Happy Valentine’s Day! It seemed rather appropriate to write about the heart today. Heart health is important and should not be ignored. This post is not going to be one which is full of facts, spouting all the do and don’t guidelines for the organ’s health. Consequently, you are wondering, what am I going to write about?
The heart for me is a complicated topic. As a creative, I am very in tune with my emotions, which also relate to my heart. Every single beat of my heart wants to spread love and positivity far and wide. I have a strong heart, I am lucky. It can take a lot of use in its various functions, traditional and non-traditional. Let’s explore what I am writing about.
The heart pumps blood to every cell in your body and back in an impressively short amount of time. Constantly. When your heart is physically healthy, it is powerful. I like to think of mine as strong. I have had concerns, especially since I am morbidly obese. As a result of my concerns, I do have it checked when something feels wrong. I have been assured that my heart is not the source of any medical concern when I do get it checked. This tells me it is strong, physically.
Regular exercise is something I have been slack – a- lacking on in the last few months. Several, if I am being totally honest with you. I used to go to Zumba on a regular schedule, twice a week. The location has moved, and with my previous work schedules, it wasn’t always possible to make it in time for the class. The summer was very hot and humid, the price of gas was another reason, and I just stopped going. Once in a blue moon, I would have all the stars align to allow me to go, but it was painfully clear that I am now really out of shape again. I may be in the worst shape of my life as I write this.
I have to stop making excuses, and just exercise. Last week a good friend encouraged me to walk 20 minutes a day. I countered with a plan to dance in my living room instead. Then I didn’t take action. That is on me. I let one excuse become two and then I had seven days of excuses, with maybe five minutes of dancing in the bathroom the other day. I play music when I am in the shower. It helps to keep me on track, and starts my day off a little happier because I add in music. My feet don’t move when I dance in the tub, for safety reasons. Before I get into the shower, however, I may be moved to dance to a whole song.
My husband even gave me a deadline to get the living room cleaned, which I have held in my mind but not really acted on yet. I have started. I have puttered at it. But it is still an excuse. So I need to take action on this also. Any movement at all counts right now. I know it is important. It is time to change the tune inside my head, to maintain the healthy heart I have. It works hard, so I need to honour it by taking better care of it.
The emotional side of me is all heart. I want to help people, I want people around me to be happy. When I am working on this and focusing on the needs of others, rather than on my own, it can be exhausting. This is the type of person I am, and I am learning that I need to also be a protector of my own heart, so it stays strong, emotionally. It might sound odd from a scientific point of view, but it is my truth. My heart is connected to me, and to everything around me.
I have been known to go above and beyond what is required on a project. I am an overachiever. It is in my nature to put the needs of others ahead of my own. This is a common issue for me and for many other people. We want to make sure everyone else is taken care of before taking care of ourselves. This can cause me to lose sleep, and become difficult to be around if you are not the person I am working on the project for. When this happens, I should stop and take a break. If there is a deadline, even a self – imposed one, I am not always able to stop.
I need to be more aware of this so I am giving my best all of the time, instead of focusing it on one project and letting the other areas of my life fall aside; as if they are not important. As if I am not important.
One thing about being in touch with your emotions and embracing them means that if you are a
This leads me to my final thoughts, back to emotions. I have been working on myself, and I am starting to see some positive results from the changes I am making. From the very heart of my being, I know I need to do more. It isn’t easy. If it was, we would all be healthy, active, emotionally balanced people. I embrace all of my emotions, and I need the full spectrum of what that means. I wouldn’t want to be any other way.
People look at me and assume that because I am morbidly obese, I am eating all the time, and lazy. I will admit to the laziness, I am working on overcoming it, in relation to my physical activity levels. This doesn’t mean I am not a hard worker, though. I give my all to everything I do work on.
It is not healthy, and I have done this to avoid facing my feelings. This is one very real thing that has contributed to my weight. It is not the defining factor, though. For me, it comes down to choices. I choose whether or not to be active. Choosing to eat a whole box of chocolates or a large bag of chips to eat my feelings away, instead of facing them. As a result of that choice, I may feel full, or even not well because of it, but I am not facing what is really going on in my life. Choosing fast food instead of taking an hour to cook. These choices add up. To one very important realization.
I am choosing the easy way because I do not feel like I am important enough to choose the better option. It is easier to avoid the issue rather than face feelings and deal with them. Choosing to do better is something I am working on. It is hard. There are so many choices available to me now that I am going to make the wrong ones sometimes. What do I need to do? Start taking action, by making better choices. This is truly the heart of the matter.
Let’s help each other to make better choices. How are you spending your Valentine’s Day? How are you showing yourself that you are important? Please, let me know in the comments.
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 42
I got creative in the kitchen, yesterday. It has been a while. I made brown rice and added fresh mushrooms, green onion, and leftover roast beef in it. I used hoisin sauce. It was in the cupboard, so I used it. It made supper for 2 last night, and my lunch today. I have a little roast beef and green onion left for my roast beef special sandwich for lunch tomorrow. I really love roast beef, green onion, tomato, mayo and A1 sauce done up like a roast beef salad sandwich. My mom named it The Roast Beef Special, and I make it every time I cook a roast beef in the oven.
