Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 26

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 26

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 26

Struggling with a weight issue is hard.  It is hard to stay motivated all of the time.  It is hard to commit to making the changes needed to see results.  The results don’t happen overnight, and there is no quick and easy fix.

Words matter.  Whether they are good to hear and provide encouragement or not, a person that is struggling with weight issues has deep rooted insecurities that can make a little comment pack a punch that hurts so bad that you want to give up.

I am writing this week to tell you to keep going.  I am writing to tell myself the same thing.  Sometimes the little monster inside is making the biggest racket and causing you to doubt yourself.  Other times the damage is done from someone that you would least expect it from, and when you are blindsided by hurtful words, it can cause a setback in your progress.

It is easier to give up.  It is easy to blame someone else.  Neither option is the right one, though.  I am working on choosing my battles carefully right now.  There will always be petty, jealous, mean people out there.  I need to choose to be the bigger person.  Yeah, I just wrote that, but it is how I am supposed to say it.  I don’t mean physically, of course.  If it was that easy, I would just eat so much that I would sit on the people that hurt me.  Oh, that would be nasty.  Fun to think about, but not very realistic.

I guess I could rephrase that into being the more mature person.  Fat or old. I don’t think there is a real winner here.

Being practical about what I choose to believe is something I am working on.  I am an emotional, hormonal, creative, over the top, learning to believe in my own skills woman.  That is a lot to deal with, and it can all happen in five minutes or less. If my hair is frazzled, it is expressing what is going on inside.  If I am quiet, I may be mulling something over in my mind, or too angry to speak without a filter.  That brain to mouth filter gets a little less effective as I am getting older.  Sometimes it is a good thing. Other times it is not.

As a creative person, I embrace my emotions.  ALL OF THEM. Which means that sometimes when someone is mean, I OVERREACT.  I over think, over analyze, and get overly upset.  If it is something that is mean, I may focus on it for a really long time.  This is not healthy and it is not helpful.

There will always be people who think they know more than I do and think that they are experts because of their own education, opinion, or life experiences.  I am confident that I am unique and a one of a kind.  If I am not an expert on me in my own life, well there is just no way that I can accept someone else’s opinion about what I am doing to better myself.  I am living my life, not just existing in it.  I am making changes, and not just letting things happen.  I am not perfect so I will make mistakes along the way.  But they are mine to make, and I am going to own them.  All I can do is admit when I am wrong, and learn from the mistakes.  That is all anyone can really do about it.

Tackle something with me this week.  Let the inner glow out of the cage.  Shine as bright as you can from the outside in. Believe in yourself, and prove to yourself that you are worth it because you can take one thing that is hindering you and just let it go.  Release it.

I once did a group relaxation exercise in university.  We were to go to our happy place inside our mind. Check. Then we were to imagine taking all of the negative and stress causing issues we have and put them inside something so we could leave them locked up and not worry about them anymore.  I am sure it was supposed to be an imaginary box or trunk or something that we could close, lock, and throw away the key for.

I shoved it all in a blender and turned it on.  Man, that felt good.  It made me giggle, and that was the point. To make it all go away.

Find your blender, and pulverize the negativity out of your life.  Theoretically, of course. Then dump it out and clean it so it is ready for your next concoction.  If it is nasty enough, flush that negative smoothie down the imaginary toilet.

It works for me.  How do you make the things that are weighing you down leave your mind to be clear?

Trust Your Gut.  It knows you want to shine.  Have a bright and glowing week!

#TrustYourGut

 

A Kind Word Goes A Long Way

A Kind Word Goes A Long Way

Well, here I am, on day one of my staycation.  I know, it’s not a real word; but it is in my world.  I am prepping for my only Christmas Craft Show this year, Christmas In The Dobie; I am going to be working on my blogging and I will be working on this site as well.  I have joined a couple of writing groups, in the hope of fulfilling one of my dreams to write a fantasy trilogy.  I am now trying to get serious about this writing thing.  Having this week off to work on projects that matter to me is going to be very motivational when I have to get back to work in a week’s time.

I have just started here.  I have gotten feedback and help from strangers.  That is something I have to say is great.  I am a pantser which refers to me flying by the seat of my pants, not a plotter that plans things out and works in a structured format.  Both styles are successful, if applied properly.  So I am here, blogging, from the seat of my pants, and hoping to have others come along for the ride.

The feedback was constructive.  I am working with advice from someone in another country, and she is showing me how to make this site more user friendly, and to attract more followers.  In the land of blogging, this is what it’s all about.  More hits, more followers, and more opportunities in the land of the internet and beyond.

The comment was very kind.  Having a stranger take the time to read what I have written and quote a part of it in the comment was really cool.  It gives me the courage to keep going.

It doesn’t only apply to the blog.  I have been working at getting healthier too.  When someone notices, and it is real, by that I mean I am losing weight, it feels wonderful.  When someone says that I look like I am losing weight and I am not,  I don’t feel good about the compliment.  So it depends on me sometimes to be in the frame of mind to accept a compliment in the way it is intended.  It is hard to not feel bad inside when it isn’t a real one, no matter how the intended comment was given.  We have all had them, those compliments that people give because they are trying to say something nice and it backfires because it isn’t true.  Until this year, I have never really felt like I had earned any compliments about losing weight.  Because it wasn’t true, not since I went through Weight Watchers with my mom in grade 11&12.

Here’s the thing, though.  Those comments aren’t being said to hurt me.  They are telling me that I am looking better, whether it is about the weight or not.  Maybe the clothes are fitting better because my body has changed since the last time I wore that outfit.  Maybe I am happy and as an emotional girl, that shows, and that is what the person is seeing.  Whatever is said, it is being said to encourage me to keep trying, and that is what I have to focus on.

It has taken me a LONG time to realize this.  I have never been good at taking compliments to begin with, and I think it is because I don’t always feel like I have earned them.  That boils down to me being way too hard on myself.  It is the way I am.  I don’t know how to be any other way.

So, I am trying to learn.  It is not easy to change how I react to what people say.  Taking the meaning behind the words is how I will be able to grow as a person, and thrive on the positivity.  I have to filter out the feelings and run with the good stuff.  I am getting better at this.  It is something I have to consciously work at, though.  Everybody isn’t out to get me or be mean.  Some people are.  I am going to encounter negative comments and feedback also.  It will happen.  But that is a different struggle.  Those have to be released into a black hole somewhere in outer space,  as far away from my heart as I can get them.  Otherwise they will drag me down, and that isn’t where I want to live my life.

When I do something creative, like design a new pattern for earrings that is mine from concept to finished product, I feel genuinely accomplished.  Proud of what I made, because it is my work, with my own pattern.  When I get on the scale, and I don’t want a hammer because it is showing that my hard work is paying off, I shout out loud for everyone to hear, and then if someone says something nice, it does what it is supposed to.  It makes me feel good.

Words matter.  Choose yours carefully, and make the world a better place because of them.  If you can help someone today by being kind, please do.  It might be the only good thing that person hears all day, or even all week.  It is nice to have something good to remember that tells you to keep going, and that you matter.  We all do.  If your words come from your heart and are meant to be nice, then go for it.  It’s the thought that counts, and for some people, it will mean more than you will ever know.

christmas-in-the-dobie-2016

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