Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 68 | Good Things Are Happening

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 68 | Good Things Are Happening

Good things are happening for me, and for some friends of mine. I started a small beta group to support people like me with regards to weight loss. It has been running for a while now, and I have asked for feedback to make it better for the users, and as my own research to prepare for the option of expanding to a paid membership group. I haven’t fully decided on what to do next, to be honest. I’m going to share a bit about the good things which are happening.

We are more of an accountability & support group. There is no plan we all follow, we each are responsible for our own choices in that manner. We are working on daily step count totals, and I have kind of fallen behind in our weekly totals. We are also working o water intake and healthy recipes. I post tips with articles once a week. Recipes are shared, and there is a weigh-in day, a non-scale victory day and feedback on Fridays. Other days allow for a spa day to treat yourself, and prep cooking meal planning prompts.

I create more graphics, which I did as a result of feedback, and I think the group likes them. Every so often, I make new ones. Scheduling the posts keeps them consistent. I can forget things when I am busy.

We had some milestones in June.

One member is in ‘onederland’ which is below 200 lbs, and two members are in ‘twoville’ which is below 300 lbs. For us, these are huge goals, and I celebrated their victories with them. I am not sharing their names, as it is not what matters here. The important thing to note is that we are holding each other accountable, and providing support to each other. With success!

I had a scare last week when I got on the scale at the doctor’s office. I was not amused. It weighed me at 330 lbs. I have never been that high, and I was quietly very upset by that number. I told Roy that I should have only celery for supper.

It was awful, even though I knew it was a different scale, a different time of day, and I had clothing on. It was still a nasty number to see.

Wednesday rolled around this week, and I prepared to step on my scale.

I was not 330 lbs. I weighed in at 320.8 lbs. What a difference! I had actually lost weight in two weeks. Things are not as bad as they appear to be, even if I am not at one of the major milestones, yet.

I am working towards that first milestone, twoville, myself. When people ask me if I lost weight, I really want to be able to say, yes. Some still ask. My answer is honest. I am moving more, and I am trying to make healthier choices. This week I feel like I did something right because I was down about 4 lbs in 2 weeks. However, I won’t feel like it is enough to talk about until I start hitting some major milestones.

I am waiting for my body to adjust to the highest dose of Victoza. The doctor recently increased it, and when I adjust, I start needing to lower both of my insulin injections. It is the reason to take this new injection, to lower the number of insulin injections. As a type 2 diabetic, my body still makes insulin but doesn’t make enough, or it isn’t being used properly. Taking less means my body is using its own insulin more effectively. It is another good thing. I was worried about nausea with the Victoza, but it only affected me for a couple of days when I started it a few months ago.

Hard work pays off, especially when you have accountability and a support system.

#TrustYourGut

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 68 | Good Things Are Happening

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 67 | It has its ups and downs.

Issues with weight. It has its ups and downs. On the scale, in the grocery store, with activity…I could go on for days with how many things can affect my issues with weight. I am not alone. So many people have issues with their body image, and if it is something everyone experiences, then we need to take a step back.

Reflection on our body image can be a harsh experience, if we let it. I remember when I was writing about gremlins, a while back, who were whispering so softly I didn’t even realize they were inside my head. One thing we can do to help ourselves is to change the message we are hearing from within. I did not come up with this concept, but I am giving it a whirl.

I have been working so hard on myself and this includes my health. It is tedious to be focusing on it all the time. It could be something to obsess about if I let it. I am not the best at the daily record keeping for this. Why?

I struggle with prioritizing me on my list

What? I have been working on this issue for what seems like the whole time I have been writing in this category. If I was doing this on a regular basis, things would be better. I know it. You know it. Sometimes I have a hard time thinking that I deserve to be on my list. Oh, I have this, and that, and so many things to do that I should do which are more important than filling out the daily checklists which I have taken the time to write down. Am I filling out the paper for time management were given to me to track my time? NO! I am important enough to fit my health and my time into my list. Why can’t I just grasp this concept? It is a struggle, like the title says, with its ups and downs.

Yes. I am writing that I did take the time to make my checklist, and I do have paperwork for accountability to bring to all of my appointments. This is my attempt to get the ball rolling again. For the billionth time. Maybe this time it will work. It has to.

The pressure of letting down the professionals I am working with is not enough incentive. It used to be. When I decided to work on me while I have the time, I was doing the work. I stopped. As a result, I am trying to get back to creating healthy habits. Some days, it is so hard.

I was relying on others to make me do the work

Of course it was easier to get me to do things if other people were counting on me. If others need my help, I am the first one to volunteer. I need to focus on more than just time management. I need to get to the bottom of my issues. What does that mean, really?

It means I have to do the work.

