In Treasure Seeker Tuesday this week, it is time to tell a story. Once upon a time, more than a few years ago, I was chasing another dream. A local craft store had decided to close. I talked to the owners, I made a business plan, I presented it to a committee, and it was rejected. It was rather deflating. The dreams were dashed, and I put it away. It is hard to put yourself out there for a dream to have it crushed. Really hard.
Inexperience was probably the biggest factor in the rejection. I did not know how to make a business plan. I didn’t have any money of my own to use as an investment. From that rejection, I then tried to create my own jewellery business, which I have yet to officially launch here, on the website. It used to be known as Tish’s Treasures, which was launched years ago at the local Farmer’s Market. I gave it a good try, for 2 years, but there were restrictions. There I was, a brand new entrepreneur, chasing my dreams of turning my hobby into a sustainable source of income; stuck following someone else’s rules. I was allowed to sell beaded ornaments and suncatchers, but not my jewellery. That venture was doomed before it even started.
Tish’s Treasures turned back into a hobby, one that made appearances with me as a vendor in different craft shows. I did sell a piece or two, here and there, but it never really took off. It wasn’t until this past January, when I pulled my product out of a local store, that I realized that the old business, under the old name, was holding me back.
I haven’t launched any of my product here yet, officially. I have shared my new business name, Tish MacWebber, Always Blinging…
I have yet to take pictures to post products for sale on this website. I have dreams and plans, but they are larger than life. My imagination knows no boundaries.
Writing books and being a jewellery designer is something that works in my mind. I don’t know if I am going to be able to make it work in the real world. As I started writing this, I realized what is holding me back. I’m terrified of failure. Literally terrified.
I have followed my dreams before. Not with as much conviction as I have had this time, but I have tried before. I do not like being told no, and I certainly do not like to be proven to be wrong. I can admit when I am wrong and apologize. But how do you apologize to your toughest critic, yourself?
I have grown a lot since I wrote my first business plan. One of my peers is encouraging me to use her template to write my own business plan. I have been avoiding it like the plague. You guessed right, I am scared to try.
Which sounds ridiculous when you think about it. I have spent very little money on my adventure this far, and I am not ready to give up. Not by a longshot. Despite this very thing, I am avoiding writing my books right now. I am scared of not being able to finish them. Yeah, I know, stopping is the fastest way to never finishing them. I have bailed on a lot of projects in my life. This dream is not going to be one of them.
You might think I have things all together on this side of the computer. Nope. I am not an organized planner at all, even though I have two 2018 agendas that match and are waiting to be used. I bought two sizes so that one could be portable if I needed it, and the other would be my main desk planner. One does help me to keep track of appointments and my husband’s work schedule. They are not being used to their full potential.
Neither am I. While I am Always Thinking…
I am not always doing. Therein lies one of my problems. I am not taking action. I am keeping up with the Blog, but it has been a lacklustre effort of late, and I am changing that right now. I am writing something meaningful again, not just writing for the sake of the commitment to the schedule I set up for myself.
I am at a crossroads while I write this. I have two choices. I can say to heck with it and walk away. That would be the easy option. It would lead me back to a life of putting up and shutting up. Taking whatever comes at me, and losing myself in circumstances. Woe is me, the universe is out to get me, and I am helpless to do anything about it. That really is what my life was like before I started putting myself out there and trying to find my purpose and passion. There is the teeniest, tiniest spark left inside of me. That flame needs to be fanned, and nurtured, and fed to grow. It is the part of me that makes me shake my head when I am writing about giving up. It is the part of me that fuels my passion, and I have to let it flourish. To let this spark go out is to let the creative dreamer inside of me die of boredom, frustration, and hopelessness. That is not something I am willing to do, no matter how scared I am of putting my work and myself out into the world again. A failure is only a true failure if you let it beat you. If you pick yourself up and shake the negativity off, to try something different, change your perspective and attack it from a different angle, you win at life. I want to win at life. I need to follow my dreams. I haven’t felt this good about one of my blog posts in a while, so I am taking that as a good sign, and that I am on my way out of whatever was dragging me down.
I have to share one more experience here, with you. It was from before I even tried to open a craft store on my own, and failed. I was in need of legal advice. I met with a lawyer. I told him about my issues, and he advised that it was not the kind of thing that he could help me with. We had a conversation, and he listened to me talking about this crazy idea I had to open my own craft store. I had a floor plan and had talked to people about flooring and storage and the interior design. I wasn’t ready to present the business plan at that point, but it was clear to the lawyer that it was something that lit a fire inside of me, he could sense that I was passionate about this idea. I had other friends at the time see the same thing, and they were excited for me and with me as I gave it my best shot. It didn’t work out.
The lawyer did two things that day that I will never forget. The first one was that he didn’t charge me a dime. How often do you ever hear people say that about a meeting with a lawyer? Not too many. The second thing was a little more insightful. He encouraged me to keep working on my dreams. He told me that he wasn’t sure that this was the right path for me at that time, but he was certain that I was going to be successful at something, he just didn’t know what, or when. Here I am trying something new, and pushing myself harder than I ever have before.
I might just surprise myself and do just what I set out to do this time. Write my books and design jewellery together, because that is how I want it to be. My passion, my dreams, and my rules.
This story may appear in part or in whole in my second book. I am calling it The Art Of Surprising Yourself, which I announced earlier on my social media platforms this week. This is just an example of something that you might find in my second book. What do you think?