It has been a busy year for me. I have been working hard on the book, the website, the organizing, the blog, and building my business from the ground up. I have spent hours working on all of these things, but I think I forgot something along the way. Me. My health. I got lazy.
It is so much easier to be lazy and not do the work needed to live a healthier lifestyle. I have lost and gained. I am again scared to weigh myself. I am just not wanting to know the bad news. I am getting back into the practice of making better choices. I have to. My health depends on it.
I have had to work on the insulin levels again. That means I am doing better, when I start having lows it means I am needing to lower the dose. That means my body is responding to the things that I am doing right.
We are on the edge of a food-centered holiday. I am not sure how well I will do. On one hand, I can make treats and try to stick to the THM plan. It is a good way to try to plan ahead. There will be times, though when I will not be in control of the meal, and I will have to make the best choices that I can at the time. Other times I will make things that I know will be good choices to have to eat when I can. So I do have a plan. Sort of.
I also need to start making the moonshine again. Yes, you read that right. THM has a recipe for Good Girl Moonshine. GGMS as it is called, has water, apple cider vinegar, and ginger with a sweetener in it. I add Black Cherry Berry Celestial Seasonings tea to mine. I really enjoy drinking it, and it makes you run to release it if you catch my drift. I have learned that I should not drink it during the day while I am at work. I can have it after work and on the weekends, though. I bought a mason jar with a spout just for the GGMS. I think it is time for a test run. I need to start making little changes now so that I will be on track for 2018.
Have you started thinking about New Year’sResolutions yet? I have, and I will get them organized and plan things out better this year. I did a lot in 2017. What do I want to accomplish in 2018? More. I want to take everything I have done in 2017 and do it better in 2018. It is a place to start, and to build on. That is something I can do, start with little things, and push my limits and go for everything. One thing at a time, then another, and another. I have to start somewhere, and I am not going to wait. The only one that loses out if I keep putting things off is me. And the only thing I want to lose is weight. The time is now.
#TrustYourGut
I did some soul searching this past week. I am looking to find a way to support myself through my creativity. It is not going to happen overnight. I am writing books, and I make beaded jewellery, and I am trying to stay focused.
I have been trying to figure out how to put all the pieces together, and to get ahead. It is an ambitious goal, to be able to support myself by living out my dreams. I am working hard but wanted to explore another what if.
I considered looking into becoming a graphic designer. I am learning so much and challenging myself. I am building a website. For a split second, I wavered. I thought about how much easier it would be for me to tackle a project like that if I learned how to do things properly. If I had the knowledge, it would be easier, and I could advance my own website and launch a career with my own website being my social proof. It would be the best way to start a career.
I thought about it. Really, really thought about it. Hard.
I came to a conclusion. I do not need to branch off in another direction. I have found my passion and the best creative outlet. I need to write. I want to keep doing beadwork, but I need to write. I have been on this journey for a year, now. I have written consistently on the Blog, and I am aiming higher. I want to be a full time writer. I need to write, it is what I am supposed to do.
It is not the easiest decision because it is not going to happen overnight. It is going to take more hard work and dedication. It will try my patience and have challenges. Building a website has already presented me with a roadblock, that I put up myself. I had to sit with it, and sleep on it, and think about it. I have plans, and they will be tackled next month. This month I am writing.
Going in a different direction now would be a disaster. I have found something that feels right to me. It is a dream I had put away for so long that I almost forgot about it. When I started this Blog a year ago, it was to see if it was something I could stick to. Often I have taken on projects and put them aside. I have not stopped writing here, in fact, I have added more to it in this category. I am doing it. Writing consistently. Posting three times a week. Building on what I started a year ago, and proving to myself that it wasn’t another hobby. This is it. My calling. I am so glad that I took a chance and started something new. I am still being contacted by people for advice on how to start their own blog. I can only offer advice and honesty in return for the inquiries. I do know that if I can do it, anybody can. It may not be something that everyone enjoys doing like I do. It may not be someone else’s passion. But it is possible. I am not an expert, but I am having fun, and I still want to keep doing this. When you find out what you are really good at, you will know. If something else catches your attention, think about it, and make a decision. I know that I need to focus on what I need to do and stop being distracted by other choices. This is something I learned in the past year. I look forward to writing and sharing more of this journey here, on the Blog, and seeing where the next year takes me. It is going to see my Blog move to my website. That is something I am not ready for today, but I have the groundwork started and will be focusing on a new launch date, to be announced before it is officially moved.
Until then, I am writing a book for NaNoWriMo, and having a lot of fun with it. Writing in the different points of view of the cats I used to have has been a real trip down memory lane. Oops, did I just let the cat out of the bag? Yes, I am writing a book about cat stories, written as if they are telling the stories. At this point, every single word is breaking a record for the most words I have written with a book as the final goal. That is something that I am holding on to, whether or not I finish the 50,000 word count goal this month. I am going to do my best to pull it off by the end of the month. I still have time. I am also thinking about my fantasy trilogy, and writing notes to myself as they pop into my brain.