As we all roll our eyes at this, me while I write it, and you when you read it, it is the truth. It isn’t rocket science. Hard work is not easy, and if you fall out of line, it isn’t so easy to get back on track. If doing the work was easy, it wouldn’t be something a lot of people struggle with.

Accountability Groups

I am in a lot of groups on social media. Most of them are not run by me, but one is. It is a support group, of 8 people with weight issues. I do find it is helpful for me to have a safe place to encourage others and myself. It helps me to try harder and to do better. The members help me to change it for the better, which is incredibly helpful. Their input is crucial in keeping it active. I am scheduling the posts a week at a time, so I don’t fall behind. I still interact with the group in the prompts, and for now, I am happy with it.

We do work on meal planning, tips, weigh ins once a week, non scale victories, feedback, spa day, and activity. One topic per day, although sometimes I miss a day here or there. I have added in recipe shares when I find new recipes, or some I have tried already and love.

I do think I can keep improving it, but for now, it works for our needs. Part of the work I need to do is to manage my time more effectively, to become more productive. This will allow me to do more of the things I need to do in more areas of my life.

Finally, I want to ask you about how you think of yourself.

Self-reflection is a difficult thing to do. Start with your positive features, and increase from there to how awesome you are. Especially if you read this blog! ūüėČ I happen to think my best feature is my blue eyes. Instead of commenting with what you do not like, please leave a comment below about your best features. Let’s share our ups this week, and forget about the scale.

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 36

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 36

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 36

Well, I have good news, and bad news this week.  I went to the Doctor. Not because I was sick, but rather because it was time for a checkup.  I met my new doctor. Finally.  If first impressions are worth anything, I knew in the first minute I found myself a good one.  She seemed meticulous and genuinely wanted to get an idea of my plans in relation to my overall health before my checkup.  I needed to find a doctor that I could trust, again. My last doctor was good, but I think this one is going to be great.

The bad news is that I got weighed.  I am not at the all-time high from before, but I certainly am not in as good a shape as I have been in the past.  I am not following the plan, and I am visibly showing that to the world.

What is wrong with me? Why do I eat things that are bad for me? Why can’t I just lose weight and eat whatever I want to eat, like skinny people do?

I have health issues.¬† I have reasons, and I know that realistically, it didn’t add up overnight, so it will not be removed overnight, either.¬† I know in my mind that junk food is bad for me, and healthy food can taste good. But sometimes I pick the lazy way. Other times I self-sabotage. There are times when I just create excuses and choose to believe them, even though I know they are lies.¬† Chocolate and the monster have been prominent in the last few months.

I don’t know how long I am going to be in this slump. I do know that the number on the scale made me take notice.¬† It is a real number, one I can’t pretend isn’t an issue anymore by refusing to weigh myself. Avoidance is not a valid option when it comes to Diabetes.¬† I know that. I am having difficulties in other parts of my life, and something is holding me back from being the best version of myself.

Sometimes, you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb out of a slump and rise up to your next level.¬† Whatever I am going through in my personal life, I can’t eat it away.¬† I have to face it and deal with it. Head on.

That is not an easy thing to do. It is not an easy thing to think about, let alone to write about, to share with people. But it is going to help me break free and move forward.

Change is hard. I have been pushing my limits with my writing and my blog while keeping a day job and running on coffee.  I have been out of the multivitamins for a few months, now, and I plan to buy some again asap. They do help.

I got the doctor to change one of my prescriptions.  One of the side effects of the other medication was drowsiness, and I was having a hard time with it.  I know that I am a night owl, but I used to be OK with keeping up with my current schedule. I am starting to not do as well as before.

Maybe that was me tapping into the mystical energy people talk about having when they lose weight.¬† I have gone in the wrong direction on the scale, again, and that is definitely a factor. Being heavier means it is harder to do everything because you weigh more. It doesn’t mean I am going to stop and give up.

I need to do some soul searching, and find a reason to get things back on track.  I know I felt better, had more energy, and was happier.  But if things are not Ok on the inside, and I am spending some of the precious energy I do have in keeping up the appearance of being happy for the world to see, then I need to get to the root of the problem, so I can find a solution.

It isn’t easy, but it is necessary to propel me into my next level. The fear of wondering how bad my weight has become is not holding anything over my head anymore. I know what it is, and I know how it happened.¬† Now I have to find out why, so I can take the next step to working on my goals.¬† I have to keep telling myself that I am worth the effort, that I matter, and that it is important to make my health a priority.¬† It won’t be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is.¬† Time to deep dive into my issues and make some changes.

#TrustYourGut

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 36

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 10

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 10

Today is the day I have picked to start shopping for a new bathing suit.  Wish me luck!  I need it in terms of my requirements, but I am also looking for a sale and not hours of searching!

