. There it is, the helpful process I need to follow to get things done.
If I skip drinking coffee in the morning I become very unproductive. I need coffee and really good multivitamins to keep going. With this plan, I can do everything. The problem then becomes only doing the bare minimum of what I need to do because I am having way too much fun doing what I want to do.
Which makes me wonder why the things I want to do are not considered important enough to be the things I need to do. Hmm. My solution in my mind is to break out the agendas I bought (yes, I bought 2 again this year one for home and one for my purse,) to try and schedule my time more effectively. On a positive note, I have lowered the number of cups of coffee I have been drinking in a day. I am trying to change things in my life, to make it better. How was your weekend? What are you changing?
I started a weight loss support group. It seemed like I was doing well at the start, with the weight loss. After the holidays, I gained more weight. I was very disappointed, but, I could only blame myself.
Things changed in my life around the same time. I changed jobs. I was a bundle of nerves, and I did it. After working at the same job for seven years, I took a chance. You can probably imagine how surprised I was to be unemployed three months later. Consequently, I am still adjusting. I am choosing to see this as an opportunity to write full time.
Control
What I do have control over is what I eat. I have been unemployed for almost two weeks, and in that time I lost 10 pounds. I gained one back this week. My eating habits and my sleeping patterns need to be scheduled again. With a schedule, I will have more control.
I had an appointment with my doctor. She was expressing concern about my sugars. They were creeping back up again. One positive thing to note was my blood pressure was good we have been working to improve it. I was overwhelmed that day, and I told her I had nowhere to put the emotions I was fighting to hide.
I was having a hard time. There is no easy way to say it. I was struggling in many areas of my life, and I didn’t know how badly I needed help.
The doctor asked me if she could set up some appointments. With tears rolling down my face, I agreed. At the time, I was concerned about my work schedule. It is no longer an issue. I have had two of the appointments, and am working on the others. One is with the Diabetes Clinic. One is with a social worker. I did not know what to think about it.
The social worker was really nice. She explained that she meets with people to help them find the help they need, by connecting them with resources. If there is one thing I am learning, is that if you can use resources which are available to you. Use them to the fullest advantage.
We talked about the loss of my income. She recommended a community food program for fruits and vegetables. I am looking into it this week. She wants me to go to the career counselling center I had gone to about a year ago. In a few weeks, I will meet with her again.
An appointment with the health coach I had been working with back in the fall will be rescheduled. I had every intention to reschedule. Now I will make time. One would think that becoming unemployed unexpectedly would have left me with a lot of free time.
Why am I busier now?
I am working towards a freelance writing career. I am staying up too late and sleeping in. There is a need to make time for exercise. It will come. I need to catch up on chores. I am starting to work on them. We are eating more meals at home, as we have to be careful with our budget. Healthy eating will be a challenge on a tighter budget. I need to fight my way out of this to be able to take the next steps to managing my health, and my life.
I am making my own schedule. Today I went outside to shovel the snow. It was an attempt at a little fresh air and exercise. There had been a little snowfall today. I wanted to feel like I accomplished something.
Winter is hard on my mental health. I am susceptible to seasonal depression. I am adding vitamin D into my daily routine, to see if it helps. Today was a really hard day. I made myself get up, get dressed, and go outside. I didn’t want to get out of bed. Things will be easier in the spring. For now, I keep fighting.
This week, I accomplished a lot
I relaunched my website and I had some appointments. Today, I fought the winter blues and made my way outside. Tomorrow I am going to cook 2 healthy meal options for myself. I can keep working on my own goals, and stop being a victim of circumstances. I will. It might take some time to get things going in the right direction again. Once I make up my mind, things start happening. It is good to be blogging again. I think I need this part of my life to be active to help me to be accountable. Hopefully, this helps a reader one day too.
It’s hard to start over. How do you get things under control again? Let me know, maybe you can help me as I try to help you.