I am doing what I can to chase my dreams and catch them so I can make them a reality in my life. What are you dreaming about doing? What is stopping you from trying something to help you find your passion? I am Always Thinking…so if there is something that you want to say out loud to someone, that you want to put into writing, reach out to me, and I will help you if I can. I am finding something else that surprised me about this journey. People want to reach out, and ask advice. I may not know all of the answers, but I can tell you that if you are scared to ask questions, I’m not. I will ask for you if I don’t know the answer to your questions myself. It is something that I am known for. It is how I learn. The other big lesson I learned is to never give up. Being stubborn, it is a hard thing for me to do, to give up. Sometimes, it takes distance to reevaluate the problem, and then try it from another angle. Which I am working on right now in my book writing goals and my website building project. It will happen. It may take more than one attempt, but I have faith in myself that I will succeed. If you want to do something that makes your heart sing, be realistic in your expectations, and go for it. I am, and I am so happy that I took a chance on something that makes me happy. I want the same for all of you. If I can help, I will. All you have to do is ask. 🙂
#TreasureSeekerTuesday
Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Photo by Tish MacWebber; Photo Edited by Noa Price
Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues. It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on. Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real. The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale. If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog. I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.
The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name. If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story. The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors. I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.
This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.
Here is Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 24
Life is funny. Today when I got up I expected good news here on my blog, as I had published an introduction and my second guest blog post on another blogger’s site. I was not wrong. The day turned dark on me this afternoon, and I came home and posted on social media that I was having a hard time. Friends asked if they could help. One person sent a friend request. That person I had never chatted with before helped me turn my night around. I am not saying that I am not still having the feelings I had earlier, but just having a cry wasn’t enough, either. I had to do something different.
I have been using this blog to help myself and to try to help others. Whether it is to share a laugh, or tips, or explore my inner thoughts and demons, I have a purpose here. It has grown since its beginnings under a different name until I was challenged to rethink things and make it better. I like to write, that is obvious, and I have rediscovered my passion for writing since I started this adventure last November. I am working hard at it, to set and keep deadlines, and practice my writing skills. I am proud of what I have done so far.
I am working on myself too. On a day like today, there were too many emotions to keep under the cork. The cork popped, and my tears flowed. I was sitting here unashamedly crying my beautiful blue eyes out, trying to understand why I wasn’t good enough for something else I wanted to do. I am working on a lot of me and there is a lot of me to work on. I am trying to find my gumption every day, not every other week. I am trying to maintain the cleaning I have done thus far in my home, and improve on it. I am doing well with the Blog writing, but not so well in the book writing. I am busy socially, both online and in real life. I am going to Zumba when I can. I do some prep cooking, but admittedly not enough. As I am often told, sometimes I am too hard on myself. The truth is, and I think I have shared this before, I don’t know how to be any other way.
I have issues with self-esteem. I often feel like I am good, but not good enough. This is part of what happened to me today. When I am rejected, it is like I am taking a kick in the teeth. I try not to let things show all the time, but there are days like today that I am frustrated, and my only way to get it out is through my tears. I try really hard to not speak out impulsively in anger. I lost that one today, on both fronts. I really feel like I am being treated unfairly, with a few different things that are happening in my life. All of these things added up, and in time, they have to be let out. Some people yell. Some people become quiet. Some people hide. People like me, well we cry and eat. Trying to fill the hole caused by whatever triggered the feelings. I am trying to change that.
The new friend I made today said to write a gratitude list. Write down five things that I have gratitude about in my life. In a private message, she also invited me to write down 3 things that are causing me to have my issues I posted about. I did. I shared what was going on with a few close friends. My new friend agreed with me that I had a reason to be upset. I didn’t need the validation, but there it was. Without telling this person everything that was setting me off today, they still saw that there is a lot going on for one person to deal with. Keeping those three things inside was a part of what made it so hard for me to cope today.
I need to make some changes. I can’t fix every problem that I am facing right now, but I am trying to work on the ones I can. Tomorrow is a new day. I will try to face it with my best foot forward, but right now, I am feeling a little nervous about that. People that know me know that I am not good at hiding how I feel. It’s going to be a bad day tomorrow because what happened today was bad news for me, and it will be good news for some other people tomorrow. That is going to be hard to swallow. Considering I would rather avoid it all and just make poor choices for what to eat and drink avoid real life tomorrow. I am going to end with my gratitude list. It didn’t fix my problems, but at least it got me thinking about something else. For a little while.
1. Discovering my passion for writing and realizing it is what I am meant to do.
2.My husband is my rock and my hero.
3. The joy I get from working on my blog and watching it grow.
4.My stubbornness.
5. Friends and family.
6. My blue eyes.
7. My sense of humour.
After I calmed down a bit, my final entry to the list for the day was:
8. I still have my teeth. Nobody actually managed to kick any out yet.
My new friend was right. It’s all about perspective.
#TrustYourGut.