The good news this week is that I am hovering within two pounds of that twoville goal, still.  The bad news is that I have not crushed that goal yet.

Which means that this is a perfect week to write about another THM concept.  I really like this one.  It is called NSV.  That translates into a Non Scale Victory.  So what is an NSV?  It is anything you can celebrate OTHER than the successes you fight to see on the scale.  The weight on the scale is a number, and it can be depressing if you obsess about it especially if it is not moving in the right direction or moving at the speed you want it to change at.

I wrote about twoville, and it is looming on my horizon again. ¬†It is a Scale Victory when you have a happy dance on the floor after you weigh yourself and see a good number. Don’t think too hard about that. ¬†Yes, that would be me, ¬†first thing in the morning, after a trip to the washroom, in my birthday suit, having a happy dance. ¬†Not the thing you want to focus on here.

The NSV is something that doesn’t relate to the scale, directly. ¬†I have set my first official NSV as a small one. ¬†The blog will help, for sure with this. ¬†I want to be able to comfortably wear both my wedding band and engagement ring together on my finger. ¬†I have the engagement ring on a lovely gold chain, that I wear from time to time, but it belongs on my ring finger. ¬†I have fluid built up in my fingers, and you may think this is funny, but when I had a cashier job in the past, I noticed that my fingers were less puffy when I had that job. ¬†I was using my hands a lot when I was a cashier, and it helped my fingers to lose weight. ¬†Not that there is a lot of extra weight in my fingers, but it was a really good experience to look at slimmer hands and fingers. ¬†As I blog, I am exercising my fingers. ¬†It might not seem like a big thing to other people, but it matters to me.

When there is fluid built up in my fingers, wearing my ring causes an indentation. ¬†I have short fingers, and the fluid doesn’t stop me from wearing the rings together, but it is painful to wear them both at the same time. I can get them both on, but it does block circulation in the finger, and it is painful to take it back off, because of this. So I am working on my health, and trying the rings on together from time to time.

It doesn’t have to be about the number on the scale only. ¬†It can be about fitting back into an old pair of jeans, having to buy new clothes because the ones you have don’t fit, changing the size of clothing you wear, or measuring your inches and seeing that the shape of you…r body (Shout out to Ed Sheeran, love that song!) ¬†is changing when the numbers on the scale are not.

As we all struggle with weight together, whatever our issues are, we all have them.  It is good to set reasonable goals to go along with making changes to live a healthier lifestyle.  I know it helps me to check in from time to time with a measuring tape and my rings.  It can even be as simple as the clothing you wear fitting better, or that you can climb that annoying flight of stairs without needing to take a break, or losing your breath.

Pedometers are wonderful because they can help you increase your daily step count by challenging yourself.  I will write a Zumba post about this soon, we are talking about steps at Zumba class since I am sharing my steps after each class.  I am also involved with a group 100 Coffees, and they are challenging members to start healthier habits. Drinking water is necessary for life.  In this group, one of the admins is asking us about how much water we drink each day, as a way to hold those who choose to do this accountable for drinking enough water every day.  It is great to have a support system for healthier lifestyles, and encouragement is a wonderful thing.  100 Coffees is a group of women entrepreneurs, so if you fit that description, go check it out!

I am looking forward to the day that I can wear both of my rings comfortably at the same time as my first official NSV.  What is your NSV?  Any comments might help you figure out what small goal you need to work on, give you a place for your own accountability, or help someone else find a reasonable NSV to start working on.  I look forward to seeing what other people are setting as their own goals.

 

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 36

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 5

 

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

Here is the next addition to my own story, Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 5

Emotional Eating Epiphany

Today’s Trust Your Gut story is brought to you by alliteration, and the 5th letter of the alphabet, the letter “E”. ¬†It is the fifth entry in my own story.

You don’t generally get to be hovering between 299 lbs and 301 lbs by eating healthy, drinking lots of water, and exercising regularly. ¬†It doesn’t work that way.

I love food. ¬†Not only am I addicted to sugar, but I centre a lot of my thoughts, moods and feelings around food. ¬†I never thought about it too much before this past week. ¬†I have had a doozy, but the point of this story is not to focus on what is happening in my life, but rather how it affects me in terms of my weight issues. ¬†That’s what the series is about.

So I’m going to break it down real simple. ¬†If I am bored, I eat. ¬†If I am hungry, I eat. ¬†If I am moody, I eat sweets. ¬†Sometimes I can keep myself to the small sample of one of each type. ¬†In candy, this can be reasonable. ¬†If it is a box of doughnuts, that could be a disaster. ¬†I have cravings. ¬†I do obsess about food sometimes. ¬†If I am lazy, I eat fast food. ¬†If I am gearing up for a real honest to goodness attempt at not having junk food in the house, I will eat it all and then it is gone. ¬†That is what I tell myself, I can really work on that plan after the bad food is all gone. ¬†Not thrown in the trash, but devoured.

