Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 82 | Reflections

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 82 | Reflections

by | Jan 14, 2022 | Trust Your Gut

Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 82 | Reflections

A lot has happened since I last wrote a blog in this category (or any category, for that matter). The scale has even crept a little higher than what you see in the cover photo. That terrifies me so much I have stopped stepping onto the scale. I know it can be an obsession if I get on it too frequently, but also dangerous for me to be oblivious about what my weight is. I watch shows like my 600 LB Life and The 1000 LB Sisters. I don’t watch because I want to be like them or to be on one of the shows. I watch to remind myself what is going to happen if I continue to make bad choices.

It is early January 2022. My husband and I went on a road trip, the first one since July of 2019. We traveled to Nova Scotia to stay with his mother for the week. It was a nice visit. My mother-in-law knows I love lobster, and she made sure there was plenty for me to have as a treat during our visit. I ate my fill, and then some. After all, it was the holiday season, and with the world the way it is, we didn’t have plans to paint the town red during our visit.

We did go out one evening to see the Christmas lights. There were some really great decorated houses to see, and it was a nice break from having to stay the blazes home. (Hey, I was IN Nova Scotia, where this song came from…)

While I was away, I had a lot of time to think.

Too much, if you ask me. I got inside my head a bit, and when that happens, it is not always a good thing. When I am being creative, it can be wonderful, but when I am just left alone with my thoughts, they aren’t always nice to me.

One change my mother-in-law has made in her home since inheriting it is the layout on the ground floor and adding an ensuite bathroom. Before, when we visited the home she grew up in, there was a bathtub but no shower. I am not a bath person. I might take one from time to time, but I love a good, long, hot shower. At home, I often run out of hot water before I am finished, and it is something that irritates me a lot. I do think in there, and that does happen when the water is running. So believe me when I tell you, the showers I took while I was away were glorious! Not only were they in a brand new bathroom, but the shower had a light in the ceiling, the shower head was detachable and held in place with a magnet, and I had plenty of hot water. I did not feel rushed, which I often do at home.

She also has a lovely oval mirror hanging on the back of the bathroom door. It is wider than the ones you find on sale in September for the college crowd. It has a lovely wooden frame, possibly oak. and it is hung at the perfect height on the bask of the bathroom door in the ensuite. With no real schedule to follow for a week, I was able to take my time in the shower, and in getting ready, so everything I needed was easy to find when I got out.

I found myself admiring the mirror.

Of course, when I had undressed to get into the shower, I looked at my reflection. Something I do not stop to do very often. What I saw was a person who carries her extra weight on the front of her body, for the most part. From the thighs to my chin, the excess weight on my body hangs on the front half. Sure, there is room for improvement all the way around, but the majority of my weight issue is all in front of me. And it was obvious to see as I looked at my reflection. I just don’t know when the last time I stopped long enough to take a good look at the side view of myself was. Or to be honest, if I ever really did before.

I did not look with any thoughts in my mind. I was not bashing myself for what I saw. I just took a real good look and was objective about it. This is where the weight is, and these are the areas that need the most work. It didn’t affect me emotionally to do this. Which is both good and bad. Let me explain.

Obviously, if it made me feel bad about my self image, it would have been devastating to see my reflection. It is a good thing to be in a place of reality when it comes to my weight. I understand that I have a lot of extra weight and that the only way that changes is if I change. Which is good. But being okay with what I saw isn’t the healthiest outcome, either. I am accepting myself at face value, and not in a desperate panic to change how I look, either. It won’t change overnight, but there needs to be some feeling there to make me want to change, and I am not sure the feeling was in me.

This is what I look like.

Sometimes you need to give yourself a reality check and a wake-up call to understand what others see when they look at you. When you come from a place of kindness to yourself, it makes a world of difference. It means I didn’t spiral out of control with food, and I allowed myself to have treats, just enough to be something small, but not overindulgent. There are no selfies accompanying this blog, as I saw what I saw, and I have moved forward with the start of a plan for 2022.

I am making the effort to prep cook and meal plan this year. I am also going to live up to my word for 2022, and dance every day in 2022. As a result of this, I will be more active, and I will be able to leave the dead weight of 2021 behind me. Now that is something I can commit to.