I am working on it.  All the time.  I find if I give into a craving when it happens, I can have what I am telling myself I need to eat, and then I can move past it.  The problem is, the damage is already done.  I have to take extra medicine for my sugars when I am not behaving. I have recently discovered, the hard way, that if I eat too much sugar, not only does it make me sleepy, like narcoleptic, but I can now feel sick to my stomach if I eat too many sweets.  Does that stop me?  Not if I am mad, or sad, or bored.  Not if I know in the back of my mind that there are cookies in the kitchen or that box of chocolates, well it is empty because I ate those a tray at a time so it was gone from the house faster.  And doing damage to my health by being in my belly.

It is easier to eat your emotions than deal with them.  When you associate feelings with food, you learn to rely on it to feel good things.  Food makes me feel better.  In the short term.  It keeps me from thinking about what is really happening, and from having to deal with it.

I have spent a lot of time eating, and a lot of time avoiding the reasons why I am eating what I am eating.  I have had to start to focus more on what I am eating, instead of just grabbing whatever is quick and easy.  It takes grocery list making, meal planning, meal prepping, and a plan for storing what I have made.  That consumes a lot of time and requires energy and the desire to spend the time on myself and my health.  To want to do better.  For me.

It does no good for me to meal prep too much because it would be a waste to not have the containers to divide it into meal sized portions. ¬†I am now trying to plan different meals at times. ¬†That is more work. ¬†But my husband appreciates the efforts to make him his own food, as he has a day job too, and we can’t afford to eat out every day, financially or healthily. ¬†It is hard, sometimes, to pace myself with it, as I would benefit from having extra food made in advance so I can eat healthy with little effort on a regular basis. ¬†I go in circles, with the creative mind, and when I get on a roll, if I don’t go with it, I don’t know when I will feel like tackling the prep cooking again. ¬†I go through productive spells, and slumps. ¬†Currently, I am in a slump.

This is my second year of being on the Trim Healthy Mama Plan. ¬†There are times when I follow it like a Bible, and I am able to be strict and keep myself on the plan. ¬†The plan does have some foundation from religion, so it is an accurate description. ¬†There are other times when I view it as a guideline, like when I am dabbling with it. ¬†I like the 3-hour rule. ¬†If you go off plan, you get right back on it in 3 hours. ¬†Give yourself some grace, allow yourself to be human, and move on. ¬†Don’t wallow in it. ¬†Good in theory. ¬†I like this concept. ¬†But if I am being honest, I am cutting myself too much slack right now, and not making myself get back on plan as a reaction to keep the momentum going in the right direction.

I finally put it all together, this week, when I was thinking about writing this week’s story. ¬†I need to stand up to my feelings. ¬†It will be rough. ¬†But I am avoiding them every time I eat them. ¬†That is a bad place for anyone to be in. ¬†It is time for me to take action. ¬†I want out of this cycle. ¬†When I follow Trim Healthy Mama, I do feel better, and I do see results. ¬†Win win! ¬†It’s time to up my game, and work on myself. ¬†Nobody else is going to fix it for me, so I have to work on myself for myself and by myself.

After the week I just had, the hardest part is going to be convincing myself that I am worth the effort.  I know it in my heart, but it is covered in layers of unhealthiness, telling me the easy way is the best way.  Old habits die hard, and I am fighting for my life. Again.  One day at a time, one meal at a time, one snack at a time.  Every 3 hours, I can stay on plan, not need to get back on plan.  Start with something you can do as a beginning, and ride it through to the end.  I will keep reminding myself that I can do this, and the food is wonderful, so I should work harder at this.  I know I will see results.  I just have to be strong, and learn how to deal with my feelings.  

I am also going to have to change one of my favourite sayings. ¬†I really believe that the day gets better after lunch. ¬†It means you are closer to the end of your workday after lunch. ¬†Or it means I am focusing on my food because I don’t want to think about work. ¬†It’s going to be a hard thing to get a solid 8 hours of sleep every night, but I am going to try and focus on that, for a while. ¬†Rest is important to your health, so it is a better thing to focus on, rather than food, or the next meal or snack. ¬†I don’t like going to bed, I never have. ¬†Once I am settled, it is hard to climb back out of bed. ¬†I didn’t like to have to get in the shower when I was growing up, either. ¬†Same thing, once I am in there, I don’t want to get out. ¬†I have changed my train of thought on that one, I play music in the shower, it helps me try to keep it reasonable in length of time when I am in there. ¬†And music makes my world go round. ¬†If I can change my mind about that, then I can change my mind about lunch. ¬†A new focus may be just what I need to get out of my slump.