What are you doing in 2022 to move forward in a more healthy way? #trustyourgut

Tish Dancing her way through the galaxy in 2022.
Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 82 | Reflections

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 75 | Keeping My Eyes On The Prize

by | Nov 14, 2019 | Trust Your Gut

Distractions are all around us. No matter where you look, they are out there. Waiting for you. When I was talking to a friend earlier today about an unrelated topic, she pointed out the obvious. I need to focus, and to help me to do this, I need to be keeping my eyes on the prize.

In the business world, I am seen as a bit confusing, as I have been told I am too diversified. When we talked about this, I explained that I thought it was what I was supposed to be doing, because the moment I declared that my jewellery business, Tish MacWebber Always Blinging would now be officially a hobby for me, someone wanted to buy Book Bling. I took it as a sign, telling me that I was right all along. I thought it meant to keep pushing forward, full speed ahead in all areas.

My friend wisely pointed out I misinterpreted the sign. It wasn’t telling me to keep doing all of the things, but rather, testing my declaration.

WHOA!

Hang on there.

Maybe I was wrong.

In that moment, I realized she was right. The sign wasn’t a sign at all. It was a distraction.

How many times have you misinterpreted a sign?

I can assure you, it is very easy to do. One minute you are feeling great about the choices you have made for the food you have eaten so far that day and the next minute you are looking at the tub of ice cream in your freezer. You didn’t open the freezer to get ice cream, but now that it is staring you in the face, it is the only reason you should have opened the freezer.

Or is it?

What you really opened the freezer for was to get the bag of frozen broccoli out to thaw because you want to make a casserole, and one of the ingredients is broccoli.

But the ice cream is just there. Screaming at you. Insisting that it needs you to eat it right now, so that you can get the instant gratification it always gives you. You imagine yourself eating all of the ice cream, and how happy you will be.

Until you realize that you ate it all and feel awful because you were doing so well and the ice cream DISTRACTED you from your goal. Oh, it is sneaky and mean and it wants you to eat it all every time you open the freezer.

So do you lock the freezer and never open it again?

You could. It is not the practical choice, and truthfully it is not very realistic.

Should you declare to never ever buy ice cream again?

Maybe. But we all know the second you do, your favourite flavour is going to be on an incredible sale the very next time you walk into the grocery store.

What is the right answer?

Focus.

When I open the freezer, I need to focus on the broccoli. The ice cream is only going to be a temporary distraction. Ice cream has its time and place, as a treat, not as an everyday splash into guilty pleasures. As much as I love a bowl of ice cream, I need to remember that I am on a new path where I am being kind to myself.

I need to love myself more than I love ice cream

That right there is a bold statement. The love I have for ice cream is right up there with lobster and pizza. It includes chocolate. To be perfectly honest, there aren’t many foods which I don’t love. The struggle is most certainly real, and when you put broccoli up against ice cream, the broccoli doesn’t stand a chance if I am not committed to my goals.

Broccoli has one thing going for it in this equation. Me. If I choose to get the broccoli and continue making the casserole, I will be preparing a meal which can be the reason I open the freezer for. Healthy food is how I show myself kindness. I need to focus on the short term goals to be able to claim the prize I am aiming for.

I know I will falter from time to time. Being human means I am not perfect, and I will make mistakes. I will be tested and distracted. The point is to not stay there. If you picked up the tub of ice cream because it was on sale, it is going to be there until you eat it. Unless you need to eat your feelings, which is never the positive choice to make but might happen if you get dumped or fired, it is not going to go bad before you eat it. It can stay right where it is because it will be there when you do decide that you want a bowl of ice cream as a treat.

Indulgences are a privilege of being an adult

You are your own boss of your life. So get the broccoli out of the freezer, close the door and act like it. Set your goals, keep your eyes on the prize and focus.

As I am writing, I am also recognizing that I have steadily lost a pound or two in the last few weeks. I weighed in at 313.6 pounds yesterday. I am getting closer to taking the new picture for this blog, the one where I show myself and the world I can and will reach my goals, one pound at a time.

You can do this with me. I believe in us.

#TrustYourGut